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Transforming Life Through Fitness and Faith With Derick Johnson

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Life-Changing Challengers
Transforming Life Through Fitness and Faith With Derick Johnson
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Season 1 Health Desire Fitness

Have you ever wondered how fitness could transform not just your body, but your entire life? Derick Johnson, the founder of Fit with Derick, joins us to share his incredible journey from growing up with a unique blend of German and African-American cultures to facing the stark reality of life in Pensacola, Florida. Derick opens up about the turbulent dynamics within his family, shaped by his parents' alcohol struggles, and how these experiences forged his resilience and determination.
 
 Derick's story takes a profound turn as he describes finding solace and purpose through faith and fitness. Learn how intense workouts became his sanctuary amidst the chaos of a violent home environment and his mother's severe health scares. One gripping account involves a life-saving moment of performing CPR on his mother during a diabetic episode, highlighting the resilience and faith that anchored him through his trials. Derick's journey is a testament to the transformative power of physical discipline and spiritual growth.
 
 As we wrap up, Derick delves into his path to self-actualization and empowerment, challenging societal expectations to carve out a successful career in fitness and life coaching. We'll explore how his military background and academic pursuits in exercise science, military science, and psychology equipped him with unique insights into the mind-body connection. Derick shares personal anecdotes and professional wisdom on breaking destructive patterns and embracing the healing power of physical activity. Join us to uncover how one man's dedication to fitness and faith can inspire us all to find our inner strength and achieve our fullest potential.

Contact Derick:
Instagram: @fitwithderick2
Facebook: @fitwithderick2
Tiktok: @fitwithderick
Linkedin: @derickjohnson1
FitwithDerick.com

Have an idea or feedback? Click here to share.

Contact Brad @ Life Changing Challengers
Instagram: @bradaminus
Facebook: @bradaminus
X(Twitter): @bradaminus
YouTube: @lifechangingchallengers
LifeChangingChallengers.com

Want to be a guest on Life-Changing Challengers? Send Brad Minus a message on PodMatch, here.

Chapters

00:00 - Overcoming Childhood Challenges Through Fitness

11:04 - Finding Faith Through Fitness and Challenges

16:28 - Night of Chaos and Resilience

25:58 - Finding Empowerment Through Self-Actualization

31:21 - Uncovering Inner Power Through Life Lessons

36:29 - Healing Through Physical Activity

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.340 --> 00:00:03.343
All right and welcome back to Life Changing Challengers.

00:00:03.343 --> 00:00:07.269
I am still your host, brad Minus, and with me today.

00:00:07.269 --> 00:00:13.836
I am very honored and privileged to have Derek Johnson with me today.

00:00:13.836 --> 00:00:26.675
He has a program called Fit with Derek, and I have to tell you something, ladies and gentlemen I have not seen as many positive testimonials on this guy's site as you could possibly imagine.

00:00:26.675 --> 00:00:32.231
So this is going to be a rocking conversation with Derek Johnson.

00:00:32.231 --> 00:00:37.768
How you doing, derek Doing good Brad, how you doing I am excellent on a Monday.

00:00:37.768 --> 00:00:50.770
So, derek, as I ask everyone that starts my show, can you tell us a little bit about your background, the compliments of your family, what it was like growing up, where you did and what your childhood was like?

00:00:50.770 --> 00:00:52.173
Yeah, for sure.

00:00:52.340 --> 00:00:55.831
So first off, I appreciate you having me on your podcast, brad Pleasure being here.

00:00:55.831 --> 00:01:01.012
So as a child I grew up in Germany, my mother's German, my dad's African-American.

00:01:01.012 --> 00:01:14.911
My dad was US Army for 23 years and my mother she's been a kindergarten teacher for about 45 years and growing up with the German mentality of borderline, ocd, keep things clean, really strict home.

00:01:14.911 --> 00:01:21.335
And then with the father, he was a country boy, he grew up on a farm in Starkville, mississippi, so he's a farm boy.

00:01:21.335 --> 00:01:31.581
So the father was a farm boy turned aviation and the mother who's from the city in Nuremberg Americans would say Nuremberg and so had that strict upbringing.

00:01:31.581 --> 00:01:32.364
But it helped a lot.

00:01:32.364 --> 00:01:37.905
It was very beneficial in a positive light of work, ethic, education, doing right by others.

00:01:37.905 --> 00:01:39.108
So that's all I saw.

00:01:39.808 --> 00:01:56.694
So, yeah, so as a child grew up in Germany and in third grade that's when he moved to the United States my dad was about to retire from the army and so he retired in Fort Rucker, alabama, but he did not want us living in Alabama, so he moved us to Pensacola, florida, and on the weekend he would drive home.

00:01:56.694 --> 00:02:03.442
He's like we're not living in Alabama, no offense to anybody in Alabama, but he just didn't want to live in Fort Rucker.

00:02:03.442 --> 00:02:04.584
You're probably familiar with Fort Rucker.

00:02:04.584 --> 00:02:05.867
Outside of that base there's nothing, right?

00:02:05.867 --> 00:02:15.012
Oh yeah, so third grade, that's when we moved to Pensacola and before all Europeans, or especially kids and teens, moved to the United States.

00:02:15.012 --> 00:02:20.651
We always watch American shows and movies and we wonder is it really like that?

00:02:20.651 --> 00:02:26.460
In the movies, the bully, the cheerleader, the jo jock, the person get pushed into the locker.

00:02:26.460 --> 00:02:33.213
The mystery meat in the lunchroom, all the american stuff are like is it really like that?

00:02:35.143 --> 00:02:36.746
yeah, well, in my case it was.

00:02:36.746 --> 00:02:39.050
What about your case?

00:02:39.530 --> 00:02:40.352
oh yeah, 100.

00:02:40.352 --> 00:02:44.264
So once you move to the states and I had my first couple days in school, I was like, oh, like, oh yeah.

00:02:44.264 --> 00:02:49.626
I was telling my cousins in Germany I'm like it's exactly like the movies I had the cheerleader, the jock, the bully, everything.

00:02:49.626 --> 00:02:58.687
So we moved to the States and as a kid, I'm thinking Florida, I'm thinking we're close to Disney world, we're close to Miami, and as a European, you don't know.

00:02:58.687 --> 00:03:08.355
So we moved to Pensacola, florida, which is in the panhandle Beautiful city, beautiful beaches, but it does have a closed mentality.

00:03:08.355 --> 00:03:17.120
And I just wasn't used to that because I grew up being mixed and grew up around a lot of different cultures, your army as well, as you know how it is different cultures, different backgrounds.

00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:18.102
That was our norm.

00:03:18.102 --> 00:03:24.813
So my school was split in half and some of my friends were like hey, are you on our side, are you on this side?

00:03:24.813 --> 00:03:25.995
And I was like what are you guys talking about?

00:03:25.995 --> 00:03:28.695
My lunch table had the most random people.

00:03:28.695 --> 00:03:33.478
I was like I didn't care what your background was, as long as you're working hard and positive person.

00:03:34.259 --> 00:03:37.848
But long story short, when I turned 11, that is when everything shifted.

00:03:37.848 --> 00:03:44.074
So up until the age 11, it was positive, beautiful family, good grades everything was going smooth.

00:03:44.074 --> 00:03:53.080
But once I turned 11, I realized that my parents started to drink a lot more, and it was only at night, so it never affected their career.

00:03:53.080 --> 00:04:02.692
My dad was always the first on base or the first with his platoon or company, and my mother was always the first to unlock the school, so it never affected their professional life ever.

00:04:02.692 --> 00:04:10.163
The only day that they missed of work is if they were in the hospital getting surgery for like a cyst or something or had the flu.

00:04:10.163 --> 00:04:11.864
Besides that, they didn't miss a day of work.

00:04:11.864 --> 00:04:12.883
Never saw them miss anything.

00:04:12.883 --> 00:04:19.947
And so growing up they were both awake at 4 or 5 am, seven days a week, working out.

00:04:19.947 --> 00:04:35.774
The night before between the hours of 9 pm to 1 am, they were drinking and they would release whatever anger, aggression or emotion was happening in the right now, or 90%, was from their past, but it would only happen after the guests would leave.

00:04:35.774 --> 00:04:40.757
So you had a beautiful house, four bedrooms, four baths, screened-in pool.

00:04:40.757 --> 00:04:45.343
People were like, wow, your parents are so funny, they're so positive, this, this and that.

00:04:45.343 --> 00:04:49.221
And I was the kid that would never want to bash anyone's reputation, so I would never complain.

00:04:49.221 --> 00:04:50.244
Nobody knew anything.

00:04:50.244 --> 00:04:50.925
I didn't say anything.

00:04:50.925 --> 00:04:55.084
Even my best friends didn't say a word, because I would always say you know what?

00:04:55.084 --> 00:04:56.588
Somebody has it worse than me.

00:04:56.588 --> 00:04:57.672
I have both parents.

00:04:57.672 --> 00:04:59.442
Not all my friends have their parents.

00:04:59.442 --> 00:05:00.463
Some were in foster care.

00:05:00.463 --> 00:05:02.086
I was like we live in a beautiful home.

00:05:02.086 --> 00:05:03.750
From the outside looks great.

00:05:03.750 --> 00:05:12.473
But from the ages of 11 to 17, that is when I realized that there's a lot that I'd have to overcome.

00:05:12.473 --> 00:05:28.634
So how it began they would just start drinking more at night Once the crowd would leave, once the last person would leave dinner, once our neighbor would go back home and they would just release anger, aggression and that turned into physical, emotional, mental and other types of abuse.

00:05:28.634 --> 00:05:32.750
But the very next morning it would be hey, want to go have breakfast?

00:05:32.750 --> 00:05:35.845
Where would you like to meet for lunch today, as if nothing happened.

00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:45.238
And the first year, at age of 11 to 12, it was a culture shock because I was also getting beat up at school and then at home.

00:05:45.238 --> 00:05:53.622
So I was getting bullied in school because I was a skinny kid, I was very shy, I was timid, I was insecure, I had a stuttering issue.

00:05:53.622 --> 00:06:05.173
And at the age of 12, I made a pact with myself and I said, from here on out, nobody else is going to have control over me Not my family, not people in school, not people in public.

00:06:05.173 --> 00:06:06.704
I'm tired of feeling this way.

00:06:06.704 --> 00:06:11.343
So my step one into personal development at the age of 12 was fitness.

00:06:11.343 --> 00:06:14.911
I picked up the bodybuilding encyclopedia of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

00:06:14.911 --> 00:06:17.425
I read Bruce Lee autobiographies.

00:06:17.425 --> 00:06:23.103
I watched Bloodsport, kickboxer Rocky I grew up on all the Rambo.

00:06:23.103 --> 00:06:33.446
I grew up during that time period and so I just immersed myself in real stories, fictional stories, but also life stories of individuals that overcame similar or worse traumas.

00:06:34.127 --> 00:06:37.456
And so my step one into personal development was fitness.

00:06:37.456 --> 00:06:45.786
Because I got tired of being that skinny, mentally and physically weak kid and so within about a year and a half I completely transformed my physique.

00:06:45.786 --> 00:06:45.774
And I went about a year and a half.

00:06:45.774 --> 00:06:54.687
I completely transformed my physique and I went from the shy kid in the class to then raising my hand, sitting in the front, leading group projects, doing public speaking.

00:06:54.687 --> 00:07:00.146
And my friends, teachers and my parents' friends were like who's this kid?

00:07:00.146 --> 00:07:03.081
Like do you have a twin that just came out of the hyperbolic chamber?

00:07:03.081 --> 00:07:03.845
Like who is this guy?

00:07:03.845 --> 00:07:07.918
You, you were somebody totally different a couple years ago, and so I told people.

00:07:07.918 --> 00:07:11.586
I said, hey, I just got immersed in fitness and psychology.

00:07:11.586 --> 00:07:22.966
I was obsessed with learning about the body and the mind and how we could overcome stress, endure stress to our physical body and endure mental stress but come out positively in the end.

00:07:23.648 --> 00:07:34.762
And so, with everything happening at home, of the physical abuse, of all the trauma and all that is, I realized that kids and teens that went through a lot of those things.

00:07:34.762 --> 00:07:37.166
They tend to give what they weren't receiving.

00:07:37.166 --> 00:07:40.482
So our home and our family ran like a business.

00:07:40.482 --> 00:07:42.949
We had dinner for like five minutes, all right.

00:07:42.949 --> 00:07:43.711
What do you got to do next?

00:07:43.711 --> 00:07:44.141
What's next?

00:07:44.141 --> 00:07:44.541
What's next?

00:07:44.541 --> 00:07:44.963
What's next?

00:07:44.963 --> 00:07:45.483
There was never.

00:07:45.483 --> 00:07:47.569
I love you, let me give you a hug.

00:07:47.930 --> 00:07:49.221
Affection how was your day?

00:07:49.221 --> 00:07:49.723
How was this?

00:07:49.723 --> 00:07:50.406
There was none of that.

00:07:50.406 --> 00:07:51.670
It's like what'd you get on the test?

00:07:51.670 --> 00:07:52.341
All right, that's it.

00:07:52.341 --> 00:07:52.620
All right.

00:07:52.620 --> 00:07:54.463
Let's go study, go work out, go do whatever.

00:07:54.463 --> 00:07:56.004
So it ran like a system.

00:07:56.004 --> 00:07:58.947
There was no real affection.

00:07:58.987 --> 00:08:12.992
So on personal side, I was missing that camaraderie of the family, that love, that feeling of being heard and understood, and so I learned that I was the kid and the teen who would give that to people.

00:08:12.992 --> 00:08:18.773
I really fell in love with learning people's stories, being present with them, actively listening.

00:08:18.773 --> 00:08:23.920
Because I noticed that it was very rare to see that anybody would actually listen to people.

00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:25.139
They would just listen to cut them off, to then tell that anybody would actually listen to people.

00:08:25.139 --> 00:08:29.334
They would just listen to cut them off, to then tell their opinion, besides listening to understand.

00:08:29.334 --> 00:08:34.447
So I was that team that always wanted to give somebody my time and actually sit with them.

00:08:35.308 --> 00:08:44.448
And so by the age of 15, I made so much physical and mental progress that people were asking me like hey, can I work with you?

00:08:44.448 --> 00:08:48.754
And so at the age of 15, I actually got certified as a personal trainer.

00:08:48.754 --> 00:08:58.265
Wait, I thought there was an age limit for that.

00:08:58.265 --> 00:09:00.006
I thought you at least had to be 18.

00:09:00.006 --> 00:09:09.293
Work and I became certified on paper at 15 and I started training my neighbors, my parents, friends, my teachers, my friends.

00:09:09.293 --> 00:09:13.756
I was also in army, rotc in school and also in martial arts.

00:09:13.756 --> 00:09:25.388
So because I was in such a positive transformation, people just saw how mentally calm I was and they wanted to learn like, hey, how'd you get in shape and how do you never seem stressed?

00:09:25.388 --> 00:09:26.690
You always seem so blank.

00:09:26.690 --> 00:09:29.715
And I would teach them natural modalities.

00:09:29.715 --> 00:09:32.990
And I fell in love with the fitness aspect.

00:09:32.990 --> 00:09:42.931
But at that time but before I was even 16, I knew long-term I was going to do something that was deeper than just fitness performance and helping people have a better relationship with food.

00:09:44.982 --> 00:09:46.769
That's definitely something that's needed right now.

00:09:46.769 --> 00:09:48.325
Adam, I need to cut you off.

00:09:48.325 --> 00:09:50.667
I just want you to step back here for a couple of minutes.

00:09:50.667 --> 00:09:51.429
I've got a couple of questions.

00:09:51.429 --> 00:10:01.751
One is you said that your father moved you to Pensacola and he was driving back and forth to Fort Rucker to retire.

00:10:01.751 --> 00:10:04.124
So when did he actually retire?

00:10:04.124 --> 00:10:14.621
Yeah, so third grade, you're like eight, right Eight, six, seven, eight.

00:10:14.621 --> 00:10:26.813
Yeah, so you're like eight, nine, and then you got there, and then about 11, you said, is when things started to shift at home, and at 12, that's my biggest thing at 12, you realized that you needed to do all this changing, that you were going to make this pack with yourself.

00:10:26.813 --> 00:10:28.864
That's remarkable, because that's.

00:10:28.864 --> 00:10:33.413
Do you attribute that to your time in Germany and that structure?

00:10:34.561 --> 00:10:38.831
I honestly attribute it to getting obsessed with learning people's comeback stories.

00:10:38.831 --> 00:10:51.869
So before the age of 12, I didn't have faith, I didn't believe in God, I didn't believe in the universe, I didn't believe in any of that stuff because I was that kid that would ask the questions why does bad things happen to good people?

00:10:51.869 --> 00:10:53.866
Why does this happen to children overseas?

00:10:53.866 --> 00:10:55.325
Why is X, y, z?

00:10:55.325 --> 00:10:56.684
And nobody had answers for me.

00:10:56.684 --> 00:11:16.509
And so until I went through a lot of dark things I realized I started having stronger faith, with all the pain, because I knew what would happen if I picked up the bottle or picked up any drug, because on both sides of my family drugs and alcoholism is very rampant and a lot of people have passed away from those things.

00:11:16.509 --> 00:11:21.767
So I knew in my bloodline extremism and addictions ran in there.

00:11:21.767 --> 00:11:25.995
So I got addicted to fitness and personal development and mindset.

00:11:26.779 --> 00:11:39.245
And the first time of having an excruciating workout after honestly just getting my ass beat all night once they would pass out drunk I would go in the garage and work out and after my workout I would have such calmness.

00:11:39.245 --> 00:11:45.548
And that is when either I was delusional, either I was dehydrated, or either I was just outside of myself.

00:11:45.548 --> 00:11:52.634
But I started to have visions and hearing God and he would just talk to me and I would just pray.

00:11:52.634 --> 00:12:09.946
And it was only like after workouts, when I would just have the equilibrium of there's no thoughts, there's no self-judgment, there's no emotions, and I was just blank and I realized that I was working really well with my faith at that time period, and the reason why is because I wasn't learning a lot in church.

00:12:09.946 --> 00:12:11.910
I tried different churches.

00:12:11.910 --> 00:12:13.283
Nobody was answering questions.

00:12:13.283 --> 00:12:15.208
I was the kid that would just ask too much.

00:12:15.208 --> 00:12:19.051
And they're like all right, he's asking too much, let's get him out of here, somebody tell him to shut up.

00:12:19.051 --> 00:12:23.183
And I was like all right, well, I guess I got to go on my own journey because nobody wants to answer questions.

00:12:23.183 --> 00:12:25.546
Well, I guess I got to go on my own journey because nobody wants to answer questions.

00:12:25.566 --> 00:12:26.586
And fitness was the inlet.

00:12:26.586 --> 00:12:30.110
And then the secondary part of the personal development was my faith.

00:12:30.110 --> 00:12:43.443
And the faith came afterwards, after the workouts, and then, eventually, I learned that, hey, I can use both to my advantage.

00:12:43.443 --> 00:13:08.945
And so, with that being said, I realized that my gift at the age of 12 was discernment, and I was consuming this type of information back then Like saying it now, it just sounds funny to myself, but when you see your mom almost die in your arms, like multiple times, and then like blood on the floor and like all kind of violence at home and you see all this stuff and you've seen somebody overdose in your family and all this, seen somebody overdose in your family and all this you either choose that path or you choose the positive path.

00:13:08.985 --> 00:13:16.687
So I knew how like hell and darkness looked hey, hang on, man, you can't drop stuff like that and not give us a little bit of detail.

00:13:16.687 --> 00:13:25.264
I mean, I know it's probably it might not be the easiest thing for you to think about, but you know I dropped something about your mom almost dying and then glance over it.

00:13:25.264 --> 00:13:27.269
You gotta give us a little bit of detail.

00:13:27.830 --> 00:13:28.350
Yeah for sure.

00:13:28.350 --> 00:13:31.086
So my mother's been always been an amazing physical shape.

00:13:31.086 --> 00:13:42.793
She would always work out and health was fine, but she did have she was borderline diabetic and sometimes when she was screaming only when she was drunk.

00:13:42.793 --> 00:13:53.013
I don't know about all cultures, but German culture, hispanic culture and Korean culture are very similar in regards to when they're trying to get their point across.

00:13:53.013 --> 00:13:56.865
They will not stop until they fall asleep or pass out, like there's no off button.

00:13:56.865 --> 00:14:01.131
It's either on or falls asleep or passes out, like legitimately.

00:14:01.131 --> 00:14:06.923
And so add a couple bottles of wine to that and some anger and rage and then there you go.

00:14:06.923 --> 00:14:18.448
So since you, essentially what would happen is I guess your sugar would drop from having excess wine and while yelling and mid-yelling she would just pass out and like hit the tile floor and just pass out.

00:14:18.830 --> 00:14:22.621
And there was one time that it happened where she did not have a pulse.

00:14:22.621 --> 00:14:29.970
And I'm a teenager in this living room in this big beautiful house in Florida, and two hours before that the guests left.

00:14:29.970 --> 00:14:36.004
I'm like, oh, your parents, your family's amazing and I'm just that kid, that's like I can just feel the darkness about to hit.

00:14:36.004 --> 00:14:43.505
And so the first time that it happened, she passed out and I'm feeling her and I don't feel a heartbeat.

00:14:43.505 --> 00:14:52.841
And I was in ROTC and I knew all the basics and so in that time period I really didn't have fear because I was used to this kind of stuff happening.

00:14:52.841 --> 00:14:57.510
But at that in particular night her pulse wasn't coming back.

00:14:57.510 --> 00:15:01.508
I did mouth to mouth, did the compressions, did CPR on my own mother.

00:15:01.508 --> 00:15:04.940
My dad comes in, he's drunk and he's like this is your fault.

00:15:04.940 --> 00:15:08.109
And he's like blacked out drug and he's like oh, my wife is dead because of you.

00:15:08.109 --> 00:15:09.051
And blah, blah, blah.

00:15:09.051 --> 00:15:17.803
And, mind you, I had AB on a roll, never got a referral in my life, never been arrested, never like I did the stupid teenage stuff.

00:15:17.803 --> 00:15:22.514
But there was no reason for somebody to be that angry with me and I knew that it was not me.

00:15:22.514 --> 00:15:26.903
And so, with him screaming like that and with her being passed out, I'm like you know what?

00:15:26.903 --> 00:15:27.543
I need?

00:15:27.543 --> 00:15:28.426
To call 911.

00:15:28.426 --> 00:15:31.181
I can't do it in here because it's my turn.

00:15:31.181 --> 00:15:33.044
Violent, them thinking I hurt my own mother.

00:15:33.044 --> 00:15:38.802
So I step outside, I call and I'm just calm yes, ma'am, here's the address.

00:15:38.802 --> 00:15:42.408
My mother, there's no pulse, just need help, blah, blah.

00:15:42.408 --> 00:15:44.351
And so as I'm about to get off the phone.

00:15:44.351 --> 00:15:49.470
My dad comes outside into the front yard and just yelling, and they just hear a guy yelling in the background.

00:15:49.470 --> 00:15:52.183
My dad's like six foot three, just big ass guy.

00:15:52.183 --> 00:15:54.389
And they hear his deep voice.

00:15:54.389 --> 00:15:57.100
And then he's like, yeah, this is all your fault.

00:15:57.100 --> 00:15:59.383
And then the lady's like did you do something to your mother?

00:15:59.383 --> 00:16:03.025
And I'm like, oh, my goodness, I see, I see where this is going.

00:16:03.907 --> 00:16:12.235
And so about 15 to 20 minutes later, fire truck, ambulance, multiple cop cars in this beautiful neighborhood, just pull up.

00:16:12.235 --> 00:16:16.068
And it's like 10 pm, probably like a Tuesday or Wednesday night, just during the week.

00:16:16.068 --> 00:16:22.389
All these vehicles are in front of the house and I already called my friend at that time and I was like, hey, can you guys pick me up?

00:16:22.389 --> 00:16:24.479
And I was too young to drive back then, but I have some older friends.

00:16:24.479 --> 00:16:24.798
I was like, hey, can you guys pick me up?

00:16:24.798 --> 00:16:25.677
And I was too young to drive back then, but I had some older friends.

00:16:25.677 --> 00:16:35.200
I was like I just got to get out of here and so I'm waiting on my friend to come with all these people out here and I'm just waiting to see is my mother, did my mother pass away?

00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:36.101
I just want an answer.

00:16:36.101 --> 00:16:37.945
That's all I want, and then I'll continue with my life.

00:16:38.566 --> 00:16:48.803
And so I'm standing in the driveway, they go in, the EMTs rush in my dad's inside, and then I give it a couple of minutes and then I walked to the front door.

00:16:48.803 --> 00:16:56.090
As I walked to the front door, I remember clear as day, there's this cop there and he's like hey, your dad told me, this is your fault.

00:16:56.090 --> 00:16:58.020
Did you put your hands on your mother's son?

00:16:58.020 --> 00:17:02.006
And my blood is boiling at this point, but I'm staying calm.

00:17:02.006 --> 00:17:03.928
I was like no, sir, I I actually called.

00:17:04.589 --> 00:17:05.590
She's more like diabetic.

00:17:05.590 --> 00:17:06.413
Sometimes she drinks.

00:17:06.413 --> 00:17:07.193
She was screaming.

00:17:07.193 --> 00:17:08.816
Blood sugar must have dropped.

00:17:08.816 --> 00:17:09.842
She literally just passed out.

00:17:09.842 --> 00:17:13.692
So if she has a concussion, that's why you can check.

00:17:13.692 --> 00:17:14.601
That's what it is.

00:17:14.601 --> 00:17:19.801
There's no mark on her besides the back of her head and he's, like you, sure about those, I guess, sir, I'm sure.

00:17:19.801 --> 00:17:22.006
How about you go look at her and not question me?

00:17:22.406 --> 00:17:23.368
And I'm just getting aggravated.

00:17:23.368 --> 00:17:25.432
I'm like I just want to know if my mom's alive or dead right now.

00:17:25.432 --> 00:17:26.714
Like can we stop this right now?

00:17:26.714 --> 00:17:30.103
And I'm like 13, 14 years old when this is happening.

00:17:30.103 --> 00:17:31.968
So everything's going through my head.

00:17:31.968 --> 00:17:33.211
I'm like one I'm gonna go to jail.

00:17:33.211 --> 00:17:34.603
Two, my mom's probably dead.

00:17:34.603 --> 00:17:39.032
Three, they're probably gonna say that I did it or did some violence.

00:17:39.032 --> 00:17:40.663
And I'm just having all this stuff go in my head.

00:17:41.244 --> 00:17:47.920
And then, out of nowhere, this short hispanic emt it's probably like five foot flat.

00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:51.555
She just comes out of nowhere and just says everybody shut the.

00:17:51.555 --> 00:17:54.042
And she's like screaming and all of us shut up.

00:17:54.042 --> 00:18:04.605
And she walked to the door and she says sir, you should be thanking your son because I was about to walk here to tell you guys the bad news and as I was walking up, your wife started coughing.

00:18:04.605 --> 00:18:05.228
Somehow.

00:18:05.228 --> 00:18:08.285
I did electric shock on her.

00:18:08.285 --> 00:18:11.092
I did check her pulse multiple times and she didn't come back.

00:18:11.092 --> 00:18:14.594
And as I'm walking to tell you guys bad news, she starts coughing.

00:18:14.594 --> 00:18:15.980
So you should be thankful.

00:18:15.980 --> 00:18:17.002
Your son even called.

00:18:17.523 --> 00:18:18.306
And then I walk in.

00:18:18.306 --> 00:18:19.087
She's like let him in.

00:18:19.087 --> 00:18:20.090
He didn't do anything.

00:18:20.090 --> 00:18:27.282
She had a concussion, there's no marks on her and, yes, her blood excuse me, her alcohol is very high in her bloodstream.

00:18:27.282 --> 00:18:29.344
So he was not lying.

00:18:29.344 --> 00:18:30.604
I said thank you, ma'am.

00:18:30.644 --> 00:18:34.086
So I walk in and I look around in the living room and I see my mother on the couch.

00:18:34.086 --> 00:18:46.550
She has an IV and she comes back to her senses, but again she's like, there he is, he did this to me and I'm like, oh my God, is this like a movie right now?

00:18:46.550 --> 00:18:50.792
Because she's blackout drunk, she doesn't know what's even happening and she's just screaming.

00:18:50.792 --> 00:18:53.634
And then my dad's like, yeah, you see this.

00:18:53.634 --> 00:18:55.654
And I said I got to get out of here.

00:18:55.654 --> 00:18:58.737
I was like man, thank you for what you did, I appreciate it.

00:18:58.777 --> 00:19:03.419
So I walk out, my friend, luckily around that time already pulled in the driveway and then I left.

00:19:03.419 --> 00:19:05.063
My friend, luckily, around that time, already pulled in the driveway and then I left.

00:19:05.063 --> 00:19:08.009
But like that's one example of one of those nights.

00:19:08.009 --> 00:19:13.444
So there's been multiple of those nights and we're blessed that, like both my parents are still alive.

00:19:13.444 --> 00:19:20.362
I don't know how my mother has survived that in many nights, like literally not having a pulse, but sometimes that can happen.

00:19:20.362 --> 00:19:27.902
So, on a side note, if people have alcoholism or drug addicts in their family, somehow some of them like just keep coming back.

00:19:28.844 --> 00:19:32.971
Yeah, Well, it makes sense now why you were so calm.

00:19:32.971 --> 00:19:39.406
You know what I mean For you to live through that and over and over again, it makes sense that you were able to.

00:19:39.406 --> 00:19:47.898
You know it's just another night, so you were able to remain calm and then, of course, on top of that you were, you know your personal development probably got you to the point where you were.

00:19:47.898 --> 00:19:53.381
You know you were able just to sit back and you know, kind of push it down is basically what you did.

00:19:53.381 --> 00:20:01.105
You kind of held your feelings in is what it sounds like to me, which is in that situation is what you want to do, right, Because you don't want to go, you don't want to go off the handle.

00:20:01.105 --> 00:20:04.038
And then everybody's starting to point to figures and they already did.

00:20:04.618 --> 00:20:07.105
The only marks on her should have been your compressions.

00:20:07.105 --> 00:20:11.905
Yeah, you know, and that would have been evidence enough, and it sounds like the EMT knew that.

00:20:11.905 --> 00:20:17.757
So, yeah, yeah, I can think of.

00:20:17.757 --> 00:20:23.497
I know most of the people that I've dealt with probably would not have had the sense or the ability to to think clearly in that situation.

00:20:23.497 --> 00:20:24.921
So that's kudos, what kind of makes it?

00:20:24.921 --> 00:20:35.740
Kind of makes it and we're going to get to it, but it definitely tells a story of how you did, how well you did in the, in the military as well, Cause you kind of need that, especially when you're dealing with drill instructors.

00:20:35.740 --> 00:20:36.842
Oh yeah, All right.

00:20:36.842 --> 00:20:39.227
So yeah, so okay.

00:20:39.227 --> 00:20:43.821
So you're 15, 16, you're, and you're in a public high school, I'm assuming.

00:20:44.022 --> 00:20:55.849
Yes, I'm in public school, personal training in school, also in army ROTC, and so a huge reason that I joined army ROTC was I loved the military camaraderie, the aspect of it.

00:20:55.849 --> 00:21:02.076
I'd always watch my dad get up early, him and his buddies, and all that just that brotherhood, and I wanted to be part of that.

00:21:02.076 --> 00:21:09.101
And also I knew that my younger version still has some fears of height excuse me, fears of heights, other fears.

00:21:09.101 --> 00:21:10.544
I was like all right, I need to face this.

00:21:10.544 --> 00:21:21.194
I did not want to do 20 plus years, but I knew that a temporary time period would help me a lot and it would look good on my resume and I just knew I needed to get out of my comfort zone.

00:21:21.194 --> 00:21:24.355
So I did it, more so for my younger version because he would have been scared.

00:21:24.355 --> 00:21:25.854
So that's why I honestly joined.

00:21:27.380 --> 00:21:30.234
I'm going to assume you haven't mentioned it, but I'm going to assume that you were an only child.

00:21:31.265 --> 00:21:34.821
No, I had an older sister, so I have a full sister older.

00:21:34.821 --> 00:21:37.537
She was five years older than me and then I have a half sister.

00:21:37.537 --> 00:21:38.419
Both are older.

00:21:38.419 --> 00:21:43.709
But my sister that lived in our home, she's actually a genius.

00:21:43.709 --> 00:21:56.644
So funny thing is she skipped two grades and because I was just a normal kid that made a's and b's and I didn't skip a grade, I was compared to like a genius who didn't even have to try and it was like a funny dichotomy in the home.

00:21:57.055 --> 00:21:59.381
So beautiful home, hardworking parents.

00:21:59.381 --> 00:22:01.926
At night all hell broke loose and they wouldn't really mess with her.

00:22:01.926 --> 00:22:03.381
They would just mess with me because I'm the youngest.

00:22:03.381 --> 00:22:05.160
And then she's like what's going on?

00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:06.384
And she doesn't even have to try.

00:22:06.384 --> 00:22:15.654
She's like smoking weed in a room, just passing all the classes, and I'm like so yeah, so like, I'm the kid who didn't never smoke, never drank back then never got in trouble.

00:22:15.654 --> 00:22:16.820
She was getting in trouble.

00:22:16.820 --> 00:22:21.500
But they're like well, she's got all these full-ride scholarships already, like we don't have to pay a dime and all like.

00:22:21.500 --> 00:22:25.519
So this is a funny dichotomy of the difference in the house.

00:22:25.519 --> 00:22:28.184
So I was the black sheep of the family.

00:22:28.184 --> 00:22:29.808
They all had.

00:22:29.808 --> 00:22:32.740
They were all cuckoo in a good way.

00:22:32.740 --> 00:22:36.025
They're all very intelligent, but they're all're all cuckoo in a good way and it's all love.

00:22:36.025 --> 00:22:37.207
Like I could talk about it now.

00:22:37.207 --> 00:22:43.926
But it's just funny in hindsight to see that I was actually the non-crazy one in the home because I was the most neutral.

00:22:45.556 --> 00:22:51.856
Yeah, I could see Since then has the partying at night faltered, has it kind of lessened out since then?

00:22:52.557 --> 00:22:55.967
I haven't seen them, my parents, in about like five to six years.

00:22:55.967 --> 00:22:58.618
Wow, yeah, I'm 34.

00:22:58.618 --> 00:23:06.160
So I haven't been in the house since 18, but I did keep in touch with them throughout the years, a couple of years ago.

00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:26.127
But I will say, for my own mental health, for my business growth, for my relationship growth and everything else, one of the best things I did for myself just so I know this was seven years ago the best thing I did for my own mental health besides starting my personal development journey at 12, was seven years ago, so I was 27.

00:23:26.127 --> 00:23:28.819
And that was I changed my phone number.

00:23:28.819 --> 00:23:59.207
The reason I changed my phone number is because I would receive drunk voicemails and drunk paragraph texts but I mean 30 paragraph texts at odd hours of day and I would be on a coaching call, be in a gym, be on a date with my girlfriend, studying, improving my skill sets, and then, out of nowhere, my phone would vibrate and I would just see this random stuff that had nothing to do with anything in the present moment and I knew it was just drunk rants and it was just knowing that.

00:23:59.247 --> 00:24:05.715
A narcissist even if it's not family, but a narcissist when they know that they don't have control of you and you don't need them in any kind of way.

00:24:05.715 --> 00:24:14.061
For years on end, they want to find a way to sneak in and bring up something from your past to try to control them, manipulate you again, to overshadow their insecurities.

00:24:14.061 --> 00:24:15.864
So I knew this deep down.

00:24:15.864 --> 00:24:31.106
I knew the psychology, I knew their patterns and all this, but I knew that the only way that everything was going to take off in life was if I blocked access to myself from family and not saying there's any hate or anger anymore.

00:24:31.106 --> 00:24:32.214
But it was just more so for me.

00:24:32.214 --> 00:24:36.482
I had to, and so if they want to contact me, there's email or social media.

00:24:36.482 --> 00:24:43.107
They end up in the message request folder, but I have control of if I want to respond and so I had to do it for myself.

00:24:43.107 --> 00:24:59.403
So, honestly, that's one of the biggest things that helped in regards to my adult mental health journey was just changing my phone number, because I'm not going to say nothing stresses me out, but normal things, as most veterans would agree, normal things in society don't really stress us because we've seen a lot.

00:24:59.703 --> 00:25:05.066
But the only thing that would still irk me is when that name or his name would pop up on my phone.

00:25:05.066 --> 00:25:10.547
I was like I'll just feel this annoyance or rage and it would just make me angry for a couple hours.

00:25:10.547 --> 00:25:14.428
I'm a very positive, laid back person, love to make people's day.

00:25:14.428 --> 00:25:24.548
But the second that that would pop up on the screen internally I'd be off for like two hours or three hours straight, even if I wasn't thinking about it, just my whole body, language, heart rate would be up.

00:25:24.548 --> 00:25:32.520
And it was just the interruption because I'd be in a total flow state, doing whatever I was doing, and I said you know what, let me just block the access.

00:25:33.683 --> 00:25:42.645
And so my goal for this year now to come to the present moment is to surprise them later this year, in 2024, go to the home.

00:25:42.645 --> 00:25:47.147
But I'm going to do this and say hey, before we have a conversation, I just would like you to sit down.

00:25:47.147 --> 00:26:00.567
Then I'm going to play my laptop on their screen and I just want them to take 45 minutes to two hours, depending on how many are on there at that time period, to watch every single testimonial video and picture.

00:26:00.567 --> 00:26:07.184
Not to say I told you so, but just to say this is why I went this path and didn't stay in the army.

00:26:07.184 --> 00:26:11.981
Okay, because they wanted me to stay in 20 years.

00:26:11.981 --> 00:26:13.885
Hey, you were soldier of the year multiple times.

00:26:13.885 --> 00:26:15.676
It's good, blah, blah, blah, safe route.

00:26:15.676 --> 00:26:19.226
Because in their mind, coaching fitness equals broke bodybuilder.

00:26:19.226 --> 00:26:20.576
That's the mentality they had.

00:26:20.576 --> 00:26:24.757
Broke bodybuilder lives in this truck and I was like you don't know the power of this thing.

00:26:24.757 --> 00:26:38.842
So I was always using social media to empower people and I realized that I was onto something, and so that's one of my goals for this year, and after I showed them that it's more so, like a thank you, I appreciate everything that happened.

00:26:38.842 --> 00:26:40.386
This is why I'm good at what I do.

00:26:41.035 --> 00:26:43.319
90% of these videos are regarding life coaching.

00:26:43.319 --> 00:26:46.468
It's not just abs, nice legs, 225 on bench.

00:26:46.468 --> 00:26:47.115
It's more than that.

00:26:47.115 --> 00:26:51.760
There's also clients that got off drugs, alcohol, traumas, overcame those things.

00:26:51.760 --> 00:26:55.345
So I want them to see those videos and to say I appreciate you.

00:26:55.345 --> 00:26:57.287
They just see my calmness.

00:26:57.287 --> 00:27:07.580
You guys helped me with this, had to love you from a distance, but you guys gave me skills that I probably wouldn't have had if I would have not had this upbringing.

00:27:07.580 --> 00:27:12.178
So I appreciate you and at that time period, if they'd like to have a conversation or a friendship or relationship, awesome.

00:27:12.178 --> 00:27:18.028
If they don't, also awesome, cause at least I know I feel good, where I'm like hey, I appreciate you with everything.

00:27:18.028 --> 00:27:19.710
There's no anger, hate or resentment.

00:27:19.710 --> 00:27:25.188
But if we cannot have a common ground conversation then, hey, I'll talk to you guys in a couple years.

00:27:25.188 --> 00:27:32.837
But yeah, so that's honestly just where I'm at, but again, it's just a neutral feeling of being grateful for what happened.

00:27:33.700 --> 00:27:39.342
So, going to one of my favorite quotes from Tony Robbins is life is happening for you, not to you.

00:27:39.342 --> 00:27:48.667
And one of my other favorite quotes from Tony is if my mother gave me the love I wanted as a child, I would not be the man I am today.

00:27:48.667 --> 00:27:53.247
If my mother gave me the love I wanted as a child, I would not be the man I am today.

00:27:53.247 --> 00:28:11.077
Those two quotes have stuck with me since I first heard them around 12 years old, because my father would always listen to Tony Robbins tapes, zig Ziglar and all that, which is funny because the night before it was like beating my ass and the next day he's dropping me to practice and we're listening to Tony and I'm like this is interesting duality.

00:28:11.077 --> 00:28:16.026
But that's where I am am and I do appreciate everything in life.

00:28:16.406 --> 00:28:24.007
So when I speak to people, I just challenge them to say what gift or light can you find in the pain or in the trauma?

00:28:24.007 --> 00:28:28.300
What gift or light can you find in the pain or the trauma?

00:28:28.300 --> 00:28:32.189
So my gift, I realized at age 12, was discernment.

00:28:32.189 --> 00:28:34.560
I could feel people's energy.

00:28:34.560 --> 00:28:37.355
Strangers would come up to me and just open up.

00:28:37.355 --> 00:28:39.000
At first it was overwhelming.

00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:41.326
I'm like why is this old lady just pointing her heart out?

00:28:41.326 --> 00:28:42.297
She's like crying on my shoulder.

00:28:42.297 --> 00:28:43.500
I'm like what is happening?

00:28:43.500 --> 00:28:47.218
But then I realized that was what was supposed to happen.

00:28:49.926 --> 00:28:50.208
That's.

00:28:50.208 --> 00:28:51.432
I mean, that's pretty amazing.

00:28:51.432 --> 00:28:58.688
I think what you're coming upon is something that people, a lot of people in this generation that's popping up.

00:28:58.688 --> 00:29:01.480
It's self-actualization.

00:29:01.480 --> 00:29:04.423
Yes, like you, you figured that out.

00:29:04.423 --> 00:29:12.382
You figured out, hey, that negative aspect that causes me this stress is my parents, and as much as they're my parents, my family.

00:29:12.382 --> 00:29:13.846
That's what's causing me this stress, so I need to eliminate that.

00:29:13.846 --> 00:29:16.676
You know that's what's causing me the stress, so I need to eliminate that.

00:29:16.676 --> 00:29:26.665
You know, not completely, because, again, it's family, but enough, so you can go on and continue to grow, you know, as you want to.

00:29:26.665 --> 00:29:30.016
So it's really it's I mean, it's basically turning.

00:29:30.016 --> 00:29:35.924
It's turning adversity into empowerment, exactly A hundred percent, yeah.

00:29:35.924 --> 00:29:37.067
So yeah, you'd be.

00:29:37.067 --> 00:29:39.696
I for those, those listening.

00:29:39.696 --> 00:29:42.044
And, derek, if you want to give it a shot, I'd love to.

00:29:42.144 --> 00:29:51.744
But one of my, one of my very first episodes as a guy named Luke Fernandez that kind of had some of the same journey, except that he had a deal with depression in the midst, but he figured out what it was, just like you did.

00:29:51.744 --> 00:29:52.986
It was a self-actualization.

00:29:52.986 --> 00:30:03.372
But the other thing that he really figured out was fitness and how he has a coaching business as well, and he's always like no, first you gotta start working out, that's it.

00:30:03.372 --> 00:30:07.240
He says no, we're not touching the life coaching until you start working out.

00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:09.771
Yeah, you've been doing it for, and you were doing it for a month.

00:30:09.771 --> 00:30:12.239
I'll give you whatever you want, I'll take care of all your tools.

00:30:12.239 --> 00:30:16.810
And you seem to be kind of going on that same direction as far as I saw in your testimonials.

00:30:16.891 --> 00:30:38.560
I'm not sure if that's how you start we haven't gotten to that point yet but but I can see where the, the self-discipline and the flow state is kind of what you were describing when you talked about you going in to the garage and working out while your parents were partying and finding that flow state, and that's kind of what got you to where you were.

00:30:38.560 --> 00:30:39.156
So now it makes.

00:30:39.156 --> 00:30:44.655
Now you deciding at 12 to hit the gym and start learning about personal development.

00:30:44.655 --> 00:30:47.644
That makes all the sense in the world, which is why I had to step you back.

00:30:47.644 --> 00:30:52.782
I appreciate it, yeah, but no, it makes a lot of sense now.

00:30:52.782 --> 00:30:54.166
So all right.

00:30:54.166 --> 00:30:56.339
So so you all right.

00:30:56.339 --> 00:30:56.800
Let's say what.

00:30:56.800 --> 00:30:57.844
You graduated high school.

00:30:59.227 --> 00:30:59.406
Yes.

00:30:59.406 --> 00:31:04.383
So graduated high school in Pensacola, florida, and then I went to the University of West Florida.

00:31:04.383 --> 00:31:17.337
I had a full ride scholarship with Army ROTC Along with in the state of Florida we have a scholarship called the Bright Future Scholarship and so I had those and so parents were happy, didn't have to pay a dime for anything.

00:31:17.337 --> 00:31:18.039
So that was cool.

00:31:18.039 --> 00:31:24.137
But deep down I just knew that I wasn't going to be doing full-time army for 20 plus years.

00:31:24.137 --> 00:31:31.098
So in college I studied exercise science and also studied a minor in military science and psychology.

00:31:31.098 --> 00:31:40.262
I love the brain, I love the body, and a lot of what I do now is mind-body connection rather than just performance or just tell me about your trauma.

00:31:40.262 --> 00:31:43.920
I cover both so that way we can fully overcome it.

00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:48.375
So we're not just talking or only working out, because that was the missing piece.

00:31:48.375 --> 00:32:17.759
But definitely in college is where I got deeper into my coaching modalities, because I realized that having discernment gave you the skill to capture people's patterns quick, because I caught my patterns of my family myself, even like my response to them and their response to me and vice versa, and I'd always see things at a higher level and I just fell in love with that and growing up as a quiet kid, I was always literally the DD for my parents, even way before I had a license.

00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:24.125
But I would sit in the corner, eat the food at their friend's house and just people watch and I was like this is like a reality show in here.

00:32:24.125 --> 00:32:26.788
I'm like he went to the bathroom, they talked about him and vice versa.

00:32:26.788 --> 00:32:27.373
I'm like what the fuck?

00:32:27.373 --> 00:32:39.381
But it was interesting because I learned so much about psychology just growing up being that fly on the wall, just watching people, and so bringing that into Army, rotc and field training.

00:32:39.381 --> 00:32:52.606
I could sense the soldier's energy off if it was something personal, something from their past, something happening right now, and I would always pull them to the side or approach them strategically in a different way and I realized it came really natural.

00:32:52.606 --> 00:33:16.978
So the unapproachable person that was really aggressive and all that was like the easiest person to talk to because you could sense that they were just overshadowing something and whether that was male or female soldier, and then on the flip side, the quiet one, and then them learning like, oh wait, he does relate to me and I'd tell him a little bit about myself, we'd speak, and I just always love making somebody feel heard or understood, because I knew what it felt like to not feel that.

00:33:16.978 --> 00:33:20.126
And in hindsight I was like man this is amazing.

00:33:20.126 --> 00:33:26.898
Life prepared me for all of this and so in college I really fell in love with psychology and the natural modalities.

00:33:27.319 --> 00:33:31.808
I got nothing against therapists, nothing major against big pharma.

00:33:31.808 --> 00:33:33.519
I think a lot of things are unnecessary.

00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:43.739
But I did realize that a lot of people hit a wall and they're stuck and I want to do it, to do everything I could to help people get unstuck by.

00:33:43.739 --> 00:33:57.884
Maybe they forget because they feel so good, they forget to take the prescription, or maybe they forget to keep going to the therapist because now they're making actual progress and not just venting every Tuesday and Thursday, putting themselves in a dark place for three hours.

00:33:57.884 --> 00:34:14.641
And again, therapy can help, it is effective, but I've worked with many people that had the same therapist for five to 10 years and they've been in the same position and we worked together for one month and then make such major progress and it just makes you wonder like what did he or she have you doing?

00:34:14.641 --> 00:34:21.297
How many times are you going to repeat what happened when you were 12 without having much progress?

00:34:21.297 --> 00:34:22.519
So that's what always irked me.

00:34:22.699 --> 00:34:39.849
So that's what inspired me deep down is to help people break their patterns so they can feel like they have control, like they're thriving, not just surviving, and also to show them that they don't have to be codependent on a person or on a substance to get through things, to mask things or to take the edge off.

00:34:39.849 --> 00:34:46.027
So that's my deepest passion is to show people that the power that they're searching for is actually already within them.

00:34:46.027 --> 00:34:47.659
It's always been within them.

00:34:47.659 --> 00:34:49.661
They just have to get rid of stuff first.

00:34:49.661 --> 00:34:53.340
So teaching them how to get rid of these things, and they're like wow, I'm the one in control.

00:34:53.340 --> 00:34:54.847
So teaching them how to get rid of these things, and they're like wow, I'm the one in control.

00:34:54.847 --> 00:35:07.507
Their food, their mindset, their reaction to people, to their toxic family, toxic boss, traffic they're not speaking about somebody that cut them off in traffic 7 am to their family at 7 pm at dinner.

00:35:07.507 --> 00:35:09.181
Like you won't believe what happened this morning.

00:35:09.181 --> 00:35:10.760
It was a two-minute interaction.

00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:12.105
Why are you still talking about that?

00:35:19.894 --> 00:35:21.038
Like it's 7 pm, you're having dinner with your family.

00:35:21.038 --> 00:35:21.498
What is going on?

00:35:21.498 --> 00:35:22.742
Oh, I completely agree and I get you because I have to.

00:35:22.742 --> 00:35:34.983
You know, I don't know how you felt in basic, but we had, you know, one drill instructor that was loud and just yelling at us all the time, and you had the one that was like reserved and quiet, and I was more afraid of him because he'd be just like all right, prize.

00:35:34.983 --> 00:35:37.699
You know what you need to do and just go do it.

00:35:37.699 --> 00:35:42.458
You know, it's like you knew that, all right, you're getting down and you're giving him 20.

00:35:42.458 --> 00:35:46.295
Then he'll tell you all right, flip over prize, flip over, all right shuttle.

00:35:46.295 --> 00:35:49.764
You know, give me some flutter kicks, let's go, let's go, just like that.

00:35:49.764 --> 00:35:53.601
The other guy would be like you better get down and give me 20 right now.

00:35:53.601 --> 00:36:00.418
You know, yeah, that guy didn't scare me, I knew he was coming, but the one that was quiet, you didn't want to mess with him.

00:36:00.418 --> 00:36:04.226
Oh yeah, but yeah, no, I get it.

00:36:04.527 --> 00:36:20.340
I've had, I had a client that you know, lost, lost a partner, and it was getting him out on the bike and we're doing like multiple threshold rides and that you, you know you start to get the endorphins going.

00:36:20.340 --> 00:36:22.204
Yes, they can start.

00:36:22.204 --> 00:36:29.186
It's interesting because they can start talking and because of everything going on in their body and their brain.

00:36:29.186 --> 00:36:58.981
Now, all of a sudden, they could talk rationally, oh yeah, whereas when they are in a normal resting heart rate and, oh yeah, depression state temporarily yeah so I mean it was amazing it was literally amazing that all of a sudden you know where he would be crying.

00:36:59.664 --> 00:37:04.420
All of a sudden he's just really mellow and just yeah, this is what happens kind of feeling bad about it.

00:37:04.420 --> 00:37:05.423
Well, you know what I mean?

00:37:05.423 --> 00:37:11.186
I don't know what I'm going to do, but I have a plan and I was like great, you got a plan, so I get that.

00:37:11.186 --> 00:37:14.097
Yeah, sometimes I wish therapists would like put people on treadmills.

00:37:14.677 --> 00:37:19.684
Yeah, exactly Like in our office, subtle things like that that people don't pay attention to it.

00:37:19.684 --> 00:37:28.155
It's always the small things that are basic, simple and straightforward that people overlook, like there's no way that just walking can help that way.

00:37:28.155 --> 00:37:39.782
I'm like, well, if you do a combination of walking and talking and there's a term I forget who originated this quote, but in psychology there's a term that goes if the problem is in the mind, the solution is in the body.

00:37:39.782 --> 00:37:46.286
If the problem is in the body, the solution is in the mind positive headspace, because they're going to think it's fake.

00:37:46.286 --> 00:38:06.800
But if they move the body, stretch, walk their dog for five minutes, jumping jacks in place, whatever they want to do just change their state, their physicality, move, shake, play some music and dance for a song, do whatever, play with their kid, play fetch with their dog.

00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:16.135
After that, if they do something for the mind, it's way more effective because the mind is open and they're not self-judging, they're more in an excited flow state.

00:38:16.135 --> 00:38:23.083
Same thing with being on the 15th mile on the bike and then he starts talking and just opening up and it's just flowing, making sense, he's not breaking down.

00:38:23.083 --> 00:38:24.195
You're like, wow, this is amazing.

00:38:24.195 --> 00:38:26.039
And so that always stood out to me.

00:38:26.039 --> 00:38:27.101
And the same thing in reverse.

00:38:27.804 --> 00:38:31.476
If the problem is in the mind, the solution, excuse me.

00:38:31.476 --> 00:38:35.139
If the problem is in the body, the solution is in the mind, Meaning the solution, excuse me.

00:38:35.139 --> 00:38:38.182
If the problem is in the body, the solution is in the mind, meaning if the person's like am I having an anxiety attack?

00:38:38.182 --> 00:38:39.724
Step one what have I consumed?

00:38:39.724 --> 00:38:41.385
Am I dehydrated?

00:38:41.385 --> 00:38:42.226
Did I have water?

00:38:42.226 --> 00:38:43.387
Did I have coffee?

00:38:43.387 --> 00:38:45.148
Before I even had two glasses of water.

00:38:45.148 --> 00:38:47.990
Yeah, I just dehydrated myself before I was dehydrated.

00:38:47.990 --> 00:38:53.617
So now my anxiety is up, my heart rate is up, I'm dehydrated and I'm about to fall asleep.

00:38:53.617 --> 00:38:57.764
So it's like sometimes we got to add up the basics, but it's so interesting, so everything that I do is just so straightforward.

00:38:58.085 --> 00:39:09.222
We can go deeper, but it's not until later on in the programming, until, as you mentioned, they start making the progress, having the confidence, and I just call it stacking wins.

00:39:09.222 --> 00:39:12.438
Once they've stacked a lot of wins and have built that momentum, they're confident.

00:39:12.438 --> 00:39:20.920
Then we can say all right, he's in a good zone, now let's talk about the deep stuff and they're more open to it, rather than first conversation Like hey, pleasure to meet you, man.

00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:22.260
So tell me what happened when you were seven?

00:39:22.260 --> 00:39:23.423
What'd your uncle do to you?

00:39:24.695 --> 00:39:28.541
Well, it's nearly impossible for some people to just open up right on the spot.

00:39:28.541 --> 00:39:36.878
So it's always interesting to see what the best approach is at what time period for a specific individual and also their communication style.

00:39:36.878 --> 00:39:42.797
That's what I feel a huge disconnect is within companies leadership and therapy.

00:39:42.797 --> 00:39:55.204
Wherever somebody is in a controlled environment and they have a leadership that does not communicate differently with each individual, they, more so, are stuck in the knife hand mode.

00:39:55.204 --> 00:40:02.144
If you are listening, the knife hand mode is the drill sergeant or the army guy just in your face pointing, or the alcoholic parent screaming.

00:40:02.144 --> 00:40:08.838
So that different approach of speaking to them like a human or pulling them aside instead of embarrassing them in front of the team.

00:40:09.621 --> 00:40:20.460
But it's crazy to me how leadership training is so rare where us military guys, or even like sports coaches, teach corporate America and they're like, wow, this is some groundbreaking stuff.

00:40:20.460 --> 00:40:25.760
But internally we're like wait, like no, no wonder you guys have such high turnover rate.

00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:26.563
What do you expect?

00:40:26.563 --> 00:40:28.717
But again, it doesn't click for some.

00:40:28.717 --> 00:40:30.443
But that's where we come into play.

00:40:30.443 --> 00:40:35.780
But it's just crazy how a lot of people, companies, organizations just over complicate things.

00:40:35.780 --> 00:40:38.947
They think super high level and we just bring it down.

00:40:38.947 --> 00:40:39.797
Simplistic.

00:40:39.797 --> 00:40:41.079
Just follow these steps.

00:40:41.079 --> 00:40:52.547
Let's elevate the team's morale, your own morale, and then we can start to go deeper, opposed to just this high level which they can't absorb it or they can't take action on it, or they just think it's just fluff.

00:40:52.547 --> 00:40:53.469
Well, it's not going to work.

00:40:53.469 --> 00:40:59.431
So it just always has blown my mind how good leadership is so rare nowadays.

00:40:59.431 --> 00:41:00.635
And it makes sense.

00:41:02.201 --> 00:41:03.244
No, I totally agree.

00:41:03.244 --> 00:41:06.157
Yeah, getting back on what we were talking about before, yeah, yeah, I was.

00:41:06.157 --> 00:41:34.525
There's several stories of um, some ultra marathoners that you know they're running first hundred mile races and I've got a couple of clients that have done it and they said that like things open up, at like at 75, 76 miles, 77, 80 miles, 76 miles, 77, 80 miles, they like emotions, just like pour out things they've never, ever thought about before in their life and it all comes pouring to the top and they get really emotional.

00:41:34.525 --> 00:41:35.750
But it's so cleansing, like it lets it out.

00:41:35.750 --> 00:41:39.380
But it lets it out in such a healthy way and like can't figure out.

00:41:39.981 --> 00:41:45.240
One woman was telling me she couldn't figure out whether she was laughing or crying Cause just, it was just this outpouring of emotion.

00:41:45.240 --> 00:41:54.365
But she said, when she was done and she was able to reflect on what, everything that was going on in her head, that it was a very like she said, cleansing.

00:41:54.365 --> 00:41:57.876
It was like all that stuff, all that extra stress that she's been holding onto.

00:41:57.876 --> 00:42:02.467
But then when you're done and you've let it all go, now it's even keel.

00:42:02.467 --> 00:42:16.777
It's almost like starting from scratch again, like a clean slate, and I think that's what you're talking about here is you get them into those winds, stacking the winds, and then you can sit them down and go okay, well, let's talk about this, and then they get that clean slate exam.

00:42:16.777 --> 00:42:19.802
Yeah, so I, yeah, that's amazing.

00:42:19.802 --> 00:42:21.846
So, all right.

00:42:21.846 --> 00:42:24.637
So, university of West Florida is that what you said?

00:42:25.139 --> 00:42:27.552
Yes, university of West Florida, that's in Pensacola, florida.

00:42:28.034 --> 00:42:29.280
Okay, so you stay kind of, did you?

00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:30.971
Did you stay at home while you were in school or did you go?

00:42:30.971 --> 00:42:31.514
Did you hit the-.

00:42:31.514 --> 00:42:32.907
No, I was on campus.

00:42:33.474 --> 00:42:39.507
Okay, yeah, I was on campus because of the Army ROTC program there.

00:42:40.248 --> 00:42:42.802
Okay, so it was Pensacola.

00:42:42.802 --> 00:42:44.637
Yeah, it's going to be a pretty big, decent program.

00:42:44.637 --> 00:42:48.681
When I was in ROTC, it wasn't the wasn't the biggest or the greatest program in the world.

00:42:48.681 --> 00:42:50.623
I mean, we got to do a lot of stuff but it wasn't.

00:42:50.623 --> 00:43:00.112
You know, it wasn't great, it wasn't something that it wasn't even didn't even meet as often as like you'd be if you were in a fraternity or something, right, yes, so I imagine.

00:43:00.112 --> 00:43:12.568
So the Army ROTC actually puts you up is is that you stayed in, not I wouldn't say a barracks, but it was a dorm, that was yes dorms, apartments, really nice apartments on campus, so military paid for it, plus tuition and fees, oh nice.

00:43:12.887 --> 00:43:19.826
I had the other scholarship which helped, like pay for food and everything, so I wanted to just take advantage of that and just be on campus and in rtc.

00:43:19.826 --> 00:43:33.682
Now in army rtc at least you have class two days a week, it's for two, two hours, and then you also have PT five, actually three mornings a week, so Monday, wednesday, friday, and so I would just like walk to formation and all that.

00:43:33.682 --> 00:43:40.574
So it was just convenient and it all worked out, because I also worked at the gym there as well, so I could just walk to work and I walked to classes.

00:43:40.574 --> 00:43:43.362
So that's my real reason for joining.

00:43:44.565 --> 00:43:49.394
Perfect, so did you.

00:43:49.394 --> 00:43:50.336
Were you one of the guys that ended up?

00:43:50.336 --> 00:43:51.378
Did you go to basic?

00:43:51.478 --> 00:43:53.001
between junior and senior year.

00:43:53.001 --> 00:43:54.704
No, so I did not go to OCS.

00:43:54.704 --> 00:43:57.737
So I actually got out of ROTC and I went national guard.

00:43:57.737 --> 00:44:00.844
Because I got introduced to some leadership.

00:44:00.844 --> 00:44:04.940
We really clicked and I got a clear path to what decisions I wanted to make.

00:44:04.940 --> 00:44:12.463
So my original thought was criminology, military intelligence, army officer go that route.

00:44:12.463 --> 00:44:17.844
But with the route that I was on and working with so many people throughout college, I was like I think I'm onto something.

00:44:17.844 --> 00:44:19.539
I work with so many people who have these skills.

00:44:19.539 --> 00:44:25.903
I can't just say, hey, I'm putting this on pause, I'm just going to go active and the heck with training or coaching.

00:44:25.903 --> 00:44:27.228
So I saw a clear path.

00:44:27.228 --> 00:44:29.322
So I went five years active.

00:44:29.322 --> 00:44:32.204
So my junior year I did go to basic.

00:44:32.204 --> 00:44:42.838
And that's when I went to basic, did five years active and then I finished with the last five years of Army National Guard in the state of Florida and in basic.

00:44:43.159 --> 00:44:46.847
Going back to what you're mentioning earlier with the different drill sergeants, mine were similar.

00:44:46.847 --> 00:44:47.668
I had three.

00:44:47.668 --> 00:44:52.786
You had the African-American female who wouldn't stop screaming.

00:44:52.786 --> 00:44:57.545
She was just like an annoyance in your head but she would smoke the shit out of you.

00:44:57.545 --> 00:45:01.202
Then you had the very calm infantry guy.

00:45:01.202 --> 00:45:03.047
That had everything you could think of on his chest.

00:45:03.047 --> 00:45:12.409
He was like five foot two, just chill White guy, just like Johnson go, and he would barely say anything when he was yelling.

00:45:12.409 --> 00:45:14.476
You had to have done something when he was yelling.

00:45:14.476 --> 00:45:17.202
And then our lead instructor was a Filipino.

00:45:17.202 --> 00:45:25.518
He was one of the best leaders in the army I've ever met and to this day we keep in touch via Facebook and all that and just an awesome guy.

00:45:25.518 --> 00:45:30.949
He's a master sergeant now but just his leadership style was one of the best things.

00:45:30.949 --> 00:45:34.405
So those three different is like the three headed beast.

00:45:34.405 --> 00:45:41.601
You had the country black girl from outside of Memphis, just screaming and yelling get you in crazy shape and she would teach you really well.

00:45:41.601 --> 00:45:44.925
And then you had the infantry guy was really calm and confident.

00:45:44.925 --> 00:45:47.483
He would teach you everything in the field with the weapons.

00:45:47.483 --> 00:45:54.389
And then the overall well-rounded leader just calm and could also snap into place was the Filipino drill sergeant.

00:45:54.389 --> 00:45:56.382
So I just love that aspect of it.

00:45:56.954 --> 00:46:00.201
But with day one and two, shark week as a whole.

00:46:00.201 --> 00:46:12.858
Shark week, essentially for non-military, is when you get off the bus and all the drill sergeants run up to you, so that first week you're just like a chicken with a head cut off during the headlights, look, don't know where to go because they're just playing a mental game.

00:46:12.858 --> 00:46:21.556
At that time period, when I first got off the bus and seven were surrounding me and just screaming, it took everything within me not to bust out laughing.

00:46:21.556 --> 00:46:23.099
The reason why?

00:46:23.099 --> 00:46:29.782
Because in my head I was like my five foot two mother would destroy all of you and my dad would freaking throw y'all through a wall.

00:46:29.782 --> 00:46:34.327
And I was just like, wow, they prepared me for this because it was crazier at home than right now.

00:46:34.327 --> 00:46:38.820
I was like, and I get paid to be here and I get free food Awesome, this is a walk in the park.

00:46:38.820 --> 00:46:55.018
So, honestly, the mental and physical aspect I actually really enjoyed basic Because of the upbringing and because I love the challenge, and I was like, wow, and in those moments it clicked and I said, all right, our beautiful home was the training ground for all this.

00:46:55.297 --> 00:47:03.583
So, and I, you know when you're, when they can see that you're not scared, they'll choose somebody to be the platoon guard.

00:47:03.583 --> 00:47:07.364
So they chose me because I was just calm in those environments and then I, everything just started to click.

00:47:07.364 --> 00:47:07.992
I'm like I'm supposed to be the platoon guard.

00:47:07.992 --> 00:47:09.871
So they chose me because I was just calm in those environments and then I, everything just started to click.

00:47:09.871 --> 00:47:12.148
I'm like I'm supposed to be here, and then I would see the male or female soldier.

00:47:12.228 --> 00:47:14.092
I went to Fort Jackson, so we have male and females.

00:47:14.092 --> 00:47:17.523
Some would call it relaxing Jackson, but we still got our ass kicked.

00:47:17.523 --> 00:47:25.686
But in general is that the individual who's 18, 19 years old that is scared out of their mind has never witnessed anything like this.

00:47:25.686 --> 00:47:27.789
I could see my younger version in them.

00:47:27.789 --> 00:47:32.012
Then I'd approach them differently and then the same thing with, like the people that grew up in a rough home.

00:47:32.012 --> 00:47:33.112
You could see that they were calm.

00:47:33.132 --> 00:47:52.860
But I just love seeing the dichotomy of different communication styles, different ethnicities, different people's reactions to the stress lack of sleep, dehydration, being hungry and those environments I feel like the best leaders truly thrive in those, because you're not worried about yourself in that moment.

00:47:52.860 --> 00:48:00.547
Yes, I'm tired, yes, I'm dehydrated, yes, I feel everything everyone else feels, but you have soldiers that depend on you and another version of you just takes over.

00:48:00.547 --> 00:48:08.443
And that's my favorite part of that basic or any other army training school where you feel just you can't go anymore.

00:48:08.443 --> 00:48:14.643
You have a seven, three days, but something just takes over, and for two more days you just go hard and lead by example, and it's just incredible.

00:48:15.746 --> 00:48:20.360
Yeah, no, I agree, I, it was after basic.

00:48:20.360 --> 00:48:25.523
When I finished basic I felt like it was the greatest thing ever.

00:48:25.523 --> 00:48:32.760
Now I went to Fort Sill with the field artillery, oh yeah, and I was one of the last.

00:48:32.760 --> 00:48:36.489
All male classes, okay, right.

00:48:36.489 --> 00:48:39.063
So my whole battery back then.

00:48:39.063 --> 00:48:41.010
You know battery, and then you know platoons.

00:48:41.010 --> 00:48:45.605
My whole battery was guys and all the drill sergeants were guys.

00:48:45.605 --> 00:48:47.920
So they beat up on you a little bit.

00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:48.742
Oh, you know what I mean.

00:48:48.742 --> 00:48:49.385
They didn't have a problem.

00:48:49.405 --> 00:48:51.300
Yeah, broke my hand during BRM.

00:48:51.300 --> 00:48:53.346
I was trying to.

00:48:53.346 --> 00:48:55.242
You know, you're supposed to keep it nice and set.

00:48:55.242 --> 00:48:59.346
The barrel is supposed to be nice and steady in your hand, right, yes, and I was.

00:48:59.346 --> 00:49:03.340
I just needed just like just a couple millimeters.

00:49:03.340 --> 00:49:16.007
So I just up, like this, and I just kind of picked the better up, just enough, and drill Sergeant Marshman saw me and he came over and he goes, put that back in your hand and he steps on the barrel right onto my hand and literally crushed my hand.

00:49:16.007 --> 00:49:23.865
So but finished out BRM because I wasn't saying anything, I wasn't going to be one of the sick, lame and lazy that was going to go get a profile.

00:49:23.865 --> 00:49:25.722
That wasn't happening there.

00:49:25.722 --> 00:49:27.795
But, interesting enough.

00:49:27.815 --> 00:49:32.105
When I went to ait, I went to fort jackson, okay, interesting.

00:49:32.105 --> 00:49:42.458
So yeah, so I was there for ait and I'll never forget it because, like you said, they'd already been doing um, co-ed military, co-ed basic, so they'd already been around.

00:49:42.458 --> 00:49:56.003
And I get there and there's two of us coming from fort sill into fort jackson, we in, but with all the traveling and stuff, we don't get there till like 9 pm and all everybody's like scattered around the barracks and they're all in pts and stuff.

00:49:56.003 --> 00:50:00.338
And we're, because we come from fort sill, class a's, everything's perfect.

00:50:00.338 --> 00:50:17.617
We're at parade rest, sitting in there waiting for the sergeant that's on cq to assign us a bunk you know rack, and this girl comes out, pts are like, you know, like the zipper's halfway down and hood's not right and her stuff's she's got.

00:50:17.617 --> 00:50:27.170
She's at this very weird off kilter at ease position and she's like and the sergeant telling her something to do and she goes.

00:50:27.670 --> 00:50:44.688
But sergeant and I look back at my friend, where we are at perfect military bearing, yeah, straight up, and I looked at him and I was like is going on, this is not right, this is not where we came to.

00:50:44.688 --> 00:50:48.378
And that was like culture shock for me, being that the military was in that way.

00:50:48.378 --> 00:50:57.891
But once I got out of Fort Jackson and I got to permanent duty in Korea, went back to being full military bearing, so I was grateful for that.

00:50:57.891 --> 00:50:59.335
So all right.

00:50:59.335 --> 00:51:06.487
So you ended up going to basic between junior and senior year and then you get out, you go to AIT right outside of college.

00:51:07.088 --> 00:51:13.085
I went to AIT in Fort Gordon, georgia, right, and that's where a lot of satellite communication is.

00:51:13.085 --> 00:51:16.661
You have some of the biggest satellites there and good training school.

00:51:16.661 --> 00:51:29.550
So Fort Gordon, georgia, that's where I went to AIT, and a lot of camo guys, a lot of SF guys, rangers, are there because some of us will train with them, because obviously they need a secondary and primary.

00:51:29.550 --> 00:51:31.041
But I loved it there.

00:51:31.041 --> 00:51:39.686
Honestly, it was a good experience because I got to get back in my zone and because of basic, I actually lost 20 to 25 pounds in basic.

00:51:39.686 --> 00:51:43.644
So and it was like all muscle because you're not hitting the weights.

00:51:43.644 --> 00:51:48.981
So, like internally, I was like I'm shriveling up, I'm becoming that skinny kid, I'm not going back.

00:51:50.463 --> 00:51:57.347
And so, ait, I was just going to class, going to DFAC and going to the gym, and everybody was like you want to go to the hotel party?

00:51:57.347 --> 00:52:00.061
I was like nope, and they're like man, you're in such a zone.

00:52:00.061 --> 00:52:01.326
I was like you don't know how happy I am.

00:52:01.326 --> 00:52:08.159
I can just walk to the gym, walk to the barracks, go to class.

00:52:08.159 --> 00:52:09.144
And I was like I'm actually enjoying this.

00:52:09.184 --> 00:52:14.625
And then I'd go to like Hooters or Buffalo Wild Wings on the weekend, some nights, to watch a game or a fight or something, but besides that, like I didn't party, didn't drink or anything.

00:52:14.625 --> 00:52:30.253
And it's just funny now in hindsight that some of my current active clients I actually met way back when they're like dude, you're still like in that same zone and they're like I didn't tell you that back then but you impressed me every time you turned down a drink and I was like I wasn't judging, I just didn't want to do stuff.

00:52:30.253 --> 00:52:32.177
And it's just funny because I don't think about it.

00:52:32.177 --> 00:52:40.306
And nowadays you're like man that I always thought about that and now I'm like good, I'm glad I didn't give into the peer pressure.

00:52:41.268 --> 00:53:06.875
Right, no-transcript.

00:53:06.875 --> 00:53:15.001
I bulked all out and then got to AIT and I did the same thing and free time when I had, when I was able to do it, we just went to the gym and then all of a sudden shredded out.

00:53:15.001 --> 00:53:19.757
So when I got home after AIT man, it was, that was probably the best I've ever looked.

00:53:19.757 --> 00:53:20.277
It was great.

00:53:20.277 --> 00:53:25.481
And we were talking about this earlier about the generations and stuff and how they're going through.

00:53:25.481 --> 00:53:30.103
You know kind of well, we didn't mention the word, but it kind of like a victimization.

00:53:30.103 --> 00:53:42.652
I feel like here and I've said this before to a lot of people and I think like every 18 year old they'd have to go to, whether they go to the military, whether they serve or not, they should all have to fricking go to basic.

00:53:43.172 --> 00:53:56.065
Exactly, I totally agree because, especially if they don't have a good home life and no structure and I totally agree with that like I work with some teenagers where I'd wonder, like how do you not know these basic things?

00:53:56.065 --> 00:54:00.137
Like I love coaching people but sometimes like where's the common sense?

00:54:00.137 --> 00:54:13.106
Right, and then but I can't be mad at the teen it's mom, dad's, foster parent, grandma, whoever was their guardian angel or, excuse me, their guardian in that household just makes me wonder, like what was the shift?

00:54:13.106 --> 00:54:22.534
Because I'm 34, so I grew up on dial-up internet to change it for the fax machine, and then we went through Facebook and Wi-Fi and et cetera, et cetera, so we had like the best of both worlds.

00:54:22.534 --> 00:54:42.655
So now this new generation, a lot of them do work hard, but the ones that are coddled too much best way to put it it's just scary to see like where some of them are going of not having basic life skills, whether it's common sense or whether it's just analytical thinking.

00:54:43.978 --> 00:54:59.135
But that's where good leaders come into play, because if without good leaders this next generation would be, not all of them will be screwed, but a lot of them would because of just the lack of training, lack of good upbringing, lack of discipline and even general respect.

00:54:59.135 --> 00:55:15.224
But the ones that do have a good head on their shoulders, they are working really hard, very intelligent, especially with the tech space and cyber security and all that, but the big picture it's it's rare to see when they're really focused and have I'm in the south even just manners.

00:55:15.224 --> 00:55:17.916
Thank you, yes, ma'am, no man like that's so rare.

00:55:17.916 --> 00:55:21.954
With this generation in my head, I see these kids out when I'm at the mall and I'm like man.

00:55:21.954 --> 00:55:24.541
My parents would slap the shit if I said that.

00:55:24.561 --> 00:55:27.807
I said that oh no, I agree, I agree.

00:55:27.807 --> 00:55:31.800
So you get out of Fort Gordon, when was your first duty station.

00:55:32.856 --> 00:55:36.405
So I get out of Fort Gordon and then I go to Pensacola, florida.

00:55:36.405 --> 00:55:38.724
So my Army unit was Pensacola, florida.

00:55:38.724 --> 00:55:42.985
Pensacola is actually known as the Navy, as the main Navy base.

00:55:42.985 --> 00:55:51.449
So you have, the Blue Angels are from there, so a lot of people are familiar with the Blue Angel Airshow, the jets, and so they started having army there as well.

00:55:51.635 --> 00:55:56.367
So I was at an army attachment there for satellite communications and then we would travel a lot.

00:55:56.367 --> 00:56:02.677
So we would go to Central and South America do exhibitions for like three to six months and it was just different training environments.

00:56:02.677 --> 00:56:05.242
So personally I've never been to the Middle East.

00:56:05.242 --> 00:56:08.989
I was never deployed to Iraq, afghanistan, kuwait or anywhere.

00:56:08.989 --> 00:56:22.278
My buddies were, but my unit detached we went to Central South America and we'd also go to South Florida a lot to give commo to South Com, to some of the SF, and it was very interesting.

00:56:22.278 --> 00:56:23.202
I learned a lot.

00:56:23.382 --> 00:56:26.762
But I was surprised that I went South instead of East or West, but I was in Pensacola.

00:56:26.762 --> 00:56:28.704
Surprised that I went South instead of East or West, but I was in Pensacola.

00:56:28.704 --> 00:56:41.923
And then I would bounce around to different training schools, but the majority of my time was in the Pensacola area and also at Camp Blanding is a small training base outside of Jacksonville, florida, and we would spend a lot of time there.

00:56:41.923 --> 00:56:44.942
So army active duty and guard are there a lot.

00:56:44.942 --> 00:56:52.887
It's completely empty when nobody's there training, so everything is super dusty and it's super sketch, but I have a lot of memories there.

00:56:52.887 --> 00:57:05.739
It's in the middle of nowhere, so I did air assault school there, a lot of other schools and so, with me being satellite communications and on the verge to going guard, I was bouncing throughout florida and then going to Central and South America.

00:57:07.762 --> 00:57:12.869
Sweet yeah, so you got, you got some good experience with the military.

00:57:12.869 --> 00:57:17.581
Yeah, yeah, I don't know where I would have been if I, if I didn't, if I wasn't in the military.

00:57:17.581 --> 00:57:23.650
When I went, when I decided to go and I went a little bit later, I had already I already been to college and I'd already well, I guess the same thing as you.

00:57:23.650 --> 00:57:24.851
Yeah, basically when.

00:57:24.851 --> 00:57:26.815
So we were a little, both of us were a little bit older.

00:57:26.815 --> 00:57:28.318
When we finally went basic.

00:57:28.878 --> 00:57:30.280
Oh yeah, oh, that was the one thing.

00:57:30.280 --> 00:57:31.523
I never that that way.

00:57:31.523 --> 00:57:31.762
You would.

00:57:31.762 --> 00:57:32.684
You had talked about that earlier.

00:57:32.684 --> 00:57:41.875
I remember these kids at 18 years old no drill sergeant's gonna he, I'm just gonna laugh in his face right and I was like, okay, let's see, let's see you do that.

00:57:41.875 --> 00:57:44.077
Yeah, never seen such scared kids in my life.

00:57:44.077 --> 00:57:45.798
Oh yeah, they're about to pee themselves.

00:57:46.039 --> 00:57:46.880
Exactly.

00:57:46.880 --> 00:57:54.306
I had one guy that had a huge Chevy symbol and some other gang stuff on his tats and he's like I'm Robin Bush Gooden.

00:57:54.306 --> 00:57:58.731
He was crying and I was like I told you, man, I was like that street stuff doesn't matter here.

00:57:58.731 --> 00:58:20.068
I was like dude, yeah.

00:58:20.068 --> 00:58:25.851
So you ended up there for five years and you decided to get out the 12 hours from Pensacola excuse me, from Miami to Pensacola.

00:58:25.851 --> 00:58:30.282
A lot of people don't realize that Florida is actually that big, so I would drive all throughout.

00:58:30.282 --> 00:58:33.480
And then I also had a place in Orlando, so I would like stop.

00:58:33.480 --> 00:58:42.967
And so during that time period I was in Miami, I was doing, I was growing my coaching business, a lot of in-person bootcamps and a lot of life coaching.

00:58:42.967 --> 00:58:51.469
Life coaching was 90% online and a lot of the in-person coaching was bootcamps and one-on-one and I was guard then.

00:58:51.469 --> 00:58:58.780
So I was obviously weekend warrior for every couple of weeks or whatever school that I would go to and I was just dedicated on building the coaching business.

00:58:59.402 --> 00:59:03.717
And last but not least, the biggest reason I went to Miami is I pursued modeling and acting.

00:59:03.717 --> 00:59:14.199
I was with Elite Model Management, the modeling agency, because I wanted to see if I could become an actor and long story short, had some cool experiences, traveled to different countries.

00:59:14.199 --> 00:59:19.882
But you realize quickly you can't get to the next level without doing weird stuff.

00:59:19.882 --> 00:59:25.143
So I made it as far as I could being myself showed up on time in shape, helped the team out.

00:59:25.143 --> 00:59:30.023
But then you realize that the rabbit holes that most of us know about are definitely real.

00:59:30.023 --> 00:59:41.001
So I hit the ceiling in the industry just being myself, and I was like, all right, in order for me to get hired in this industry, you're gonna have to do some sketchy stuff or be around uh, very dark people.

00:59:41.001 --> 00:59:45.411
So I was like I have discernment and I have strong faith.

00:59:45.411 --> 00:59:45.893
I believe in god and jesus christ.

00:59:45.893 --> 00:59:46.865
So it was like I, I have discernment and I have strong faith.

00:59:46.865 --> 00:59:46.985
I believe in God and Jesus Christ.

00:59:46.985 --> 00:59:54.704
I can feel the shift happening and I need to get out of this industry and I never did drugs or anything but just being around some of these people.

00:59:54.704 --> 01:00:07.065
So, like some examples, some amazing things I did in the industry I was in a couple of commercials with Samsung for their smart gear watch and was doing lunges running on the stadium like doing some awesome commercials.

01:00:07.065 --> 01:00:10.163
I was only in there for like two seconds, but awesome experiences.

01:00:10.163 --> 01:00:28.077
And then I kept going up and traveling the States, getting gigs in different countries, and then just after a while I would get invited to the Hollywood parties, the New York penthouse parties, and then you'd see the sketchy stuff that's happening there and I was like all right, this is not for me happening there.

01:00:28.077 --> 01:00:29.159
And I was like all right, this is not for me.

01:00:29.159 --> 01:00:31.724
And so this is a guy growing up in alcoholic, drug family and coming military.

01:00:31.724 --> 01:00:33.427
We're clean, we're focused and all that.

01:00:33.494 --> 01:00:34.398
Then you go into the industry.

01:00:34.398 --> 01:00:42.036
You're excited, you're like all right, I'm going to show up and I'm going to study this dialogue, I'm going to do this scripts to see how far I can go in the industry and act and model.

01:00:42.036 --> 01:00:45.318
And then you realize really quickly how political it is and how dark it is.

01:00:45.318 --> 01:00:48.940
And you're like all right, those rabbit holes that I went down as a kid are definitely real.

01:00:48.940 --> 01:00:52.724
So then I was like, well, at least now I know I've faced it.

01:00:52.724 --> 01:00:55.485
And then I'm going all in on the coaching business.

01:00:56.126 --> 01:01:03.932
So a huge life takeaway for people is to whatever your conscience is guiding you to do, just go for it and see what happens.

01:01:03.932 --> 01:01:08.978
Just go for it and see what happens.

01:01:08.978 --> 01:01:10.182
I went for the army, went for coaching.

01:01:10.182 --> 01:01:11.347
I wanted to see what I could do with modeling or acting.

01:01:11.347 --> 01:01:13.735
I saw that it was going to go down a weird path and I said you know what?

01:01:13.735 --> 01:01:17.226
Everything always comes back to the basics empowering other people.

01:01:17.226 --> 01:01:19.639
That fulfills me more than anything.

01:01:19.639 --> 01:01:24.217
So just to share with people is whatever truly fulfills you at your core.

01:01:24.217 --> 01:01:27.226
Do more of that thing, even if you don't know how to get there.

01:01:27.226 --> 01:01:29.331
Right now things are going to come together.

01:01:29.331 --> 01:01:38.909
You might want to go different routes, try some different things out, but if something's always gravitating you back onto your track of what your deep passion is, that's what I truly feel.

01:01:38.909 --> 01:01:42.378
That God whatever that individual believes in has you here.

01:01:42.378 --> 01:01:56.581
For that reason and I truly believe that my reason is just to flip my pain into fuel help heal other people which helps them win, creates a positive ripple effect for people in their life and then also heals our own inner child.

01:01:57.244 --> 01:02:00.677
Where to win, and not in a selfish way, but you probably relate to that.

01:02:00.677 --> 01:02:02.262
You see a client thriving.

01:02:02.262 --> 01:02:03.985
He just got engaged.

01:02:03.985 --> 01:02:05.389
She lost 20 pounds.

01:02:05.389 --> 01:02:07.981
They just crossed the finish line, beating their time by 10 minutes.

01:02:07.981 --> 01:02:08.623
But it's deeper.

01:02:08.623 --> 01:02:08.903
For them.

01:02:08.903 --> 01:02:09.505
They're like man.

01:02:09.545 --> 01:02:14.806
10 years ago I was drinking out of divorce and it's always the deeper aspect where you're getting chills.

01:02:14.806 --> 01:02:20.476
You're almost tearing up seeing that text message and you're like, oh man, so that's definitely one of the best things.

01:02:20.476 --> 01:02:21.958
And then you think back on your younger version.

01:02:21.958 --> 01:02:33.967
You're like, damn, we were that close to quitting or that close to pivoting or that close to getting into corporate America or whatever thought we had to go, or we thought we were going to go because somebody said that's the safe route.

01:02:33.967 --> 01:02:35.547
You need to go that safe route.

01:02:35.547 --> 01:02:39.512
So I'm just happy that I never went the route that others wanted for me.

01:02:39.512 --> 01:02:44.478
I wanted to do army, I wanted to test out the industry and I wanted to coach.

01:02:44.478 --> 01:02:48.186
And I'm glad I did all three, because most people are like you can't do all those things, you can't do this and can't do that.

01:02:48.186 --> 01:02:52.882
I was like F this, I'm going to be the monopoly, excuse me.

01:02:52.882 --> 01:02:57.597
I'm going to be the analogy of just facing what you want to face and going your own path.

01:02:58.458 --> 01:03:02.262
Yeah no, and then, and you did, and you're only 34.

01:03:02.262 --> 01:03:05.166
So there's a lot more avenues for you to go.

01:03:05.166 --> 01:03:08.050
So I'm looking forward to seeing where you end up.

01:03:08.050 --> 01:03:15.016
But I am totally.

01:03:15.016 --> 01:03:15.938
I'm excited for everybody.

01:03:15.938 --> 01:03:21.396
If you're you know, I would tell everybody here that you need to at least go check out fit with Derek and you see it on the screen, or not at D E R I C?

01:03:21.396 --> 01:03:23.840
K fit with Derekcom.

01:03:23.840 --> 01:03:24.581
Go check it out.

01:03:24.581 --> 01:03:29.735
He's got this amazing video that he talks about on the front page.

01:03:29.735 --> 01:03:38.780
Listen to that and then scroll down and take a look at all the testimonials and read some of them, because they will light you up.

01:03:38.780 --> 01:03:43.268
So remember that's fitwithderekcom D-E-R-I-C-K.

01:03:43.268 --> 01:03:45.617
And I'll put that in the show notes.

01:03:45.617 --> 01:03:48.143
And Derek, yeah, thank you.

01:03:48.143 --> 01:03:51.882
Thank you very much, and I'm like, and I'm telling you everybody, you need to go check it out.

01:03:52.463 --> 01:03:53.606
But yeah, thank you.

01:03:54.335 --> 01:03:55.960
Yeah, thank you for being on the podcast.

01:03:55.960 --> 01:03:56.621
I appreciate it.

01:03:56.621 --> 01:04:06.184
I think a lot of people are going to see a lot of similarities with some of the things that you know, you went through and were able to accomplish and take.

01:04:06.184 --> 01:04:23.309
You took, you know some of the, you took a adversity and basically you know and then just turn that into an empowerment and I am, I'm grateful yeah, I'm definitely grateful that you're they were able to spend some time and grateful to know you, because definitely we need people like you out there.

01:04:23.309 --> 01:04:25.661
You know, I really appreciate it, brad.

01:04:26.099 --> 01:04:29.099
I just love powerful conversations, especially with other veterans.

01:04:29.099 --> 01:04:37.686
Just good to get connected and talk about topics that matter, instead of just yeah, tom, brady, kobe, mj, yeah, who's doing this?

01:04:37.766 --> 01:04:49.384
it's like I don't care no, and I'm hoping that, uh, maybe somewhere, you know, down the line, we'll meet up again and we'll literally have a discussion based on, like training, science or something, as we start to morph this podcast.

01:04:49.384 --> 01:04:51.507
So thank you again.

01:04:51.507 --> 01:04:52.869
I appreciate it.

01:04:52.869 --> 01:05:05.726
I appreciate you, brad, thank you and for all of you out there, don't forget, you know, go ahead and share, like whatever, whichever platform you're looking on, and we will see you in the next episode.

01:05:05.726 --> 01:05:06.829
Thanks for listening.

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