Unlocking Success with Dan Story: Fitness, NLP, and Overcoming Challenges

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And we're back with another episode of Life-Changing Challengers.

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Again, I'm your host, brad Minus, if you didn't already know that, I'm extremely lucky and privileged to have Dan Story on the show today.

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How are you doing, dan?

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I'm doing well.

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Thanks, brad.

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It's a good day here in Prague.

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It's been a good day with the family, but excited to be having a conversation with you today.

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Oh, and, as I so, dan is an author, three-time author, a motivational speaker and a sales trainer, and he's got some amazing science behind it that will help you with any kind of transformation journey that you might have.

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And he deals with more on the scientific mind side of it mindset side.

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But before we get into all that great stuff, dan, please let us know what was it like in your childhood, where did you grow up, what was the complement of your family and what was it like to be Dan as a kid?

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I grew up in a city in England called Bristol it's about two hours west of London and I had a very good childhood, my parents growing up.

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Actually, they both divorced and went on to find partners that were far better suited for them, but luckily me and my brother came along before that point and then I spent actually my childhood growing up in the middle of the countryside, in fact on a hill.

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I can't write this.

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It was the countryside, in fact, on a hill.

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I can't write this.

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It's on a hill.

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I would do a very small school.

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There are 47 people in the school, including teachers.

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In my class there was three kids, and so you've got to imagine this hill and we'd have to walk to school.

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But this was back in the day, right when there weren't any crazy people around that there are today.

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So my parents just, yeah, just walked down this farm lane, say hello to the tractors, all those kind of things and actually growing up.

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And we're going to talk about fitness today.

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I had quite a good fitness upbringing.

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My stepdad liked to run, he liked to play squash.

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He would run across the hills.

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I don't make it sound like you live on a prairie, I didn't.

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It was very close to the city but as kids we would cycle after him so we'd do that and as I grew up, that kind of fitness thing became part and part of growing up.

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I played soccer as a kid, I played cricket and learned all sorts of sports growing up, so fitness was a big part of it.

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But yeah, eventually we moved from Bristol to Gloucester.

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Then I won't go into it too much, but ended up just finding some passion for fitness and training in the gym from like 14, 15.

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This was back in the days before Instagram and all the kids who were in the gym Me and my brother thought we were trying to lift these things around and ended up going to university studying this idea of fitness.

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I wasn't good enough at the fitness side at the point, so I had to back it up with some academics, so I weirdly got a sports and maths background.

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In theory I'm really good at counting press-ups, although I definitely, but that was it really.

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And then, I guess a few years later, I went back to study a little bit more about the science of sport and a friend of mine said hey, you should listen to this.

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At the time he gave me a CD and it was about neuro-linguistic programming, so I think you might like this.

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And that one moment was the start of my, I guess, love affair with psychology and the understanding of the brain, knowing that we're going to push ourselves physically but actually it's the brain and the mind and the wiring that we have internally that's going to define a lot of the success or non-success that we're going to get in life.

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All right.

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Well, that's great, but we need to step back a little bit.

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You, like, ran through that.

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I'd never had anybody run through that fast.

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So you've got a brother, yep, older, younger, a year and a half.

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We were quite close, yeah, excellent.

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And when you so, you played, you had sports.

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You'd mentioned soccer, which we know you actually called football.

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All right, yeah, no, we'll come to that because I played football as well.

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My main sport when I got to university was football.

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I was quarterback for the university team.

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I ended up playing for Great Britain.

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I played in the States against Menlo College in San Francisco, played in Finland and I played all the way up until about four or five years ago.

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Wait, a second, wait.

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Yeah, I was always told.

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First of all, I was always told, if you're in Great Britain, soccer is football, football, football, right.

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So when did that change?

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Has that changed in your lifetime?

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Yeah, there's still the community, right.

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So in England football is football, football's a round one.

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In fact, in about an hour's time we're going to be competing for the European Cup right, the England team.

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Okay, the european cup right, the england team okay.

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But there's also a big passionate group of people that like gridiron or american football or I would call that football english people would call it american and I remember growing up actually watching it on tv.

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This was back in the days where budweiser sponsored kind of the ball and stuff like that, and I remember watching games.

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I loved the kind of excitement and the passion and speed of American football, watching it.

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As a kid I got the plastic balls.

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We'd throw them around with kids on the street and stuff.

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And actually there was a team in my hometown where I grew up and as a kid I think it was like 15, 16, I just started to go along and play with the ball and throw it around.

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And then when I got to university there was a team there and I was seeing captain football, cricket, rugby and stuff.

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At school I did okay with sport and then I got to university I was like what sport am I going to play?

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And there was this team saying, oh, do you want to come play american football?

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I thought I've never tried it, let's jump into it.

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And I loved it.

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What can I say?

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It's it was.

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It was a sport I really enjoyed.

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I loved the, the psychology side of it.

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You're trying to outwit your opponent, but I love the physicality of it because it's high speed, it's high impact, unless you're me and you play quarterback, which I avoid all of that and you try and stay in the kind of cognitive and thinking space In the pocket.

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Yeah, so that's it's God.

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That's really interesting because you know, I'm a little bit older than you and I had never thought that.

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I had no clue that in England they were actually playing American football.

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That's's typically about three regular season games in the uk.

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I think they've got some in germany.

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They're trying to push them into mexico as well.

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So it's yeah, and every game sells out like.

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I've been to wembley, seen the twickenham is packed and I think the english crowd is starting to appreciate it more.

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I think in the back when I was playing it was oh, this is crazy.

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What do you just take the pads off?

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Now everyone sees the athleticism because these guys on the pitch professional footballers, american footballers.

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They're the best athletes in the world Strongest, fastest, and they're going against the other guy who's the second hardest and they're still rocking a hard pace.

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It's one of those kind of things.

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So I think it is growing in popularity.

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People, those kind of things.

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So I think it is growing in popularity.

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People love to see it.

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Will we ever get a franchise in uk?

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I don't think so, but it's nice to dream.

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It's just so interesting that you say that, because we all think that in america we're like think no, football is actually slow because it's play, stop huddle, figure it out.

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Talk to the coach boba okay, now another, another 11 second play, okay, let's go, let's stop huddle again.

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So we all think it's slow and we think soccer is fast because it's 90 minutes of it doesn't stop, it's back and forth, except you only stop for timeouts and to throw in the ball.

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Yeah, and it's a different type of scene, right?

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I mean, if you ask my wife which is better, she doesn't like soccer anyway, but she's come to watch me play games and it's boring, especially the amateur game in England.

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It is very slow, but it's.

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I think the moments of game, like when you're actually playing, it's that it's six seconds of just let's go as hard and as fast as we can.

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I love rugby.

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I think the rugby game is amazing, but rugby always looking there, right, it's always just in front of you.

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You can predict what's going to happen.

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If you see someone coming, you tend to slow down or do whatever you protect in football.

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It's this all angles.

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You've got to keep your head on the swivel sort of thing, and it's also.

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Here's one thing I do like this.

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It's a perfection.

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There's an element of perfection to it that you need to have.

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The execution of football is different to every other sport.

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Like, as a quarterback, you throw the ball, it's got to be in exactly the right spot.

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Your wide receiver might make play, but it's got to be there.

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In football, you make a pass.

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Oh, it doesn't matter.

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Right, it's gone.

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Someone runs after it.

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I'll get another go in a second.

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It's not like that.

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It's that.

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So it's that pressure element with athleticism.

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Plus the out-thinking the opponent.

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I don't know, there's a unique combination.

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I've never heard it explained that way and I think you're absolutely 100 correct.

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I love watching football just as much as the next guy.

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And oh yeah, just to give you this one.

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So I'm from chicago, right, and I live in tampa, not the last time, the time before that.

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We don't.

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We only get a match-up between chicago and tampa every four years, and I was.

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It was going to be here at Tampa, tampa was going to be the home team.

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I'm like, getting ready to, I'm going to buy tickets, I'm going to go, and that was the year they did it in England.

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Sorry about that.

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Next time.

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Because we only play every four years and then it's opposite.

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So I really preferred them to come to Tampa no-transcript.

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So where did you move to, when, or where did you end up residing when you got out of school?

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I went home for a bit.

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I went to work at a gym, I got my degree and I went back into fitness and started.

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There's scientific knowledge about how the body works and so I'll go and work in the gym.

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First person I got to speak to with this little old lady.

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She was like 74 years old and wanted to know how to use the treadmill and, like you, don't want to know about muscle contraction and all the energetic pathways.

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No, she did not and that's what inspired me to go back to school and like back to university did my master's in physiology was I wanted to work with athletes.

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Like I love competition, I like peak performance level, so I do love the gym.

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I think there was a lot of people go there and it's a great place for people to start the journey.

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I also like to challenge myself and see, okay, well, how can we push the top end the envelope as well?

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But I never made it.

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I never actually got to work with athletes because I fell into this psychology thing and then it turns out that a whole bunch of people in business need psychology as well.

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So that kicked off.

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You mentioned about the sales training going and teaching salespeople and sales leaders how to get in the right headspace to influence people and how other people think and how we can influence that thought as well.

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Where was that?

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So tell me about that transition.

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So you went to school, you were doing physiology, someone gives you an nlp book and then how?

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So how did you?

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Where was the transition there to go into sales?

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so I love the nlp and I thought, right, I'm gonna go and study this.

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And because I don't know, I haven't grown out of it yet.

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So if it's a phase, I don't know, but it's a long phase of being a student for life.

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So I I thought, right, here's a great idea, I want to go and study it some more.

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So I went to this school and enrolled in the NLP practitioner master practitioner course, got on with the guys there and they were teaching open courses.

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People go and learn this kind of more of a coachy type, therapeutic-y style NLP.

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And then they got this contract for teaching it to business people and the guys who I studied with is a genius, absolutely amazing guy, but you should not put him in a boardroom.

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And he knew that, he knew his limitation and so he said, dan, do you want to do?

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You want to go and teach this stuff to these people over there?

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They're graduates, they're coming into their first sales role.

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Let's go and teach them some nlp.

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And so I thought, why not?

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Let's try it, let's go do it.

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So did it spent, I think it was, three days at his house getting downloaded.

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It's like the matrix basically.

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Probably it's like nlp when it's all these kids.

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I say kids.

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It was barely just in front of them and it was a two-week nl sales training course and I sucked.

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It was the worst training I've ever given.

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But you learn and you get better over time.

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And what I quickly realized is that salespeople don't want to learn NLP, they don't want to learn neurolinguistic programming, they want to learn how to sell and the techniques from NLP are very helpful for salespeople.

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And so I guess over the next few years I was trying to say well, how can we teach sales?

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How do I learn the language of sales?

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How do I embed these ideas so I can talk to them in their language and not just sound like some kind of crazy advocate for some psychology thing at the front them?

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They hit me up on linkedin.

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They say some of them are running their own companies now.

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Some of them have been on the apprentice and they've done extremely well and won that and they, you know, grown their own companies, the heads of sales at companies now.

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So I've got some pretty good students in my alumni.

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I'm not going to take the credit, but at least I was part of the journey and gave them some like impetus or education that they appreciate, I think yeah, I think us as coaches and I always I get that too.

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I'm like, hey, you know what?

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I got my PR because of you.

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And I'm like, no, you didn't get it because of me, you did it because of you.

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Let me ask you a question who did all the work?

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She goes well, you gave me, you guided me yeah, guided.

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You put in all the work.

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You ran all those miles, you swam all those miles, you biked all those miles.

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You're the one that did it all.

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I just gave you an idea of how to get there, so, and motivated you.

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That's it.

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So this is all on you.

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So I love the way you said that that was perfect.

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So you know what?

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I think this is a good segue.

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Let can you define nlp as well as roughly as you can.

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Let's say, 30 000 foot view, cool.

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So nlp, I think, is a language to explain what's going on in people's heads as they do certain things.

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So it's actually it's a technology or a set of tools that were designed by a couple of guys one was a lingu linguist, one was a computer programmer and they said let's look at excellence in therapy and coaching in this kind of world of people manipulating people's brains, and let's see what we can figure out and let's give it some kind of structure.

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So they would look at hypnotists, and at the time you're a hypnotist and you could hypnotize people, but nobody really understood how.

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And so they looked at it and said, okay, well, we can break it down.

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It's these processes and we're going to give it a language so that we can teach other people.

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Or they would look at people building rapport.

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Right, who's really good at building rapport?

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Okay, what is it they're doing?

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How are they using their body, how are they using language, how are they using tonality, all those kind of things?

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We know it, we can go and teach it, and so I guess it was an element of codifying or giving a language to something that was previously a bit fluffy and now could be replicated in multiple different contexts.

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So I think that's probably what NLP is.

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It's a language that you can use to explain psychological processes that are going on in a way that is fairly easy to understand.

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Excellent NLP Neural Linguistic Programming.

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Yep.

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So think about you're doing some programming and you've got two aspects You've got the brain and you've got your words and trying to figure out how people are wired and change your wiring as a result.

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Yeah, that totally makes sense for sales.

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Neural Linguistic Programming in a way to speak to the person in order to entice.

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Well, for lack of a better term, manipulate I like that word, that's a good word.

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Yeah, well, I mean basically what it is.

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I'll give you an example.

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I'll give you a quick example.

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This is what I learned.

00:15:38.052 --> 00:15:43.683
So I did some sales training myself, so this is what I was always taught One of the greatest things they talk about leading questions, right?

00:15:43.683 --> 00:15:48.611
So if I ask you Dan, I'm like Dan, so right now you're in Prague, right?

00:15:48.611 --> 00:15:53.008
Yep, okay, great, where is some of the places that you love to vacation?

00:15:54.220 --> 00:15:55.325
We just went to the Greek islands.

00:15:55.325 --> 00:15:55.907
Very nice.

00:15:55.907 --> 00:15:57.725
We're going to New York, or move to New York.

00:15:57.725 --> 00:16:02.052
Had a vacation in New York, anywhere with sunshine, yeah.

00:16:07.700 --> 00:16:08.581
Okay, anywhere with sunshine, yeah, okay.

00:16:08.581 --> 00:16:12.306
So if I was standing next to you, I'd be telling you hey, I'm going to prove to you that you're not here.

00:16:12.306 --> 00:16:12.645
Okay, all right.

00:16:12.645 --> 00:16:14.609
So you love going to New York.

00:16:14.609 --> 00:16:18.253
It's one of the places you'd like to go to and you're going to move there, but you're not there right now.

00:16:18.253 --> 00:16:21.181
Right, no, not yet Right.

00:16:21.181 --> 00:16:24.684
And you like going to the Greek islands, but you're not there yet either.

00:16:24.684 --> 00:16:26.307
Correct, right.

00:16:26.307 --> 00:16:27.528
And then what was the third one?

00:16:27.528 --> 00:16:28.070
San Francisco.

00:16:28.590 --> 00:16:29.491
Anywhere with sunshine.

00:16:29.491 --> 00:16:30.572
So yeah, we'll go anywhere.

00:16:30.653 --> 00:16:35.282
I was in California last year, so let's go to California and you're not there, right, yep?

00:16:35.282 --> 00:16:43.380
So if you're not in New York, greece or California, then you got to be someplace else, right, yep?

00:16:43.380 --> 00:16:46.485
Well, if you're someplace someplace else, how?

00:16:47.206 --> 00:16:48.107
can you be here?

00:16:48.128 --> 00:16:52.654
oh, logic right, yeah, so there you go.

00:16:52.654 --> 00:16:54.096
I could prove people they aren't here.

00:16:54.618 --> 00:17:07.532
So anyway, leading programming, but that kind of like almost dictates what you're talking about yeah, there's I mean, there's so many great applications of it, and the reason I like sales is because it's one of those ones you can apply pretty immediately.

00:17:07.532 --> 00:17:14.545
You can go into the next conversation you have and you can try a technique like that right, different types of questioning and get people to think differently.

00:17:14.545 --> 00:17:16.450
So I think it's really interesting.

00:17:16.450 --> 00:17:18.760
But I also like with salespeople.

00:17:18.760 --> 00:17:24.589
There's so many limitations to performance in sales and we'll come into this in terms of the side as well.

00:17:24.589 --> 00:17:31.710
But you know, if you're a sales, if you've been sales, let's say you've got to make a phone call, right, what happens as you're approaching the phone?

00:17:31.710 --> 00:17:32.211
I don't do.

00:17:32.211 --> 00:17:33.275
We still have physical phones.

00:17:33.275 --> 00:17:34.788
I don't endorse the thing so a lot.

00:17:34.807 --> 00:17:40.486
It doesn't matter whether you're using a cell phone or whether you're using that, but yeah there's that period of like I've got to make a call and what happens?

00:17:40.526 --> 00:17:46.375
right, your heart rate starts going up, your mind starts talking to you and say, hey, what if they don't like you?

00:17:46.375 --> 00:17:48.607
Or what if they say something mean or something like that?

00:17:48.607 --> 00:17:55.510
And the impact on performance is crazy, right, and sometimes it completely stops performance, don't do anything.

00:17:55.510 --> 00:17:59.779
And this is that's just three seconds right Of looking at the phone and going.

00:17:59.779 --> 00:18:02.067
Imagine that over a career.

00:18:02.067 --> 00:18:04.125
Imagine, but imagine we could wipe that out.

00:18:04.125 --> 00:18:06.224
Imagine we get people to actually enjoy that part.

00:18:06.224 --> 00:18:10.521
So that I think there's loads of cool applications in sales and I've tried to escape.

00:18:10.521 --> 00:18:20.537
I've tried to go into the sports side, but you know, sales just keeps pulling me back and I like the challenges, though yeah, I can imagine so, how long so you're?

00:18:20.758 --> 00:18:24.806
but you're still doing sales training right now, right still yeah, yeah, still spend a lot of time with sales people.

00:18:24.806 --> 00:18:28.212
I'm now moving into this whole mental toughness space as well.

00:18:28.212 --> 00:18:29.074
So I love the NLP.

00:18:29.074 --> 00:18:30.739
I love the persuasion side.

00:18:30.739 --> 00:18:38.253
It's become less overt and more just a complete part of what I do is I add aspects of psychology into training.

00:18:38.253 --> 00:18:44.613
So I did a master's degree in behavioral science and everything about all the thinking fast and slow books and all those kind of things.

00:18:44.613 --> 00:18:52.477
If you behavioral science and everything about all the thinking, fast and slow books and all those kind of things is how to, if you're trying to influence someone, you've got to understand how they make decisions right, because you put those two together it's it's pretty powerful.

00:18:52.477 --> 00:18:53.961
So I can just tell you that.

00:18:54.403 --> 00:18:56.329
And then sales is tough.

00:18:56.329 --> 00:19:02.535
Sales is getting tougher and one of the things that I've seen over the last few years is just the corporate world just beating sales.

00:19:02.535 --> 00:19:05.467
It would be just beating everyone down, but it's beating salespeople a lot.

00:19:05.467 --> 00:19:12.288
It's the expectations going up, the pressure is coming down on them as well, and so there's a resilience piece in there.

00:19:12.288 --> 00:19:19.791
There's a stick-to-itiveness, there's a kind of grit and perseverance piece that I think salespeople need some support with.

00:19:19.791 --> 00:19:27.542
The money's great and it helps make things a little bit easier, but I think people need a little bit more of the money there.

00:19:27.542 --> 00:19:32.724
So helping them keep their head straight while they're under pressure is something I've been working on with them as well.

00:19:34.444 --> 00:19:41.887
I can imagine that is a tool that most salespeople need right now, and I can understand it because you've got everything at your disposal.

00:19:41.887 --> 00:19:49.250
Back then, back in my day 80s, 90s, that area you walked into someone's house to try to sell them something.

00:19:49.250 --> 00:19:52.972
The information they got was from you, yeah, and if you can get them.

00:19:52.972 --> 00:19:59.494
Now it's like someone says, well, this will do this for you, and blah, blah, blah, and it's like let me one second, let's go to the Google box.

00:19:59.494 --> 00:20:00.756
Yeah, they literally have that.

00:20:00.756 --> 00:20:02.195
Hold on, what did you just say, won't you?

00:20:02.195 --> 00:20:07.958
Yeah, right, so you've got to take that into consideration, which I think is incredible.

00:20:07.958 --> 00:20:15.751
So when you were teaching sales using NLP this first time, you said that you didn't do well the first time, but you got better.

00:20:15.751 --> 00:20:17.575
Were you working for somebody?

00:20:17.575 --> 00:20:20.223
Were you working for a company that was having this program?

00:20:20.865 --> 00:20:22.727
The school that I was studying the NLP with.

00:20:22.727 --> 00:20:27.213
They got a contract or referral and all those kind of things.

00:20:27.213 --> 00:20:31.289
It was their contract so I actually worked with them for a year delivering it.

00:20:31.289 --> 00:20:45.028
So it was two weeks on, two weeks off and I would literally go to south of England and I'd stay in a little B&B and just hang out there and teach for two weeks NLP and sales and these principles and then we'd have two weeks off and it was working.

00:20:45.028 --> 00:20:47.893
The contract was with a recruitment company so they'd have an intake.

00:20:47.893 --> 00:20:57.500
They'd start them there, train them for two weeks, then send them off into their first role in IT sales, go and sell IT solutions of all sorts of weird and wonderful contracts.

00:20:57.500 --> 00:21:00.707
I still don't understand what IT is, but I help people sell it.

00:21:01.730 --> 00:21:06.442
Okay, well, that's my day job, so, and then, how long did you end up so?

00:21:06.442 --> 00:21:07.667
That was a contract, and how long did you end up doing?

00:21:08.009 --> 00:21:08.089
that.

00:21:08.089 --> 00:21:10.198
That was, I think, about a year.

00:21:10.198 --> 00:21:17.166
The contract was and then I negotiated, we carried on the contract but they don't want to pay the company, so I worked with them directly.

00:21:17.166 --> 00:21:20.461
I maintained the relationship with the other company, so everything was fine.

00:21:20.461 --> 00:21:22.946
And then did that and then, yeah, I went into.

00:21:22.946 --> 00:21:25.232
I just I've stayed in sales training ever since.

00:21:25.232 --> 00:21:26.301
I've had my own business.

00:21:26.301 --> 00:21:27.986
I've worked in jobs.

00:21:27.986 --> 00:21:34.949
I've had my business, I've gone in, I've had a few very cool jobs over time where I've got to teach sales and that'd be like a full-time thing.

00:21:34.949 --> 00:21:43.502
And then, yeah, and they're like, but then I get itchy, I need to do something myself or something a bit bigger, and I get these entrepreneurial dreams.

00:21:43.502 --> 00:21:50.823
I do it for a bit and I'm like I'm get stuck in that whole owner operator mode to then take a role, but only if something cool comes up.

00:21:50.823 --> 00:21:52.329
I like to hang out with cool people.

00:21:52.329 --> 00:21:59.553
People don't challenge me, get to do some amazing things, change the world a little bit, disrupt stuff, that kind of thing I get it.

00:21:59.673 --> 00:22:00.035
I get it.

00:22:00.035 --> 00:22:04.008
For 22 years I was an it contractor.

00:22:04.008 --> 00:22:19.384
So basically I either I would be on a contract anywhere from three months to three years and then I'd move, and something else all brand new technology, brand new ways of doing things, totally new project management software and things like that Cause that's what an IT project manager.

00:22:19.384 --> 00:22:21.730
So I get that, and that's the reason why I stayed.

00:22:21.730 --> 00:22:24.586
Everybody was like, well, I don't, you should like go do W2 stuff, which I am now.

00:22:24.586 --> 00:22:25.307
And that's the reason why I stayed.

00:22:25.307 --> 00:22:27.133
Everybody was like, well, I don't, you should like go do w2 stuff, which I am now.

00:22:27.133 --> 00:22:27.894
But that's a different story.

00:22:27.894 --> 00:22:30.340
But yeah, I get that, I totally get.

00:22:30.340 --> 00:22:36.667
Then you get itchy, you want to do something else, and so, yeah, I completely understand that you and I seem to be on the same wavelength there.

00:22:36.667 --> 00:22:41.002
As far as type a personality, it's like, okay, all right, now I'm bored time to move on.

00:22:41.002 --> 00:22:50.787
So but something happened, what in like turned 40, I guess something happened, what you want to tell us a little bit about that.

00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:58.451
Yeah, so I guess COVID happened, but just before that we had a baby daughter.

00:22:58.451 --> 00:22:59.334
So I'm married.

00:22:59.334 --> 00:23:00.803
Now it's eight years from last week.

00:23:00.803 --> 00:23:04.251
So we had a little baby girl come around just before COVID.

00:23:04.251 --> 00:23:05.257
In fact, literally the day that COVID got announced we were just going to pay the years from last week.

00:23:05.257 --> 00:23:05.869
So we had a little baby girl come around just before covid.

00:23:05.869 --> 00:23:10.141
In fact, literally the day that covid got announced we were just gonna pay the nursery fees and then they went oh, we're closed.

00:23:10.141 --> 00:23:15.922
I was like I'll take that money back because they were doing refunds and yeah, and so life changed.

00:23:15.942 --> 00:23:20.371
Like I said, I was playing football amateur football in the uk up until then.

00:23:20.371 --> 00:23:26.451
Oh, me and the guys with me every sunday we do a train session during the week and we played every Sunday and literally COVID hit.

00:23:26.451 --> 00:23:30.280
It's like wow, and games stopped.

00:23:30.280 --> 00:23:33.636
You couldn't play, you couldn't hang out In England.

00:23:33.636 --> 00:23:36.148
You weren't more than six people together at a particular time.

00:23:36.148 --> 00:23:48.451
I can't remember what the rules were, but they were elaborate and not conducive to sport, but also I had a little baby girl there, and so life changed and I love it.

00:23:49.261 --> 00:23:50.002
There's something happened.

00:23:50.002 --> 00:23:55.394
I was 40 when we had lily and I still don't feel like I'm a grown-up.

00:23:55.394 --> 00:23:58.240
I don't know about you, but you know it's one of those things like what do you want to be when you grow up?

00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:05.075
I don't look like peter pan, but I still feel vastly inappropriately prepared for the rest of my life.

00:24:05.075 --> 00:24:07.548
But now you've got this kid and you're like, oh, my goodness, I've got to look after them.

00:24:07.548 --> 00:24:11.130
So I immediately fell in love with her and life changes.

00:24:11.130 --> 00:24:15.769
If you've had a kid, then I think you understand that kind of immediate shift.

00:24:15.769 --> 00:24:17.113
So I didn't.

00:24:17.500 --> 00:24:19.186
Previously my life was very selfish.

00:24:19.186 --> 00:24:25.650
I would spend my entire weekends playing football, thinking about football, preparing for football, taking my wife along weekends playing football, thinking about football, preparing for football, taking the wife along.

00:24:25.650 --> 00:24:28.943
She would watch football and that was the kind of wives club on the sidelines like what are they doing out there, being idiots?

00:24:28.943 --> 00:24:31.230
And so lily came along.

00:24:31.230 --> 00:24:34.825
It was off season anyway, and so I was like, okay, well, what am I gonna do?

00:24:34.825 --> 00:24:36.151
What am I gonna challenge myself with?

00:24:36.151 --> 00:24:40.547
And because I needed to have the competition, like you said, there's, there's something you've got to do.

00:24:40.547 --> 00:24:42.090
For me, football was a.

00:24:42.090 --> 00:24:48.693
It was a really good fitness thing, but it it was the mental battle, it was the challenges, competitiveness, it was all those elements, the camaraderie.

00:24:48.693 --> 00:24:58.107
And with that gone, I needed something else to channel myself into COVID or the gym shut, so really all you could do is go outside when you're allowed and run.

00:24:58.107 --> 00:24:59.601
So I thought, hey, you know what?

00:24:59.601 --> 00:25:01.226
I'm going to be an Ironman athlete.

00:25:02.009 --> 00:25:12.762
I tried to do it a few years back and I got injured so I 'd actually developed metatarsalgia so I bruised the bone on my foot there underneath the second toe I had to have.

00:25:12.762 --> 00:25:17.853
This was four weeks out from half ironman in austria and so I couldn't do it.

00:25:17.853 --> 00:25:21.930
I was so annoyed because I've been training, I've been running, I've been doing all this stuff.

00:25:21.930 --> 00:25:25.428
And then we actually had the holiday books and went to to Austria to see the course.

00:25:25.428 --> 00:25:34.150
I remember being at the course and going oh, just the ultimate disappointment of watching other people do the race that you're prepared for.

00:25:34.150 --> 00:25:37.203
That punched me in the face like real hard that.

00:25:37.203 --> 00:25:41.121
And I'd also invited my family and my wife's family to come and cheer me on.

00:25:41.121 --> 00:25:44.869
So we were all there and and it didn't happen.

00:25:44.869 --> 00:25:46.781
But we had a great time in austria, so that was fun.

00:25:46.781 --> 00:25:53.806
So I thought I'm gonna, I'm gonna get revenge like it's coming back vindication yeah, yeah, I've been there.

00:25:54.547 --> 00:25:55.307
I've been there.

00:25:55.307 --> 00:25:58.894
Yeah, I I just a quick, just quick, just ran.

00:25:58.894 --> 00:25:59.560
I want you to stop.

00:25:59.560 --> 00:26:06.913
I quick I was, I was getting ready to do, it was going to be my I think my sixth time doing Ironman Chattanooga 70.3.

00:26:06.913 --> 00:26:09.007
Love, the course was so excited.

00:26:09.007 --> 00:26:10.846
And we're leaving on Friday.

00:26:10.846 --> 00:26:18.933
Thursday we go out and we're doing just a quick little tune-up bike and I crash, leaving on Friday.

00:26:18.933 --> 00:26:24.571
So of course, my training buddy, she says, well, you should just come out and we'll go and you can cheer us on and stuff.

00:26:24.571 --> 00:26:29.463
I'm like nope, that will hurt, that will hurt a lot harder.

00:26:29.463 --> 00:26:31.169
So I get it, I totally get it.

00:26:31.570 --> 00:26:34.768
Yeah, I got a chance for revenge so I did.

00:26:34.768 --> 00:26:50.090
Yeah, so we did some running and then we actually, during COVID, we moved over here to Prague for a bit and over here is just living at the edge of the city so I've got woods and fields and stuff so I could go running and do that kind of thing and I've always had tight calf cramps.

00:26:50.090 --> 00:26:55.151
There's always been a thing, ever since I was playing the keyless, playing soccer I'll get calf cramp.

00:26:55.151 --> 00:26:56.582
And that's been the challenge I've had.

00:26:56.582 --> 00:27:01.362
It's even just stretching, all manipulation, all the fun stuff I always get calf cramp.

00:27:01.362 --> 00:27:12.945
And so actually endurance racing or endurance running I'm not going to say racing because I would imply competitiveness, which I'm definitely not, but competing and challenging yourself to go to distance, that's a big worry for me.

00:27:12.945 --> 00:27:17.042
For some reason it doesn't need to be anything, but it just goes.

00:27:17.042 --> 00:27:21.909
And then my calf goes and it could be after two minutes, it could be after two hours.

00:27:21.909 --> 00:27:24.126
So be careful, be careful, right.

00:27:24.126 --> 00:27:31.365
And we moved back both prior move back to england and got close.

00:27:31.385 --> 00:27:41.105
I was living in cheltenham, actually just again west, and I was running for two, two and a half hours over the hills and have the packs every weekend and I loved it, right, I actually really enjoyed going for a run in the countryside and then had the race booked.

00:27:41.105 --> 00:27:59.212
It was this half iron man, ironman near Oxford, and two weeks out I pulled a calf and I'm like, don't do this to me, like literally, and I'm like hobbling, and you know that's going to get okay by the race, but you can't push on it like it.

00:27:59.212 --> 00:28:04.568
And so I ended up getting to the race and I learned a few things about myself at the race.

00:28:04.568 --> 00:28:08.988
Number one is I don't like cold water, but the good news was it was early in the season.

00:28:08.988 --> 00:28:14.865
They actually cancelled the swim because the Thames was too cold and it was like this is going to be crazy.

00:28:14.865 --> 00:28:18.948
I was like yes, but we're going to add on five extra K of running.

00:28:18.948 --> 00:28:22.392
I'm like no, because I'm going to cap them.

00:28:22.392 --> 00:28:27.944
So I actually got the race photo of me and I look like I'm exhausted.

00:28:27.944 --> 00:28:30.069
It's actually in the opening straight, so I look terrible on my face.

00:28:30.470 --> 00:28:34.405
And then I did the bike and the bike had three loops of this course.

00:28:34.405 --> 00:28:38.162
There was a massive hill and I realized I do not like climbing hills.

00:28:38.162 --> 00:28:41.170
I managed to get to the top of it, coming down the other side.

00:28:41.170 --> 00:28:44.487
I was on the brakes and these people are going past me so fast.

00:28:44.487 --> 00:28:46.090
I like the skin on my body.

00:28:46.090 --> 00:28:47.988
I'm not brave enough to be on the bike.

00:28:47.988 --> 00:28:51.650
I'm also not good at refueling, which is one thing I noticed.

00:28:51.650 --> 00:28:54.683
I didn't drink very much or eat, so I got to the run.

00:28:54.683 --> 00:28:55.425
I'm like dead.

00:28:55.425 --> 00:28:56.529
Nothing left in my neck.

00:28:56.529 --> 00:29:00.089
Now I've got 20K with empty legs.

00:29:00.089 --> 00:29:08.041
The calf muscle is about that far away, and I just had legs.

00:29:08.041 --> 00:29:11.413
The calf muscles are about that far away and I just I have my phone with me and I just jogged, walk, jog, walk and I'll call people on the way.

00:29:11.413 --> 00:29:12.297
I'm like, hey, just keep company.

00:29:12.297 --> 00:29:13.923
For me it's the worst triathlete ever.

00:29:14.785 --> 00:29:20.863
I, for a period of maybe a few k, I was running along with this 60 year old woman and we were just chatting.

00:29:20.863 --> 00:29:22.365
She's oh yeah, what are, yeah, what are you doing?

00:29:22.365 --> 00:29:22.846
Blah, blah, blah.

00:29:22.846 --> 00:29:25.814
And I said oh yeah, how long have you been training for this?

00:29:25.814 --> 00:29:33.226
She said oh, I'm not really trained, I just turned up and that's heartbreaking, right, you're like I've trained really hard for it.

00:29:33.226 --> 00:29:34.665
And this 60-year-old lady's coming in.

00:29:34.665 --> 00:29:45.942
She says see, it just runs off into the distance and I get to the in the loop.

00:29:45.942 --> 00:29:47.950
You can see the people that, the people helping out there, what they call the marshals.

00:29:47.950 --> 00:29:48.412
Here's this guy again.

00:29:48.412 --> 00:29:48.993
Have you not finished yet?

00:29:48.993 --> 00:29:49.696
I'm like, nope, one more lap.

00:29:49.696 --> 00:29:51.746
They're trying to figure out when they're going to go home.

00:29:51.746 --> 00:29:53.816
Anyway, I eventually pull into there.

00:29:53.855 --> 00:30:00.340
The final of the race transition is down like there's a few fences and three bikes left and I pick your own medal up off the table.

00:30:00.340 --> 00:30:01.823
But I finished it.

00:30:01.823 --> 00:30:02.785
Right, it was that kind of thing.

00:30:02.785 --> 00:30:05.750
But I realized at the time I'm like this is I need something else.

00:30:05.750 --> 00:30:06.672
That is not endurance.

00:30:06.672 --> 00:30:13.067
It's not like I love it, but my body does not adapt well to it and I've always trained in the gym.

00:30:13.067 --> 00:30:16.178
I've always lifted to help me with sport.

00:30:16.178 --> 00:30:20.816
I really enjoyed throwing some heavy weights around and stuff that heavy, that heavy.

00:30:20.816 --> 00:30:22.501
But I could really enjoy the gym.

00:30:22.501 --> 00:30:30.087
And it got to this point where I'm like, okay, I need something to challenge me and maybe this is it.

00:30:30.087 --> 00:30:34.336
Maybe it's bodybuilding and my.

00:30:34.457 --> 00:30:43.575
So my brother, who's also my coach there he'd been a bodybuilder younger and I said I'm here, I'm thinking about this thing, like I'm thinking that I might try bodybuilding as my next challenge.

00:30:43.575 --> 00:30:44.477
Like what do you think?

00:30:44.477 --> 00:30:45.278
And he said don't do it.

00:30:45.278 --> 00:30:47.984
Since it's been there.

00:30:47.984 --> 00:30:48.826
It's horrible.

00:30:48.826 --> 00:30:50.317
We just go through all this pain.

00:30:50.317 --> 00:30:53.403
It's just an absolute mental battlefield.

00:30:53.403 --> 00:30:58.340
It's self like flagellation, it's all those things you've got put in so much stuff.

00:30:58.340 --> 00:30:58.983
Don't do it.

00:30:58.983 --> 00:31:03.643
But if you want to do it, then here's how we're going to do it.

00:31:03.643 --> 00:31:06.848
And yeah, so I looked into it.

00:31:06.848 --> 00:31:08.479
Now I he's he wasn't natural.

00:31:08.479 --> 00:31:12.635
He's taken some kind of chemical enhancements in the past, but I wanted to do it naturally.

00:31:12.635 --> 00:31:15.384
Never taken any performance enhancing drugs or anything.

00:31:15.384 --> 00:31:16.596
So I wanted to do that challenge.

00:31:17.037 --> 00:31:27.025
I'm masters, so I'm over 40, 44 now, which means there's not a huge amount of naturally available testosterone running around the body, so I'm never going to get massive and also bodybuilding's evolved now.

00:31:27.025 --> 00:31:28.701
So you don't just have these giant monsters.

00:31:28.701 --> 00:31:30.106
You have three classifications.

00:31:30.106 --> 00:31:37.675
You have open, you have classic physique, then you have this physique which is supposed to look natural and be like beach body fit.

00:31:37.675 --> 00:31:44.075
I can tell you from trying to pose like that, it's nothing natural about it, but I went for that classification.

00:31:44.075 --> 00:31:49.326
So I'm technically now a master's physique, athlete, bodybuilder.

00:31:50.167 --> 00:31:54.309
Nice, and did you end up winning right?

00:31:54.309 --> 00:31:55.500
Didn't you end up winning that one?

00:31:55.694 --> 00:32:03.118
I won one tournament, won one competition, a couple of second places I placed.

00:32:03.118 --> 00:32:09.759
I made it to the uk national finals or the international finals in my first year of competing.

00:32:09.759 --> 00:32:11.184
So I've done all right.

00:32:11.184 --> 00:32:11.946
I don't know.

00:32:11.946 --> 00:32:13.814
A couple of seconds, yeah all right.

00:32:14.414 --> 00:32:17.479
So everybody, just so, and I'll, if I can think.

00:32:17.479 --> 00:32:19.141
Well, I'm definitely going to use this picture.

00:32:19.141 --> 00:32:28.391
But if you go onto Dan's website, danstorycom, and go to the about section, you'll see a picture of him in one of his, in one of his competitions.

00:32:28.391 --> 00:32:34.432
Yeah, and they get to pose in in board shorts.

00:32:34.432 --> 00:32:35.375
I get to wear board shorts.

00:32:35.375 --> 00:32:36.356
They don't have to.

00:32:36.597 --> 00:32:50.214
They don't have to wear their little things, the little hammock yeah, that would not be pleasant for anyone if I was wearing, I don't know, some stories in a minute of all the kind of crazy stuff that goes on behind the scenes.

00:32:50.335 --> 00:33:01.824
But yeah, I'll save it to shorts well, I know and I know no, I'm not even gonna say that but I don't know, I think you might be underestimating yourself, because I'm just looking at your legs and your arms.

00:33:01.824 --> 00:33:02.826
I mean, everything is.

00:33:02.826 --> 00:33:07.960
He's cut, it's so, it's symmetrical, he looks good.

00:33:07.960 --> 00:33:08.981
So you guys gotta see this.

00:33:08.981 --> 00:33:14.723
I will post this one out there just so in the show notes, just so you can see what he did, because it's pretty amazing and he was.

00:33:14.723 --> 00:33:17.557
You said we're 41 at the time 40 I think, I think that one.

00:33:17.577 --> 00:33:19.619
I'm 42, maybe 43.

00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:20.500
42.

00:33:20.500 --> 00:33:23.483
Yeah, you guys all got to see this so definitely.

00:33:23.483 --> 00:33:26.586
But that's amazing, that's amazing, so all right.

00:33:26.586 --> 00:33:43.256
So your coach brother said, okay, well, this is going to be a horrible, but if you want, to do it.

00:33:43.276 --> 00:33:44.881
What did you learn about yourself while you were in the gym and you're going?

00:33:44.881 --> 00:33:48.611
I'm assume that you went a little bit harder, a little bit more strategic than you did when you were doing it for fitness and for football, yeah, so let's go back a little bit.

00:33:48.611 --> 00:33:54.288
The reason I set this goal for myself was, I guess, after the running and the kind of iron man, I lost a bit of challenge and you need a bit of focus.

00:33:54.288 --> 00:33:55.376
Right, there's nothing to train for.

00:33:55.376 --> 00:33:57.941
And we went down to the beach in england.

00:33:57.941 --> 00:34:07.976
It's not really a beach, it's like some fake sand that people have probably imported from somewhere nice, and but it was a hot day and we're there and it's with a family, and someone took a photo of my mom or something.

00:34:07.976 --> 00:34:09.679
It was just me.

00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:20.585
I just looked very I could I say average, like okay, some, some musculature, but there was no definition it was, and I looked it and I don't know for some reason it was that kind of tipped me off.

00:34:20.585 --> 00:34:24.101
I'm like that looks like a whole bunch of excuses and I don't know.

00:34:24.101 --> 00:34:25.344
It was just something that got to me.

00:34:25.344 --> 00:34:37.447
It's like you talk about challenging yourself, you talk about being at your best and yet this is what you look like and I know something just kicked in and that was what the kind of the challenge was.

00:34:38.391 --> 00:34:43.606
So then I spoke to my brother thinking about being a bodybuilder and he said, all right, here's what you got to expect.

00:34:43.606 --> 00:34:49.635
And we talked a little bit about it and the gym that I was at, the the owner of the gym and the trainer there.

00:34:49.635 --> 00:35:00.036
He's a former mr olympia competitor from like the 90s, a guy called lee powell, very cool guy, but he competed back in the day, and so I had a couple of conversations on it.

00:35:00.036 --> 00:35:01.059
What's it going to be like?

00:35:01.059 --> 00:35:09.456
And he said there's two really hard points is the point where you start like the first three weeks of your competition prep and then there's the last three weeks.

00:35:09.456 --> 00:35:26.719
So the first three weeks is you've got to make that adjustment from hey, this is me as normal person to this is me as this crazy obsessed bodybuilder and I use the word obsessed because it looks like an obsession to our side like it can do, especially with the food and all of the kind of preparation aspects that go into it.

00:35:26.719 --> 00:35:34.623
Um, and then at the end it's just that's all you can think about, to the point where no holidays, no change of routine.

00:35:34.623 --> 00:35:39.384
It's just purely like don't do anything different because your body's just going to go.

00:35:39.554 --> 00:35:49.309
So there was a question mark before I started because I we were talking about one of your clients about how she dropped like half her body weight.

00:35:49.309 --> 00:35:49.769
It's crazy.

00:35:49.769 --> 00:35:53.963
So for years I've had this goal of being under 10% body fat.

00:35:53.963 --> 00:35:58.284
I wrote it down I'd be at 20, 16, under 10% or 20, 17.

00:35:58.284 --> 00:36:01.838
It never happened.

00:36:01.838 --> 00:36:02.280
It never materialized.

00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:04.889
I could get close and then I'd not measure it and there wasn't really.

00:36:04.889 --> 00:36:06.675
There was no enjoyment factor to that.

00:36:06.675 --> 00:36:10.186
So this was a different goal.

00:36:10.186 --> 00:36:15.260
Right, it's going to be step on stage and challenge yourself to be a physique bodybuilder.

00:36:15.260 --> 00:36:16.764
You're going to have to below 10.

00:36:16.764 --> 00:36:18.628
You're gonna have to get way below 10.

00:36:18.628 --> 00:36:22.344
I don't know where I was at the end of it zero clue.

00:36:22.844 --> 00:36:23.867
What did I learn about myself?

00:36:23.867 --> 00:36:27.963
So the first part was the question mark was around.

00:36:27.963 --> 00:36:29.827
Discipline is did I have the discipline?

00:36:29.827 --> 00:36:31.818
I knew I could train like?

00:36:31.818 --> 00:36:37.579
I knew I could lift weights, I could do all the kind of like the things I need to do in gym, but did I have the discipline?

00:36:37.579 --> 00:36:45.039
That was a good question was because I I hadn't done anything significant for, like I do things, I would show up and I'd do my best at that moment.

00:36:45.079 --> 00:36:46.081
But discipline is different.

00:36:46.081 --> 00:36:48.947
Right, motivation is comes and goes.

00:36:48.947 --> 00:36:51.601
It's like in waves oh I feel great today, I'm gonna go to the gym.

00:36:51.601 --> 00:36:56.081
And discipline says I don't care if you motivate, you're going to the gym.

00:36:56.081 --> 00:36:58.891
And there's I remember seeing a kobe bryant video.

00:36:58.891 --> 00:37:03.614
He talks about discipline and he says my training routine was set at the beginning of the season.

00:37:03.614 --> 00:37:07.164
Like this is my training routine, this is what I've agreed to and I signed.

00:37:07.164 --> 00:37:07.847
It's like this is it?

00:37:07.847 --> 00:37:09.840
I'm not negotiating myself.

00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:11.403
Later on there's that kind of mindset.

00:37:11.403 --> 00:37:13.054
It's like do I want to go to the gym?

00:37:13.054 --> 00:37:18.025
And a lot of people go, well, you've had a long day and tired or this is happening.

00:37:18.025 --> 00:37:29.463
So many excuses come up and discipline says I don't care about your excuses, you're going to go and do it and if you need to move stuff around, find a way, then find a way.

00:37:29.463 --> 00:37:31.047
But that was the challenge.

00:37:31.094 --> 00:37:35.244
So for me, discipline was a fun one and I think discipline applies in so many areas.

00:37:35.244 --> 00:37:40.898
It applied in the gym and I remember I even took little videos of this.

00:37:40.898 --> 00:37:41.338
This is weird thing.

00:37:41.338 --> 00:37:41.900
I used these one day.

00:37:41.900 --> 00:37:42.420
Never used it.

00:37:42.420 --> 00:37:48.201
I videoed my feet walking a lot the gym to the gym every morning, like I could walk to the gym.

00:37:48.201 --> 00:37:51.277
It was fairly close and I'd put videos of my feet on in.

00:37:51.277 --> 00:37:51.737
It was dark.

00:37:51.757 --> 00:37:53.864
Because I train in the morning, I train at night.

00:37:53.864 --> 00:38:02.867
I'd wake up at five o'clock in the morning and I go to gym before like family and I, and I wake up at five o'clock in the morning and I'd go to the gym before family and then I'd wake up at four am because that's how our routine fits.

00:38:02.867 --> 00:38:07.244
I have to wake up at four If I want to do it, I have to sacrifice that sleep aspect.

00:38:07.244 --> 00:38:11.639
But discipline was one, discipline was a big one, it turns out.

00:38:11.639 --> 00:38:13.945
Discipline is actually quite easy to develop.

00:38:13.945 --> 00:38:15.498
You just go and do it.

00:38:15.498 --> 00:38:20.876
But getting over that excuse, mentality and stuff like that's the hard part.

00:38:20.876 --> 00:38:28.117
And I don't know for me, if I go in the evening, if I try and train in the evening, that voice gets seriously loud.

00:38:28.117 --> 00:38:29.762
Come home, you finish work.

00:38:29.762 --> 00:38:31.726
Hey, why don't you just have a coffee?

00:38:31.726 --> 00:38:33.159
Or hey, can I have a glass of wine?

00:38:33.159 --> 00:38:34.164
Like, how about?

00:38:34.164 --> 00:38:34.585
You know that?

00:38:34.626 --> 00:38:39.023
that's what it's like it's there where's that voice come from all the time?

00:38:39.023 --> 00:38:44.577
So now I find, if I wake up in the morning, just get out of the way, I can go home and I can do all those kind of crazy.

00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:45.320
Yep.

00:38:45.860 --> 00:38:46.382
Can't get me.

00:38:46.382 --> 00:38:46.983
I'm untouchable.

00:38:48.746 --> 00:38:49.367
So that was the thing.

00:38:49.367 --> 00:38:50.789
Still like that, still like that.

00:38:50.789 --> 00:38:58.137
I still wake up at 4 am and I get my workout out in the morning, out on in the morning.

00:38:58.137 --> 00:38:59.360
No matter what I've ridden, I've got lights on the bike.

00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:00.344
If I've got a bike workout, I'm on, I got lights.

00:39:00.344 --> 00:39:05.496
I'm like nope, you're, I gotta get it done in the morning because you're absolutely right after full days of work then you come home and you're like you just don't want to do it.

00:39:05.496 --> 00:39:09.409
But for me, the real piece, the gym's the easy part, the gym's the easy part.

00:39:09.489 --> 00:39:20.548
Yeah, okay, the kitchen is where it all happens, and I love the kitchen, I love cooking, I love food, I love chocolate, I love so many foods.

00:39:20.548 --> 00:39:21.655
This is so bad.

00:39:21.655 --> 00:39:27.418
I obviously have a little girl and I have daddy duty, which is basically eat everything that's left on her plate.

00:39:27.418 --> 00:39:29.141
So just go away that kind of thing.

00:39:29.141 --> 00:39:36.202
Now, every friday, we go to the cake shop after school so we take it there and it's like cakes also so good.

00:39:37.324 --> 00:39:41.016
So the question is discipline with food, because that's the biggest part.

00:39:41.016 --> 00:39:43.728
Right, and it's not difficult science.

00:39:43.728 --> 00:39:51.436
It's you need to have if you're going to lose weight is fewer calories in than go out, and you do that by either reducing calories or increasing output.

00:39:51.436 --> 00:39:58.769
There's only two ways, very simplistic, but that means you've got to cut back, and my wife would always look at me.

00:39:58.769 --> 00:39:59.614
She said, oh, you eat a lot.

00:39:59.614 --> 00:40:00.215
I'm like, do I?

00:40:00.215 --> 00:40:17.061
This is back beforehand and I got some scales and I started weighing food and for I dieted for my first shot about 14 months and I think every meal I weighed, almost every meal I weighed and I'd like 30 grams of oats.

00:40:17.061 --> 00:40:18.445
I was 32 grams.

00:40:18.445 --> 00:40:19.606
I'll put a few oats back.

00:40:19.648 --> 00:40:22.461
It was like it was obsessed, again obsessive, my wife.

00:40:22.461 --> 00:40:34.603
We didn't eat the same food for most meals, but I learned what a portion was and that was really interesting is I was overeating on every meal and again, you only have to overeat a little bit and just gradually increase your weight.

00:40:34.603 --> 00:40:37.097
Then that was what was happening.

00:40:37.097 --> 00:40:43.505
And so actually changing the men, changing the discipline around food, was not necessarily about cooking a different eat.

00:40:43.505 --> 00:40:50.137
I turned to leaner foods, I introduced a few more vegetables and stuff wasn't the problem, but it was portion size.

00:40:50.137 --> 00:40:52.206
That was the really interesting thing.

00:40:52.206 --> 00:41:04.597
So measuring through cooking food and trying to be interesting in the way I cook food without trying to feel like I missed out too much, because family meal time is really interesting and like happy and it's a good place for us all to bond.

00:41:04.597 --> 00:41:09.579
So I try and cook two meals or something about the same time one for them, one for me and still eat at the same time.

00:41:09.579 --> 00:41:11.184
So that was the hard part.

00:41:11.184 --> 00:41:11.445
That was.

00:41:11.525 --> 00:41:27.143
One of the hardest parts of discipline for me was the kitchen so you reminded me of a quote from none other than Mike Tyson Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but do it like you love it.

00:41:27.143 --> 00:41:29.956
Yeah, so that's both things right?

00:41:29.956 --> 00:41:31.699
That's both things, is you All right?

00:41:31.699 --> 00:41:37.400
So you go to the gym and if you don't want to do it that day, you just go in there and you act like you want to do it that day.

00:41:37.400 --> 00:41:39.583
It's almost like fake it till you make it right.

00:41:39.583 --> 00:41:47.992
If you you you're cooking for your family and you got to cook something yourself to be that's leaner, less calories, you do it like you love it.

00:41:47.992 --> 00:42:04.699
No, I love cooking for you and I love cooking for me, no matter how bland or how much smaller it is than yours it's like here's your pizza and here's my boiled broccoli and some tuna which is dry as heck.

00:42:04.900 --> 00:42:08.547
I'm all like no, you guys carry on oh no, I loved it.

00:42:08.588 --> 00:42:09.148
This is great.

00:42:09.148 --> 00:42:10.217
This is fantastic.

00:42:10.217 --> 00:42:22.418
Did you, were you able to incorporate any nlp while you were like, did you go back into your nlp brain to like help you out with this challenge, and what did you do?

00:42:23.121 --> 00:42:27.815
so I think the biggest one is for me as imagery and visualization.

00:42:27.815 --> 00:42:34.744
I had to see myself as something different to who I was.

00:42:34.744 --> 00:42:43.181
So anytime you set a big goal, like if I imagine myself as a bodybuilder, like, my immediate reaction is, yeah, but you're not either.

00:42:43.181 --> 00:42:46.007
You haven't even been on stage yet.

00:42:46.007 --> 00:42:48.822
Now I can relax and say a little bit more culturally.

00:42:48.822 --> 00:42:56.304
Before that first instance of stepping on stage, there was massive imposter syndrome and I had to keep visualizing this.

00:42:56.385 --> 00:43:13.967
I had this metaphor in my head of I call myself a motivational athlete, and so I use the athleticism, I use the physical challenge of bodybuilding to motivate and help people understand their own mindset better.

00:43:13.967 --> 00:43:18.762
That's for me, and so one of the things I would do is hold that in my head.

00:43:18.762 --> 00:43:20.902
I was like what would a motivational athlete do?

00:43:20.902 --> 00:43:21.505
What would I do?

00:43:21.505 --> 00:43:26.900
And so I'd act as if or visualize that kind of call it an avatar or archetype.

00:43:26.900 --> 00:43:28.684
How would that person act?

00:43:28.684 --> 00:43:36.996
And many times when I didn't want to do things, I had to think about that and visualize that person and who that person was going to be.

00:43:36.996 --> 00:43:40.226
I did things like vision boarding at the beginning.

00:43:40.226 --> 00:43:51.704
I went onto the internet and I looked at all of these physiques that I admire, and I remember creating a little digital vision board and had that on my screen and I'd look at it a couple times a day and all those kind of nerdy things.

00:43:51.704 --> 00:43:57.057
But visualization works because you've got to close that gap between your old identity and your new identity.

00:43:57.318 --> 00:44:03.856
And if you look at how we're wired and we talked a little bit about this is like mental shortcuts, right, mental shortcuts.

00:44:03.856 --> 00:44:08.489
So our brain is very good at becoming efficient.

00:44:08.489 --> 00:44:14.929
If you ask it to do something over and over again, it's like yep, and I'm going to find the easiest way to do this.

00:44:14.929 --> 00:44:16.876
We think about your cycle, right?

00:44:16.876 --> 00:44:26.356
So if you think about, it's like you have your cadence and you have your bike position and if you get into that position, that cadence, you can go forever.

00:44:26.356 --> 00:44:33.717
But if I drop the saddle by two inches or ask you to increase the cadence by 10 bpm, what happens?

00:44:33.717 --> 00:44:35.123
All of a sudden?

00:44:35.123 --> 00:44:37.349
It's like it doesn't feel right and I don't like it.

00:44:37.349 --> 00:44:37.952
And now I have to work harder.

00:44:37.952 --> 00:44:38.675
We have to work harder.

00:44:38.675 --> 00:44:42.784
We have to, because we lose efficiency, become very efficient, and this is the same with a brain.

00:44:42.784 --> 00:44:49.056
So if you think about how many years you've been doing something and then you try and set this goal to do something else.

00:44:49.056 --> 00:44:55.621
You're fighting against all of that wiring and so you've got to expect there's going to be some fight back.

00:44:55.621 --> 00:45:01.503
It's going to try and drag you down, excuses and worry and doubt and insecurity and all those kind of things.

00:45:02.407 --> 00:45:05.695
And I remember actually I did a sales presentation.

00:45:05.695 --> 00:45:09.445
It was at a conference and this is before I'd done my first show.

00:45:09.445 --> 00:45:15.445
There's oh, my name is dan, here's this book that I've written and blah blah, and here's why I'm so great.

00:45:15.445 --> 00:45:18.579
You know it's weird by which we have to introduce yourself.

00:45:18.579 --> 00:45:19.280
It always feels weird.

00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:25.880
Thank you for introducing me so well is an sl and I'm a bodybuilder as well, and I put this training photo of it.

00:45:25.880 --> 00:45:31.623
I was like I was inside, I was cringing, my voice was like you're not a bodybuilder, you know.

00:45:31.623 --> 00:45:32.346
You got to go through it.

00:45:32.346 --> 00:45:35.798
You got to go through that whole imposter syndrome thing.

00:45:35.798 --> 00:45:40.458
If you're ever going to get to the other side, there's a million reasons why you should doubt yourself.

00:45:40.458 --> 00:45:49.590
Just kind of keep persisting through and to think that other people don't have that insecurity and diet is crazy yeah, I get it, I get it.

00:45:49.650 --> 00:46:09.054
My before I started coaching I had done one olympic, I had done one half ironman and I was getting ready to do my first Ironman, and in between was a Chicago marathon and I had a team and we were all raising money for the polycystic kidney disease foundation.

00:46:09.054 --> 00:46:25.659
So I had 20 people that were going with me and there's this one woman who was 53 and she had just done the France marathon or Nice or something, and she did it in four hours, five hours and 25 minutes.

00:46:25.659 --> 00:46:31.516
But I wasn't going to be racing this marathon because three weeks later I'm doing Ironman.

00:46:31.516 --> 00:46:36.679
So I already decided that no, I'm going to take it easy, I'm just going to let my legs do what they're going to do, and blah, blah, blah.

00:46:36.679 --> 00:46:49.039
So I took this woman her name was Karen, she's 53 years old and I said, karen, I says you're with me, we're going to, we're going to have a strategy and we're going to get through it together, because I think you've got more than what you know you've got or what you think you have.

00:46:49.039 --> 00:46:59.672
So we ran the whole thing and she had a little bit of the discomfort, comfort, but I'll never forget it was 23, 24 miles, she goes.

00:46:59.672 --> 00:47:00.112
Okay.

00:47:00.353 --> 00:47:06.648
Now my knees are starting to feel bad and I'm like, yeah, you're at 24 miles, but you can do anything for 2.2 miles.

00:47:06.648 --> 00:47:08.378
And she goes, hell yeah.

00:47:08.378 --> 00:47:10.143
And I'm like that's what I want to hear.

00:47:10.143 --> 00:47:14.052
So we crossed arm and arm at 432.

00:47:14.052 --> 00:47:17.282
That's awesome 50 minutes.

00:47:17.282 --> 00:47:19.188
So she's all crazy.

00:47:19.188 --> 00:47:20.193
And she's going crazy.

00:47:20.193 --> 00:47:21.836
And her friend comes up to me and she goes.

00:47:21.836 --> 00:47:22.338
You know what?

00:47:22.338 --> 00:47:24.623
She's on cloud nine.

00:47:24.623 --> 00:47:26.768
I think you should coach.

00:47:26.768 --> 00:47:30.382
And I'm like, but I don't have any credits.

00:47:30.382 --> 00:47:39.878
I got a couple of marathons and a couple of this and that, and he goes, she goes, but next month you will, and yeah, and that was the starting of it, but it was the same thing.

00:47:39.878 --> 00:47:42.519
But that and that's the first thing that I thought of, I don't have any credits.

00:47:42.519 --> 00:47:44.327
What could I possibly give to people?

00:47:44.327 --> 00:47:45.735
And that was imposter syndrome.

00:47:45.735 --> 00:47:49.322
It's the absolute epitome of imposter syndrome.

00:47:49.903 --> 00:47:53.356
And so right after I got done with the Ironman, I got through the.

00:47:53.356 --> 00:47:54.838
I got through the Ironman blues.

00:47:54.838 --> 00:47:55.619
We can talk about that.

00:47:55.619 --> 00:47:59.304
I just started talking to people about coaching.

00:47:59.304 --> 00:48:00.505
I'd never like put any.

00:48:00.505 --> 00:48:03.889
I didn't put a website up, I just said, hey, you know what, if you want me to help, I can help.

00:48:08.135 --> 00:48:10.802
Before you knew it, I had two running stores that I was running clinics out of, and then those would then came into.

00:48:10.802 --> 00:48:11.565
Oh, I love what you're doing.

00:48:11.565 --> 00:48:13.090
Do you do private?

00:48:13.090 --> 00:48:14.476
Can you help me train for this race?

00:48:14.476 --> 00:48:16.440
And then it's just from there.

00:48:16.440 --> 00:48:17.001
It just came out.

00:48:17.001 --> 00:48:20.184
But, yeah, absolute epitome of imposter syndrome.

00:48:20.184 --> 00:48:32.164
But if you can, if you've gone out and you've done the research, you've experienced it at least a half a dozen times something and you've got something to show for it and you've got you feel like you've got a good amount of knowledge.

00:48:32.164 --> 00:48:39.896
You're going to continue to grow, right, but you can't let that imposter syndrome keep you from something that you really want to do.

00:48:39.896 --> 00:48:50.639
If you really want to coach, if you really want to write a book, if you really want to do something, you can't let that, that imposter syndrome, that feeling like you're inadequate, keep you from doing it.

00:48:50.639 --> 00:48:52.463
So yeah, I admire you on that point.

00:48:52.503 --> 00:49:05.440
That was great I've looked into imposter syndrome quite a lot since um and the science says there's about 70 percent of people will experience imposter syndrome, especially in a kind of business space or something like that, where you don't work.

00:49:05.440 --> 00:49:07.632
It's the biggest base for imposter syndrome at all.

00:49:07.632 --> 00:49:11.231
I think we're going to get found out or something along those lines, but it's interesting.

00:49:11.231 --> 00:49:13.797
It's like it's a really interesting topic and for me it was.

00:49:13.797 --> 00:49:15.000
It was one of those moments.

00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:23.599
Actually, I remember it was one I think it was most of it a morning, but I was in the bathroom when I got stepping on the scales and all this thing you have to do, the daily weigh-in stuff.

00:49:23.599 --> 00:49:29.240
What daily way is horrible, like I'd like to do a weekly one, but then he's scared to get on me, like I don't remember doing my way.

00:49:29.300 --> 00:49:44.556
And just I caught a glimpse of myself, because you try and take as many clothes off as possible to influence the scales, yeah, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I remember it's the first time I saw myself as a bodyguard I'm a holy two sack like and there was a visual recognition of the work that I put in.

00:49:44.556 --> 00:49:45.900
That was a cool.

00:49:45.900 --> 00:49:58.641
That was a cool reinforcement moment is that one point where you're like, oh okay, oh, maybe this is going the way it wants to go and there are going to be moments along the journey like that remind you that it's going to be okay.

00:49:58.641 --> 00:50:03.456
But there's going to be a lot of times when it feels like a long way away and you just got to keep putting in the work.

00:50:03.456 --> 00:50:05.280
Or keep putting in the work like right now, what?

00:50:05.481 --> 00:50:09.878
It's mid-july, my next show is end of september.

00:50:09.878 --> 00:50:12.684
That's a tentative right, that's what that's.

00:50:12.684 --> 00:50:27.942
Nine weeks away, I'm like I'm a long way away from where I want to be, but in nine weeks I can do a whole bunch of stuff in terms of diet, so that's interesting yeah, and that's what a lot of people try and do is they try and do everything immediately and they don't spread it out over time?

00:50:27.961 --> 00:50:40.545
right, we have, yeah, we have this, we have the entitlement, yeah, kind of this Gratification, this gratification that we want.

00:50:40.545 --> 00:50:45.590
And so there's a lot of people out there yeah, if they don't see results right away, they're like good Is it?

00:50:45.590 --> 00:51:00.755
Yeah, I see that bit.

00:51:00.775 --> 00:51:01.538
But the idea of child genius is flawed.

00:51:01.538 --> 00:51:14.927
So we all think child genius, think people like mozart, picasso and those kind of people who, just you know, picasso was born with a paintbrush and was able to paint these amazing things, or mozart fell out and just was able to play the harpsichord or whatever it was, and actually, what you look at the their history is from a very early age.

00:51:14.927 --> 00:51:20.688
Like, mozart was a kid, he was like two years and he had a sister who was a couple of years older than him.

00:51:20.688 --> 00:51:40.418
She had harpsichord lessons that she was learning and his dad was a musician, right, and so he grew up in his musical family watching his sister have these lessons and so very naturally grew into it and then had access to all these amazing teachers and trainers and, like the dad was a little bit like pushing on him.

00:51:40.418 --> 00:51:42.786
Same with picasso you're going to learn to paint.

00:51:42.786 --> 00:51:44.521
You can learn all these times anyway.

00:51:44.521 --> 00:51:48.034
So you think child genius is the same, that's genetically gifted.

00:51:48.577 --> 00:51:54.697
There's a guy called lazlo polgar and this is one of the things that I love and a number of years ago he's had this idea.

00:51:54.697 --> 00:51:56.340
It's like can we raise a genius?

00:51:56.340 --> 00:51:59.143
Is there such a thing as child genius or can we raise a genius?

00:51:59.143 --> 00:52:03.536
And so it's just before the internet, in skype, when I said, hey, I've got this theory, like I want to have a.

00:52:03.536 --> 00:52:07.715
Find a wife who wants to raise some kids and see if we could turn them into geniuses.

00:52:07.715 --> 00:52:13.376
Anyway, find some wife from miller which says, yes, I would like to be involved in this science experiment.

00:52:13.376 --> 00:52:15.840
And they have three girls, right, three girls.

00:52:15.840 --> 00:52:23.831
And he says, right, from a very early age we're going to teach them math, science, language, all of these things that they're kind of academic side.

00:52:23.831 --> 00:52:29.650
We're going to push it very early on them and then later on, we're going to teach them chess.

00:52:29.650 --> 00:52:38.503
Okay, and chess apparently, is something that you can quantify and measure very accurately in terms of world rankings and stuff like that, even from a very early age.

00:52:38.503 --> 00:52:46.539
And so these girls had access to best teaching, best training, with this idea that we're going to try to raise some geniuses.

00:52:46.539 --> 00:52:48.025
So he gives them amazing teachers.

00:52:48.085 --> 00:52:53.543
And here again, laszlo pogod had written some books on chess and maths and stuff like this, so he's a very smart guy himself.

00:52:53.543 --> 00:52:56.617
Anyway, let's cut to the end of the story.

00:52:56.617 --> 00:52:57.659
What happened?

00:52:57.659 --> 00:53:08.157
Well, three daughters the first one, judith polk, are not in age order, but she is the acknowledged as the best female chess player to ever existed.

00:53:08.157 --> 00:53:19.007
One of the sisters, the other sister, second best female chess player to ever existed and the third one only ever really represented hungary at the olympics.

00:53:19.007 --> 00:53:23.005
Oh my god, this again.

00:53:23.005 --> 00:53:23.967
So come back to your point.

00:53:24.309 --> 00:53:35.947
A lot of people, they have this entitlement thing that I'll try a couple of times and if I'm not good at it, that means I'm probably good at something else, so I should go and do that, whereas actually it's persistence and it's the 10 000 hours.

00:53:35.947 --> 00:53:38.081
Idea is that we need to stick at something.

00:53:38.081 --> 00:53:42.061
And seth godin wrote a book called the dip.

00:53:42.061 --> 00:53:43.864
I love seth godin for so many reasons.

00:53:43.864 --> 00:53:52.885
He he says that the dip is this point where, like it starts off nice and easy, right, everything's good, and like go for a bike ride, I love riding, it's amazing.

00:53:52.885 --> 00:54:07.027
And then it's I'm going the same speed and I don't like the cold, and now it's getting harder and I want to do a race, but I'm not getting any further, and then I have a fall and everything gets really horrible and you end up in this dip where everything sucks and that's the point where people quit.

00:54:07.027 --> 00:54:08.318
A lot of people are don't like it.

00:54:08.318 --> 00:54:11.375
And what Seth Godin says, actually, what's on the other side of the dip?

00:54:11.375 --> 00:54:13.659
Is it something that's worth having like?

00:54:13.659 --> 00:54:15.282
Is that where everything is?

00:54:15.282 --> 00:54:17.726
And so he says don't, don't avoid the dip.

00:54:17.726 --> 00:54:21.704
The dip is natural, the dip is something that everyone's going to come up with.

00:54:21.704 --> 00:54:25.719
Don't quit in the dip, go past the dip or quit before the dip.

00:54:25.719 --> 00:54:28.039
Just don't even get to the dip.

00:54:28.039 --> 00:54:28.661
There's no point.

00:54:28.661 --> 00:54:29.563
You're not going to carry on.

00:54:29.563 --> 00:54:30.206
Just don't do it.

00:54:30.206 --> 00:54:35.402
And I think that's what a lot of people face is they get to that point where it's going to be hard for everyone.

00:54:35.402 --> 00:54:41.945
Like in every journey of challenge and success and anything along those lines, there's going to be a point where it sucks.

00:54:41.945 --> 00:54:47.300
This sucks, and I remember one conversation this happened.

00:54:47.561 --> 00:54:48.443
It was at my mom's house.

00:54:48.443 --> 00:54:51.036
I was tired, it was the afternoon, it was like five, six o'clock.

00:54:51.036 --> 00:54:58.440
I'd done a workout in the morning, I was on two a days, and so I had to go back to the gym in the evening and I was there at home and my wife was there.

00:54:58.440 --> 00:55:07.742
My mom was probably cooking some food which I wasn't going to be able to eat and I was just sat on a chair and I was exhausted I was, I couldn't move, I could barely speak.

00:55:07.742 --> 00:55:14.003
And my wife said to me she said why don't you just not go to the gym tonight?

00:55:14.987 --> 00:55:16.831
And my wife has been very supportive.

00:55:16.831 --> 00:55:22.889
She doesn't quite understand it still, she thinks I'm a little bit mad, um, but you know that's, that's a line you play with.

00:55:22.889 --> 00:55:23.813
And she said that.

00:55:23.813 --> 00:55:25.318
She said why don't you just not go tonight?

00:55:25.318 --> 00:55:35.916
And I looked to her and I didn't have the energy to reply and luckily my brother was there and he stepped in, said something probably profaned, I'll try to remember it and he said something.

00:55:35.956 --> 00:55:45.998
He says something along the lines of sometimes it's not about going to make yourself better, sometimes it's about going so you don't go backwards yeah, keeping a promise to yourself and like that.

00:55:45.998 --> 00:55:46.300
That.

00:55:46.300 --> 00:55:47.422
It was that mentality.

00:55:47.422 --> 00:55:50.318
I knew the workout that I did was going to be terrible.

00:55:50.318 --> 00:55:53.545
It doesn't matter how much pre-workout or anything.

00:55:53.545 --> 00:55:55.215
If you are that tired.

00:55:55.215 --> 00:56:00.628
It's not about maximizing performance, it's just about that commitment.

00:56:00.628 --> 00:56:12.902
And this is the one thing of competitions when you step on stage, confidence comes from knowing you've kept all those commitments and doubt comes from, hey, what have I done that?

00:56:12.902 --> 00:56:17.606
And that is nice to be able to step on stage and feel confident.

00:56:19.539 --> 00:56:20.346
I get that.

00:56:20.346 --> 00:56:20.690
I get that.

00:56:20.690 --> 00:56:21.153
I get that.

00:56:21.153 --> 00:56:23.318
I can't remember the first.

00:56:23.318 --> 00:56:27.969
I don't know the first one-y triathlons I did.

00:56:28.556 --> 00:56:29.980
I cause I'm not a great swimmer either.

00:56:29.980 --> 00:56:36.742
I can get there, I'm not fast and then I just make it up on the bike and run and I just don't like it.

00:56:36.742 --> 00:56:45.981
And there's so many times you're halfway through the swim and you're like going.

00:56:45.981 --> 00:56:46.583
What the heck am I doing here?

00:56:46.583 --> 00:56:46.864
Why am I here?

00:56:46.864 --> 00:56:47.487
I says everybody's passing me.

00:56:47.487 --> 00:56:49.074
I don't even know what makes me think that I'm good enough to be in this water.

00:56:49.074 --> 00:56:50.297
You know what I mean and you're just like.

00:56:50.297 --> 00:56:53.228
But then my other head kicks in and goes minus.

00:56:53.228 --> 00:56:56.358
You haven't quit a goddamn thing in your whole life.

00:56:56.358 --> 00:56:58.965
Why do you think you're gonna quit now?

00:56:58.965 --> 00:57:02.043
And then it just keeps going and then that's a nanosecond.

00:57:02.043 --> 00:57:03.065
Literally it's a nanosecond.

00:57:03.065 --> 00:57:06.844
It's like this but yeah, I get it, and so you.

00:57:06.844 --> 00:57:08.911
It's the same thing yesterday I did.

00:57:08.911 --> 00:57:14.581
It was four hours and 45 minutes on the bike, so hot, and then we started at six.

00:57:14.581 --> 00:57:15.862
So here it it is.

00:57:15.862 --> 00:57:19.429
It's going to be like 1030 and it's 97 degrees outside.

00:57:20.010 --> 00:57:22.543
Yeah, and I was no, it was about four hours in.

00:57:22.543 --> 00:57:26.967
We had 10 miles left and it was the longest 10 miles.

00:57:26.967 --> 00:57:42.809
But my buddy is more practical than me and he's like no, if it's getting hotter, just like anything else, you slow down, so you're not exerting yourself, and and you just, you'll get there when you get there, and if you have to take a little bit of time, that's fine.

00:57:42.809 --> 00:57:44.737
I'm the other way, I'm the other way.

00:57:44.737 --> 00:57:48.507
I'm just like no, I can't stand, I'm being tortured, I'm out of here.

00:57:48.726 --> 00:58:00.157
And so I got there, I was changed, I had my running shoes on, I was getting ready to go, I had you know what I mean?

00:58:00.157 --> 00:58:03.791
I everything done and he just pulling up, and I'm just like I'm sorry, man, I just had to go, he goes, don't be sorry, I understand.

00:58:03.791 --> 00:58:06.057
But yeah, it's an opposite relation.

00:58:06.057 --> 00:58:08.686
But yeah, so, yeah, I absolutely get it at that time.

00:58:08.686 --> 00:58:24.422
And then you're just like and then today, so now it's like all right, I just like yesterday, just absolutely was dead, and get up this morning to know that I got another two hours on the bike and then I got 4,000 meters in the open water and I'm like but same thing, it's like no, if I'm going to do this.

00:58:24.422 --> 00:58:27.784
Well, you've got to do those things, whether you're tired or you're not.

00:58:27.784 --> 00:58:31.585
And right, do it like you love it, even if you hate it.

00:58:32.356 --> 00:58:34.103
And I heard someone say it's like rule of thirds.

00:58:34.103 --> 00:58:38.784
Third of your workouts you love, you're gonna hate.

00:58:38.784 --> 00:58:41.197
Third are gonna be in middle.

00:58:41.958 --> 00:58:49.601
Yeah, like you can't expect every workout to kill it it's gonna be something about that and I said that to my, I said that to my buddy the other day.

00:58:49.601 --> 00:58:54.021
I had done a two hour and 30 minute run and I'm like it was the worst.

00:58:54.021 --> 00:58:56.871
It was hot, I had to walk, which I don't.

00:58:56.871 --> 00:59:00.978
I'm not a fan of walking when I'm on a run and I had to walk, I had do this.

00:59:00.978 --> 00:59:04.021
And he goes and he said he spit it right back in my face.

00:59:04.021 --> 00:59:04.360
He goes.

00:59:04.360 --> 00:59:09.346
Yeah, a very wise coach once told me, but you got it done.

00:59:11.527 --> 00:59:11.967
It's amazing.

00:59:11.987 --> 00:59:25.960
So you know what we didn't talk about, why you wrote the Neuro Linguistic Blueprint.

00:59:25.960 --> 00:59:28.103
So I know this was pre-COVID and you had written this book.

00:59:28.103 --> 00:59:29.887
What was the motivation to write the book?

00:59:30.507 --> 00:59:30.969
There's two.

00:59:30.969 --> 00:59:36.853
The first book was Neuro Linguistic Programming, or the Next Level Persuasion, which is my NLC book for sales people.

00:59:36.853 --> 00:59:41.927
The second one is the Personal Transformation Blueprint, and that's right.

00:59:41.927 --> 00:59:49.121
I always wanted to write a goal setting book and I've read a lot about the science of goal setting and how effective it is and never wrote it.

00:59:49.121 --> 00:59:54.380
So I probably still will write one one day, but I think this is better.

00:59:58.081 --> 01:00:08.907
And I knew I set out for bodybuilding to learn more about myself and actually to use it as a teaching moment, and so as I went through it, I thought, okay, let's figure out what this looks like.

01:00:08.907 --> 01:00:11.177
When you set yourself a big challenge, what happens?

01:00:11.177 --> 01:00:19.157
And I literally documented the mentality stages of what happened for me going through it, and it was that it was.

01:00:19.157 --> 01:00:21.702
Then I was like, okay, well, does everybody go through this?

01:00:21.702 --> 01:00:22.902
Is this a thing?

01:00:22.902 --> 01:00:24.144
And it turns out it is.

01:00:24.144 --> 01:00:26.628
So I thought, okay, well, how can I take my experience?

01:00:26.628 --> 01:00:34.483
How can I add some of the science to it and then write it in a way that changes the way some people perceive it?

01:00:34.483 --> 01:00:39.699
So there's no unique messages, only unique messengers and, like you said, the imposter syndrome kicks in.

01:00:39.699 --> 01:00:41.324
Yeah, but then why should you write a book on this.

01:00:41.324 --> 01:00:42.777
You've only just been doing this for five minutes.

01:00:42.777 --> 01:00:45.244
I've been studying this for years.

01:00:45.244 --> 01:00:47.099
Yeah, it's still this, that kind of idea.

01:00:47.661 --> 01:01:03.481
But I wanted to write this book and I thought, okay, my experiences I've gone through and the different transformations I've had to go through to create this transformation of me as a bodybuilder these are other things that other people go through, whether it's in career or business or relationship or something along those lines.

01:01:03.481 --> 01:01:07.340
I've interviewed some other people and look to their experiences, so I'll go.

01:01:07.340 --> 01:01:09.869
This is similar, and so it was.

01:01:09.869 --> 01:01:10.451
That it was.

01:01:10.451 --> 01:01:15.204
How can I document the challenge that I've gone through from a mental perspective?

01:01:15.204 --> 01:01:20.405
There's literally no talk about fitness or bodybuilding in there, maybe a couple of stories, but it's not about that.

01:01:20.405 --> 01:01:38.958
It's about every time you challenge yourself to get bigger and better and do something like a life changing challenge, you're going to go through a standard set of responses mentally that you've got to overcome, and if you, if you resist them and say this shouldn't happen, then you're going to fall short.

01:01:38.958 --> 01:01:50.862
But if you embrace them and say, okay, well, it sucks, let's go anyway, then you'll be okay, and I guess the main idea is this kind of three main ideas in the book, which first one is you've got to level up your expectations.

01:01:50.862 --> 01:01:51.965
You've got to expect more.

01:01:51.965 --> 01:01:53.617
We all get stuck.

01:01:53.617 --> 01:01:58.697
I guess this one came from sales is the biggest competitor in any sales organization.

01:01:58.697 --> 01:02:01.612
Like, it doesn't matter who you're selling for and what you're selling.

01:02:01.612 --> 01:02:04.119
The biggest competitor is status quo.

01:02:04.659 --> 01:02:09.336
Is people just staying the same and doing the exact same thing and that's the same in our lives, right?

01:02:09.336 --> 01:02:10.762
We do the same thing every day.

01:02:10.762 --> 01:02:17.487
We have the same routine, get up at the same time, do the same thing, and for most people, if they look at their lives, they rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.

01:02:17.487 --> 01:02:21.164
They'll say, well, 6, 7.

01:02:21.164 --> 01:02:23.559
And that's pretty meh.

01:02:23.559 --> 01:02:26.864
Like if you look at the NPS, like if you do a business, it's like 1 to 10.

01:02:26.864 --> 01:02:30.065
They say that up until 6, they're a detractor.

01:02:30.114 --> 01:02:31.536
You're not going to say anything good about a business.

01:02:31.536 --> 01:02:32.958
You're probably going to talk rubbish about it.

01:02:32.958 --> 01:02:34.559
Seven or eight is a meh.

01:02:34.559 --> 01:02:37.161
I'm not going to say anything good, but I'm not going to say anything bad.

01:02:37.161 --> 01:02:39.342
And nine or 10, they call promoters.

01:02:39.342 --> 01:02:41.684
This is the NPS or Net Promoter Score.

01:02:42.266 --> 01:02:42.786
So imagine this.

01:02:42.786 --> 01:02:48.690
Imagine if you're like a six or seven At worst, you're probably going to talk rubbish about it.

01:02:48.690 --> 01:02:52.940
You're like, oh, my life sucks, it's not very good, and, at best, stressed.

01:02:52.940 --> 01:02:55.724
You're like, it's okay.

01:02:55.724 --> 01:02:57.367
Imagine like going through life like that.

01:02:57.367 --> 01:02:59.036
Imagine if your life was this man, that's okay.

01:02:59.498 --> 01:03:02.485
People really try and challenge themselves to go for 10.

01:03:02.485 --> 01:03:03.458
But what could 10 look like?

01:03:03.458 --> 01:03:07.476
Or 9 or 10 or something that's just outside of our comfort zone, outside of our usual thing.

01:03:07.476 --> 01:03:11.976
For me, I was like, okay, well, I want to challenge myself from a fitness perspective, or some people will be.

01:03:11.976 --> 01:03:21.079
I want to write a book or I want to make some art or I want to start a band or I want to start a business I don't know what it is, but a lot of people, they don't ever get to that point because they can use excuses.

01:03:21.079 --> 01:03:23.047
Oh yeah, but not enough time.

01:03:23.047 --> 01:03:26.739
Kids, responsibilities, people look at me weird, but I always come.

01:03:26.739 --> 01:03:28.282
Whatever it's doesn't matter.

01:03:28.282 --> 01:03:29.994
You come up with an excuse, it's easy.

01:03:30.876 --> 01:03:32.420
And so the first day is okay.

01:03:32.420 --> 01:03:33.842
Well, let's choose something.

01:03:33.842 --> 01:03:34.103
Let.

01:03:34.103 --> 01:03:36.628
And again, I'm going to come back to Seth Godin.

01:03:36.628 --> 01:03:39.563
I should probably send him some royalties for all the quotes.

01:03:39.563 --> 01:03:40.956
There's a great quote, I think.

01:03:40.956 --> 01:03:43.824
Jim Rohn said what would you dare to do if you knew you could not fail.

01:03:43.824 --> 01:03:45.481
Every coach says this.

01:03:45.481 --> 01:03:51.940
I like Seth Godin's twist, which is what would you dare to do if you knew you would fail, but you would do it anyway?

01:03:51.940 --> 01:04:01.735
That it anyway.

01:04:01.735 --> 01:04:02.597
That's the thing right.

01:04:02.597 --> 01:04:06.208
That's the passion, that's something that is inside of you that you feel compelled to do, and so, for me, fitness is one of those things.

01:04:06.208 --> 01:04:06.889
I'm going to do it regardless.

01:04:06.889 --> 01:04:07.650
So, like that, that was okay.

01:04:07.670 --> 01:04:17.545
The second part, once you set yourself the goal, is like I said, immediately, if that goal is big enough, you're going to feel some form of imposter syndrome or fraud or die because it's a big gap, like I've had.

01:04:17.545 --> 01:04:28.226
Up until that point, I'd had 40 something years of experience saying, dan, you're never going to get below 10 body fat, like maybe once or a year, but moving forward, it's not going to happen.

01:04:28.226 --> 01:04:31.385
And so we have all these doubts and insecure.

01:04:31.385 --> 01:04:34.456
Oh well, other people can do it, maybe I can't do it, maybe I can, maybe I can't.

01:04:34.456 --> 01:04:35.820
And we've got to overcome that.

01:04:35.820 --> 01:04:38.063
We've got to overcome that mental gap.

01:04:38.786 --> 01:04:40.835
And you do it, like I said, through a bit of visualization.

01:04:40.835 --> 01:04:42.420
You do it just by showing up.

01:04:42.420 --> 01:04:44.485
Yeah, that's the big part.

01:04:44.485 --> 01:04:47.197
Is you like say, fake it until you make it that you mentioned.

01:04:47.197 --> 01:04:54.463
But it's just doing the things that those people will, because I know if I do those workouts and I change my diet, that result.

01:04:54.463 --> 01:04:57.168
Result is not, it's inevitable, it's going to happen.

01:04:57.168 --> 01:05:02.574
How good I look is limited and stuff by genetics and some other factors.

01:05:02.574 --> 01:05:08.909
But, like you know, hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.

01:05:08.909 --> 01:05:12.565
So people rarely get anywhere near their genetic capacity.

01:05:12.565 --> 01:05:14.784
So I figured I'd just work harder and everyone else would be all right.

01:05:14.784 --> 01:05:20.806
So doing the things until you feel like you are like actually living in alignment with that, that's a.

01:05:20.806 --> 01:05:23.318
It's maxwell malts in psychos.

01:05:23.338 --> 01:05:29.259
Cybernetics talks about how we live in accordance with our identity or self-image, how we see ourself.

01:05:29.259 --> 01:05:31.063
So you've got to rewire that.

01:05:31.063 --> 01:05:33.815
And then the last part then is work great.

01:05:33.815 --> 01:05:43.739
So again we come back to this Expedia, amazon Prime, immediate C culture is we're not willing to trade something for something and so we expect stuff.

01:05:43.739 --> 01:05:47.362
We're like, oh, I'm going to change from real milk to almond milk and I'll be ripped.

01:05:47.362 --> 01:05:52.159
Sorry, dude, it's going to take a little bit more than that.

01:05:52.159 --> 01:05:53.585
So we have to work hard.

01:05:53.585 --> 01:05:54.960
There's no escaping work hard.

01:05:54.960 --> 01:05:55.742
But then we have to work.

01:05:55.742 --> 01:05:56.925
Smart People tend little bit more than that.

01:05:56.925 --> 01:05:57.425
So we have to work hard.

01:05:57.425 --> 01:05:58.025
There's no escaping work hard.

01:05:58.025 --> 01:05:58.726
But then we have to work smart.

01:05:58.746 --> 01:06:00.128
People tend to try and do it the other way around, try and hack it.

01:06:00.128 --> 01:06:02.070
You know, you don't know what you gotta do, and that kind of thing.

01:06:02.070 --> 01:06:08.730
But then we also got to realize that whatever we say yes to, we have to say no to something else, and so there's an element of sacrifice.

01:06:08.730 --> 01:06:19.407
When I talk about sacrifice yeah, I like to make the joke we're not talking about goats and virgins that we're throwing into volcanoes anymore, but we are talking about a strategic sacrifice which, like in chess, is okay.

01:06:19.407 --> 01:06:23.338
Well, if I give up this pawn, does it give me an advantage on the board?

01:06:23.338 --> 01:06:29.018
I don't play chess but I know if I move that there and somebody moves there, then I can do that and that's cool, right.

01:06:29.018 --> 01:06:32.768
So I give up certain things in order to get other things.

01:06:32.768 --> 01:06:40.802
I give up sleeping until six or seven o'clock in the morning so that I can get extra time here and actually pays off over here.

01:06:41.163 --> 01:06:56.201
So I make these aspects of sacrifice to try and weigh things up, and the important thing to do that and again we come back to the psychology is we are mentally wired to go for the short-term quick fix like immediate satisfaction thing.

01:06:56.201 --> 01:06:57.961
We are mentally wired that way.

01:06:57.961 --> 01:06:59.684
It's a thing called temporal discounting.

01:06:59.684 --> 01:07:02.887
If it's going to come tomorrow versus today, I'll take the today thing.

01:07:02.887 --> 01:07:09.331
Forget that, and actually in most cases if we turn it around, that's probably the best decision.

01:07:09.331 --> 01:07:17.298
So that kind of mentality thing where we're weighing up our decisions again coming back to the decision-making master's degree, it all kind of fits together.

01:07:17.298 --> 01:07:32.534
And so if we do those things, we raise our expectation, if we understand there's going to be a gap of mentality that we need to cross, and if we put some work in, I think we can pretty much achieve everything that is the perfect way to end this segment.

01:07:32.996 --> 01:07:36.907
I think that is absolutely god's, your well.

01:07:36.907 --> 01:07:43.489
I think it's Dan's advice and that, funneled through a higher power, is we can't be thinking like that anymore.

01:07:43.489 --> 01:07:52.177
We need to be thinking more that the amount of time that you spend is going to get you to the best way of success, whatever you do.

01:07:52.177 --> 01:07:56.282
So that is absolutely.

01:07:56.282 --> 01:08:02.960
It's crucial right now, especially in our Amazon environment right now, where I mean we even got it out here.

01:08:02.960 --> 01:08:09.786
You might have it some, maybe not in Prague, probably more in England, I'm not sure, but I mean there's even things I can get today.

01:08:09.786 --> 01:08:12.121
Yeah, and it's, yeah, it's nuts.

01:08:12.121 --> 01:08:21.427
But as far as things that we want for ourselves, the things that we need to work on, the new challenges that we've put ourselves through, it's a challenge for a reason.

01:08:21.427 --> 01:08:26.586
You're not going to make it through this challenge tomorrow.

01:08:26.586 --> 01:08:37.250
The idea is that you challenge yourself to get better, to be better, to hit that next level in your life, so that you can then find another level and challenge yourself again.

01:08:37.250 --> 01:08:37.951
Yeah.

01:08:39.537 --> 01:08:42.600
So we're constantly leveling up and I love playing computer games.

01:08:42.600 --> 01:08:53.845
I still do it, occasionally get the Xbox out, but I always play roleplay games and there's this idea that you reach a certain level of experience and you level up and I suddenly get all these cool, wonderful weapons and skills.

01:08:53.845 --> 01:08:54.877
Actually I play.

01:08:54.877 --> 01:09:00.077
Remember I was saying by my football buddies we all got old and we went into hibernation One of them.

01:09:00.077 --> 01:09:01.782
Now I play Dungeons and Dragons with.

01:09:01.782 --> 01:09:06.542
That's our evolution we went from football to climbing to Dungeons and Dragons.

01:09:06.542 --> 01:09:09.938
So we're always going to be competitive in some way, shape or form, and now I'm trying to.

01:09:09.997 --> 01:09:10.779
I'm right there with you.

01:09:10.779 --> 01:09:13.342
We're just a couple of nerds, it's fine.

01:09:13.342 --> 01:09:22.855
So Dan's book is called Personal Transformation Blueprint Yep, that's correct.

01:09:22.855 --> 01:09:24.539
Okay, so that you're going to be able to get that in Amazon.

01:09:24.539 --> 01:09:28.047
I will link that in the show notes and I'm picking it up as well, and I feel bad that I didn't read it to start with.

01:09:28.047 --> 01:09:29.838
But that's his latest book.

01:09:29.838 --> 01:09:30.881
He has a couple other books.

01:09:30.881 --> 01:09:33.467
You said Neuro Linguistic Persuasion.

01:09:34.176 --> 01:09:34.658
Next Level.

01:09:34.658 --> 01:09:35.640
Persuasion Next Level.

01:09:35.661 --> 01:09:36.002
Persuasion.

01:09:37.875 --> 01:09:44.841
For anybody in the sales space who is looking for some support and kind of ideas around how do we use persuasion and psychology to get people to do things.

01:09:44.841 --> 01:09:49.863
And the third one is in draft, so it's called Bulletproof Salesperson.

01:09:49.863 --> 01:09:55.805
So again we're coming into this bulletproof space which is this whole idea of mental toughness and application.

01:09:55.805 --> 01:10:02.783
So I don't know if you like the movie matrix, but there's a great quote in it.

01:10:02.783 --> 01:10:04.532
It says neo says to morpheus he says what are you telling me I can dodge bullets?

01:10:04.532 --> 01:10:08.421
He says no, no, neo, I'm telling you it's when the time comes you won't need to.

01:10:08.421 --> 01:10:12.416
And it's that idea that we're under a ton of pressure.

01:10:12.416 --> 01:10:16.882
But you know we've got to have some skills that we can avoid bullets or at least take them a little bit more.

01:10:16.882 --> 01:10:17.845
Uh, effective.

01:10:18.987 --> 01:10:32.161
And that's one of my favorite quotes, actually, in the original daniel aruso version of the karate kid, where where ralph machio looks at pat marita and and he said and he says so when you were.

01:10:32.161 --> 01:10:33.786
So when you're a kid you're getting a lot of fights.

01:10:33.786 --> 01:10:39.539
And he's like no, and it says why not?

01:10:39.539 --> 01:10:43.944
And he says well, when we fought, it wasn't for points, it was for life.

01:10:43.944 --> 01:10:47.025
And I'm like oh, but you knew karate.

01:10:47.025 --> 01:10:48.367
And he says so.

01:10:48.367 --> 01:10:51.970
And it says well, you knew karate, so you like to fight.

01:10:51.970 --> 01:10:53.652
And he says is that what you think?

01:10:53.652 --> 01:10:57.756
He says but that's why we do this.

01:10:57.756 --> 01:10:58.819
We know karate, so we train to fight.

01:10:58.819 --> 01:11:00.385
He says that's really what you think.

01:11:00.385 --> 01:11:02.177
He says why, then?

01:11:02.177 --> 01:11:03.039
Why do we train?

01:11:03.039 --> 01:11:09.845
He goes so we don't have to fight nice yeah, right there with you.

01:11:09.864 --> 01:11:12.530
It's a very great thing, but that's the original one from 1984.

01:11:12.530 --> 01:11:17.645
Yeah, so not the will Will Smith kids version.

01:11:17.645 --> 01:11:20.703
Yeah, the Jaden Smith version, but it was great.

01:11:20.703 --> 01:11:25.279
It was a one of my all-time favorite movies Still one of my all-time favorite movies.

01:11:25.279 --> 01:11:26.262
So happy that they brought that back.

01:11:26.262 --> 01:11:27.125
Anyway, I gotta stop this.

01:11:27.125 --> 01:11:28.699
We could go on like this forever.

01:11:28.699 --> 01:11:29.341
Anyway.

01:11:29.421 --> 01:11:33.284
So think about personal transformation blueprint.

01:11:33.284 --> 01:11:34.506
You'll find that on Amazon.

01:11:34.506 --> 01:11:35.525
I will have that link.

01:11:35.525 --> 01:11:43.970
Also, danstorycom it's got some great stuff in here where you can also learn about his speaking and training.

01:11:43.970 --> 01:11:45.731
He's got a personal one-on-one coaching thing.

01:11:45.731 --> 01:12:04.939
He's also got a mental toughness assessment which I need to take and since Dan's been going into more of this mental toughness space, which we might actually have to get you back on and just literally go about that, because I think that's not that we didn't kind of cover it a little bit here, but I think it's definitely something that we all need to be learning and, yeah, so check that all out.

01:12:04.939 --> 01:12:11.546
I'll have everything in the show notes and I think, as far as social media, you're primarily a LinkedIn guy, right?

01:12:12.255 --> 01:12:14.097
Mostly on LinkedIn, just from the business space.

01:12:14.097 --> 01:12:32.443
I do the occasional posts on Instagram and I will do more so, but if people are going to find me on LinkedIn and I tend to post stuff about psychology, decision-making, mental toughness and imposter syndrome and bashing the status quo bias as much as we possibly- can Excellent.

01:12:32.563 --> 01:12:33.265
Yeah, that's in that.

01:12:33.265 --> 01:12:36.681
We need that, so I'll have those links in the show notes for you as well.

01:12:36.681 --> 01:12:38.819
So, dan, listen.

01:12:38.819 --> 01:12:41.045
This has been amazing, thank you.

01:12:41.045 --> 01:12:41.827
Thank you so much.

01:12:41.827 --> 01:12:48.408
I think you have brought a lot of value to the table and I think that people will be able to learn a lot.

01:12:49.273 --> 01:12:49.694
Thanks, brad.

01:12:49.694 --> 01:12:54.639
I think if we come back to it, I'll leave you with a quick lesson that one of my students had with me.

01:12:54.639 --> 01:12:56.560
It I'll leave you with a quick lesson that one of my students had with me.

01:12:56.560 --> 01:12:59.703
She's loved learning, she was studying all this stuff and she said I'm going to go do this other course.

01:12:59.703 --> 01:13:05.248
I said, okay, well, learning is great and there's a massive dopamine here and we enjoy learning and, like I said, I'm a student for life.

01:13:05.248 --> 01:13:08.931
But there's levels of learning and student is the first level.

01:13:12.597 --> 01:13:17.024
And I said to her it for a moment and she, I think she said I said practitioner.

01:13:17.024 --> 01:13:19.929
I was like, right, go and do this stuff.

01:13:19.929 --> 01:13:24.404
So if you are listening and you're still listening to us at this point, this is not about learning, this is about doing.

01:13:24.404 --> 01:13:31.157
Let this be the kick in the butt, the instigation, the kind of thing that tips you over the edge to go and do some stuff because you've got it in.

01:13:31.157 --> 01:13:36.305
You Go and embrace the suck, find your own version of imposter syndrome.

01:13:36.305 --> 01:13:38.350
Hopefully, this has been a good nudge in order.

01:13:40.296 --> 01:13:46.291
Thank you so much for that and thank you for listening, and we will see you in the next one.