Rising Above Eating Disorders to Empowerment with Amanda Russo

Transcript

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Alright, so this is Brad Minas and this is the inaugural episode of Life Changing Challengers.

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I have a very good friend of mine, amanda Russo, who has a podcast called Amanda's Mindset, and very, very excited to talk to her today about the challenges that she faced starting to grow up and going into a fitness journey.

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So we're just going to have a conversation and hopefully what's going to happen is you're going to take away something that's going to help you on your brand.

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Next move into wherever you're planning on going.

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So anyway, hey, amanda.

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Hi, thanks for having me.

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Oh, I appreciate you joining us.

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So you had an interesting childhood growing up, so why don't you tell us a little about that?

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What was the makeup of your family and some of the things that led to weight issues that you were telling me about earlier?

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I grew up in a small town in Western Massachusetts and I was an only child for about half of my life till my cousin kind of became like a sister to me and my mom was a single mother and she was just the type that she grew up being very criticized for being overweight, so she was never going to be the type of parent to restrict me, or even my cousin, with food.

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And through a lot of different experiences that were challenging for me in life, my escape mechanism became food to deal with emotions as opposed to dealing with them in a more healthy way.

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That's interesting because obviously you're not the only one that had those kind of issues.

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Can you tell us about some of the challenges that you were speaking of?

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Everything from small, stupid little things even to just not fully fitting in growing up with other kids, to the way my voice sounds.

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I've been bullied for that my whole entire life.

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My mother sent me to speech therapy for about four years.

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She didn't get a money's worth because I still sound like this and now it's a joke I make that.

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My mom wasted thousands of dollars on speech therapy, on Fafria, but I was just always bullied growing up for a lot of different things.

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And then I also, as I mentioned, grew up with my mom being a single mother and I didn't know my father growing up.

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So that led to more issues internally but also, weirdly enough, led to a lot of kids bullying me over the fact that I didn't know my father, and that either turned into well, you didn't know him because he didn't want you.

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That was a big one.

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You didn't know him because he didn't want you.

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He found out who you were and he didn't want to be involved.

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I got a lot of that and that stoded folks memory.

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I can remember as I was in kindergarten.

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I was six years old when a girl bullied me for the fact that we were talking about parents and families and I mentioned I don't have a dad and she said you have to.

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I said I don't.

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At the time I didn't understand reasonings as to why.

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And she said, well, if you don't have a dad it's because he didn't want you.

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And yeah, I'll never forget that is my first memory of crying that I remember like actually crying over, like true sadness, in the bathroom, head school.

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And yeah, it was a culmination of kind of all of those things, little things, even other bullying instances, even other.

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I went to a Catholic school that was in one town and I lived in a different town and that meant I couldn't play sports in the town that I went to school in because I lived in a different town.

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So the few friends I did have at school I couldn't play on the same sports team as them because I lived in a different town.

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So it was a culmination of kind of everything, honestly.

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Kids.

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I don't understand it, especially at kindergarten, how they could be so cruel.

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You know, especially when I mean and I get it's got to be the parents why would you, why would someone be so cruel at that age?

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But they wouldn't even learned it yet.

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So that is it's, but it's besides me.

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But I was bullied in school to, not in kindergarten, but later on, so I do understand that.

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So first of all, let's just just for some background.

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You had mentioned sports.

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What were the sports that you were actually interested in?

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So I played basketball for a long time.

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I liked basketball but it wasn't my love that so many people kind of assumed it was because I started it in third grade and I played third grade through eighth grade.

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Then I played in ninth grade and in 12th grade I took two years off because I played other things.

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But I really wanted to do softball and I wanted to do soccer and those were the two sports I wasn't able to do in the town.

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I wanted to do them in.

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I ended up playing soccer in a different town not the town I lived in and not the town I went to school in because a different town that my cousin was playing in and they just let me.

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I have no idea how, but I played that for two years.

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I wasn't bad, I wasn't great, I was some like one of the defenders, but I always wanted to be goalie.

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And one of the last few games I will never forget, I ran in and I was not supposed to get the goalie out of the goal but I did and she's like you've never been the goalie and I was like I know, but I am right now and I was awful.

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I was the worst goalie ever and my coach was so, so pissed because he didn't send me in to go in for the goalie.

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Yeah, he even said to my mother what the hell kind of seven year old do you have?

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And she's like listen, she doesn't listen to me, she thinks she's going to listen to you.

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So I played goalie for one game and that was a blast.

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Then I got into a lot more sports in high school because I had free room to play sports.

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So I was trying everything.

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I did lacrosse, softball, cheerleading, basketball, and I also did a lot of clubs.

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I was on the yearbook, I did Latin club for a few years, I did out club.

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I tried to do a lot of different shit.

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So you sounded like.

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It totally sounds like you were really active, how I should say.

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When did you notice the weight started up piling on?

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Did I notice it?

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Well, I still.

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If you kids started making comments to me, probably around like third grade.

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Third grade.

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I was bigger.

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Yeah, I was a bigger Good.

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Mm, hmm, so when you started playing sports, did it start to drop or no?

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not really.

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No, really.

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Well, I sucked at basketball.

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I was not good, whether you sucked or not, you were going to practice and you were killing calories.

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So You're killing some calories, but there's still.

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It depends on what you're eating and what you're consuming.

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There's still that that balance with that.

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So that's an interesting because I'm you know there's got to be a lot of kids out there that are trying sports and they're still not, you know, losing weight, and I bet you that gets frustrating for some parents that are what's called a helicopter ring for this for the moment in time, whereas what the opposite is, what I'm hearing is what happened with your mom, where she was just like I want you to be happy, so whatever you want to eat, just you know, go ahead.

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So when did you decide that All right enough was enough?

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Not for a while, honestly, my first instance was my junior year of high school.

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I went for a physical checkup and I saw the weight on the scale and I was like, nope, I don't care what I have to do to change this.

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And that led to a lot of unhealthy patterns, but I said that I it's not going to reach the next number from here.

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I'm just not doing that.

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And that developed an eating disorder for me that I didn't realize for years and years and years was an actual eating disorder, cause it wasn't what I would consider a traditional eating disorder, but I lost weight from it.

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Yeah Well, okay, so so what?

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so there's names for a bunch of eating disorders.

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What?

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What if you could name it?

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Or what was the pattern that we can, that we can discuss?

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I mean, I don't, I don't know name for it, but I even I did an episode on my own podcast about this and where I like looked up the actual definition of eating disorder and it's like a disorder and it's like a disturbed behavior and eating is like the general theme of it.

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I don't remember what it was, but I now I was a vegetarian at the time so this turned to me as okay, we need to basically stop what I consider quote, unquote bad carbs.

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And now to me that was basically everything.

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So from from here on out, I was eating fruits and vegetables not not all vegetables, not all fruits very minimal.

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And now also what I would do and I didn't realize, like at the time, the like kind of subconscious, like issue with this.

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But if I was around people in my family so that I would not be quite questioned about, like, why are you eating green beans for dinner, I would eat something else with the green beans, very minimal, but going up to that meal, I wasn't eating for the whole day.

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So if you knew you had a social event, family event, then you would basically fast because you knew you're going to have to take in calories in order to basically be left alone.

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So nobody would question it that that about right.

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Yep, and I also was able to blow a lot of it off as well, because I was a vegetarian.

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So I wasn't eating your meat, your fish, your bacon, your like all the a lot of these things.

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So even if there was broth that was made with this, even there was like a lot of different things I wasn't consuming because of that.

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So I was able to even be like oh, I just don't feel like potatoes tonight, so I'm having just the green beans, like there was times I was able to make it.

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But made you choose vegetarianism started in high school, but I was shown a movie, Food Inc and the rest of us saw that exactly the same thing, and from that day forward I was like, nope, I'm not eating meat anymore and, ironically enough, that kind of hiked my weight gain a little bit at one point, because I didn't understand the concept of macro nutrients at the time.

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So I had removed all meat from my diet, which also meant removing a lot of protein, because I didn't understand at the time, at 17 years old, that you can get protein from lentils, you can get protein from this pasta with protein.

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There's different, there's tofu, there's different things and different ways to get protein.

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Now there were like one fake chicken patties that I was eating from Morningstar and I was like fucking living off them.

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And now I'm like I'm fucking obsessed with chicken.

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I basically live off of that to this day, but it didn't help me because then I was mainly consuming your shitty carbs Not I don't even want to call them shitty codes, but you're more like refined or processed carbs because I also didn't understand the concept of any of that.

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Also, living at home as a 17 year old with my mom and my grandfather, she also wasn't making these high-bridge protein meals.

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Right, yeah, and that's that's definitely a detriment, especially when you're growing right.

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And I always talk about vegetarianism because you know, just because you're vegetarian or vegan doesn't mean you're healthy.

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I can.

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I can speak from personal experience on that.

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So, yeah, well, you know what, if you, if you're able to get rid of the milk and the eggs and the butter, which you can, you can.

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You can substitute butter for apple sauce, you can substitute milk for water and you can substitute eggs with yeast and you get a vegan cookie, because sugar is sugar is vegan.

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You know, wheat, all that stuff, it's all vegan.

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So you could definitely, you know, be unhealthy and still be veganism, which is, or be a vegan or vegetarian.

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And it's.

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It's interesting because people just automatically relate hey, vegetarian, vegan, is healthy.

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And I don't know why they, I don't know why they think that.

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Um, I guess it's just an education thing, but it's very.

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It's an interesting, uh, it's an.

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It's an interesting, um parallel.

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Um, you went, went through, uh, you went through your vegetarian stage.

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Um, when did you start adding meat back?

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Not to, I was in college, okay, why.

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Do you want the person I?

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was with at the time offered me meat and I was not comfortable with them enough to tell them I was a vegetarian, so I ate the meat, and that also even led to different health issues because my body was rejecting it because it had a lot of it, had a lot of it, had a lot of meat.

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That hadn't had any meat for five years.

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I was a fun experience.

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Uh, I can imagine the frustration and the amount of time that might be spent in another area of the dorm that you probably didn't really want to go to move very often.

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Okay, so when you got to college, you were you feeling like you were healthy, were you?

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So?

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Yeah, just describe it basically is how you felt at that point.

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So, as I mentioned junior year, I started this I'm eating fruits and vegetables and I did that at least six months and towards the end of that I started to feel weak, like my body was just lack of energy.

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Regardless of how much I was sleeping, I felt very lack of energy.

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Now I knew I couldn't really keep up with that.

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I didn't start really adding in a lot of other foods, even right away.

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Then time came around for me to go to college.

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Now I did not have as easy access to just having melons in my fridge and all these different vegetables at my disposal that could just cook on the stove.

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I didn't have a kitchen.

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I had a dining hall now, so naturally I started eating more food.

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I also started drinking a lot more.

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I had drank a few times in high school, but it was not a crazy amount, and I only got drunk once in high school.

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College hold it from ballgame I got involved with some goals that were very big in the podium and I got into a relationship probably four months into my college experience that I didn't realize at the time was as toxic as it was, and my escape mechanism yet again from something in my life now became alcohol and sometimes became food and also became weed, because that boyfriend at the time was big, big pot smoker.

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I had hardly smoked a smoke and weed before this once in my life and he was a chimney smoker, nothing against it.

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But now I was drinking as early as seven o'clock in the morning, Sundays, smoking as early as, sometimes up to all hours of the night, waking up and waking and baking and eating whatever, because you're completely shit, faced on who knows what and numbing myself so much.

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I even and this was a little bit of a slight wake up call for me one time I sophomore year of college, I was so blasted, high and drunk I was walking to class, still into class, like all whatever, because I was very the perfectionist in me was still, even if I looked like a fucking hot mess.

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You're not going to think I'm not going to be in class looking like this hot mess.

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But I saw my roommate at the time on my way to class and I had no idea who she was.

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I did not know who she was and I didn't even feel like I saw her till later that day when she was like dude, you got to like get your shit together, I'm all for smoking weed.

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She's like.

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But you said hi to me, you gave me a hug and then you asked me who I was and I was like, listen, I er, and again I was escaping shit.

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I didn't realize it at the time, but that led to increase weight gain as well.

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And it wasn't until post college that I was with the same boyfriend and we were living on the third floor apartment and I was struggling, walking up the stairs and I said to myself fuck this, like, I'm not even.

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I don't even have anything in my fucking hands.

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And I if I was carrying a little shit, okay, maybe like, but I'm walking up the stairs by myself and I'm out of breath.

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Yeah, it's three flights, but what the fuck?

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And I was like no, no, I'm done with this.

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That was early October 2019.

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I found a woman by the name of Rachel Hollis shortly around this time and I read a book about her and it was called Girl, wash your Face and she talks about what she calls the five to thrive.

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It's not about washing your face at all, actually, ironically enough, but she talks about doing these five things every single day.

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She has this whole last 90 days that she does it.

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You can do it whenever.

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But one of them was moving your body for 30 minutes every single day, and she has this quote and I am super big on quotes that she says and I even have it hung up in my bedroom move your body, change your mind.

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And I think that's something a lot of people miss that movement brings you, it really shifts everything inside you, mentally.

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Whatever type of movement you want to fucking do, whether it's walking, running, pilates, yoga, strength training, you name it there was plenty of types of movement.

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But if you move your body in some way and can actually say you don't feel slightly better or different, I don't fully believe that.

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To be honest, little tangent, but I started moving my body 30 minutes every single day and at the time I was super overweight, over 150 pounds, and I'm sure I'm five feet like, so I was round, so I was even just walking 30 minutes around the block and it wasn't a huge thing.

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I wasn't even necessarily doing it with the intention of I'm going to lose all this weight.

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I went into it with the intention of I don't want to fucking not be able to walk up the stairs or be out of breath walking up the three flights of my stairs, like if I can look better and feel better some way shape or form in the process of this amazing.

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But it stowed as small, like I didn't stow balls to the wall, like go in hand, like it was a simple 30 minute walk.

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That was in the day and it's even when some like what I want to call willpower had to kick in because I had.

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It was a big identity shift.

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I went from being this 21 year old woman who gets shitfaced drunk all the time, doesn't exercise, doesn't go on walks, to now she's walking 30 minutes every single day and one of the five to five was also a certain amount of water you're drinking.

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Now she's drinking all this water and it's not just like booze and caffeine.

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So that identity shift was a process as well.

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Shortly thereafter this, I got an email from a gym that wanted to offer me two free weeks of a membership.

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So I thought, okay, fuck it, this timing is great, let me see if I, if I use it great, then I'll pay for the membership.

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If I don't know how, I'm no fellow, I'm not out any money, they're not out much.

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Two free weeks they sent it to me anyways, but we send in these to a lot of people.

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Okay.

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So I actually started a new job this one same specific day and the job went great.

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I was riding high.

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So I'm like you know what?

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I'm going to go to the gym now.

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I'm going to register, I'm going to get this five, it's going to be great.

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So the owner shows me around the gym, gives me what they call like a fitness consultation type thing.

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Then I see this like group workout being done and I was like I like that.

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It just it looked cool, they will have fun, they will laugh, and you could see, like this trainer guy showing them what to do.

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Now I had no idea what the fuck I was doing in a gym Back when I developed said eating disorder.

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I was joint plant fitness but I was only doing codeos.

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So I was on the elliptical for like an hour five days a week trying to just shred off any fat I possibly could, but looking to get into weights more things like that.

00:23:13.607 --> 00:23:17.423
I see this group class and I set the owner was like what is that?

00:23:17.423 --> 00:23:18.527
That's what I want to do.

00:23:18.527 --> 00:23:24.601
And he's like those are our team hit classes and I was like, okay, I want to do that, so you need to sign me up for that.

00:23:24.601 --> 00:23:26.461
He's like, well, that's fine.

00:23:26.461 --> 00:23:30.344
Went to that the next day and I loved it.

00:23:30.344 --> 00:23:40.095
The trainer was so friendly, he was super helpful and I could feel like my muscles moving and I've never felt that.

00:23:40.134 --> 00:23:55.799
I'll never forget that first experience of that and it was just, it was wild to me and I was like this is so cool and I fell in love with the process of it, like I was having fun, I was enjoying it.

00:23:55.799 --> 00:24:11.781
I started meeting friends and my social butterfly nest came out and it was amazing and it wasn't something I was doing with an intention of losing weight, like that was a part of it.

00:24:11.781 --> 00:24:17.785
That happened, but I didn't set out Like I want to lose X amount of pounds, I want whatever.

00:24:17.785 --> 00:24:33.439
No, I simply honestly, I was even following this Rachel Hollis because I really admired shit she said, and I simply wanted to feel better, walking up the stairs, moving around little little things Like I.

00:24:33.439 --> 00:24:48.365
I felt crappy in so many small little instances and I was like nah, and I slowly started to feel better from these team workouts and then, as time went on, I started to see muscle, I started to see weight drop and I was fucking sold.

00:24:48.615 --> 00:24:58.075
Like I was sold and you sound like your results oriented, so that's so interesting that you mentioned that.

00:24:58.075 --> 00:25:00.978
Oh, by the way, you see her drinking water, so you're still drinking water.

00:25:00.978 --> 00:25:19.972
It's so interesting that you say that, because I always talk about that that's one of the things that I talk about with my clients is the fact that you know, find something that you enjoy and have some of those major goals that everybody talks about losing weight, getting fit and just having that as your secondary goal.

00:25:19.972 --> 00:25:22.301
It just kind of comes along the way, right?

00:25:22.301 --> 00:25:29.800
You know I'm big into challenging people and and getting them to a certain like finish line, but it doesn't have to be that right.

00:25:29.800 --> 00:25:42.159
It could be just the fact that you found something that you enjoyed and, as you continue to do it, those secondary goals which should be secondary that should come on the way.

00:25:42.159 --> 00:25:44.803
And it sounds like you were, you were doing that same thing.

00:25:44.803 --> 00:25:47.721
You challenge yourself to stay in this class and to go to this class.

00:25:47.721 --> 00:25:50.587
For how long did you stay in the class?

00:25:51.076 --> 00:25:53.984
I mean, I didn't set aside a certain amount of time to do it.

00:25:53.984 --> 00:25:55.180
I fell in love with it.

00:25:55.180 --> 00:25:59.224
And then then there were days I was going sometimes three times a day.

00:25:59.224 --> 00:26:09.686
Even the trainer at one point had to say to me me and I was like you got to have some rest combined with, like the, the active portion of what you're doing.

00:26:09.686 --> 00:26:15.047
He helped me with so much because I was fucking going too hard at a few points.

00:26:15.047 --> 00:26:19.123
I did them consistently, probably for a year, year and a half about.

00:26:19.536 --> 00:26:21.431
Okay, ah, what were your results?

00:26:22.505 --> 00:26:25.755
I lost 50 pounds Wow.

00:26:26.085 --> 00:26:27.130
Yeah, that's a lot.

00:26:27.664 --> 00:26:32.609
Yeah, I lost that pretty quickly too because I was going so consistently.

00:26:32.609 --> 00:26:39.798
And then it's actually ironic because I emphasize this and a lot of people don't agree with me on this.

00:26:39.798 --> 00:26:43.875
So it's take it take what you agree with and leave the rest.

00:26:43.875 --> 00:26:48.257
But I didn't start changing my nutrition right away.

00:26:48.257 --> 00:27:04.506
I still was doing whatever the hell I was doing, because I went into it saying to myself I'm going to go into this trying to change everything at once and I'm going to more likely be unsuccessful trying to do it all it.

00:27:04.506 --> 00:27:07.315
Also, I would say, pay attention to the environment you're in.

00:27:07.315 --> 00:27:23.173
It was also in an environment with someone that I was seeing every single day that was not conducive or supportive of this new identity I was forming, which made me attempting to do all of the things even more difficult.

00:27:23.173 --> 00:27:26.734
Not saying it was impossible, but it was more of a challenge.

00:27:26.734 --> 00:27:28.969
That being said, I went into this.

00:27:28.969 --> 00:27:33.798
I'm not changing my nutrition and I'm simply adding in more good.

00:27:34.605 --> 00:27:43.896
I heard a quote once and I'm really mad that I don't remember who said it, but the best piece of advice she has for a weight loss journey is not to restrict or take anything out.

00:27:43.896 --> 00:27:46.250
It is to add in more of the good.

00:27:46.250 --> 00:28:07.164
Add in more movement, add in more steps, add in more vegetables, add in more water, add in more of the good things, rather than starting off restricting yourself because mentally, you're going to crave something more if you feel like you can't have it, even if it's yourself telling you you can't have it.

00:28:07.164 --> 00:28:14.534
Just like when you were grown up, when your parents said you can't have X, you wanted X, even more so because they said you can't have it.

00:28:14.534 --> 00:28:23.424
So I didn't go into it with that limiting mindset of restricting anything or even forcing myself to do these work.

00:28:24.027 --> 00:28:27.497
I fell in love with them and was doing them a shit ton because I wanted to.

00:28:27.497 --> 00:28:41.744
And then I was adding in more protein, more chicken, but I wasn't weighing shit, I wasn't tracking, I wasn't doing all of that right away, not for at least at least two months, maybe two and a half months.

00:28:41.744 --> 00:28:45.625
And even my trainer at the time was like you can't not change your nutrition.

00:28:45.625 --> 00:28:50.682
And I'm like listen, bro, when I'm ready to change my nutrition, we'll have a chat.

00:28:50.682 --> 00:28:54.335
Okay, okay, give me at least two months and we'll talk.

00:28:54.335 --> 00:28:57.704
And I still lost 30 pounds from not even changing nutrition.

00:28:57.704 --> 00:29:05.065
So it's like if you put 100% into something, whatever it is, you're going to see results.

00:29:06.790 --> 00:29:09.265
I can't tell you how much that parallels everything that I talk about.

00:29:09.265 --> 00:29:14.565
And then, and it's even like you said, not to restrict, because that exact same thing.

00:29:14.565 --> 00:29:20.384
And even when you go past that and now you're ready to add on, you know your nutrition try to be better.

00:29:20.384 --> 00:29:23.625
I don't even talk about, I'm still not restricting my clients.

00:29:23.625 --> 00:29:27.785
I'm basically telling them replace things, replace it.

00:29:28.787 --> 00:29:36.484
If you love mashed potatoes and you're eating them two, three times a week, one time, switch out mashed potatoes for mashed cauliflower.

00:29:36.484 --> 00:29:40.684
Reduces like it's like 250 calories.

00:29:40.684 --> 00:29:43.484
That's ridiculous because cauliflower is basically nothing.

00:29:43.484 --> 00:29:48.792
And if you make it with, if you make it with chicken broth and a little bit of butter, I mean it tastes.

00:29:48.792 --> 00:29:50.904
It doesn't taste like potatoes, but it tastes really, really good.

00:29:50.904 --> 00:30:04.324
And then you know, change out a baked potato for a sweet potato, which is very interesting because the high the glycemic index for a white potato is actually higher than a sweet potato and a sweet potato is sweeter.

00:30:04.324 --> 00:30:07.616
It's it's mind boggling.

00:30:07.616 --> 00:30:12.538
That's where I lead people is all right, just make.

00:30:12.538 --> 00:30:16.183
Make a replacement for something a little bit more healthy once a week.

00:30:16.183 --> 00:30:24.357
Then they finally, if they like it and they replace it twice a week, then three times a week, then, before you know it, they've gotten rid of the bad and are replacing it with just the good.

00:30:24.357 --> 00:30:28.825
So you're you are right on the money as far as hey, don't restrict yourself, because you're absolutely right.

00:30:29.968 --> 00:30:35.867
Then the other thing that that and I always like to put in my two cents into these episodes is.

00:30:35.867 --> 00:30:41.140
The other thing is I thought I stopped using the word restricted or I can't have that.

00:30:41.140 --> 00:30:45.663
I moved my vocabulary to I choose not to have that.

00:30:45.663 --> 00:30:48.803
I choose not to have that.

00:30:48.803 --> 00:30:49.085
I can eat it.

00:30:49.085 --> 00:30:53.464
I'm a human being and I got two arms and I have an esophagus and I have a mouth.

00:30:53.464 --> 00:30:57.884
I can eat it all I want, but I choose not to.

00:30:57.884 --> 00:31:02.421
And once that vocabulary changes, everything is so easy.

00:31:02.421 --> 00:31:05.263
Because then when people are asking, well, why aren't you having bread on the table?

00:31:05.263 --> 00:31:07.815
I choose not to.

00:31:07.815 --> 00:31:09.041
Not, I can't have it.

00:31:09.041 --> 00:31:09.744
Oh, I'm on a diet, I can't.

00:31:09.744 --> 00:31:12.744
No, it's not that I choose not to.

00:31:14.652 --> 00:31:15.921
It's all a matter of what you say Exactly.

00:31:17.667 --> 00:31:19.112
And that and that's that.

00:31:19.112 --> 00:31:28.404
When I would say that it was not only for friends and family, it was for me, constantly reinforcing that I was doing the right thing.

00:31:28.404 --> 00:31:38.175
So that's my two cents on you know, taking taking what Amanda said just a little bit forward from what she said about not restricting.

00:31:38.175 --> 00:31:41.345
What's your total loss now At this point?

00:31:43.912 --> 00:31:48.265
Uh, I've, I've, from the very, very stout of what I was even prior to eating disorder.

00:31:51.594 --> 00:31:56.318
No, um, from the point when you started going to the gym, because I didn't restrict your diet and you just started moving.

00:31:59.731 --> 00:32:02.601
That is trying to do mental math about 55 pounds.

00:32:02.601 --> 00:32:03.944
That's awesome.

00:32:03.944 --> 00:32:05.221
That's fantastic.

00:32:05.625 --> 00:32:07.698
Because some, some of it I gained back in muscle.

00:32:10.695 --> 00:32:13.184
I had a bigger weight loss than that, and then, yeah, all right.

00:32:15.172 --> 00:32:16.155
So what did it top out at?

00:32:16.798 --> 00:32:17.681
I think it was 65.

00:32:17.681 --> 00:32:18.503
Nice.

00:32:18.523 --> 00:32:20.625
Nice, yeah, well, muscle weighs three times as a modest fat.

00:32:20.625 --> 00:32:25.182
So, no, there's no problem with as far as the scale goes.

00:32:25.182 --> 00:32:29.345
It can definitely make you feel, or make some people feel, like it's not successful.

00:32:29.345 --> 00:32:38.605
But when you realize what your, what your fat percentage is, and you realize that your muscles even more than you know, you've got to take that as a success.

00:32:38.605 --> 00:32:40.093
And then it's about how you look.

00:32:40.093 --> 00:32:44.585
You know, if you look in the mirror and you go, oh my God, I start seeing stuff here.

00:32:44.585 --> 00:32:45.612
You know that's better.

00:32:45.612 --> 00:32:45.933
Um, in my point.

00:32:45.933 --> 00:32:54.211
So, moving forward from here, so it sounded like cause you were meant to, you were talking about, you were in that toxic relationship.

00:32:54.211 --> 00:32:59.204
Um, and you sounded like you were gaining some confidence.

00:32:59.204 --> 00:33:00.463
Yeah, I was.

00:33:01.428 --> 00:33:02.230
Yeah, I was.

00:33:03.876 --> 00:33:04.037
Mm-hmm.

00:33:04.037 --> 00:33:29.234
So Just to give a little backstory, amanda and I met at Podfest 2024, which is this, this amazing Conference for podcasters and basically geared toward independent podcasters and I was speaking and it was Amanda's first time and we met the first day and we just kind of hit it off and we became friends.

00:33:29.234 --> 00:33:48.157
Um, but the cool thing that I always recognized was she's got this part of her podcast and shows goes, it's a ka, the breathing goddess, and that's because she is a coach in breath work and I kind of want to touch on that and ask you how did you, how did you get into it?

00:33:48.157 --> 00:33:52.749
And then if you can give us kind of a definition of what breath work is.

00:33:53.876 --> 00:33:54.057
Yeah.

00:33:54.057 --> 00:34:08.726
So I tried any type of breath work the first time at an ayahuasca ceremony and it was really fucking challenging for me, to the point where I thought to myself I'm not doing this again.

00:34:08.726 --> 00:34:13.347
I'm good, a lot of back.

00:34:13.409 --> 00:34:14.355
Wait, I'm sorry.

00:34:14.355 --> 00:34:18.983
I don't mean to interrupt you, because I was always told you don't interrupt the rest, but I need to step back here.

00:34:18.983 --> 00:34:21.311
An ayahuasca ceremony.

00:34:21.773 --> 00:34:21.875
Yes.

00:34:22.597 --> 00:34:28.472
Can you explain that a little bit, because ayahuasca's got some negative connotations out there.

00:34:28.492 --> 00:34:38.699
You know, I'm saying I Mean to each their own ayahuasca's not for everybody and I always profess any conversation I have about that like do your own research.

00:34:38.699 --> 00:34:42.688
Don't just hear about ayahuasca on a podcast and go do ayahuasca.

00:34:42.688 --> 00:34:49.018
For a warning it's a plant medicine, it's a psychedelic it.

00:34:49.018 --> 00:35:02.318
I'm not the best at explaining exactly what it is, but they Combine three different plants and to make it and it is this brew that you drink.

00:35:02.318 --> 00:35:03.523
It.

00:35:03.523 --> 00:35:07.684
It's not that easily accessible in the United States.

00:35:07.684 --> 00:35:18.710
I fortunately was able to do it in New Hampshire, um but it's a brew that you drink and you can experience hallucinative effects.

00:35:18.710 --> 00:35:31.250
For me, every single experience I had experienced from my whole life up until that point came to the forefront.

00:35:32.235 --> 00:35:35.862
Wow and it was a lot to process.

00:35:35.862 --> 00:35:46.925
I journaled a shit ton and and it just helped me realize so much Stuff about myself, about my life.

00:35:46.925 --> 00:35:56.184
And I will say this too, like you'll know, if you're meant to do ayahuasca, when I had first heard about it I Was very egotistical about it.

00:35:56.184 --> 00:35:58.686
My boyfriend wanted me to do it with him.

00:35:58.686 --> 00:36:00.195
I was so against it.

00:36:00.195 --> 00:36:04.014
I gave him so much attitude because I would never do something like that.

00:36:04.014 --> 00:36:11.568
You and a half later I felt called and knew I needed to do ayahuasca and I went to the same place and I did ayahuasca.

00:36:11.936 --> 00:36:17.563
Like you'll know, if something is meant for you, so would you say that that was like a turning point for you?

00:36:17.963 --> 00:36:19.148
Oh my god, it changed my life.

00:36:19.148 --> 00:36:25.320
It changed my life half of the things I've done up until this point I wouldn't have done if I didn't do ayahuasca Wow.

00:36:25.541 --> 00:36:26.525
I know that's.

00:36:26.525 --> 00:36:27.447
That's super interesting.

00:36:27.947 --> 00:36:30.315
Oh yeah, I wouldn't have fucking started a podcast.

00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:32.000
Hmm.

00:36:32.501 --> 00:36:36.594
Oh yeah, confidence level post ayahuasca changed so much.

00:36:36.594 --> 00:36:41.530
I was this badass bitch and nobody's gonna tell me shit, I'm gonna do whatever I.

00:36:41.530 --> 00:36:43.717
I got something to say, I'm gonna say it.

00:36:43.717 --> 00:36:45.282
You don't like what I have to say.

00:36:45.282 --> 00:36:46.284
To each their own.

00:36:46.284 --> 00:36:49.942
People thought I had joined a cult post this.

00:36:49.942 --> 00:36:51.947
Like nobody knew I went and did ayahuasca.

00:36:51.947 --> 00:36:55.815
I said I went, I was going to a yoga retreat in New Hampshire.

00:36:55.815 --> 00:36:59.567
Also, if you go do ayahuasca, don't say that.

00:36:59.567 --> 00:37:04.161
Tell people because like there could be repercussions Pro say of ayahuasca.

00:37:05.675 --> 00:37:14.215
But yeah, so then you mentioned that you were introduced to breath work while you were there.

00:37:14.456 --> 00:37:15.338
Yes, I did.

00:37:15.338 --> 00:37:18.507
It was a different type of breath work that I then what I facilitate.

00:37:18.507 --> 00:37:21.894
It was more intense, honestly, and I didn't love it.

00:37:22.978 --> 00:37:26.447
Um, it did help me process some shit I needed to process.

00:37:26.447 --> 00:37:32.523
It kind of forces you a little bit too surrender, even like psychedelics.

00:37:32.523 --> 00:37:44.954
Well, if you've experienced them, you know what I mean, because You're gonna feel your shit like you're gonna think about the things that you avoid and you don't necessarily want to think about.

00:37:44.954 --> 00:37:51.014
And that's, in my eyes, why people say they have quote-unquote bad trips.

00:37:51.014 --> 00:37:52.398
It's not a bad trip.

00:37:52.398 --> 00:37:55.927
You won't ready to fucking process what came up for you in my eyes.

00:37:55.927 --> 00:38:03.065
But, yes, I discovered how to drop a breath work at that ayahuasca ceremony.

00:38:03.065 --> 00:38:16.074
Then it was about Six months later that I want to say six months, because I did ayahuasca in July and then I experienced breathwork detox for the first time in January.

00:38:16.074 --> 00:38:30.146
And it's ironic because I'm a strong believer in if you're meant to do something, if you meant to go somewhere, like it's gonna happen, like the universe and the stars are gonna just align for that to work out.

00:38:30.146 --> 00:38:44.077
Now, october, from to January, a good friend of mine, megan, who facilitates breathwork detox as well, had been talking to me and telling me I Need to try this breath work that she teaches and I'm like listen, I know how to.

00:38:44.077 --> 00:38:50.003
I didn't say this to her what I was thinking, like I know how to breathe, but I'm like, yeah, I will sometime, I will sometime.

00:38:50.003 --> 00:38:53.403
And Kept kind of blowing her off straight up.

00:38:53.403 --> 00:39:01.048
I'd post about yoga on Instagram, on my story, and she'd always respond and I'm still like, yeah, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come.

00:39:02.635 --> 00:39:10.514
January rolls around and it was the anniversary of my grandma's passing and, honestly, I just didn't want to sit home alone and smoke weed.

00:39:10.514 --> 00:39:13.641
So I'm like, hey, she's hosting this breathwork class.

00:39:13.641 --> 00:39:14.985
I don't know what the hell breathwork is.

00:39:14.985 --> 00:39:16.128
We know I'm gonna fucking go.

00:39:16.128 --> 00:39:24.655
And it's funny because I called my mom on my way there and I was telling her I'm going to this breathwork class.

00:39:24.775 --> 00:39:26.079
She's like what the hell is breathwork?

00:39:26.079 --> 00:39:27.744
It's like it's like meditating.

00:39:27.744 --> 00:39:30.646
She's like you're gonna sit in silence for an hour and a half.

00:39:30.646 --> 00:39:35.791
And I said I guess I don't fucking know, like I don't know, mom, I don't want to sit home and smoke weed.

00:39:35.791 --> 00:39:44.028
Okay, and she's like, well, I guess sitting in silence is better than just sitting and smoking weed literally a quote and I was like it is so.

00:39:44.028 --> 00:39:56.795
Okay, I went, I did this hour and a half long breathwork session and I Went into it with no expectations, which is honestly the best thing I can recommend, and I was blown away.

00:39:56.795 --> 00:39:58.309
I was like what the fuck?

00:39:58.309 --> 00:40:06.128
How did I, bro, how did I experience this from like fucking breathing, like I wouldn't have even believed it?

00:40:07.275 --> 00:40:09.123
Can you explain a little bit more about the experience?

00:40:09.123 --> 00:40:12.141
Like you just said, you couldn't believe it, so let's give.

00:40:12.181 --> 00:40:22.273
you can just, you know, divulge a little bit about what you felt so, like I, leading up to it, even that day, I wasn't in the best mood in general.

00:40:22.273 --> 00:40:33.617
Like my grandma was the person I was closest with my whole life, so her anniversary is never like the happiest day of my life, so I was in a Shittier mood straight up.

00:40:33.617 --> 00:40:39.449
Just I just honestly was and I was in more of this like melancholy state.

00:40:39.449 --> 00:40:42.338
Like she passed when she was 70.

00:40:42.338 --> 00:40:44.242
She could have lived so much longer.

00:40:44.242 --> 00:40:48.172
Just all these like why why this, why this?

00:40:48.172 --> 00:40:57.083
Like it could have been different, this could have whatever could have should have one up and Then post this breath work session.

00:40:57.083 --> 00:41:11.646
I had a whole new perspective on life and it really shifted my mindset, honestly, because I was now thinking about all of the ways I was grateful for the way certain things happened.

00:41:11.646 --> 00:41:16.574
Example I grew up my whole life living with my grandmother.

00:41:16.574 --> 00:41:21.887
Not everybody gets to spend 15 years living with their grandmother, seeing her every single day.

00:41:22.815 --> 00:41:31.123
That's something I didn't get to see, I didn't get that a lot of people don't so like, and it came to my head post breath work, like I am so grateful for that.

00:41:31.123 --> 00:41:42.282
Then it came to my head, not not that I should have been comparing, but like okay, I wasn't the youngest grand kid, I wasn't the oldest, but I was one of the older ones, so I got a lot of years with her.

00:41:42.282 --> 00:41:45.855
My younger cousin, who's basically like my sister, only got five years.

00:41:45.855 --> 00:41:47.099
I got 15.

00:41:47.099 --> 00:41:49.144
That's, that's pretty solid.

00:41:49.144 --> 00:41:52.702
Then I she got to see me graduate eighth grade.

00:41:52.702 --> 00:41:57.282
Okay, she didn't get to see me graduate high school, but she still got to go to a graduation with me.

00:41:57.282 --> 00:42:01.539
And I started Reframing all of these different things.

00:42:01.539 --> 00:42:06.358
I like to say I transformed my grief to gratitude in short.

00:42:09.536 --> 00:42:15.498
Because it was everything that was coming to my mind was all of these different things about how and why.

00:42:15.498 --> 00:42:19.307
I was grateful for the experience with my grandmother.

00:42:19.307 --> 00:42:26.925
Also, I was going through a unique job transition at this time in my life.

00:42:26.925 --> 00:42:37.295
I Was working at a job that I had already given notice to, so I knew I was leaving, but I gave a long notice and I had no idea what the hell I was doing next.

00:42:37.295 --> 00:42:49.139

Rising Above Eating Disorders to Empowerment with Amanda Russo

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