Planting Seeds of Wisdom – Kirk McCarley’s Journey to Coaching and Authorship

Brad Minus: [00:00:00] And welcome back to another episode of life changing challengers. As always, I'm your host, Brad minus, and I am really excited today to be talking to Kirk McCarley. He's an executive career development and life coach and an author of the, there's a new book out and he's going to tell us all about that he also has a website for his coaching called the seedsowercoach. com and we'll get more into that as well. But right now, Kirk, how are you doing today? I am well, Brad, thank you for having me.

Good to connect with you, man. really appreciate it. A little bit about your c you grew up? What was the family? And what was it l as a kid? 

Kirk McCarley: Brad, I'm a nat

Before later we went to St. Louis and then eventually ended up here, in the other part of Florida from you, Northwest Florida. [00:01:00] So childhood growing up, I had an older sister. She was older than me by about 14 years. I remember being teased a lot, and she would play this game where we had a coffee table in our den with a sharp corner to it, and she would take her hand to my head and do that, and I would hit the corner and start wailing and crying, and my mom would say, Stop doing that.

But fast forward, I got teased a lot as a kid, but It's part of who I am now because I returned that teasing and also have learned how to take it. So I remember that, D my sister, moved on when I was quite young to follow her own pursuits and career. So, my parents were empty nesters, except for me.

And, I grew up, it was a good childhood in Fort Worth, Texas. A lot of running around the neighborhood, hide and go seek, mud [00:02:00] pies, connecting with neighbors, connecting with the neighbor's dogs, going to an elementary school just down the street, which, It's kind of a first significant intersection for me, Brad, because at the time, it was kind of like a representation demographically of what society looked like.

We had rich, we had poor, we had white, we had Latina, we had black, and it was an experiment in the Fort Worth School District at that time, back in the 1960s, of mainstreaming kids with. disabilities, both physical and mental. So we had to learn how to help these kids along to be their eyes, to be their ears sometimes, to be their guide, if they had a physical challenge, but very significant in my upbringing.

I've always had a gift with numbers and it was, when I was about 10 or 11 years old, I [00:03:00] discovered sports and athletics. And I was good at that. I played basketball. I played softball later on, but what I really cherished about that was the analytical and the logical element of it.

If he scores 14 points, his average is going to go up to 12. 6 and I began to do long division and pretty soon. began to calculate that in my head, which, led into the foreseeable future of eventually becoming a talent statistician for ESPN. After growing up in, in Fort Worth, went to school at University of North Texas.

Another significant thing happened. I affiliated with social fraternity, which led me to become the recruitment chairman. Which arguably led me into going into HR and recruitment of that. Later on, I made a connection, with a college roommate who was a broadcast communications major. He eventually paved the path for [00:04:00] me to go to work for ESPN as a statistician.

And most significantly, November 11th, 1978, I met a girl at, at Party who was way out of my league and she's still with me, to this day, that's 46 years later, we've been married for 44 of those 46 years. So I definitely out kicked my coverage on that. So that was my early upbringing. Taking me through to college.

Brad Minus: Wow. That's amazing. Do you still talk to your sister? 

Kirk McCarley: My sister, passed away in 2007, but, she had a tremendous sense of humor and Brad. She was a New Orleans person. That's where she ended up. Katrina hit in 2005, and I would argue that that literally sucked the life out of her when she saw her city and her community so devastated.

She had an ailment. She didn't tend to it, I would say, because she didn't want to [00:05:00] know. It ended up being splenic cancer could have been treatable earlier. It wasn't later. And so she eventually passed away. That's been 17 years ago now. But, Great sense of humor. I miss her from that standpoint of being able to kid and joke about things.

Brad Minus: Well, I mean, I'm sorry for your loss. Obviously it was 17 years ago and that's horrible that she went through that. But, it sounds like, you know, she had a good life. So, You were at University of North Texas. You graduated with a what degree? 

Kirk McCarley: It's a BBA in administrative management.

And so I launched my career going to Oklahoma City because I was kind of fascinated, was there. And I wanted to get out of the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. So I pounded the pavement looking for a job. And lo and behold, I finally got one. That was my entry into hr. I learned everything not to do at that company.

So [00:06:00] that was my initial, year, year and a half indoctrination to hr. So a lot of bad habits needed to be, reschool, let's say. 

Brad Minus: Did you have to talk re in recruitment or did you were in benefits or something else to start with? 

Kirk McCarley: I was in everything. So it was a two person office and I did recruitment.

I did payroll. I did benefits, labor relations, all these things. And it was a trial by baptism. 

Brad Minus: Oh, I see. I see. You know what? I have been thrown to the wolves more times than I can tell you in my careers. So I exactly get it. And sometimes you actually like learn faster that way, you're not stuck behind a desk looking at CBTs or going through books or anything like that.

Sometimes it's better to do it that way. I think I've always thrived better when they just said, you know what you're doing, just go do it, and me asking questions as protocol of what the company does in what situation. And once you get past that. Then you can start rocking and rolling.

Curious though, as to what your lovely wife does or [00:07:00] did. 

Kirk McCarley: She is an interior designer. From the time that we were in school, she has, been a calligrapher. She has assisted her mom, who also has passed now, but was in San Antonio, had her own business. And she would do a lot of the, interior design.

Decorating for SAS shoe stores, which are the shoe stores that, are the footwear for older people when her mom passed, that's been over 20 years ago. She went back to school and kind of at the age of 50, she had her aha moment and discovered what she wanted to do with her life.

I want to be a kitchen and bath designer. She's always been very visual and artistic, and she has got an incredible eye. I don't understand how she sees what she sees, but she does. And, she went back to school. became a certified NKBA, National Kitchen Bath Association designer, and she's doing baths, kitchens, [00:08:00] and a lot more these days.

In fact, kind of funny story related to Tampa, she worked with the Former coach and his family at USF because they had a place up here. And so we got to know the Scott family and, find people to work with. So these connections that we've with her, with me working for ESPN, it's funny how the world gets very small.

Brad Minus: Yeah. I've been hearing some things about that age of 50, right. Which is a great thing. Kind of where I am a little bit older. People like starting all new careers. Like I listened to this woman who at 50 went to medical school.

So eight years, so she didn't even start practicing until she was 58 here. We were saying that, you know, 65 is the age of retirement, you know, and here she is 58, just getting to the point where she can practice, right? So I guess she turned out to be an OBGYN, until 80, she retired at 84. And she just kept going.

So. Hey, you know [00:09:00] what? If you want to have a purpose driven life, you know, doesn't necessarily mean you got to start at 20. You can change things. At any point in time. And obviously your wife is a tribute to that as well. Speaking of that, you were doing human resources. How long did you end up doing, human resources?

Kirk McCarley: Well, let's see, I guess I started at 23 and stayed in it till 60, so 37 years. Some detours along the way, I did a little bit of economic development, affordable housing, and I was also a public information officer for one of the communities, that I worked with when I was in government. 

Brad Minus: Oh, excellent.

And when did you start picking up? The ESPN? Assistant production manager, production manager. 

Kirk McCarley: Yeah. Production assistant, but very specifically a talent statistician. So I, I supply numerical data trends, thanks to look forward to the broadcasters.

That was in 1989 that I [00:10:00] began that there used to be a conference called the Southwest Conference, which was comprised of schools primarily from Texas plus Arkansas before they went to the SEC. And we did that until 1995, covering those schools. And when the Southwest Conference folded, that was when ESPN picked us up and specifically a new network called ESPN 2.

Now they've got like ESPN 40, 41, it goes on and on. But this was back in 1996 when we made that transition to that. And we were the first television crew for ESPN 2 back then. 

Brad Minus: All I think about is dodgeball. You remember the movie Dodgeball? The Ocho! The Ocho! I love those two, Gary Cole and Jason Bateman.

They were funny. Now, there was a turn, had a revelation because of a major event that happened to you. You want to tell us a little about that? [00:11:00] 

Kirk McCarley: Be happy to, first of all, that was when I had, I was contemplating transitioning into coaching. I had hired a coach myself at that point in time because I wanted to do something else, but I wasn't quite sure what it was.

And he helped clarify that for me. I was thinking about teaching, thought about, counseling and therapy. Thought about faith based ministry, in fact, but about the third meeting I had with him, I said, I want to do what you do. And so that launched that, that was in 2013. So 14 was spent again, latter stages of my HR career prepping for that.

And also doing ESPN simultaneously. This was, on a Friday in October. This is 10 years ago, over 10 years ago, before I was scheduled to go to Norman, Oklahoma for the Sooners. I was working out. I'm a group exercise instructor. I teach spinning I was doing a workout on my [00:12:00] own, doing a lateral pull down, and Brad, all of a sudden the world just went upside down.

The next thing I knew I was laying on the floor and I had a mask on me. I had paramedics or emergency medical people that were overseeing me. What's your name? What's your date of birth? How old are you? On that Friday afternoon, exited the gym, via stretcher, taken to a local hospital in St.

Louis. So, I was more. aggravated at that time than in any particular, sense of pain because I knew I was probably not going to make my game that weekend. And just the plans were going to become complicated. It was a Friday. The hospital was not equipped to do any kind of testing until the following Monday.

So I spent a long weekend. watching games in the hospital, eating crappy food and waiting for monday to get there. When it got there, they shot the dye into my [00:13:00] veins and son, you've got 100 percent blockage in one artery and about 95 percent in two of the others. And we recommend, bypass surgery and we would recommend doing that as quickly as possible.

So at that time, we were planning to make this transition from St. Louis to Florida. My wife was down here trying to get her business started. I called her up. She knew I was in the hospital on Monday and said, I'm having bypass surgery tomorrow. Probably be a good for you to get back up here. And Her mindset was, aren't you going to ask for a second opinion, talk to someone else.

But I remember being very resolute at that time. Let's get this over with, let's get beyond it. Let's move forward. And I want to get back into action as quickly as I can, even at that point in time. So that was on a Monday, [00:14:00] Tuesday, the surgery was performed. It was a successful surgery.

I recovered in the hospital for about four or five days and then went home, on the Saturday after the Friday when that had occurred eight days later. 

Brad Minus: Okay. So you're doing a lateral pull down. I know exactly what that is. Most people do. It's a regular thing for, for obviously the lats.

And all of a sudden it just went blank, no pain, no out of breath, no nothing. And it was just pull. Block and then all of a sudden you're getting the oxygen 

Kirk McCarley: kind of a little bit of a tingly feel and then all of a sudden, I don't remember what happened next after that.

Brad Minus: That you would think that with that kind of blockage, you would have had some sort of sign and especially someone that was as in tune as you were, but that's amazing that just to know that these blockages can happen. Without notice, right? It's one thing to have this, I guess it was a heart attack, right?

It was cardiac blockage, right? So it's one thing to have the [00:15:00] heart attack, but it's another thing that it, you know, to have that 900 percent and 95 percent blockage and not even know it. So that is a big lesson learned to. A lot of people that we need to make sure that we are on top of our health, no matter how good you feel.

I'm a cyclist myself, obviously I'm an endurance coach. I do a lot of cycling and I'm just like you. So I understand it. And you were doing, first of all, I'm kind of already impressed that you had your full time job as human resources, you were doing ESPN.

You were teaching classes and that's a lot, I give you credit on that. So you were saying that it became frustrating to you because it wasn't because of what was going on with your heart, because you really didn't know it was the fact that.

You were inconvenienced. Now, Monday happens and they tell you this. They say, okay, you've got 100 percent blockage in one artery, 25 percent in the other. We got to give you bypass surgery. What goes through your mind? 

Kirk McCarley: Let's just get ready for [00:16:00] it. I don't remember any real sense of fear that was going through.

It was just kind of like, I don't like it, but let's move forward. Let's get it done and move ahead. So I kind of approached it, I guess you could argue somewhat courageously, but maybe more with naivety of, okay, they're going to fillet me and it's going to be about a 12 inch, cut that I'm going to go through and there's going to be some rehab that takes place.

But even at that point, I want to get back into action as soon as I can. So that was my attitude, about things going through it. And my wife. not being very happy with me because she wanted me to take more time to think through it, to process, to go through options. And I just wasn't prepared for that. I was prepared to move forward.

Brad Minus: I would imagine that if you had any sense about [00:17:00] the doctors telling you this and the way they approached you with it, if you had any Doubt in your mind, not necessarily that what they were telling you wasn't the truth, but that you had any kind of like gut feeling that maybe these aren't the doctors to do, that you probably would've maybe took your wife's advice.

Right. 

Kirk McCarley: I never had a lack of confidence, with anyone who was treating me there. In fact, I remember they were showing me some videos in preparation. This is the recovery from a bypass. This is what you go through. They were showing people who were older than me and also probably not as in condition as I was.

I was looking at the video and I'm kind of like, come on, show me something that's a little more aggressive than this about how you're going to return to where you were before. Not you can get up and walk around the neighborhood now. That was my sense is give me better than this. They said, that's all we've got.

Brad Minus: Okay. Well, I mean, that's good, but my [00:18:00] question was that if I would imagine that if you did have a lack of confidence, not necessarily that the diagnosis was wrong, but in the doctor, you probably would have at that point taken it, but it sounds like you were very confident in the doctors that were talking to you, which is great.

That's something that, you know, we need to look at, I know how I feel. And I think the fact that they probably, because they were able to prepare you so well, also probably lent to your, more confidence, even though you weren't crazy about the idea that it was going to be a slow recovery.

So let's talk about that then. So Monday they diagnosed you, when did you end up, did you end up actually back on the table on Tuesday? 

Kirk McCarley: Yeah. The next day that morning. 

Brad Minus: So Tuesday you go in, you wake up on Tuesday, you've got probably surgical pain. And then how fast did they get you into rehab?

Kirk McCarley: I was in, ICU for just a day and I recovered quite quickly. The thing that was most uncomfortable throughout that whole process for me Was an episode of constipation it was terrible.

They gave me a [00:19:00] suppository, that took care of that. So, that was a relief. So started walking the hallways of the hospital 'cause they get you up and at it, like the next day. Oh great. So I was doing that and, discharged and sent home. Saturday after the Tuesday surgery. Don't remember a whole lot about the hospital other than that one episode, with the colon.

Brad Minus: Okay. And then the, it's the anesthesia. The anesthesia for most people causes a little bit of a constipation. And that's why they, that's why a lot of the places they like, that you're not allowed to go home until you've done your doodie. So what was the rehab like, what was recovery like after that?

Kirk McCarley: Interesting. You should ask, because there were visiting nurses that would come to the home and they would talk to me about, getting out in the neighborhood, doing some walking. Can't lift for a while cause you don't want to tear up the stitches. Can't drive, need to be in the back back seat when you do drive for safety reasons.

And I'll [00:20:00] be, I'll admit, I pouted over that having my wife drive me around. So, I was a 57, 58 year old baby at the time. I was 68 year old baby. But, I, I remember that, but I also remember their, coaching of the rehab, not being aggressive enough for me. So seven days post stop, I was back in the neighborhood.

I was feeling pretty good. I was walking like a couple of miles and the nurses came in. I remember them being heavy set and saying, you need to slow down, which supplied me even more motivation to amp things up. I was doing that, pretty consistently two, three miles a day, eating better, losing weight, which was good.

And aiming towards that. Three weeks into the future when I get the stitches out and could start driving again, I was working remotely in my HR [00:21:00] job. At the time I couldn't travel. So ESPN was on hiatus for several weeks and working from home and two weeks after surgery, I actually went back to the office part time for like 15, 20 hours a week and eventually built that up to where it was full time, maybe about four weeks post op.

Brad Minus: Did you ever have this relevation that, Hey, you know what? I almost died. 

Kirk McCarley: I was at the right place. I was at the gym. We are CPR trained as instructors. Those who are trainers, a E D I don't know what they did for me, but if I ever did out cycling, it was the widow maker.

I was in a gym, they responded to me, four weeks after that episode, the American Heart Association came in and awarded, Scott and Liz, who apparently assisted at the time. And that was pretty emotional [00:22:00] for all of us because they literally may have, may have saved my life before the, EMTs got there.

So. I reached the revelation initially at that point and then later on as I was rehabbing. 

Brad Minus: And what was, what did that feel like? You know, you, you're sitting here and then all of a sudden you're getting this, the awards are going for saving your life. What was that revelation? What did it feel like?

Kirk McCarley: Before that, it was about 10 days post op, and I was kind of in that, state of, I'm feeling pretty good right now, but I'm still limited. There are things I can't do medically. I would probably go out and do it just to my own. Cause I felt that good, but I started getting a little bit depressed quite frankly 

no, no, no, no, no. Don't go there. Go to getting better. Then you were before number one and number two, this is your [00:23:00] second chance. You know, what are you going to do with it, son? So that's sort of when that launched at that point in time. And it's like, okay, let me resolve to do some things with the time that I.

do have left that's ahead of me. 

Brad Minus: That I get yeah, and that's kind of what I was hoping that you're gonna you're gonna get to just this just this thing of whoa, hang on a second here. This is my shot. So what did you end up what you end up doing with it? Obviously, you already you already started training, you already started looking into coaching, you wanted to start that career, you were looking at possibly getting out of human resources.

You I wouldn't have left ESPN, so I don't think you still haven't left ESPN, right? So yeah, that was going to stay on because you probably just really enjoy that, right? 

Kirk McCarley: Oh, I love it. It's my man cave every weekend. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. So what did you end up doing? Did you end up like stepping up to coaching training or what went on from there?

Kirk McCarley: Well, first thing is physically, let's [00:24:00] get back to the gym. So five weeks post op, I was working out again, to some limited degree, but I quickly amped that up to where I was back teaching spinning classes seven weeks after surgery. 

Brad Minus: Oh, 

Kirk McCarley: I returned to ESPN. I guess it was four weeks after I'd had the surgery.

So finished out the college football season and moved on into the bowl season after that. So completed that season. Got back on a bike. Cycling outdoors and wanted to get my stamina back to where it was before, which I did. And that's when I really launched into riding the sanctuary rides, It was time to talk to some people who were coaches, and what's the approach you took to get into coaching?

How much did it cost? What's the investment of time? What can I expect later on? And I surveyed several people and eventually decided on a curriculum that was going to work for me, for my time as I continue to be an HR [00:25:00] person. Then in 2016, this is a year after I'd gone through the health episode, affiliated with the St.

Louis chapter of coaching and really began to start make the transition from, I'm not this anymore. I'm moving into that. HR is, I'm leaving that behind. I'm moving into my new, my new life career. So that's kind of what that looked like. There was another thing that was taking place, though, at the same time.

I worked in government and there was a change in administration, as far as a new elected official, and we always approach those kinds of things with curiosity. What's this going to be like? Maybe there'll be some opportunity that's here. How do I need to change my approach? And things were pretty copacetic for the first three, four months.

But after that, there was an episode that occurred [00:26:00] where I was asked to do something. That in my mind was not an ethical approach to doing my job. And I boned up with the courage to basically say, I can't do this. From that point forward, going for about the next 22 months, life at work for me was hell. I had a target on my back.

There was a specific policy. That was passed by the organization I was in that I felt was targeted directly towards me And my part time work with ESPN It would seem to insinuate you've got to, resign from this part time job. I didn't. I exposed myself there. I want to see if you do something.

They did not. So it was the right move to make, but it was just a time fraught with frustration, counting the days, counting the hours till the day that I [00:27:00] was going to depart. And I kind of had divine intervention that said, March 3rd, 2017 needs to be the day that you leave this behind, go off into the sunset and try to get to that sunset experience.

So I was successful in doing that, but a lot of stress went with it. Looking back on that time, it was very necessary because it gave me a perspective as a coach to have even more empathy with people who are having rough times in their careers, things that don't seem fair and above board. And looking back on it now, very Grateful for having gone through that experience.

The people that were in administration, the chief executive ended up, being indicted and later convicted, for federal bribery charges and went to a federal prison for 20 months. [00:28:00] 

Brad Minus: So you made the right move. Obviously you were, you made the right action right there. I did. Wow. Yeah, that, that, that was for me.

I went through something sort of like that myself. I was in a job. It was funny because it was a professional job. I was taught everything within the company of what I needed to do. I was young and part of it was they gave you the magazine that, all of these professionals got.

Yeah. going through the magazine, now I'm starting to read up about, you know, what actually is the job and what's going on and started seeing that, whoa, these, We're not, we don't do that. We don't do that either and definitely do more than that. And people are getting, so I started digging into what exactly was, was going on in this industry.

It actually was the securities industry at the time and, realized that where I was working was kind of the same thing. And I ended up doing pretty much the same thing as you. The only thing that I had to do on the sly was I had a book of people that I was [00:29:00] responsible for and I slowly started to move their accounts over to a more reputable, firm.

So I had to stick around for that. But once I got through that, I was out just like you did. I commend you for noticing what was going on that was unscrupulous and digging yourself out and getting out of there. So now you're starting your career as a life coach.

How did that start? You got your certification. How did you get started? Where did you find your first clients? How did that whole thing, happen?

Kirk McCarley: Early on, of course, I'd been in a leadership position in HR for many years, and probably the first transition I need to go through is I didn't have anybody to delegate things to anymore. It was me. Son, you better go figure it out. And that was a particular challenge with technology and having to contact.

How do I become an LLC? Why do I need to become an LLC? What kind of articles of incorporation do I need to file? Do I need [00:30:00] liability insurance? All these things that I would delegate to other people.

And I was having to do that. So that was just kind of establishing the backbone. Then there's a part of it that I. Dislike the most and I talked about why didn't pursue a life of sales in the book going back to being a cup scout Selling thin mints door to door and at the 31st house being told no Eventually dragging it down to the curb, sitting down and just bawling my eyes out, walking home dejectedly to my mom saying, I don't want to go into sales ever.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. So I was in that. Because as a coach, You got to do some marketing. You've got to do some networking, some connecting. So Kurt, put your big boy pants on. Let's go to some, chamber gatherings, shake some hands, exchange some business cards. Are there [00:31:00] small business groups that are out there identified?

One, had a person who was leading it. That was also the publisher of a monthly table tabloid in our area. And I was doing blogs at the time. Did I start blogging in your paper? Yes. Inch by inch, little by little, I got myself out there. Word of mouth was pretty slow. The organic approach I found was for me in terms of selling, but then I connected with a company out of Phoenix that worked in career development, executive development, and getting.

Executives prepared for their next opportunity, working with them on interviewing, approach, and that's when I really got a toehold into it. The next thing that happened, as the business is beginning to get some traction was COVID. For so many, that [00:32:00] shut things down. For me, it created opportunity because people were lost, wondering, this is new.

I need somebody to help and guide me through this time period that I'm in right now. So that's 2020. I discovered the beauty of Zoom and began having more meetings that way. And it was 20 and 21, that the coaching practice really got Some traction began to move forward. Awesome. 

Brad Minus: Yeah, it was pretty much the same for me.

I mean, I'd already been coaching but it almost was the exact same thing. It was, someone told me, well, you should coach. And then I did. Like you said, you went to different groups. I went to different running stores. And I started doing clinics, for groups. And then all of a sudden somebody from the clinic would say, well, I'd like to go further than this.

Or, you know, what are your rates? What do you, how would you help us out? And I'd be like, okay, you know, we can do that. And then one person led to another led to [00:33:00] referrals and, you know, bond that just rolled that way. Just like with you, you went to the different groups and then finally got talked to, at this group that you were talking about, in Phoenix, which to me would in my aspect would have been the running store.

And then all of a sudden, things start rocking and rolling and I get that COVID did help a lot, just for the fact that people were meeting more online. For me, it made it easier because they wanted you outside. Right. So very easy for me to either do in person or, zoom.

So it made things a little bit more prosperous, especially since I. I had gone down. You know, I couldn't, I, what I was doing, I was doing a contract and, the company that I was working for was like, all right, well, if you're on contract, you can't work outside the office. You got to, if you're a contractor, you've got to work in the office and we can't have anybody in the office.

Therefore, you were contacting, you were contacting. Canceling your contract. So, I went the same, you know, literally the same route. So I get it. I totally get [00:34:00] it. So, from there, where did, where did, when did you start thinking about writing a book? 

Kirk McCarley: Well, as I mentioned, was working with this fellow and with his tabloid.

And, he gave me some space in his monthly publication to put my blogs out there. So a couple of things happened, Brad. One, he said, this is pretty good stuff. You really ought to write a book. And I was like, okay. The other thing I have all these blogs and there's over a hundred of them. Now I got to do something with them.

Go back to number one. You ought to write a book. Number three, I started researching that a little bit and learned that 81 percent of people have a desire at some point in their lives to write a book, but only 1 percent actually do. And so I kind of challenged myself and I said, I'd like to be the top 1 percent in something before I leave this earth.

So. I was [00:35:00] motivated. 

Brad Minus: How long, so did you use, did you repurpose the material from the blogs or did you expound on it or a little bit of both? 

Kirk McCarley: A little bit of both. I had the material. How do I organize this in a coherent way? Because the way these blogs come up is maybe it's an experience I've had, an observation, something that happened long ago, like getting my head beat up against the corner of a coffee table.

It could have been any assortment of things, but it would relate back to something having to do with coaching, oftentimes sports. leadership communications. So those kind of became broad categories and how might this blog fit into one of those categories? As it turned out, there are 77 of the blogs that are repurposed that are in the book.

They're updated to bring it up to current times and [00:36:00] Man, I've learned a lot through this process. I didn't know anything about editing and copywriting and getting permission to use photos. It's been some schooling over these past couple of years for sure. 

Brad Minus: Yeah, that's interesting. I'll put this out there cause I'm in the middle of doing that right now.

You know, I always do my own take on it as a blog, that's on my website and you can see that when this, gets published, there's a companion blog that goes along with it. So yeah, I'm in the midst of looking at the same thing, which is why I asked.

I was very curious since you said you can't come to your blog. I was like, well, that's what I've been thinking about doing. And I, and I started organizing them and doing kind of like this short story type thing. Handbills soup for the soul, you know, life changing challenges and stories about, you know, people turning the corner.

So that's, you know, that's what all this is about, you know, and that's, that's why I did, I started the podcast in the first place. So, yeah, so contemplating [00:37:00] it's, I mean, no, I mean, no, it's going to happen. I don't know if I'm just going to call it the life changing challengers. Podcast journal or, you know, podcasts, a company or something like that, you know, something like that, or call it, you know, challenger soup for the soul.

Where did you come up with the idea to call it thoughts for my kids and other people's kids? 

Kirk McCarley: Great question. I've always, I, and I guess as I get older, I appreciate it more. My innermost desire is to have wisdom. To build that and to share that wisdom. When I got into such a position that I had a platform to do that, I've got two kids and I would, as they were growing up, write them letters periodically, encouragement, correction, whatever was needed.

I continue to. text my kids four days out [00:38:00] of the week and their significant others. Just kind of a thought for the day. And maybe it matters, maybe it doesn't, but I'm hopeful that over the course of time it almost has a little bit of an appeal, like out of the book of Proverbs, let's say for instance, just observations, experiences for growing up.

So I labeled it thoughts for my kids. But so much more because we're all somebody's kids. So it could be them. It could be you and me. It could be someone that I've coached before. It could be someone that I've learned from. So I borrowed a slogan that I remember as a kid from the Fort Worth Zoo that said fun for all kids between the ages of four and 84.

Brad Minus: Great. Did you give, initial copies to your kids to read? 

Kirk McCarley: I gave the finished copy and I of course signed it. And then people have supplied me with testimonials for it. [00:39:00] I'm sending them copies along the way.

So I've got three more to send out, One of them, his wife, she's reading it now. So, maybe to discern something about her father in law. 

Brad Minus: Right. 

Kirk McCarley: Okay, I'm gonna use it against him now. But, knock yourself out, Stephanie. 

Brad Minus: Were your kids, receptive to it?

Did they tell you that you embarrassed them? 

Kirk McCarley: Oh, I've embarrassed them enough that they're calloused like I was, but my son in particular was very encouraging. He said, dad, I'm proud of you for doing this. This is cool. Thank you for sharing it with me. And, That felt good. I say to people who have kids that have left the nest now, they're adults, the greatest, gift that your kids can give you as adults is to ask you for your advice, 

I want them to discover things on their [00:40:00] own. I don't want to be a helicopter. I was enough of that as they were growing up, but now please use me as a resource as I can be so he'll call me in particular, and we have good conversations and he'll ask me, what would you do in this situation? That's gold.

For me as a parent, 

Brad Minus: I still ask my dad at the same time all the time. I go to my dad for, for advice all the time. You know, I go to him for like life advice. He comes to me for technical advice. Which then that gets to be a little bit, we covered this didn't. Oh, but I'm like, all right, I got this going on.

Tell me what to do. He's like, well, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'll tell you what I did, you know? So it's great, you know? And I appreciate my father more than anything in the world. And I imagine, you getting such fulfillment from them asking you, for advice, did you, oh, so this, you just [00:41:00] published this then, it's a 2023.

Kirk McCarley: October 1st is when it came out. So I started working on it in, 23 and then 24 became the refinement period development of a manuscript, working with an editor, which was such a valuable process. I love the editor that I worked with. And then, okay, what's your font going to be, what's your cover going to be and making all those decisions, acquiring the rights to some of the pictures that are in there, not acquiring the rights to some of the pictures that aren't in there or one that is, and just kind of going through all that process.

Brad Minus: Nice, nice. So, did you find that, was that the more tedious part of it? Was the refinement or was it actually the writing? 

Kirk McCarley: You know, I would bite the elephant one, one bite at a time because it was overwhelming. But let me just do this today. Let me go to Shutterstock and at least get some of these pictures [00:42:00] that I want to use and that's done.

I can check that off that to do list. So, let me proofread what the editor has done for 15 or 20 pages today and go through that. And each time I would make my revisions to what she had revised, she would send them back again. There would be less to do the next time, send them back to her.

She would review again, less the next time. So it eventually funnels itself down to, okay, it's not perfect, but it's good. And the driving mechanism became the Nike slogan. Just do it. And so many people that would advise me on that say at the end of the day, just get it done. And that was the end goal 

Brad Minus: Absolutely love it. Take into bite sized pieces. That's what I do in my, coaching and for, my, my, my career as a I. T. project manager, you know, it's basically we come [00:43:00] up with a schedule and a list of things that need to be done. By hierarchy and by path.

We take bites out of it, getting this done, this done, this done, in my coaching, it's like, all right, you want to get to a goal? We need to be at this pace and this speed and this distance by this point, a little bit more this point, a little bit more this point, you know, and then you modify it on the way.

So I think that's something that we can all have a lesson about is you've got big things that you want to get done is to break them down into small pieces. 

Kirk McCarley: Same thing that I use as an approach to coaching. We identify each meeting I have with a client. What is it that you want to center our conversation or meeting on today?

And if this meeting is going to be successful for you, what will have been achieved by the end of it? And they'll maybe enumerate three things. Which of these would you like to tackle? Which is most important to you right now? Well, let's focus on my executive presence. Who do you need to [00:44:00] be? As an executive, as you visualize that, what does that look like to you?

What does that feel like to you? So we start to break that down into minute pieces. We haven't conquered the world by the end of our hour long meeting, but we've got a snippet of it that has gotten better. And we're going to build that into our habit. It's going to become a new part of who we are. We'll try that out next time we get together.

How's that going? I'm at a new level. Okay, let's move to the next one. 

Brad Minus: That's perfect. Level up, you know, it's almost like gamification, which, you know, obviously is the new buzzword, that's been, you know, hanging around for the last five years, which I think is definitely a way to go.

I think it's a good theory. So game theory is good. So, but anyway, yeah, so Kirk, like a lot of great information came out of this episode, and I really appreciate you joining us. You have any final words of wisdom?[00:45:00] 

Kirk McCarley: I say this in many of the podcasts that I'm in, but for people who are out there now, struggling, move, do something. It's like I said before with the book, just do it. My biggest enemy is when I get landlocked and I'm not doing anything.

I get bored. First of all, then I'll get depressed. Just go do something. and build some momentum on that. I love, the book by the Admiral. Start each day, just make your bed. You've accomplished something, and the momentum you gain from that activity is going to lead to something else, which will lead to something else, and pretty soon the wheels are turning.

Brad Minus: I love like going for walks and just being able to record something. And sometimes I'll, put music in or I'll put in a podcast and I'll get an idea and I'll turn [00:46:00] off the podcast. Luckily, our phones are just amazing tools. I'll turn off the podcast. I'll hit the note and I'll record something that I have an idea. I'll go back and finish listening to the podcast as I'm walking. And then all of a sudden you get back, you've got like a string of notes and then all of a sudden the momentum starts to build.

Yes, that's what I want to do this. Let's move this. Where are we going to put it? How are we going to get it done? Put it on your schedule, knock yourself out and move on from there. So, yeah. Great information. So Kirk, anyway, for the rest of you, if you want to, get in touch with Kirk, he is the seed sower coach.

So the seed sower coach. com that'll be in the show notes. Also his book thoughts for my kids. And other people's kids, which is, I'm assuming you've got that on Amazon. 

Kirk McCarley: It's on Amazon in either print or a ebook form. And I want to credit my wife. That's her picture of our, granddaughter, one of our granddaughters.

Brad Minus: So 

Kirk McCarley: That's a compliment on some of her photography [00:47:00] and, indicative of what she does is a, interior designer. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. She's got the eye, you know, so why not use it? 

Kirk McCarley: I married up, and for every guy that's out there, I hope you have the same success I've had. 

Brad Minus: So that's fantastic.

I, and I appreciate that. So take a look at that thoughts for my kids and other people's kids. And I'll also have a direct link to that in the show notes. And then it looks like you are, are you active on Facebook and LinkedIn? 

Kirk McCarley: LinkedIn both and soon to have an Instagram presence.

My social media person's working on that now. And there will be a Kirk McCarley author dot com site out there soon as well. So, coming attractions. 

Brad Minus: All right. Well, well, I publish twice a week, so this will not be that far off into the distance. And I'll make sure that if that's the case, I'll contact you ahead of time.

And if that's a live, then we'll put that in the show notes as well. For the rest of you, if you enjoyed. What you're seeing today maybe you're looking on [00:48:00] YouTube, then hit that like button, subscribe. If you haven't already hit the notification bell, so you always know when there's a new episode 

if you're listening on Apple or on Spotify, go ahead and leave us a review. And you know what, if you. Don't like this. Leave me a bad review. At least I know I've got some feedback and I can go ahead and make this and make it evolve. Luckily, the only things I've gotten so far are positive, which is wonderful, they don't have to all be positive because I get to learn something, and make the podcast evolve. So again, thank you. Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate it, Kirk. Thank you again. And for the rest of you, we'll see you in the next one.