Sustainable Weight Loss and Emotional Healing with Renee Jones

Brad Minus: [00:00:00] And welcome back to another episode of Life Changing Challenges. And I'm still your host, Brad Minus. And today I am so lucky and honored to have Renee Jones with me. She's an author, she's a coach, she's a speaker, and she has really dug deep into yo yo dieting and how to keep you from going through those challenges.

Renee, how you doing today? 

Renee Jones: I'm doing well. Thank you, Brad. How are you? 

Brad Minus: I am excellent. And I'm very excited to have you on. So this conversation is going to be wonderful, but first, can you tell us a little bit about your childhood, maybe the compliment of your family, where you grew up, brothers and sisters, and what was it like to be Renee as a kid?

Renee Jones: Oh, dear. So I have one brother, we are a year and 13 days apart. My parents, planned me, but I was about two years early. And I have been rather on timer early ever since. My parents were teachers. My father was, [00:01:00] let's see, when I was born, he was the football coach, janitor, math, teacher, bus driver.

And I think he was also the assistant principal. It was a very small school, 

Brad Minus: obviously, 

Renee Jones: but as he was working his way up, Then we moved from to different towns along the way. So by the time I was 14, I had lived in, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. That was my seventh house. 

Brad Minus: What? 

Renee Jones: Houses, 

Brad Minus: If he had all those jobs, obviously he wasn't military, so 

Renee Jones: No, it was just moving up in the school systems.

You had to move in order to. Get a better position. 

Brad Minus: So he was in the same state, 

Renee Jones: yeah. Yeah. It was all in Texas and then around the Dallas Fort Worth area, North around more than in, when I was born, I was born in grapevine, Texas, which was a very small town. The nearest birthing [00:02:00] hospital was actually in Arlington, which was a good half hour away.

Now I live in Arlington and my father said, you haven't gone very far in your life, girl. I said, no, just around the world and back. Come on, dad. He became a principal of a small school and then he was working to be in a larger school. Finally, when they landed, he was the high school principal and my mother was the English teacher.

And it was a small school system. So my brother, my father, my mother, and I were all in the same building for three years. And he was our principal. So it was like, you can't go anywhere and misbehave. 

Brad Minus: And then of course the gossip from the students themselves would somehow make its way to mom and dad, right?

Renee Jones: No, we had to behave ourselves. 

Brad Minus: Did you do any, extracurriculars in high school? 

Renee Jones: I was one year in the drum corps because the school didn't have a band yet. That I'm telling you this, my high [00:03:00] school, my graduating class was 56 students. The town was so small.

It's only been in the last decade that they got a stop light.

Brad Minus: Okay. I didn't even know those towns. I mean, I know I've been through some small towns and stuff, but it's kind of like a small town, a suburb of a big town, just that small town. What did you walk? Did you walk down the streets of your town and know everybody? 

Renee Jones: They knew me whether or not I knew them.

I knew a lot of people and there were a lot of people that were in and out. I did, I knew everyone on our street, 

Brad Minus: I always wondered about that. Cause you know, you see it in the movies and stuff where they're in this small town and everybody's got this little family, like atmosphere and they help each other and blah, blah, blah.

And I always, you know, I didn't know that can't exist. That's in the movies, you know, but it sounds like, Yeah. It sounds like how, so Arlington's a pretty big town. 

Renee Jones: Yes, it is. 

Brad Minus: So how did you [00:04:00] feel about, growing up in the smaller town and then the bigger town, which, which would you prefer to live in? 

Renee Jones: I like access to big town things. But even, even now, I told my husband when we got married, we got married and he moved to, well, we both moved to Arlington cause we live in two different towns. But. I said, I have to have a backyard. I need space. My grandparents had a ranch, you know, I'm accustomed to space.

So, we've have a big backyard, which helps me, but he was. He moved, when he went to college, he moved out of the house. His family moved into when he was three. So he's not one to move around a lot. You know, we've, we've been in this house for 14 years and I'm like, love, we got to move, but we got, I don't know if I can be in one place that long.

Brad Minus: I hear you. I hear you. I spent, as an adult, I started moving around pretty much because, I was in the, coming out of college, it was moved across into Arizona from [00:05:00] Chicago and then, to the military. So then it was every three years. 

Renee Jones: Oh yeah. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. And then when we finally settled in here now, I feel the same way.

There was like ups and downs. I was like, sometimes it's like, I gotta get out of here. But then I'm like, well, I've got roots, I've got connections. I'm like, I don't know if I want to build that again. Did you go to school together? Did you go to the same college, you and your husband?

Renee Jones: No, we have a mixed marriage. He went to TCU and I went to Baylor. 

Brad Minus: Oh, aren't they? 

Renee Jones: Yes. 

Brad Minus: What did you study? 

Renee Jones: Secondary education. And I taught English and journalism for three years. 

Brad Minus: Not surprising, Renee. Not surprising. And Brad, 

Renee Jones: the thing is, I still teach. I have a soul, the soul of a teacher.

If I know how to do something and you're trying to figure it out, I am happy to figure it out with you. I love teaching various things. But I went, I had a little detour after my first year of teaching and I went to live in Wales for two years. 

Brad Minus: [00:06:00] Yes. 

Renee Jones: Yeah, no, 

Brad Minus: I'm going to have to do something about that.

Renee Jones: That's the normal response I get, Brad. I had an opportunity to coordinate activities. At a community center and I took it because it was such a fascinating option. 

Brad Minus: Just to spend some time in another country and get immersed in that. 

Renee Jones: Yeah, and that wasn't the, I went back for one summer to work, with a youth group and then went back again after I got my degree in counseling to open a counseling center for a church.

So I spent like four years in a summer In the UK between 1986 and 1994. 

Brad Minus: When you say counseling, can you, is there a specialty for counseling? How does that work? 

Renee Jones: Well, my degree is in marriage and family. But [00:07:00] I didn't necessarily want to be a therapist.

I wanted to work in churches. And I knew if you were on the staff of a church, you ended up doing a lot of counseling. I thought it was important to know what I was doing. 

Brad Minus: I get it. So did you grow up in a church? 

Renee Jones: Yeah. I was born in a nursery, I think.

My mother's family, there were like four ministers. My grandmother had nine brothers and sisters, and seven of them, four of those either were ministers or married ministers. So it was kind of, you know, in the veins, as it were.

Brad Minus: Yeah. Well, I think organized religion's got its drawbacks, but it's a wonderful thing if it's done with as little politics as possible. That's my personal opinion. I don't put my opinion on anybody else, but that's how I feel. 

Renee Jones: My father used to say [00:08:00] organized religion will make an atheist out of anybody.

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Renee Jones: But if it's done sincerely and, non judgmentally, it can be really good. It's a good, lifestyle. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. I grew up in the Jewish religion, my father kind of grew up in a bunch of different, religions because he basically would go with his friends, you know, here and there, but his mom kept saying, you know, my grandmother kept saying, no, we're Jewish, we're Jewish, we're Jewish.

But all my aunts and uncles, all his brothers and sisters, they all married into, a Christian religion, which is fine. So every time I went to a cousin's wedding, it was always in a church, in a Christian religion and the whole bit. I had girlfriends that I would attend church with, and then they would attend synagogue with me.

We were always, that was always a good thing. I tended to date people that actually had a brain and, we're open minded. So that was always good. But I will say that later on in life, I started getting involved with, children's [00:09:00] cancer. And I ended up going to quite a few funerals and this is where I really felt something, you know, obviously in the Jewish religion we have our ways.

It's a very inward. It's a very look. Judaism is a very looking inward type of religion. Yes, there's a community. Yes. You go about the same things, but it seems like, the Christian religions have something else. But here's where I felt like it was good. It was go to these funerals and a lot of times you would go up to the receiving line and you give your condolences to the parents or the family.

And then you just go sit. This was like the wig, you know, it was more of a wig, not necessarily a funeral. And you just go sit. I'd peer out over this whole thing and I'd see all these people and they were sitting there, just sitting there, nothing else was going on. No one's on phone. They're just sitting quietly.

There was an energy in the church that remained so peaceful. It was like you would go and sit and you would give all of your energy to [00:10:00] God. to the family, 

Renee Jones: your 

Brad Minus: condolences, everything else. And you could feel it. And that's where I felt like, okay, you know what? I kind of was rebelling against organized religion at the time.

And, you know, I mean, because of a lot of things in the news and in politics and everything else, when I sat there and I actually was all these people selflessly. Sitting, giving their energy and the energy swallowed the room up and it was so peaceful that I'm like, Okay, now I get it. Now I get it. This is the essence of religion right here.

Renee Jones: That's 

Brad Minus: where I got it. So you, recently you're, you have been going into, weight loss coaching and you've got a book out and we're going to talk about that here in a minute, but where did you start noticing that things were kind of going off the wire as far as your health goes?

Renee Jones: Ah, so my mother said that as a small child, I ate like a bird. A little [00:11:00] bit all day long and thank God for plastic wrap, right? Do you put the plate back in there? Long before microwaves, but nevermind. But when I got to school and I had to be more regimented, I guess something clicked for me cause I gained weight and my first diet.

When I looked around and I saw all these skinny little blondes and brunettes, and I was a chunky redhead, I thought, yeah, I gotta do something about this. So I had my first diet at 10. And my mother said, you're a little bit young, bless her, but if you learn now how to regulate what you eat, then that will help you later on.

Unfortunately, My family's not small in size, generally. You know, if they weren't in the church, they were farmers, ranchers, that sort of thing. So, we had to eat to sustain us while [00:12:00] we were out dealing with the cows and turkeys and all the rest of it. So she was not good at dieting. Blind leading the blind comes to mind.

That just started. My 40 year diet yo yo, I would lose a little bit. I'd gain it back. I'd lose maybe, 30 pounds. I'd gain it back. And I just did that. For 40 stinking years. 

Brad Minus: Was there any of that where you had tried these mainstream diets?

Renee Jones: Oh yeah. I've tried 'em all. I think there are two I haven't done. Of all the ones that I've ever heard of, well, now three, if you count Ozempic, but, yeah, I tried every one. Oh, that's a, that doesn't count. That's drug 

Brad Minus: induced. 

Renee Jones: Yeah. I tried every diet going. And it would work while we did it.

But when we got distracted or we were going to the ranch, [00:13:00] which was always a food mania, my grandmother was a great cook. And they liked to eat when they were together. Or, you know, something would happen and we'd just go off or we'd get to a point where I thought, okay, this is good enough.

And we would start the slow, steady rise again. I probably lost a ton. But I gained it all back incrementally. 

Brad Minus: And that's, the trend right now. 

Renee Jones: Absolutely. 

Brad Minus: The last time I checked, 89 percent of Americans were obese, overweight or obese. 

Renee Jones: I was checking this the other day and it's like 40 percent of Americans are obese.

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Renee Jones: 30% are just overweight. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. So 70%. Okay, so a little off, but which is 

Renee Jones: Who knows? 

Brad Minus: Right. 

Renee Jones: But, but the point is, you know, I go into Costco [00:14:00] yesterday and I'm just thinking how many thin to obese people there are, and it took me a good 10 minutes to find someone who wasn't overweight.

And I thought I was in there for a while I think I counted a hundred significantly overweight. I'm not talking to someone who's just carrying an extra 10, 15 pounds, but significantly overweight enough to notice. It was like, we're killing ourselves.

And we're killing our health system because so many of the, the issues come back to if they weren't overweight, it wouldn't be a problem. 

Brad Minus: I get that. I first started looking, in a lot of, airports. When I was traveling for races. So I'm an endurance coach. I train people to do marathons and, iron man's and ultra marathons and, obstacle course races and stuff.

Anyway. I'm an athlete myself. And I'd be traveling [00:15:00] to different races, either to coach or to race myself, a lot of airports. So I was walking into Tampa, which is where I live and unbelievable. The amount of people that were overweight or obese, right. And just like crazy go into Chicago. And people coming home and you can see that they're coming, they're coming away a lot skinnier, right?

People coming in skinnier. New York, skinnier, much skinnier. To me it should be the opposite because I'm like, hey, we have no, 310 days out of the year, it's sunny. There's no reason you can't get outside and walk. But yet, when I look at the airports and stuff, people coming back, I'm like, wow, this is, there's a lot of overweight people and that's amazing.

Whereas Chicago kind of makes sense because five months now I grew up in Chicago. Five months out of the year, it's fricking cold. 

Renee Jones: You 

Brad Minus: might not be able to get outside to move around. You might not have the wherewithal or the financial ability to go to a gym, you know, but yet when I was at [00:16:00] home much skinnier, much more fit.

So it doesn't make sense to me. The next place that I started to really look at it and this floored me. So I live in Tampa. I am an annual, Disney pass holder. 

Renee Jones: Okay. 

Brad Minus: Walking around Disney and seeing these kids. And when I went to Disney my first time in 1970s, it was like, Oh, let's go on this.

Let's go on this. And you can see all the kids were like that. The kids were brats because they wanted to keep going. 

Renee Jones: And 

Brad Minus: it was the adults that were tired. Like, Hey, we're going to go see a show for a little bit just to sit down there, watch, you know, you go to, the hall of presidents, and it's a 20 minute fricking presentation, right.

And that's their chance to sit down. So they would go on all these rides, sit in the lines, blah, blah, blah. Then they'd find some place to either eat or watch the show and that was the adults time to, it's the other way around. I got these little kids that are 10 years old going, Oh my God, can we please just sit down?

Oh, I'm a daddy mommy. I just want to sit down. Oh [00:17:00] my God. And the adults are like, what is going on? And I'm looking around going, you're at the most magical, happiest place on earth. And these kids want to go sit down. They want to eat. They want to sit down. And when you look at the kids.

You understand why. And it's just horrible. 

Renee Jones: Yes. The number of overweight children, obese children, is staggering. Not a good, precursor for the life ahead. 

Brad Minus: Exactly, exactly. But, I will say one thing about those kids. Wrongest thumbs in the world. Ha ha ha, yeah. Strongest thumbs in the world. Strong, yes. Ha ha ha.

So, getting back to what we were talking about, so all those diets, was there one you committed to that seemed to work better than others? 

Renee Jones: No, not at the time. Because there basically all [00:18:00] diets have some element of calorie restriction, 

when I did lose my weight, I used the conventional wisdom of the time, but I've since changed what I do. But it worked for me. It did work. It left me tired, hungry, and cranky all the time. 

Brad Minus: Okay. So let's, explain or define conventional wisdom? 

Renee Jones: Oh, you know, the, the food pyramid, low fat, all of that.

I'm five foot three. Okay. I'm a short little woman. Although my friend who's four 11 says I'm tall, bless her. This little body doesn't get a whole lot of calories, right? So in order to lose one pound a week. That meant every day, religiously, I could only take in 1200 calories.

If I took in 1400 calories, I would gain at least half a pound, if not a full pound, [00:19:00] right? But I was determined to lose my weight because I was about to turn 50. And as a woman, I was thinking, if I don't lose it now, it's way harder after 50 for a woman to lose weight. So, I did the low fat thing.

I stayed on track. I think in the end, at that time, I had been up, 50, 60 pounds. But I think I had lost some, and I only had about 20, 25 to lose to reach my goal weight. But I did it. But it was a grind. And, to maintain, I was still struggling with what I considered kind of a small amount of food because I had so tanked my metabolism.

All right, all those years of dieting, I got a little more, but not, not a lot [00:20:00] more. And about two years in, I thought there's got to be something better than this. And I started doing some research because Brad, when I realized that I was not doing well on my diet. The first time I thought I got to do some research and find out what's going on.

And I ran across this term that I was not aware of, but as soon as I heard it, I thought, Oh yeah, that's me. And that's the emotional eater. So two years later, when I was trying to maintain, it wasn't emotional eating. It was hunger. It was actual hunger. So I did some more research and I across this, this methodology, just a series of questions.

I Answered all the questions and the nutrition that it suggested for me, I thought that's never gone. But I thought, okay, I am at my goal. Wait, surely a [00:21:00] week of trying this will not be a problem. I lost two pounds that week. And my husband said, okay, I don't know what you're doing, but whatever you're doing now, this is what we want to do because I wasn't tired.

I wasn't hungry and I wasn't cranky. 

Brad Minus: And this was simply by asking yourself three questions. 

Renee Jones: No, a bunch of questions. It took me an hour. I mean, it's a whole thing that I now do with my clients, right? I call it your unique nutrition blueprint. Cause you know, we all have different thumbprints, right?

Well, apparently your iris and the shape of your ear is also distinctive to the person. So, if that's true, why wouldn't our bodily chemistry also be somewhat that way? So I just started following this and it was basically, fewer carbs, a little more fat, but it fit my body like a glove.

And in [00:22:00] fact, now, 10 years later, I still eat that way because it keeps me balanced. I don't have emotional ups and downs. It just fits me. It was like, yeah, I'm going to do that. That's what I'm doing. So that worked for me enough that I could make it a lifestyle. And I think that's where we gain the weight back is that we don't learn anything from the diet that works for us.

Brad Minus: Right. 

Renee Jones: Which gets us back to the place where we were before, if we don't manage it well. Yeah. So if we, If we learn something that, oh, this makes me satisfied for longer. I mean, a boiled egg versus Cap'n Crunch. I'd prefer the Cap'n Crunch, but I'll be hungry in 20 minutes if I have a boiled egg, if we learn that from what our experience, [00:23:00] then we can find our way to maintenance and then we can maintain. I've been the same way since October the 8th, 2012. 

Brad Minus: That's amazing. And I think, yeah, there's definitely something to be learned from that. I see what you're saying.

I've got about 15 people on my roster and it's a unique thing because, I've got people that are running anywhere from 30 to 70, 80 miles a week. And that's all fueled by carbohydrates. You can try the keto thing. You can try and move your body over to fueling by fat.

But, when it comes to speed and longevity, it just, takes so much longer to burn. to get the energy into the glycogen stores that I don't feel like it works for anybody. There are a few people that I've talked to that it does work, but what does work is to maintain, and this is where I separate it, you have nutrition, which is breakfast, lunch, dinner, your snacks.

Right. But then you've got fuel pre [00:24:00] post and during workout, totally different. So I had one client who did exactly what you're saying, which is she reduced her number of carbohydrates for nutrition prior. And during her workout, she would fuel with carbs and then go back.

Two K lower carbohydrates and when we did it that way, she did a four day race, on Thursday was a five K, Saturday was a 10 K, Sunday was a half marathon and Saturday was a full. He PR'ed, which is personal record, all four of them because, and I, this is what I believe is.

What you said, she found what worked for her as a lower carb is a glow carb rate. I personally, and I've gone through this myself, I'm more lower fat. I utilize carbs, but I'm constantly biking, swimming, running. If I'm not coaching them, I'm doing them. And some of my coaching is running with them.

So it's [00:25:00] dual workouts, the whole bit. I work better with low fat. 

Renee Jones: My cousin does too. Finding what actually works for you is the key. No matter what the rest of the world is doing. 

Brad Minus: And you could find that unique nutrition blueprint by answering those questions that you talked about, not just trial and error.

Renee Jones: You can find it by trial and error. If you keep good logs and you say, okay, when I eat this, I feel this way. When I eat that, this is what I feel. Or, you know, there, I mean, that's basically what the questions are, is how do you feel on this or that or whatever. And it has a few very strange questions like the, the white, how white is the white of your eye, which I find that one really strange, but you know what, I don't, I don't know the science.

I just know how to enter the information. And that's [00:26:00] all I have to do. My skills are elsewhere. If you, like when I was in elementary school, junior high, high school, if I had thought, gee, I'm always hungry after Cap'n Crunch, I wonder why, then I might have realized, oh, that's not the best breakfast for me and done something different.

We carry all this information within us. We just need sometimes a little help in pulling it out or, you know, they've heard you have to do this, or you can't do that. I saw an article last week about how magnificent eggs are for the body. And I remember the Time Magazine cover in the early 80s of the frowny face with the eggs for the eyes.

And I was thinking, we've come a long way. 

Brad Minus: I believe that eggs are pretty much the perfect food. 

Renee Jones: I love them. I buy them by the [00:27:00] dozens. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. So, I mean, so you've got the egg white, which has got a significant amount of protein. You've got the egg yolk, which has got all the nutrition, beta carotene, choline, and they talk about it being cholesterol, but there is no study that actually proves that there's an overabundance of cholesterol for eating eggs.

Everybody complains about it, but there's actually no, study that I've found, that states that eating eggs every single day causes high cholesterol. Absolutely not. And there's really no study linking high cholesterol to, congenital disease.

Renee Jones: Actually, they say that the cholesterol we consume as food doesn't affect our blood. level, like cholesterol level. 

Brad Minus: Interesting. 

Renee Jones: Fascinating. But you know, okay, you want a dirty little secret I learned a few years ago. Yes. So, in the late 60s, they were trying to figure out what made people gain [00:28:00] weight.

There was this little guy in the UK who kept saying, it's sugar, it's sugar, it's sugar. And people laughed at him and Ansel Keys just beat him, brow beat him down. And the Sugar Research Foundation paid two Harvard scientists 50, 000 each in like 1968, I mean, think about that in terms now, 

Brad Minus: that's like a million dollars now.

Renee Jones: To point the finger of blame away from sugar to fat. And that's how this whole, well, that Nancel Keys is how this whole thing about excess carbohydrates got started for everyone. Granted, there are people who need them. It just doesn't work for everybody. And it made me tired, hungry, and cranky all the time.

Brad Minus: Yes. Atkins was the big one, right? He was the one, he was the one that's at that really kind of [00:29:00] make everything blew up. Right. And it wasn't until, until, until they, you know, he died from a massive coronary that people started to go, Whoa, hang on a second here. Maybe we got to look at this. I had tried Atkins and yes, it worked, but if you're going to give me, if you're going to give me 20 grams of carbohydrates every day, and that's all I get, yeah, but yeah, again, I was like, you tired, hungry, cranky, irritable, didn't sleep well 

Renee Jones: for you. 

Brad Minus: So it doesn't, it did not work for me.

Renee Jones: Course, of course the Atkins only has that for the first two weeks. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. And that's the 

Renee Jones: difference. Yeah. Well, and they've obviously, they've learned a lot about this whole thing cause there was that whole explosion of, of keto stuff around 2014, 16, something like that. It all went out the window when, during the pandemic when everyone was home and in need of comfort.

Brad Minus: Yes. 

Renee Jones: Yeah. That Atkins does that for two weeks. They call that the induction period. And then you slowly add back carbohydrates [00:30:00] until you find the level that allows you to maintain your weight. 

Brad Minus: Yes. Yeah. And I agree with that, but, for me, it most didn't work because I was still running and I mean, they tell you not to work out the first two weeks, but I was like, if you're in the middle of a race or something, that's not going to happen.

And I thought, Oh, well, no, I'm fit enough that I can handle it. And it just didn't work. But that's neither here nor there. And that's where, actually, that's one of the things as I looked back that I realized that, Hey, I need to separate fuel from nutrition. 

Renee Jones: And 

Brad Minus: So let's talk more about the emotional eating. I want to get into that. Yes. Yes. How people can recognize that and redirect themselves. So let's start with you. So how did you end up realizing about your emotional eating? 

Renee Jones: Well, I saw the term and I thought, Oh, that's me. That's why when I'm mad, sad, frustrated, angry.

Upset in any way, [00:31:00] happy, ready to celebrate. That's why I always reach for food. Now, the best, example I had of that was probably when my mother passed away because I all but crawled into my peanut butter jar. Now, peanut butter is a perfectly lovely food, except in the quantities I was taking in.

And then, A few years later, my grandmother passed away and I thought, I can't do that again. What am I going to do? When I find myself circling the refrigerator, going back for another spoonful of peanut butter, I know I have to stop myself and go, okay, what's going on?

Because you're just reaching for comfort. Let's get that some other way. Emotional eating is as natural as it can be, and we learn it at birth, because when a baby cries, [00:32:00] what do we do? You 

Brad Minus: put a 

Renee Jones: pacifier, or a bottle, or the breast, you just put something in their mouth, because oral soothing is a thing.

It's real. We do it. That's why children suck their thumbs or bite their nails. They're soothing themselves with whatever they have. And unfortunately, they go from, you know, the pacifier or thumb to doughnuts, pizza. I mean, every boardroom in the country has a candy bowl in the middle of it. The receptionist desk has a candy bowl on top.

They go to the doctor, they give them, some candy, usually even the dentist, it's just how we do. And that's how our celebrations are. That's why they are feast days, the joy of life of whatever we're celebrating and we [00:33:00] eat. And that's what happened at the ranch too. We were all together. So we ate all of our favorite things.

So when I was losing my weight, you see this pacifier, right? And you see, it has this blue tape on the back of it. That's because I taped it to my refrigerator at about my height to remind me what I was looking for. When I went to the refrigerator, Mr. Jones came down and said, he said, I said, left. Don't worry about it.

He said. Sure. Whatever, whatever works for you, babe.

Brad Minus: What do you think about it being habit, not necessarily comfort, but habit? 

Renee Jones: We have a habit of wanting soothing. 

Brad Minus: Oh, okay. I never thought about that. 

Renee Jones: You sit down in front of the tv, what are you gonna do? 

Brad Minus: That's exactly where I was going 

Renee Jones: and what I often say is, okay, if you're that bored watching television. Maybe you need to do something else. If you have to [00:34:00] have something to do with your hand, hand to mouth, I know it's that whole movie thing and the smell of buttered popcorn. I mean, who can say no, right? 

Brad Minus: Hey, you don't even go by me. I was looking into a business venture when I lived in Arizona and somebody had invented a popcorn vending machine that would pop the popcorn. It wasn't separate bags. You would choose the size, put it in and it would pop it.

Renee Jones: Wow. 

Brad Minus: So as it came down and the butter came down, it would blow the scent around the room. So as soon as one person got a bag, all of a sudden it was like, all right, well, my God, we have to go. 

So when you and I were growing up, it was an event to go to the movies and you'd spend two hours in the movie and you'd have popcorn and candy and pop, but it would end there, right? If there's two hours span and you're munching on some [00:35:00] popcorn and maybe a couple of pieces of candy and blah, blah, blah, fine.

Fine. But now Netflix and chill where you could be there six, seven hours with friends or not, and you just kind of get. Pulled into things, binge watching that two hour period, which could be just an event, just a, a nice time out with family, girlfriend, parents, whatever.

Great. No problem. But when you start getting into Netflix and chill, 

Renee Jones: it can go on. 

Brad Minus: It can go on and on and on. And that's exactly where I was getting at was, 40 percent of smoking, 40 percent of addiction to smoking. Is this habit 

Renee Jones: and when they kick smoking, they usually gain weight because they like that habit.

Brad Minus: And, but it's the same with everybody else. So if watching, if you associate watching television with this, [00:36:00] then you're going to gain weight because every time you go to sit down and watch a movie or Netflix and chill or whatever, You're gonna gain weight because this is what you're doing. Now, of course, it depends on what you're eating And it depends on What you've eaten before and after and blah blah blah 

it's like you go. Hey, you know what? I'm gonna watch a couple movies a day. That's where I'm gonna get my calories from is because I know that when I sit down, I like to eat. So no breakfast, lunch, dinner. I'm going to take those. And because I know I'm going to be snacking great, good habit, right? Cause you know yourself well enough that that's, what's going to happen.

I believe. Especially if you're using, carrots, celery, veggies, fruit, you know, great, but you still know that, all right, I know I'm going to be, you know, Netflix and chilling today. I'm not ordering pizza. I'm not doing this thing because I know I'm going to be snacking all the time. Great.

But most people don't do that. It's breakfast, lunch, dinner, plus Netflix and snacks. 

Renee Jones: Yeah. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Renee Jones: Yeah. 

Brad Minus: So it 

Renee Jones: happens a lot. 

Brad Minus: I'm guilty of it. I'm a hundred percent guilty of [00:37:00] it. You know, if I get caught into something, I'm looking, I'm reaching for something, 

Renee Jones: sometimes you have to look at what the food is and why it's so important to you.

Brad Minus: Now that's an interesting topic. 

Renee Jones: Yeah. Because. We have memory, right? I often ask people, in fact, I think I did this example in my TEDx talk and it was what is it about that food that draws you? And if we can find what's driving the bus, we can take away its keys.

Nice. Yeah, because whatever that is, is what's driving the behavior. So I realized that it was peanut butter because my grandmother and I were so tight and we both like peanut butter. We both like chocolate. If you had them together, even better, but you know, peanut butter would do right. [00:38:00] And what I finally realized I was thinking, what I have them do is think about the first time they remember having something.

Do you want to do this, Brad? Is there a particular food you always reach for?

Brad Minus: Oh, man. For me, it's a mix. It's usually chips. 

Renee Jones: Okay. Chips. 

Brad Minus: Chips. Something crunchy and salty. 

Renee Jones: Okay. So, that's part of the bliss point, so that may be it. But think about the first time you remember having chips. Anything in particular come up? 

Brad Minus: Dad, we would sit down and watch TV, watch the sporting event, watch the 6 million man, together.

And he would have that we, mom would buy this box of chips and it was, yo yos, in Chicago. And it would be a big box and would come with, Three bags, and she'd buy it in bulk like that. And dad would constantly be like, all right, he'd go pour it into a bowl [00:39:00] and then we'd pass it around.

And that's where it started. So time 

Renee Jones: with your dad. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Renee Jones: It was, it's like your, those chips are your connection to your dad. Like the peanut butter was my connection to my nan. And what we have to do is tease that apart a little bit and figure out what are we looking for?

What did they, that experience or that person do for you that was meaningful enough that it would make you hold onto the chips? 

Brad Minus: It's there's two things that I hold onto, that I continue to go for. One is the chips. 

Renee Jones: Yeah. 

Brad Minus: And I still enjoy, watching television with my dad. And we, I go to my dad's house and now we play games and cards and stuff as more, we become more active. But I still always ask him like, Hey, there's this movie I want you to see. Let's sit down and watch it. Or we always have the game on or something, even while we were playing games.

But it's still, to me, it's still so soothing, 

Renee Jones: because it's, it takes you [00:40:00] back to that childhood of time with dad, just like peanut butter took me back to my Nan. Who was the most loving and encouraging person I ever had in my life. 

Brad Minus: So what would be your advice for people to start to understand why people are reaching for certain foods?

Renee Jones: Go through that exercise. What was it? What was going on? Who gave it to you? And then remember, and you know, I've had people post on YouTube say, Oh, that was when my parents took me. wherever. Or, for a lot of men, they like ice cream late at night and yeah. Sometimes it's because they've been a very good boy all day.

They need an affirmation. Yes. Need a little reward. And the other thing is, at least in Texas, for little league games, [00:41:00] if you won, you got pizza and if you lost, you got ice cream or when mom and dad took them out to tell them they were getting a divorce, they took him for ice cream. So it becomes a soothing food.

Brad Minus: My grandfather, who was pretty fit, not overweight, normal, you know, it didn't really work out except that he walked three times a day. But it always was right after dinner. And even when we went out or he stayed home, it was, can I have, a scoop of ice cream, one scoop in a bowl.

And that was it. That's all he needed. It was, that was it. And that was for as long as I can remember, whenever grandma and grandpa were around, he's like, my mom, my mom would always say at the end, does anybody want anything else? And my grandfather would always say, can I have a scoop of ice cream?

Or we'd be at their house and he'd say, who [00:42:00] wants ice cream? 

Renee Jones: Yeah, 

Brad Minus: but it would be in this little container and one scoop. That's it. But breakfast, lunch, and dinner after breakfast, go walk a mile after lunch, go walk a mile after dinner. That's it. Go walk a mile. So he never, so it was there, but that was a soothing thing for me.

So yeah, I carried that in later. Now I just don't bring coffee. I just don't bring ice cream in the house because it's not there very much. So I just don't, just don't do it. So would you say that if the next time, if you find.

That you're getting a soothing response from different food if you're sitting watching television and you go to reach for something, see if you can stop yourself and go, why am I reaching for that particular food and see if they can find the connection? 

Renee Jones: Yes. Or I also have an acronym that I use with people.

Brad Minus: Nice. 

Renee Jones: I say it's not hard to overcome emotional eating, but you do have to get the hang of it. And hang is the acronym. The H, am I hungry? [00:43:00] If you are, you may need something to eat. If you're not, then go to the A. What is the attraction to that food in that moment? What are you looking for? The N is what do you actually need? For example, I needed love and encouragement in that moment. That's why I was going for the peanut butter. Others just need maybe a walk around the block. They need to blow off some energy. They may need to talk to someone, they need to pet the dog, right? They just need something different, change the environment just a little.

And the G is go, go get that because whatever that is will soothe you more than the food ever possibly could. 

Brad Minus: Find yourself reaching for something. Are you hungry? If you're absolutely hungry, eat, it's fine. If you're not, what's the [00:44:00] attraction to that? And that's where we find.

So what's the need, 

Renee Jones: you know, 

Brad Minus: scoothing or a sense of calm 

Renee Jones: should 

Brad Minus: be me, and then find where I can get that sense of calm, maybe instead of reaching for the chips, I go pet the cats 

Renee Jones: or 

Brad Minus: go pick one up 

Renee Jones: yeah. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Renee Jones: Yeah, 

Brad Minus: I don't have an addiction to cats. I have an addiction to adopting cats. 

Renee Jones: You care for small things. 

Brad Minus: It's just, it's a problem. It's a problem. Cause it's like, I just, Renee, I have to call the pet store before I go to buy food and say, are there adopted cats in there today?

Are the, is the adoption people there right now? Yes, they are. Okay. I'm calling when are they leaving? Okay, I'll come. 

Renee Jones: I understand. 

Brad Minus: Okay, so there you go. I guess i'm ordering from amazon this time 

Renee Jones: Because i'm not going 

Brad Minus: Otherwise i'm gonna end up with two more cats but yeah, so and I only and I and I love dogs too. Don't get me wrong, but i'm not home enough I don't feel like cats [00:45:00] take care of themselves. They've got, you know, anyway, that's a whole different story. I had two of each. Oh, there you go. Yeah. So, so hang, I think that's, that is probably, you know, as far as what you were talking about is, is one binding that nutritional blueprint.

What works for you? Is it lower carb? Is it lower fat? Is sugar your issue or maybe it's starches. That are your issue. Is it maybe pasta causes you to blow up I mean, I found people that, you know, even though bananas and grapes and pineapple and stuff are good for you, the amount of sugar in them will blow them up.

Renee Jones: We'll 

Brad Minus: Oh, my dad blew up on oranges. loves oranges, loves them. And he blew up on oranges. And my mom was kept saying, you understand how much sugar is inside of an orange. It's not the fact that you can't have an orange is not the abundance of what you're eating them.

Renee Jones: Yeah. But that's true of a lot of things, 

Brad Minus: Oh, overabundance of anything is going to cause issues, [00:46:00] but finding your nutritional blueprint. And then when you are reaching for something that's not in your breakfast, lunch, dinner. Planned snacks is hang, you know, and talk to me about that, that anecdote one more time, which you talk about as far as the emotional eating and let leads into the hang that again, 

Renee Jones: what did I say?

Brad Minus: emotional eating 

Renee Jones: It's not hard to overcome emotional eating You just need to get the hang of it. 

Brad Minus: There you go. 

Renee Jones: Get the hang of it. 

Brad Minus: It's not hard to overcome emotional eating. You just need to get the hang of it. 

Renee Jones: Yes. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. Hunger, attractiveness, need, and go. 

Renee Jones: Yeah.

Because, you know, I mean, we eat for emotional reasons. This is going to sound silly, but for a reason, there's something we're looking for. And sometimes it's just past that drives [00:47:00] us. So one of the things that I often say is face your stuff. Don't stuff your face. 

Brad Minus: That. 

Renee Jones: It was my mantra when I was losing my weight.

Brad Minus: Oh, I love that. 

Renee Jones: Something's driving the bus. Something's driving that behavior bus. Let's find that deal with it. So it doesn't bother you. 

It doesn't go and get any worse. 

Brad Minus: And for me, I would go one step forward is to find an activity, a physical activity that can give you that need. You know, you blew off some energy, go take a walk, take a run, get on your skateboard, go for a bike ride.

Do that instead of eating, especially if you are learning to control your eating and you have a goal, you have a goal weight or you have a physical goal that you want to go after. But [00:48:00] anyway, Renee, this has been absolutely amazing. So I just want to, I want a couple, a couple of things is so Renee has a book out, it's called what's really eating you overcome the triggers of comfort eating.

And it is on Amazon and I'm going to have a link to that in the show notes. That's been out in Spanish. And audio. Which is great. I always talk about people using audio. You feel like you can't sit down to read a book or if it takes a while use audio because not only is audio great because you can have your earphones in whenever you want, but you can also speed it up.

Renee Jones: Yep. 

Brad Minus: So you can get to it twice as fast. Some 1. 5 times as fast or. Slow it down if the author tends to, speak a little bit faster and audible will keep the, tone of the author. So, you know, the author doesn't sound like a chipmunk if you speed it up to two verses, which is great.

So no Alvin and the chipmunks while you're listening to what's really eating [00:49:00] you overcome the triggers of comfort eating by Renee Jones. So this has been amazing. Also, pack your own bag. com is Renee's, site with her blog or coaching, that you can find the book on there as well.

So we'll have a link to that and the show notes 

Renee Jones: YouTube 

Brad Minus: Facebook. So we're going to have those on. We're going to have all of her. Social media, on the site, on the show notes, but those two will be the top. So Facebook and YouTube. So anyway, but Renee, this has been absolutely amazing.

You've given so many great tools, resources, things to think about that really are needed in this time and age where we've got, or he's 40 percent obese, 70 percent are overweight. And people have fighting this yo yo dieting and these are the tools that we need right now and they are simple, [00:50:00] not easy is how I would say it.

It's very simple for me to ask those questions. Not easy for me to answer those questions. But once I do, Once we do, we can find out why we're being stuck in the pattern that we are. 

Renee Jones: And even more, I think, it becomes a part of who you are to pay attention.

And I think once we get this in our bones, it is who we are. Then it's much easier to make good choices consistently. 

Brad Minus: Excellent. I couldn't have said it better myself. And I really appreciate you being on the show. Thank you. 

Renee Jones: Thank you. 

Brad Minus: Check out all of those links in the show notes.

And if you're listening on Apple, Spotify, please go ahead and give us a review. I don't care if it's good or bad, cause I'll get feedback from either one of them. If you're watching on YouTube, go ahead and, like share, subscribe, hit the bell. So you get the next, alert when there's a new episode [00:51:00] dropping.

And as, for Renee and myself, we'll see you. In the next one.