Wellness and Success: Heidi Beyer's Guide to Living a Fulfilled Life

Transcript

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And welcome back to another episode of Life Changing Challengers.

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My name is Brad Minus and I am your host.

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And I am probably the luckiest podcast host because on the show today I have Heidi Beyer.

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She is a business owner, entrepreneur, artist, musician, songwriter.

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The girl has done everything, but she's made it her life's purpose.

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So, without further ado, Heidi, how's it going today?

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Hello Brad, I'm doing.

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Great Thanks for having me.

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Absolutely.

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I'm so honored to have you and thank you.

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So, without further ado, Heidi, can you tell us a little bit about your childhood, where you grew up, what was the complement of your family and what it was like to be Heidi as a kid?

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Well, that's a lifetime of learning.

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I was born and raised in New York and I was born in Manhattan Lenox Hill Hospital.

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I was the first child that my parents had.

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My parents are very young.

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I was the first child that my parents had.

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My parents are very young.

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I come from a Jewish background.

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Where we are, my parents really practiced Judaism.

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It was a real big part of their upbringing.

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I was the first of three.

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My dad was an entrepreneur.

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He was very young when my parents married and this was a thing back in the day that a lot of people married young.

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So they were what?

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21, 23 years old and had a lot of dreams and desires.

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You know, we're always very focused on work and doing a good job and just very high work ethic, doing good things for other people.

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My father started and this is a lot about my father is how I actually took on a lot of his traits and who he is, and that's who I am today.

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My parents are doing great, they're loving life.

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They're actually living in Scottsdale, arizona now, and I just always you know I always want the best for them, because they have always wanted the best for me and for my brothers.

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I have two younger brothers and our lives are really rich.

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I mean, my father was just really young and trying to figure it out and he would get mentors as far as business goes, he's all business.

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You know, he had thought about being a doctor when he was younger but instead he really just got pulled into being a business owner.

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So you know, he bought a business really young, and he had mentors who helped him.

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It was he didn't do this, you know, without somebody kind of looking out after him or helping him through the process, but he got into retail and back then I will say retail was a whole other thing.

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It was really people going to this, you know, a shop, and so he owned a stationary store and this was that we bought, that he bought in.

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We moved out to Long Island.

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So I was raised actually in Queens and Forest Hills and then my parents bought a house when I was five, six years old out on Long Island this is on the South Shore, in Baldwin and then my brothers came along when he bought the store.

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I remember I have a distinct memory of me actually working the cash register when I was seven years old.

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So I can tell you I already knew what I was going to be in for for the rest of my life.

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It was really about kind of working the numbers, working the money, but I never came at it from a place of I've always came from a creative place, so it was never like, oh, I want to go into economics or I'm a finance person or finance manager or anything of that nature.

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It was more of a place of being an owner, you know, kind of overseeing all of the particular pieces that go into the puzzle.

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That's so much more interesting, which is a similar makeup that my father actually has always had.

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And then, as we grew, part of my growing up in New York, the interesting part is that it was really about helping the family.

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So while they really created a strong foundation and structure such as Judaism so that was our social life my parents became very involved in the temple and then I became very involved in the temple and in my studies, but it was more, not just, it wasn't about being religious honestly, it was more about learning our culture and having a you know, the connection with others.

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That was really the main part of our social, a part of that balance.

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So while I had that and I was also very encouraged to be in sports.

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Ever since I was very little, I got involved with playing baseball.

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Actually, I played boys baseball, which was something that as I grew and this was maybe I was about 11, 12 years old, but I was the only girl in the league.

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This was back in the day, only girl in the league.

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Only girl in the league and I actually made all-stars.

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I made boys all-star team Beautiful, I know and it was like I was very competitive.

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I also my parents, you know I got into tennis.

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Tennis was a big deal and I I mean we now my, my parents had then bought a business up in Massachusetts so we moved.

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When I was after my bat mitzvah we moved right up, we moved up to Massachusetts.

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So this was, and the thing is that it was very difficult and I don't know if a lot of people have experiences where they've moved around as a kid and I know that you were in the military.

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I don't know if that was something for you, but for me, moving around as a kid and being in New York, very entrenched in New York, I had a very, very strong New York accent.

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I've lost most of my accent but going into I guess it was like seventh grade and moving to Massachusetts, Western Mass, where funnily enough, it's the least accent area in the country where the communications or broadcasters go to learn not in in in that part of the country, learn not to have an accent.

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Anyway, ps, I had a really tough time.

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It was really tough acclimating as a girl, um, and wanting to fit in.

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So that's kind of part of the story where you know I felt so different much of the time.

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Anyway, so good?

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No, no, just to say that's interesting that you know you look like everybody else, you behaved like everybody else, but because of your accent you felt like an outsider.

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Most people are like you'll be like, oh, you got an accent, that's kind of cool you know something different, but you actually felt differently.

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An outsider Most people are like you'll be, like, oh, you got an accent, that's kind of cool, you know something different, but you actually felt differently about that.

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Actually, I was very sensitive, and so being sensitive in which is, you know it's from, and I happen to be, in my life today, very spiritual, so, and spiritual where it's about kind of like just manifesting what you want, like law of attraction, things of that nature, and really kind of going deeper than I like to have deep conversations about things that are why are we here on the planet?

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You know our purpose in life, and it's not about oh, this is, you know, I'm all about let's help the planet, yes, of course, but it's more about well, how can I help, how can I be better for me?

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Because if I'm as good as I possibly can, then other people can see that and hopefully that will help them.

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Now, of course it's, you know, just, we're all, we all touch each other's lives when we meet, and you know there are people that you touch and there are people that you you know, who don't relate to you, but the key is, you know, just to be the best person you can.

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So that that's all I've ever tried to.

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You know that's how I've come to that.

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But the but going back, you know I as being the the first child in my family, my dad had let me know this is actually in the past couple of years.

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He said, when you were born, and maybe you were two or three years old, he said I never had to worry about you.

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He said you were always so confident and competent, he'd say, coming out of the womb, you were so competent that you didn't seem like you needed anybody or anything.

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You didn't seem like you needed anybody or anything.

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You didn't seem like you needed me.

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You were just so filled with confidence and competence and I just always knew that you would be successful in any venture that you did.

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So I took that as a real.

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I mean, to me that was just such a compliment, while of course you know that's kind of a shield, for maybe you know being like you.

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If you come out looking and feeling like you're tough, you don't need anybody.

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But the truth is, is that the the deep sense of wanting to belong and wanting to feel wanted and wanting to have connectivity to other people and and really wanting to be, and so that's been sort of the struggle that I have endured.

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That's part of my life's journey.

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But the key is with my relationship now with my brothers, just kind of going back to the family dynamic, felt, you know, kind of in the shadow of something that they couldn't necessarily, you know, kind of stand up to, or it took them a while to find their own, who they are, you know.

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And actually the relationship with my middle brother had always kind of been a bit fractured up until the last several years as we become really kind of strong adults in ourselves.

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But the relationship with my younger brother was a lot easier and I was able to feel like I could support him more.

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But the key is that, yeah, it was almost like I felt, interestingly enough, I felt like an only child.

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Oh, it was really kind of isolated.

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Kind of isolated but on my own where I was sort of just given the tools or given.

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My parents were extremely supportive of anything that I did and in fact I also was very involved with theater and acting I was encouraged to do, I was involved in the clubs and I went to equity theater groups.

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I was always a top performer and the star of the show or wanted to go to performing arts school in york, you know, and things of that nature that you know and and would read variety, and I was like 12 years old, you know.

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so it was like there were I dreamed of, like of, and I'm talking about not variety, magazine variety, the newspaper, newspaper right now in new york where you get to see all of the auditions, and I would dream of going to the auditions and getting representation and all of that nature.

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So it's like I had a lot of pieces in my life and the other piece, growing up, was becoming my.

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I was encouraged to play an instrument.

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So the instrument that I started playing you know how when kids are in school there, it's like you're playing a flute or you're playing the clarinet or something in band, right.

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And so I actually did try the flute.

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But the truth was I was like forget this.

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It's like as soon as I saw guitar, I knew that that was for me.

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You know that was my vibe, you know that was where I wanted to be.

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It was like forget about, you know, this whole band thing.

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So I started taking lessons.

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I mean, actually it was even before I was taking lessons I picked up the guitar and somehow, innately, I knew how to write music.

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It was like the coolest thing and it was also the most like, you know, like God thing.

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But it was also the most interesting thing, like how would I ever have that intuitiveness to know how to write a piece of music?

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And a lot of it was just.

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You know, I mean, my first song actually was called the Sign of the Times and it was so funny, but maybe, like within I don't know a couple months, there was like a Prince song, right, prince Sign of the Times, exactly.

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Oh my God, it was like I had kind of channeled that and it was what I wrote.

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You know, I was very hooky and it was what I wrote.

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You know, I was very hooky and I had really I'm somebody who easily can, can write music and then write the words, and it's something that was always really fun and not really and actually very almost.

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You know, I didn't, I didn't use this word when I was growing up, but therapeutic, you know, there's almost a very like a happy, I'm a happy place.

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So you find a passion.

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I think that's a lot of people is.

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They find a specific passion.

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Now, that might not be their life's journey, it might not be their their end all be all, but it's something that they're very happy with.

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You just happen to find music.

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I like to draw parallels I play the clarinet and the saxophone.

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In high school I also was in theater my first Bazaar production of.

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Oliver Twist was sixth grade.

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I went through high school and college and then I went into the military.

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The first time I got out I was in DC and I started doing some equity stuff and some semi-pro.

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It's enough to pay your gas to get to rehearsal and back.

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A Sign of the Times was huge.

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That was the second album after Purple Rain.

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Remember the Bangles?

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Yeah, they had a song, the Sign of the Times.

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I just remember going shopping with my mom, you know, up in upstate New York and I heard that the Sign of the Times I think it was the Bangles on the radio and I was a kid and I don't know.

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It was just like, oh, I knew it, I knew that would be a hit.

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You know, like my song it wasn't my song, but the title, you know, it was like the title was out there in the ethers and I had just like kind of pulled from it, isn't that cool.

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When you said that you kind of this innate ability to write music, are you talking about that?

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You were able to strum, play a new, a new melody, yeah, and then put put words to it yeah you're not actually talking about that.

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You all of a sudden could go put a staff out there, write trouble stuff and be able to write the notes right, I didn't really have.

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I can do that and I could do that before.

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Yes, actually I did.

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I did have a very elementary um, I knew the staff and I knew the musical notes.

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I knew theory.

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So when I first started picking up the guitar, taking lessons, yes, I was taught theory.

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Oh, okay, did I care so much about it?

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Only so that I would remember what I played and I could build on that right but is that?

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or it's like oh, was I, you know, like mozart when he was a kid?

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You know, whatever you know would be able to do that I didn't have that desire.

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That wasn't as eloquent, fluent.

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It's more truly innate from a creative.

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That's what I'm interested, that's what I've always been interested in.

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Yeah, like a piece of something and then going, oh my God, that's a cool tune, and then kind of watching it grow into something.

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Yeah, I had a really good friend watching it grow into something, yeah with it, and do an open mic.

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So before you knew it, people started knowing who she was and it was pretty cool.

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But then she had met somebody who was very fluent in musical theory and he was astounded because he was like you're just like doing trial and error to find out where these fingerings are and stuff, and you're coming up with these beautiful songs.

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You know what it took me, after doing several courses in theory and everything, how it took me to do that.

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So, yeah, I believe that you had an innate ability to pull this away, because I've seen it with my own eyes.

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Yeah, and in fact, when you say it like that about that guy who is super fluent in writing and theory, it's two sides of the brain.

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That side is very left brain.

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It's very rational, it's very by the book.

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The right side, which is what you're, what I have and what sounds like jessica was all about, was you know, that's the creative, that's the interesting, that's like you're painting in the background there.

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You know it's sort of oh yeah.

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Yeah, it's kind of like I mean, for those that are watching on youtube, I'll see if I can get a little bit better.

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Oh yeah, yeah, it's kind of like I mean for those that are watching on YouTube.

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I'll see if I can get a little bit better.

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Yeah, so that was drawn and painted by a group of answer kids at St Joe's Children's Hospital here in Tampa.

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Oh what.

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Yeah, that was painted by them, and I had just recently gone to a leukemia and lymphoma gala oh what?

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Yeah, so germs and bacteria will permeate it.

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So they were like we can't take it.

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So I'm like, okay, it's going in the podcast studio, the podcast office, whatever you want to call it.

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So that's what I'm going to do to pull it to the back of the thing.

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I noticed it.

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It's really beautiful.

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I mean, look, it's just a collection of ideas and the colors and the shapes and all of that, and then you've got like a guitar.

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You can see the actual neck of the guitar.

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I mean, so that's what we're talking about.

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What's interesting about being creative and the right brain and having you know, tapping into that, which is really about being the entrepreneur, which is really about trial and error, which is really about risk taking, which is all the connectivity to just you know what.

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Nothing is perfect in life.

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I mean, that's really the bottom line and being okay with allowing imperfection to be perfection.

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I actually have a really great story about really having that insight into perfection, which is really based on imperfection, and it was a trip that I went to Paris.

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This is like in my 20s, right after college, and I was going a friend of mine who's and I'm out in LA and he was a big film guy and he had one of the top films at Cannes Film Festival that year.

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Why don't you come for a couple of weeks?

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So I said sure, so I decided to go to Paris and I went by myself on the trip and of course you know it's really great when you travel alone because you can.

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I like to meet people and I met people that I had really strong connection with, that I had still been connected with for many, many years.

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So, through going to Paris, of course, I'm going to the museum and I happen to love the impressionistic period, which is, yeah, you know, it's like the Van Gogh, it's like the Picasso, it's like all of these periods like that are just super interesting to me and anyway, so I'm going through one of the galleries and I just see one of the paintings and I'm so drawn to this painting so I'm looking at it from afar and it's just, I mean, I'm like in tears.

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It's so beautiful, I'm so moved and it just struck me so deeply that I really started crying.

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And I had moved close to the painting at that point and all of a sudden, I see these pencil marks behind the paint and I'm seeing marks that have been erased and I'm seeing all these you know, the drawing of the artist's drawing, all prior to him putting on the paint, and I'm seeing all the you know kind of like, if you will, the mistakes.

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I looked at it and thought, oh my god, like there are the mistakes, there are the mistakes and I are the mistakes.

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And I went isn't this fascinating?

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And I thought, and I actually had like an epiphany, that this is what life is all about.

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Because when you're looking from afar, like I'll look at somebody you know, and we were saying I live in LA and of course that you look and you see some really exquisite looking people, and I look at someone, I think, oh my God, they must have a wonderful life, they must have a wonderful family, they have somebody who loves them and it you know.

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And you go on and you make up this whole story about the about you know, about somebody, this whole story about somebody.

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And then I'm looking at this painting and this is what intimacy is.

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Now that I know that, but at the time I was like this is about the imperfection of the painting, and then I thought to myself but that is what makes it perfect, and that's the analogy of life is that you go close up to a painting which is close up to a person or a human being, and you see, you know they're not perfect, but that is what you love, that is what you come to love, and then you build the trust on that and that's the relationship that now 30 years down the road, albeit you know somebody.

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Relationship that now, 30 years down the road, albeit you know somebody you know could just be somebody, a dear friend of yours, that you haven't thrown away, you know, that you still have around.

00:22:40.061 --> 00:22:42.988
That's the key to life is just building those relationships.

00:22:43.650 --> 00:22:45.173
Oh, I agree wholeheartedly.

00:22:45.173 --> 00:22:51.387
And then the nice thing that I think about is but there's also those relationships that sometimes just end.

00:22:51.387 --> 00:22:54.932
But they were in your life for a reason, you know.

00:22:54.932 --> 00:23:12.381
And if you can spot that you're like, this person was in my life because I needed to be taught something and they needed to be taught something, and we accomplished that together and we kind of went on separate paths so we lost touch Doesn't mean that you're not friends anymore.

00:23:12.401 --> 00:23:15.287
It doesn't mean that you're now enemies.

00:23:15.287 --> 00:23:19.583
It just means that you kind of float into, you know, into your own paths.

00:23:19.583 --> 00:23:29.304
For instance, like I was just mentioning, if I ever saw Jessica again cause I haven't talked to her in years because we went our separate ways but it would literally take about five minutes and we'd be right back to where we were.

00:23:29.304 --> 00:23:32.130
You know what I mean and you have those kinds of people.

00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:34.865
But she came into my life for a reason she taught me about music.

00:23:34.865 --> 00:23:37.641
She taught me about producing music because I produced some of her music.

00:23:37.641 --> 00:23:41.029
I didn't know anything about that and we kind of took this journey together.

00:23:41.029 --> 00:23:42.560
We also were in a few shows together.

00:23:42.560 --> 00:23:50.048
But then, you know, we just kind of went different paths, but those people will still be there inside you.

00:23:50.048 --> 00:23:58.896
So what I'm saying is that we don't naturally ever throw people away because of what you learned from them, and that's the piece that you take with you wherever you go.

00:23:58.896 --> 00:24:02.080
That being said, let's talk.

00:24:02.080 --> 00:24:04.501
Go back into, let's say, college.

00:24:04.501 --> 00:24:05.622
Did you go to school?

00:24:06.741 --> 00:24:09.923
I went to Emerson College in Boston.

00:24:09.923 --> 00:24:12.243
Emerson is a private communication school.

00:24:12.243 --> 00:24:24.828
It was a school where there was a lot of things that come up Like you're young, you're trying to figure it out, and I always knew what I kind of wanted to do in film and TV.

00:24:24.828 --> 00:24:26.730
It's a film and TV school essentially.

00:24:26.730 --> 00:24:41.555
They have advertising also and I just love as a writer, I love writing and I love kind of the poppy, kind of quotes or coming out with things that would be really easy for people to remember.

00:24:41.555 --> 00:24:46.936
So advertising kind of was something that popped up in the midst of that.

00:24:46.936 --> 00:24:48.356
I was the copywriter.

00:24:48.356 --> 00:24:51.478
I could come up with these really cool, simplistic ads.

00:24:52.861 --> 00:24:57.170
In fact, I was on the radio when I was in Boston in college.

00:24:57.170 --> 00:25:01.926
I was one of the first and I got out to the radio, which was very hard as a freshman.

00:25:01.926 --> 00:25:08.669
I had a scholarship and so part of it was work, study, so I was working as a record librarian.

00:25:08.669 --> 00:25:26.769
That was a dream job for me because I got to meet all of these people who were like at the time radio was the thing and WERS was the best Boston college, boston station, and you could hear it all the way down to New York City.

00:25:26.769 --> 00:25:31.207
It had such a strong signal so they would get a lot of celebrities up there.

00:25:31.207 --> 00:25:32.961
And it was the time of reggae.

00:25:32.961 --> 00:25:37.652
In fact, I got on the reggae show and I had all the Rastafari come up there.

00:25:37.652 --> 00:25:40.044
It was like they loved to see that I had blonde hair.

00:25:40.044 --> 00:25:48.343
It was like I loved it and yeah, I mean, it was like the time of Bob Marley, rita Marley, it was super cool.

00:25:48.343 --> 00:25:51.285
There was a lot of punk, you know, happening at the time.

00:25:51.285 --> 00:25:55.407
Alternative, you know, stuff coming from England, from the UK.

00:25:55.407 --> 00:25:57.608
It was like a really rich time.

00:25:57.608 --> 00:25:59.830
U2 was just coming out, anyway.

00:25:59.830 --> 00:26:05.095
So that was that part and I was all into acting and just it kind of.

00:26:05.335 --> 00:26:06.455
What happened was I?

00:26:06.455 --> 00:26:13.964
Something came up for me which just was like a life-changing experience which was very difficult for me to deal with.

00:26:13.964 --> 00:26:24.653
At the time, my family had moved out to Scottsdale, arizona, I had transferred to ASU and I was still doing the same communications.

00:26:24.653 --> 00:26:44.549
But what happened was I discovered and it was through my own efforts I found a talent agency that these guys had no idea they needed me and in fact, when they write, and so they didn't and I said, don't pay me, I'll do this as an internship, which they had no idea what that meant.

00:26:44.549 --> 00:26:45.451
It's very different.

00:26:45.451 --> 00:26:55.728
The East Coast has a different mentality than the West Coast or even Arizona at the time, for you know kind of this whole thing about how people you take on interns.

00:26:56.289 --> 00:27:12.814
Anyway, ps, I ended up running the agency because these guys all they wanted to do was party, you know, and go out and meet people and just kind of be the face of the business, where now I'm running and I'm going to school for full time.

00:27:12.814 --> 00:27:23.890
In fact I'm hiring, I'm casting friends that were you know I'm in class with and you know all my friends in movies and commercials.

00:27:23.890 --> 00:27:31.691
I mean it was really quite wild and I was running casting sessions and these were you know this is a side franchise agency.

00:27:31.691 --> 00:27:35.502
So I really gained quite a reputation.

00:27:35.502 --> 00:27:40.854
I was like 22 years old, 21, 22, running this entire agency.

00:27:40.854 --> 00:27:42.224
It was really quite remarkable.

00:27:42.807 --> 00:27:53.631
Yeah, I've been in audition, those casting sessions many, many, many times and they could either be run super well or they could be a mess.

00:27:53.631 --> 00:27:55.594
That's an art right there.

00:27:55.594 --> 00:28:05.188
But just the idea that you were running this talent agent while agency while you were in school, that's incredible and you have done.

00:28:05.188 --> 00:28:08.181
What you mentioned is something that I always kind of stick with.

00:28:08.181 --> 00:28:21.454
Like people that are in high positions, right, if you're a CEO, you're a head of marketing, you're doing something like that and you happen to have a friend who fits the bills the right way, use your power.

00:28:21.454 --> 00:28:31.288
You know, if you've got it, there's nothing wrong with it, as long as that person's qualified so for you to be able to put your friends into movies and commercials.

00:28:31.288 --> 00:28:32.549
That had to be fun.

00:28:32.549 --> 00:28:35.115
Just to sit there and say, hey, listen, I got this commercial, you'd be great for it.

00:28:35.115 --> 00:28:36.486
Why don't you come out and read for it?

00:28:36.486 --> 00:28:37.742
You know our thing.

00:28:37.804 --> 00:28:39.327
I loved it, I just loved it.

00:28:39.327 --> 00:28:42.066
It was, but I was, you know, I mean I was.

00:28:42.066 --> 00:28:43.190
I'm just going to say I was lucky.

00:28:43.190 --> 00:28:54.675
You know I made my own luck, but the fact is that it was a very fortunate, a very fortunate experience, you know, yeah, yeah, awesome.

00:28:54.675 --> 00:29:05.256
So when I graduated, you know the whole point was to move out to LA and to become an agent, you know, to do that whole thing, and it was just a lot.

00:29:05.256 --> 00:29:05.698
It was a lot of stuff.

00:29:05.698 --> 00:29:06.039
It was a lot.

00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:07.943
I went through a lot.

00:29:08.727 --> 00:29:10.090
Yeah, diversity.

00:29:10.090 --> 00:29:12.888
That's where we need to go, because that's what we want.

00:29:12.888 --> 00:29:19.794
We want to know what that was, so how you came out of it and now be a serial entrepreneur.

00:29:19.794 --> 00:29:22.887
So tell us about what happened in Los Angeles.

00:29:23.209 --> 00:29:27.631
Yeah, so no, I mean, it was a writer's strike.

00:29:27.631 --> 00:29:30.528
So remember the writer's strike of last year?

00:29:30.528 --> 00:29:31.946
So it was writer's strike.

00:29:31.946 --> 00:29:32.913
So remember the writer's strike of last year?

00:29:32.913 --> 00:29:33.660
So it was writer's strike 1.0.

00:29:33.660 --> 00:29:37.026
And yeah, there was nothing, there was no hiring.

00:29:37.487 --> 00:29:54.865
So, although I had a ton of just a huge, thick referral base and so many people who would love to you know, it was just at the time it was really tough for me to get in and, yeah, it was just a lot of learning about how to kind of handle rejection.

00:29:54.865 --> 00:30:21.173
I even had family in the business and, really knowing that you can't rely on other people, and I was really quite shocked I know so many people do have people that help them easily and effortlessly, with love, and that just wasn't my experience and it was sort of like do your own thing, you have to find your own way, and that's kind of how it's always been for me.

00:30:21.173 --> 00:30:23.585
I have never had anyone sort of open doors.

00:30:23.585 --> 00:30:52.076
I've had to sort of kind of sit back and allow myself well, should I go here, and that's what's allowed me to I will say the word allowed me to go in various directions rather than just, you know, getting really overwhelmed and upset not doing anything, which is never my who I am, and the threat of who I would ever be, or it's sort of like, you know, kind of seeing what, what do you?

00:30:52.076 --> 00:31:00.161
You know, just kind of going with it and really allowing whatever experiences that you get to learn through each and every experience.

00:31:00.161 --> 00:31:13.329
So what happened was I had a friend of mine who was in the garment district and so I thought that would be a really great gig for me, instead of being a talent agent and not that people that I couldn't get in.

00:31:13.329 --> 00:31:14.852
It was just really tough.

00:31:14.852 --> 00:31:17.236
I kept going through interview and nothing.

00:31:17.236 --> 00:31:20.909
It wasn't easy, so I sort of just made some alternative.

00:31:20.909 --> 00:31:23.162
Yeah, I had to work, you know, I had to make money.

00:31:23.281 --> 00:31:27.653
My parents were like not going to fund any, not giving me money.

00:31:27.653 --> 00:31:33.432
In fact, when I first met Nathalie, I was on my cousin's couch.

00:31:33.432 --> 00:31:51.548
They lived right by the Ivy, around the block from Robertson, and just an apartment, and he was an editor and she was in advertising at then Shia Day, which was a big advertising agency, and so they were really cool about letting me stay on their couch.

00:31:51.548 --> 00:31:58.092
But after, like, I guess, maybe it was a week, maybe it was a little less, maybe it was just a couple days.

00:31:58.092 --> 00:32:03.790
It was like you have to go find your own place and I didn't know what to do.

00:32:03.790 --> 00:32:09.664
So my parents, so my mother, said Well, why don't you go over to the Jewish Federation?

00:32:09.664 --> 00:32:14.809
Why don't you go over to the Jewish Federation and ask them to put you up?

00:32:14.809 --> 00:32:18.614
They'll give you money or they'll put you up at a hotel.

00:32:18.614 --> 00:32:21.136
So actually that's what I did.

00:32:21.136 --> 00:32:34.443
I went over there and they do have like vouchers and they put me up at a you know, it wasn't like a hotel, motel, nothing, it wasn't fancy, I think just for a couple nights so I could figure something out.

00:32:34.443 --> 00:32:43.049
And during that interim yeah, I had actually there was a couple things that popped up with a friend who said that they knew somebody.

00:32:43.049 --> 00:32:49.835
So it was sort of like, from there I was able to kind of find a place that I could actually live.

00:32:49.835 --> 00:32:58.509
I don't know what happened quite there, but it was the bridge that I needed to kind of land somewhere in which I did.

00:32:59.090 --> 00:33:03.884
And then so in looking for work, let me go down to the garment industry.

00:33:03.884 --> 00:33:05.147
That would be great.

00:33:05.147 --> 00:33:16.580
Fashion, I'm always into fashion and yeah, and I started working at a showroom and I actually I experienced some harassment.

00:33:16.580 --> 00:33:20.208
This was really talked about this ever.

00:33:20.208 --> 00:33:27.487
Yeah, I actually was the owner of this particular brand, this garment brand, the showroom.

00:33:27.487 --> 00:33:33.067
He was a coke, he was an older man and I guess they do a lot of drugs.

00:33:33.067 --> 00:33:37.528
I've never been into drugs, but he was into doing, want you know, doing Coke.

00:33:38.450 --> 00:34:01.411
And I just know that I was a girl at the desk answering the phones and making the appointments and he would come over and he would try to, you know, kind of put his hand in certain places and do certain things to me and he would also raise his voice and yell at me and I was definitely harassed, sexually harassed.

00:34:01.411 --> 00:34:05.632
But you know, here nor there at the time, nobody brought up.

00:34:05.632 --> 00:34:07.827
It was sort of like, well, what am I going to do?

00:34:07.827 --> 00:34:21.532
So what I did was I actually had the newspaper, because we had newspapers back in the day look for work on my lunch break.

00:34:21.532 --> 00:34:36.750
So I actually looked at ads and I saw this one ad that said the Chosen Few, I kid you, not the chosen few, and it was for an executive recruitment firm.

00:34:36.750 --> 00:34:55.807
And I thought to myself I knew what recruiter was and I thought, well, recruiter, talent agent, recruiter, talent agent, same difference and this company was based in downtown LA, so I knew that I could get there on my lunch break Right and not have a problem.

00:34:55.827 --> 00:35:01.438
So I went over to the chosen few and I met this guy.

00:35:01.438 --> 00:35:09.418
He was this gay guy who I absolutely fell in love with Christian, and they hired me right on the spot and I was.

00:35:09.418 --> 00:35:14.117
It was the luckiest well luck, you know, it was the most fortunate.

00:35:14.117 --> 00:35:21.418
I got out of that situation that I was so antithesis of anything I've experienced before.

00:35:21.418 --> 00:35:25.152
It was so scary and I was able to get out of there.

00:35:25.152 --> 00:35:34.512
And you know, that was the thing and my parents were behind the scenes supporting me, telling me that they're not giving me money but I could figure it out on my own.

00:35:34.512 --> 00:35:44.927
And this is sort of how it's always been, you know, and not that they didn't want to not give me money, but it's always been like, even when they've had money, it's always like they don't have money.

00:35:44.927 --> 00:35:50.286
There's this thing where they always felt like they never had money, even when they had plenty of it.

00:35:51.409 --> 00:35:53.831
No, that is a typical Jewish trait.

00:35:53.831 --> 00:35:55.554
I have grown up with that myself.

00:35:55.554 --> 00:36:01.485
And yeah, that's like no, no, no, no, well, no, well, we don't really, we don't really want to buy there.

00:36:01.485 --> 00:36:11.927
You know, oi, vey, I mean it's just like that's so expensive, but it's like normal, it's like competitive pricing, and all of a sudden it's like, oh my god, it's so expensive, what are we supposed to do about that?

00:36:12.588 --> 00:36:26.119
And I, and, but yet they've got, you know, a couple million dollars stashed in the bank, right, always about it's, you know, and I think that that's part of some Jewish antithesis is the fact that, no, it's always about tomorrow, it's always about tomorrow.

00:36:26.119 --> 00:36:30.996
No, no, no, if I spend it now, I'm not going to have it for later, right, and yeah.

00:36:30.996 --> 00:36:37.315
And so it's like no, no, no, you don't need the hamburger now because you're gonna need it later.

00:36:37.315 --> 00:36:41.237
You know, you're not gonna get french fries now or ice cream because you're gonna want it later.

00:36:41.237 --> 00:36:42.119
It's the same thing, right?

00:36:42.378 --> 00:36:50.655
I don't know if you grew up the same way with me, but when my grandparents and this is the same thing, right, grandparents would be like, hey, you should eat something, you should eat something, go ahead.

00:36:50.655 --> 00:36:59.976
And they'd be like they go up to 90 minutes before dinner, right, and they'd be like can I eat, eat, eat, and all of a sudden, 89 minutes before dinner, what are?

00:36:59.976 --> 00:37:03.240
And they'd be like can I eat, eat, eat, and all of a sudden, 89 minutes before dinner, what are you eating over there?

00:37:03.260 --> 00:37:04.822
We're going to have dinner Exactly.

00:37:04.822 --> 00:37:07.068
Oh my God, that's exactly it.

00:37:07.389 --> 00:37:09.092
It's always about the future, the future, the future.

00:37:09.092 --> 00:37:10.376
Yeah, yeah, I get that.

00:37:10.376 --> 00:37:11.530
So you got out of that.

00:37:12.184 --> 00:37:13.766
And also the fear of not having.

00:37:13.766 --> 00:37:15.789
And it actually, it actually it's still in me.

00:37:15.789 --> 00:37:30.295
I mean, look, you know, I'm the product of my family and it's in my DNA and there's that fear that, yeah, I mean, something's going to go wrong, I'm not going to have anything to you know, and I'm going to be out on the street.

00:37:30.295 --> 00:37:31.360
So that never has happened.

00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:34.050
But you know, it's always like.

00:37:34.050 --> 00:37:38.391
It's that like that Jewish fear that's just so annoying.

00:37:38.391 --> 00:37:42.085
It's that Jewish fear that's just so annoying.

00:37:46.605 --> 00:37:55.280
Yeah, anyway, PS, I start at this recruiting firm and it's in the legal area and I kid you not, from that point to six months later, I made $100,000.

00:37:55.280 --> 00:37:56.907
And how I did?

00:37:56.907 --> 00:37:58.831
It was I got.

00:37:58.831 --> 00:38:11.452
And this is what happens when you're forced to, you know, when you are put up with where you're not, where you have nothing, and you're forced with the such this adversity that you just work it out and you figure it out.

00:38:11.452 --> 00:38:16.206
I picked up napoleon hills think and grow rich.

00:38:16.206 --> 00:38:19.047
I read it cover to cover.

00:38:19.047 --> 00:38:22.630
It's the little book, and I studied it.

00:38:22.630 --> 00:38:24.952
I swear there's this plan.

00:38:24.952 --> 00:38:26.614
It tells you step by step.

00:38:26.614 --> 00:38:29.356
It's the cookbook recipe of how to do it.

00:38:29.356 --> 00:38:37.362
And I followed that cookbook recipe and I made $100,000 in six months time.

00:38:38.445 --> 00:38:45.391
Okay, so you worked out some sort of contract with these guys, with the recruiting firm, or you basically were working on a drop up commission.

00:38:45.972 --> 00:38:46.492
I worked there.

00:38:46.492 --> 00:38:46.974
I was a.

00:38:46.974 --> 00:38:47.815
I was a recruiter.

00:38:48.878 --> 00:38:55.996
Right, so it was drop plus commission and it had occurred that because of a commission base of recruiting people, it's all commission.

00:38:56.036 --> 00:38:57.730
I mean it was a hundred percent commission.

00:38:57.730 --> 00:38:58.432
Yeah, Nice.

00:39:03.644 --> 00:39:04.893
It recruiting people and commission I mean it was a hundred percent commission yeah, Nice, it could have break it.

00:39:04.893 --> 00:39:08.469
So just to put the education out there, because when people hear recruiter, they're like, oh, that means that you, you know, you worked at an office and got people jobs.

00:39:08.469 --> 00:39:13.603
I've worked with so many recruiters on both sides and it's people don't.

00:39:13.603 --> 00:39:14.304
We don't understand that.

00:39:14.304 --> 00:39:16.269
Hey, those are guys that come to you to get you the job.

00:39:16.269 --> 00:39:22.128
A piece of your paycheck that you get every week goes to that recruiter as long as you stay in that job.

00:39:22.128 --> 00:39:23.432
No, that wasn't.

00:39:23.432 --> 00:39:24.155
That wasn't.

00:39:24.155 --> 00:39:24.876
It is now.

00:39:25.264 --> 00:39:34.349
That's a temp agency, an executive recruiter, and I'm just sharing this was my experience.

00:39:34.349 --> 00:39:36.150
Yeah, this is a flat fee.

00:39:36.150 --> 00:39:38.445
It was a flat fee, yeah, okay.

00:39:38.445 --> 00:39:40.690
So I, you know, the fee came right away.

00:39:40.690 --> 00:39:42.255
It wasn't like, oh, you stay.

00:39:42.255 --> 00:39:45.472
It was like, oh, you don't make it in a year, you make it, you know if it.

00:39:45.472 --> 00:39:50.766
Yeah, it was like, let's say, the person's salary was 150,000.

00:39:50.766 --> 00:39:51.947
So you get a what?

00:39:51.947 --> 00:39:54.789
10% commission or whatever it is you know.

00:39:55.809 --> 00:40:00.632
Yeah, so we were and I worked because it was basically IT management and executive.

00:40:00.632 --> 00:40:11.818
There's a contract, so if you're contracted for one year, the recruiter will get a piece of your salary for the whole year because they want you to stay in it, and the minute you leave they lose it, right?

00:40:11.818 --> 00:40:19.802
So that's the model Put as many people into their clients' hands as possible and each little one gives you a little bit each time.

00:40:19.802 --> 00:40:26.108
But if they fail then you lose it.

00:40:26.108 --> 00:40:27.836
But there definitely still is the fact that you put up people.

00:40:27.856 --> 00:40:29.684
Now the other thing is that there's always eventual steps where people get hired.

00:40:29.684 --> 00:40:32.391
So they're on contract for a minute and then they get hired.

00:40:32.391 --> 00:40:39.349
If they get hired within the contract, then there's more money that goes to the recruiter because they hired you out of it.

00:40:39.349 --> 00:40:46.367
Or once they finish the contract, then they can be hired without you know any extra money going to the recruiter.

00:40:46.367 --> 00:40:50.447
But that's just a little bit of education for everybody Because, like I said, I've been on both sides.

00:40:50.447 --> 00:40:53.996
But that might that definitely an executive recruiter might.

00:40:53.996 --> 00:40:57.309
There might probably more flat fee than reoccurring.

00:40:58.309 --> 00:40:58.590
Yeah.

00:40:58.590 --> 00:41:05.699
So you know, from there, at that point, you know, I was able to really go back into my creativity.

00:41:05.699 --> 00:41:06.681
So that was the whole point.

00:41:06.681 --> 00:41:27.621
But everything that I've ever done is really to set myself up for freedom, for having time, for the freedom of time, having the funds to basically take care of my time, to do whatever I want and to be able to be creative and enjoy that part.

00:41:27.621 --> 00:41:30.054
So that was the whole purpose of me.

00:41:30.054 --> 00:41:41.079
You know, when I say, boy, I made this money, well, that was really about me then kind of having a platform to go and do my creativity, right, nice.

00:41:41.079 --> 00:41:47.972
So at that point I really focused on connecting with my music and that was where I went.

00:41:48.224 --> 00:42:04.253
I was doing acting at Stella Adler, you know, oh, stella, yeah, sure, my teacher, he was a big commercial kind of bit actor shows and he said you really need to go get yourself an agent and I really appreciated that.

00:42:04.253 --> 00:42:06.753
But I was really very focused on my music.

00:42:06.753 --> 00:42:09.505
That's where I wanted to go.

00:42:09.505 --> 00:42:19.583
I was really hoping to get signed and be kind of like a Sean Colvin or a Suzanne Vega at the time, or just a female singer kind of singer-songwriter.

00:42:19.583 --> 00:42:20.867
That was where I was at.

00:42:20.867 --> 00:42:22.150
That's what I was aiming for.

00:42:22.150 --> 00:42:25.115
So I was recording.

00:42:25.115 --> 00:42:30.135
Taking the money that I made, I put a band together playing out doing that whole thing.

00:42:30.135 --> 00:42:30.797
Yeah.

00:42:33.505 --> 00:42:48.141
So basically, what you're saying is that you were trying to get to the point where you weren't trading hours for dollars, that you would spend a certain amount of time, make a bigger amount of money, put it away and then be able to do your creativity.

00:42:48.141 --> 00:42:54.956

Wellness and Success: Heidi Beyer's Guide to Living a Fulfilled Life

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