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June 19, 2024

From Homelessness to Million Dollar Entrepreneur with Sabine Schoepke

From Homelessness to Million Dollar Entrepreneur with Sabine Schoepke
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Life Changing Challengers
From Homelessness to Million Dollar Entrepreneur with Sabine Schoepke
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Season 1

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From homelessness to entrepreneurial success, Sabine Schoepke's story is nothing short of remarkable. Imagine relocating to a new country at 17 and facing the daunting challenge of homelessness, only to rise above and launch your first business at 19. Sabine takes us through her incredible journey from her roots in Nuremberg, Germany, to navigating the streets of Toronto, and ultimately establishing a thriving import business that funded her education and set the stage for her entrepreneurial achievements.

Join us as Sabine shares her philosophy of a "no-options" mindset, a powerful approach that leaves no room for failure and drives relentless pursuit of one's goals. Her experiences span across multiple ventures, including e-commerce and legal battles, showcasing the significance of adaptability and persistence. You'll hear firsthand accounts of Sabine's financial struggles, the importance of a supportive community, and the creative solutions she employed to overcome adversity.

But Sabine's story doesn't end with business success. She opens up about personal challenges, including health issues, traumatic events, and the path to recovery and self-discovery. From creating a top-selling jewelry business on Etsy to her dedication to fitness and mental well-being, Sabine's journey is a testament to resilience and inner strength. Tune in to explore the transformative phases of her life, her bestselling book "The Love Odyssey," and her collaborative podcasting efforts, reminding us all of the profound impact of following one's passion and the true meaning of fulfillment.

(CORRECTION: The episode incorrectly stated that Life Changing Challengers releases on Mondays. It actually airs on Wednesdays. Our apologies for the confusion.)

Buy Sabine's Book: The Love Odyssey: An Adventure in Relationship Exploration
Listen to her Podcast: The Power Life

 Contact Sabine
Instagram: @sabine_power_life
LinkedIn: Sabine Schoepke
ThePowerLifeCoach.com


Contact Brad @ Life Changing Challengers
Instagram: @bradaminus
Facebook: @bradaminus
X(Twitter): @bradaminus
YouTube: @lifechangingchallengers
LifeChangingChallengers.com

Chapters

00:26 - From Homeless Teen to Successful Entrepreneur

09:39 - Overcoming Challenges and Changing Paths

24:26 - Coping With Financial Setbacks and Resilience

28:07 - Apartment to Million Dollar Business

37:02 - Surviving Trauma and Seeking Justice

50:25 - A Journey of Self-Discovery and Transformation

01:02:40 - Empowering Podcast Collaboration and Life Discovery

01:14:13 - Inner Game Determines Outer Gain

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:01.965 --> 00:00:04.671
And welcome back to another episode of Life Changing Challengers.

00:00:04.671 --> 00:00:12.894
Again, I'm your host, B brad Minus, and I am very lucky to have the queen of life coaching, S sabine Schoepke.

00:00:12.894 --> 00:00:17.411
She's a life coach, she's an author, she's a podcaster, she's an entrepreneurial coach.

00:00:17.411 --> 00:00:21.411
The woman does everything and she's a bodybuilder who would have thought right.

00:00:21.411 --> 00:00:23.181
So welcome, sabine.

00:00:23.181 --> 00:00:24.044
How are you doing today?

00:00:24.044 --> 00:00:25.806
I am so good.

00:00:25.887 --> 00:00:28.391
Thank you, it's so nice to be on your show.

00:00:28.391 --> 00:00:29.253
Thanks for having me.

00:00:34.859 --> 00:00:36.085
Oh, I appreciate it and thank you for joining us.

00:00:36.085 --> 00:00:36.747
So let's just dive right in.

00:00:36.747 --> 00:00:47.737
So can you tell us a little bit about your childhood, your background, where you grew up and like the compliment to your family a typical day, growing up, hardship, successes any of that stuff into your family, a typical day, growing up, hardships, successes, any of that stuff.

00:00:47.758 --> 00:00:48.880
So I'm originally from Germany.

00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:58.369
I left Germany on my own when I was 17 with the desire to learn another language and I went to Canada by myself and I really enjoyed that.

00:00:58.369 --> 00:01:08.046
I really enjoyed being on my own and learning the language and being challenged like that, and I decided to stay, which my parents said nope, you have two other siblings.

00:01:08.046 --> 00:01:12.203
We can't afford it because it's very expensive to send your kids into international schools.

00:01:12.203 --> 00:01:15.191
And you got to come back and I said, no, I'm not coming back.

00:01:15.191 --> 00:01:27.272
And so I figured I tried to figure it out myself and I got a scholarship after the first year that tied me over for a couple of years and then I wanted to go to university in Canada.

00:01:27.272 --> 00:01:34.490
I had big dreams of becoming a businesswoman and going to business school in Canada.

00:01:34.490 --> 00:01:37.215
So yeah, Hang on.

00:01:37.480 --> 00:01:38.403
Hang on one second.

00:01:38.403 --> 00:01:38.864
We are.

00:01:38.864 --> 00:01:41.867
You're starting me off at 17.

00:01:41.867 --> 00:01:43.980
At 17, I got one more year and you're an adult.

00:01:43.980 --> 00:01:46.331
I asked you about your childhood.

00:01:46.331 --> 00:01:47.859
I know but You're talking about Germany.

00:01:47.859 --> 00:01:51.108
You're talking to Americans here.

00:01:51.108 --> 00:01:53.808
We want to know what it's like to grow up in a different country.

00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:59.152
It was pretty uneventful.

00:01:59.152 --> 00:02:09.290
I have two brothers that are younger and my father, especially, was always very much into languages, so he supported me going overseas.

00:02:09.290 --> 00:02:19.649
I grew up in southern Germany, in Nuremberg, which is about an hour north of Munich, and I spent all of my summers and winters actually in the German Alps, which is going to be significant later on when we talk about the rest of my story.

00:02:19.649 --> 00:02:26.262
And yeah, I love the German Alps, which is going to be significant later on to when we talk about the rest of my story.

00:02:26.262 --> 00:02:29.067
And yeah, I love the German Alps.

00:02:29.067 --> 00:02:33.514
And yeah, and then at 17, they're like go?

00:02:33.554 --> 00:02:34.034
you lie.

00:02:34.034 --> 00:02:36.003
They decided to go to Canada.

00:02:36.003 --> 00:02:39.072
So, growing up, what did your dad do?

00:02:40.379 --> 00:02:43.883
My dad was pretty much a consultant.

00:02:43.883 --> 00:03:07.269
Both of my parents were self-employed, they had various businesses and he was a consultant for international companies and he, yeah, he loved the travel, he loved the languages and always tried to instill that in us and the entrepreneurial spirit really was instilled through both of my parents, was instilled through both of my parents and so, all right, that's great, just to give us a little bit of a taste, you know what I mean.

00:03:07.751 --> 00:03:11.883
Okay, so you decided to go to university, and where was that that?

00:03:11.924 --> 00:03:17.771
was in London, ontario, so that was about two and a half hours west of Toronto.

00:03:17.771 --> 00:03:34.418
But so because my parents did not want to really or couldn't financially support this, I said I'm going to do this on my own and I didn't really share much with them how I did it, but I ended up starting my first business at 19.

00:03:34.418 --> 00:03:38.439
And when I started it, though, I was completely broke.

00:03:38.439 --> 00:03:46.008
I was homeless in Toronto, in a park in downtown Toronto, and I started my first business on a park bench.

00:03:46.008 --> 00:03:57.711
And the thing is, because of my upbringing and because, seeing my parents, I feel like I always had the mindset to see opportunities and at that point I knew what it is that I wanted to do.

00:03:57.812 --> 00:04:07.764
I saw opportunity by traveling back and forth between the two continents, in buying merchandise in North America and bringing it over to Europe.

00:04:07.764 --> 00:04:11.360
And really all of my friends at the time were like can you bring me a pair of Levi's?

00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:14.487
That was really the decisive thing, the Levi's.

00:04:14.487 --> 00:04:18.663
And then I was like, how about I bring a lot of Levi's and I sell them over there?

00:04:18.663 --> 00:04:34.720
So that was my idea back then and I started to set up a network of buying branded goods in, at the time in Canada, buying them from retailers and then filling entire aircrafts with that and sending them over to Europe.

00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:39.805
And then I got my parents involved in that and I said why don't you distribute this over?

00:04:39.805 --> 00:04:46.050
So that's really what I did at 19.

00:04:46.411 --> 00:04:49.093
So you basically did retail arbitrage.

00:04:50.154 --> 00:04:51.776
I did what they call gray market.

00:04:51.776 --> 00:05:02.911
So gray market is when you purchase goods and you don't have the official, like I didn't have the license to sell them overseas, but I didn't really care.

00:05:02.911 --> 00:05:05.516
I was like, okay, stop me, which they did along the way.

00:05:05.516 --> 00:05:23.964
As the business grew, they did try to stop me and because it became so big that I really I was very disruptive in the European market and then I spread it out into different goods, into from Levi's to other clothing brands, to workout equipment, to bicycles, to barbecues, like whatever you can think of.

00:05:31.379 --> 00:05:32.483
Whenever I saw an opportunity'm like I'm shipping this.

00:05:32.483 --> 00:05:32.684
And I did.

00:05:32.684 --> 00:05:34.288
And yeah, it was a phenomenal business and it paid for my schooling and it.

00:05:34.288 --> 00:05:39.562
I got my brothers involved and then they came over and I helped them to get started over there.

00:05:39.562 --> 00:05:54.362
And then I realized I went to school, I went to business school, I graduated and four years later and then I was like I don't need a job, I have a job.

00:05:54.903 --> 00:05:58.391
And so I got job offers and I never took a job.

00:05:58.391 --> 00:06:14.495
I thought it was crazy, Like the money they offered me, I'm like, oh, I'm not doing this, I'm way better off, I'm traveling, I'm doing whatever I want to do and I have the freedom already and the money is a joke, so I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing.

00:06:14.495 --> 00:06:29.538
And then I expanded the business from Toronto into North America, into California really, and I started to actually build my own, because before I was just buying from retailers and I was like what about cutting out the middleman?

00:06:29.538 --> 00:06:38.523
And so I started to set up my own retail locations and I bought it directly from the manufacturers and expanded into pretty much the entire West Coast.

00:06:39.225 --> 00:06:42.091
Oh my God, All right, so we got to step back another minute.

00:06:42.091 --> 00:06:44.903
All right, because there's a lot of questions.

00:06:44.903 --> 00:06:54.795
All right, how does a 19-year-old, broke and homeless get capital to start buying, retailing and shipping it overseas?

00:07:01.980 --> 00:07:04.754
So that's the beautiful thing and that's at the time I didn't know this, but I always followed my heart and I followed my gut.

00:07:04.754 --> 00:07:06.021
I think that's what really helped me.

00:07:06.021 --> 00:07:08.927
Like, looking back now, I think that was really crazy.

00:07:08.927 --> 00:07:14.992
I look at my kids that are now almost 21, but even like a couple of years ago, I'm like gosh.

00:07:14.992 --> 00:07:20.170
I can't imagine like like just letting them run loose and do this on a different continent.

00:07:20.170 --> 00:07:21.634
But I never.

00:07:22.577 --> 00:07:27.584
I remember sitting on that park bench and like not knowing how am I going to get to the appointment.

00:07:27.584 --> 00:07:28.764
I was like just walk.

00:07:28.764 --> 00:07:32.168
So I would walk for hours, I would walk to appointments.

00:07:32.168 --> 00:07:40.714
And then I remember going to a freight forwarder at the airport in Toronto and saying, okay, this is what I need, I need rates from you for shipping stuff.

00:07:40.714 --> 00:07:42.916
And then they were like okay, and then how are you going to pay for this?

00:07:42.916 --> 00:07:43.958
And I said, oh, I need credit line shipping stuff.

00:07:43.958 --> 00:07:46.240
And then they were like, okay, and then how are you going to pay for this?

00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:49.382
And I said, oh, I need credit line.

00:07:49.382 --> 00:07:52.879
And then, by the way, I also need part of your warehouse because I don't have a warehouse and I need to store this stuff somewhere and I need to repackage it.

00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:59.353
And I was very lucky because I always found people who believed in me and gave me a chance.

00:07:59.353 --> 00:08:16.682
And I really, today, I know that life just works like that when you, when your heart and soul is in something and it really was, because I never for a moment, looking back, I did I think what if this doesn't work?

00:08:16.682 --> 00:08:22.983
Like I'm not going to be able to go to school next year because I have no money, like I never thought about this.

00:08:22.983 --> 00:08:24.627
I'm like, yeah, this is what I'm going to do.

00:08:24.627 --> 00:08:31.803
Like there was never a safety net, there was never anything where I thought, okay, there's a plan B.

00:08:31.803 --> 00:08:32.525
There was never.

00:08:32.525 --> 00:08:43.570
And I had my heart and soul in it and my faith as in not a religious faith, but my faith in yeah, of course, this is going to work.

00:08:43.971 --> 00:08:51.503
I told my parents a few months later and once I came to them, I said, okay, can we do this together?

00:08:51.503 --> 00:08:52.605
Do you want to do this?

00:08:52.605 --> 00:08:54.188
Do you want to distribute the merchandise for me?

00:08:54.188 --> 00:08:57.822
And I remember my mom breaking down, crying, said oh my God, how did you do this?

00:08:57.822 --> 00:09:00.726
My poor child.

00:09:00.726 --> 00:09:04.150
And I said, no, it was fine.

00:09:04.150 --> 00:09:05.974
She said you should have called us.

00:09:05.974 --> 00:09:09.864
I said, no, there was no way I was going to do this on my own.

00:09:09.864 --> 00:09:13.929
I didn't want help.

00:09:14.692 --> 00:09:24.865
That is a testament right there to a different, to a mindset and I know this is probably something that you teach in coaching but the mindset of no, there's just no other option.

00:09:24.865 --> 00:09:33.409
This is the way I'm going to do it and it's going to work versus people like and I'm one of them, I'm totally one of them, I'm like all right, I'd like to do this, even this podcast.

00:09:33.409 --> 00:09:38.485
It took me a year to get this podcast off the ground and finally I just said what am I waiting for?

00:09:38.485 --> 00:09:39.485
And I got it done.

00:09:39.485 --> 00:09:42.168
And you just didn't do that.

00:09:42.168 --> 00:09:46.634
You just were like okay, I'm broke, big deal, I got college bills to pay.

00:09:46.634 --> 00:09:48.195
Big deal, I'll figure out a way out of it.

00:09:48.195 --> 00:09:48.676
And you did.

00:09:48.676 --> 00:09:54.149
It's just, there was nothing else.

00:09:54.149 --> 00:09:55.471
That's a mindset within itself.

00:09:55.471 --> 00:09:57.464
Yeah, if other people have done it.

00:09:59.549 --> 00:10:00.091
I can do it.

00:10:00.091 --> 00:10:02.947
You just got to push through it.

00:10:02.947 --> 00:10:05.500
And yes, of course there's moments where it's very uncomfortable.

00:10:05.500 --> 00:10:07.604
You're like how do I get there?

00:10:07.604 --> 00:10:12.472
I work for hours and where do I stay, I don't know.

00:10:12.472 --> 00:10:15.904
Like back then we had no cell phones.

00:10:15.904 --> 00:10:23.264
Like I would sit there and they like grab a yellow page or somewhere or something and like go through the phone book and say who, who do I know?

00:10:23.264 --> 00:10:24.325
Who did I go to school with?

00:10:24.325 --> 00:10:25.287
Who lives in Toronto?

00:10:25.287 --> 00:10:26.869
Like where can I couch surf?

00:10:26.869 --> 00:10:33.724
I slept on floors but I was so focused I'm like I'm going to do this, I don't care how.

00:10:35.889 --> 00:10:42.280
So yeah, like you said, you had a lot of people that believed in you, and that's part of it, right, some of it.

00:10:42.280 --> 00:11:06.172
Part of it is you've got finding some place to sleep and finding some place to crash, and when people believe in you, they're going to do that because they're probably going to get it back somewhere down the line situation after our meeting.

00:11:06.192 --> 00:11:07.498
He said, okay, let me walk you down to your car.

00:11:07.498 --> 00:11:09.880
And I'm like, oh God.

00:11:09.880 --> 00:11:10.684
I said actually I came with the subway.

00:11:10.684 --> 00:11:11.850
And he's like oh, you walked quite a bit from the subway.

00:11:11.850 --> 00:11:13.557
And I'm like, yeah, that's okay, I enjoy walking, I'll walk back.

00:11:13.557 --> 00:11:15.322
And he was like no, let me take you to the subway.

00:11:15.322 --> 00:11:19.086
And I'm thinking I don't even have money to take the subway.

00:11:19.528 --> 00:11:28.306
And in Toronto you drive into the subway area, into the drop-off area, and I'm like I don't want to go there, I don't have money for a ticket.

00:11:28.306 --> 00:11:30.163
So eventually I told him.

00:11:30.163 --> 00:11:32.988
I said, okay, listen, I'm going to be really honest.

00:11:32.988 --> 00:11:35.952
I walked, he's like for more.

00:11:35.952 --> 00:11:36.995
I said downtown.

00:11:36.995 --> 00:11:39.427
It's like are you serious?

00:11:39.427 --> 00:11:41.828
I said, yeah, I'm going to make this happen.

00:11:41.828 --> 00:11:51.087
And so he ended up giving me money for a subway and he was like here, go take a couple of bucks, please go home.

00:11:51.087 --> 00:11:53.150
I'm like, but?

00:11:53.150 --> 00:11:54.854
And I asked him a couple years later.

00:11:54.854 --> 00:12:02.503
I said, god, I thought when you were like I'll take you to your car, I'm like I don't have a car, like, I seem like such a loser.

00:12:02.503 --> 00:12:05.889
But I was like now, this is it either?

00:12:05.889 --> 00:12:06.892
What am I gonna do?

00:12:06.892 --> 00:12:08.442
And he's like no, I believed in you.

00:12:08.442 --> 00:12:10.870
I could tell you were determined to make this happen.

00:12:10.870 --> 00:12:14.222
And he's like I had nothing to lose.

00:12:14.222 --> 00:12:16.470
Give you a warehouse for a month, see what are you going to do with it.

00:12:16.470 --> 00:12:19.307
And I became one of his best clients.

00:12:19.366 --> 00:12:25.551
I filled entire aircrafts with crap and it worked and they got paid.

00:12:25.551 --> 00:12:32.427
So, of course, their risk and your risk together came out and you got rewards out of it, right?

00:12:32.427 --> 00:12:33.028
Risk reward?

00:12:33.028 --> 00:12:34.883
Yeah, that's amazing.

00:12:34.883 --> 00:12:36.128
How long did you do that for?

00:12:37.779 --> 00:12:42.731
Until they changed the laws where you could no longer import stuff.

00:12:42.731 --> 00:12:49.445
That was one of the reasons they did, because Oakleyley went to the highest court in Europe and said this is not right.

00:12:49.445 --> 00:12:51.145
People can't do that.

00:12:51.145 --> 00:12:54.770
They can't import our goods if they don't have a license.

00:12:54.770 --> 00:12:58.349
And they shut it down in what was it?

00:12:58.349 --> 00:13:01.586
96 or 97, probably something like that.

00:13:02.539 --> 00:13:09.543
And then I was like, okay, and at that time I had a life partner, him and I, we did it together.

00:13:09.543 --> 00:13:11.264
We split up the world into different parts.

00:13:11.264 --> 00:13:12.924
We're like we're going to do this all over the world.

00:13:12.924 --> 00:13:23.168
And so I had Europe and he had Switzerland and Japan, and, funny enough, all of Europe fell away for me.

00:13:23.168 --> 00:13:30.712
But Switzerland is not part of the EU, so he kept working and Japan is fine, you can still do that there.

00:13:30.712 --> 00:13:32.813
So we continued doing that.

00:13:32.933 --> 00:13:42.677
And then my responsibilities shifted into okay, I'm going to be more behind the scenes and let's just build the retail operations so we can source more goods.

00:13:42.677 --> 00:13:46.442
So I did that for a couple of years.

00:13:46.442 --> 00:13:51.520
And then, oh yeah, when that happened for a few months, I was like, maybe I should get a real job, maybe.

00:13:51.520 --> 00:13:55.230
So I have no regrets, this would be a good opportunity.

00:13:55.230 --> 00:13:56.653
Maybe I should get a real job.

00:13:56.653 --> 00:14:04.746
And I ended up working in marketing and market research for it and I lasted six months and then I realized this is the biggest BS.

00:14:04.746 --> 00:14:06.212
No way I can't do this, but at least I did it.

00:14:06.212 --> 00:14:07.638
And I lasted six months and then I realized this is the biggest BS.

00:14:07.638 --> 00:14:10.166
No way I can't do this, but at least I did it.

00:14:10.166 --> 00:14:16.625
And then I quit and I went back to doing oh, I started a company with oil painting reproductions.

00:14:17.145 --> 00:14:28.990
I worked together with studios in Europe and we created reproductions of oil paintings and I started selling these online and that was really the beginning of e-commerce online.

00:14:28.990 --> 00:14:34.662
I remember Yahoo had like Yahoo Shopping, so I started a shop on there and I started with.

00:14:34.662 --> 00:14:42.145
I called it the bread and butter of like, the Monet's and the Van Gogh's and all of the famous paintings, and I started that.

00:14:42.145 --> 00:14:49.807
And then people started to order like custom paintings of things they saw at the Louvre or whatever, and I started to do that.

00:14:49.807 --> 00:14:54.464
And I started to do corporate work for, like, I worked with Norwegian Cruise Line.

00:14:54.464 --> 00:15:00.442
We outfitted all the suites, like the nicer ones, with actual hand-painted reproductions.

00:15:00.442 --> 00:15:03.268
So I did that for a.

00:15:03.268 --> 00:15:10.548
That was fun because I traveled a lot to Europe andI worked with the studios and I loved art and so that was cool.

00:15:10.750 --> 00:15:12.494
And then I finally became pregnant.

00:15:12.494 --> 00:15:17.761
That was a challenge, that was probably one of my biggest challenges, and I ended up getting pregnant with twins.

00:15:17.761 --> 00:15:21.929
And that's like even me.

00:15:21.929 --> 00:15:24.354
I was like, oh, I can do anything, I'm superwoman.

00:15:24.354 --> 00:15:27.402
I was like this is killing me.

00:15:27.402 --> 00:15:28.043
I can't do this, this.

00:15:28.043 --> 00:15:29.807
I can't run a business and take care of two babies.

00:15:29.807 --> 00:15:30.408
I can't.

00:15:30.408 --> 00:15:31.831
I never sleep anymore.

00:15:31.831 --> 00:15:32.721
I can't do this.

00:15:32.721 --> 00:15:38.736
And I ended up selling the business and took care of the babies probably.

00:15:38.856 --> 00:15:41.383
Yeah, you see, so you decided to.

00:15:41.383 --> 00:15:44.049
You started just to enjoy motherhood.

00:15:44.049 --> 00:15:51.374
How long did that last for somebody that's a go A-type and serial entrepreneur?

00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:55.326
I think it lasted for about three to four years when they were really little.

00:15:55.326 --> 00:15:56.750
Yeah, it was hard.

00:15:56.750 --> 00:16:02.649
It was really hard, but I realized I'm like I can't hand this over to somebody else.

00:16:02.649 --> 00:16:05.710
I tried for so long and it was such a hard, it was such a struggle to get there and I'm like I can't hand this over to somebody else.

00:16:05.710 --> 00:16:08.759
I tried for so long and it was such a hard, it was such a struggle to get there and I'm like I can't.

00:16:08.759 --> 00:16:09.825
I need to enjoy this.

00:16:11.822 --> 00:16:14.211
You were thinking about getting a nanny or an au pair or something.

00:16:14.211 --> 00:16:15.787
You just decided that wasn't going to happen.

00:16:16.659 --> 00:16:23.447
Well, at the very beginning I tried to be a superwoman there too and I tried to do it all on my own.

00:16:23.447 --> 00:16:27.403
And then superwoman there too, and I tried to do it all on my own.

00:16:27.403 --> 00:16:33.201
And then, after six weeks of never sleeping anymore, I was ready to run away and abandon everybody and everything and I was like, oh my god, this is getting to me.

00:16:33.201 --> 00:16:34.144
I never sleep anymore.

00:16:34.144 --> 00:16:42.520
And then I got a night nurse for six weeks who helped me put these kids on a schedule and at three months they were both sleeping beautifully through the night.

00:16:42.520 --> 00:16:46.346
I'm like, okay, I'm okay again, I can, I can function.

00:16:46.346 --> 00:16:56.568
And then I pretty much did it on my own for most, yeah, for the most part but you still had a partner at that time yes, I did.

00:16:56.668 --> 00:17:07.894
And then we ended up moving to new york and got into like construction, buying properties, building homes.

00:17:07.894 --> 00:17:25.508
I went into real estate and then the big burst of the bubble happened and at the same time one of the properties our main property at the time which was like I don't know five, six million dollar property, was put on fire and the insurance didn't pay and we lost everything.

00:17:25.508 --> 00:17:43.724
We lost everything we had ever worked for, and so that was a big bump in the road and it really divided us because I, after the initial shock and like I was like, okay, what are we going to do?

00:17:43.724 --> 00:17:46.211
Like, let's just start over.

00:17:46.211 --> 00:17:48.205
Insurance paid nothing.

00:17:48.205 --> 00:17:50.948
No, they paid very little, very little.

00:17:50.948 --> 00:17:56.740
All of our money was in this and like multiple, seven figures, everything we had ever made.

00:17:56.740 --> 00:18:01.759
And then they paid very little because there was one of the boxes.

00:18:01.759 --> 00:18:13.147
We had switched insurances halfway through or towards the end, a little bit more, and one of the boxes wasn't checked, that the curious part of the building was also insured with.

00:18:13.147 --> 00:18:13.488
That.

00:18:13.488 --> 00:18:32.460
You know how, like, the insurance policies have like pages and pages of fine print and we trusted the agent who sat down with us and said sign here, and we did, and then the insurance was hiding behind that and they're like no, we're only gonna pay for like the last I don't know month of construction.

00:18:32.460 --> 00:18:34.305
And it was nothing.

00:18:35.607 --> 00:18:38.255
It was one of the biggest fires long island ever had.

00:18:38.255 --> 00:18:40.440
It was unbelievable.

00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:42.528
It just it melted everything.

00:18:42.528 --> 00:18:46.402
It was a beautiful property overlooking the long island sound.

00:18:46.402 --> 00:18:50.354
Even trucks that were parked in front of it melted, like it was just.

00:18:50.354 --> 00:18:51.919
It was crazy.

00:18:51.919 --> 00:18:53.183
They just had to let it burn out.

00:18:53.183 --> 00:19:01.451
And I remember standing there in the middle of the night with the police and fire department and there, and I was like, oh my god, this is unbelievable.

00:19:01.451 --> 00:19:03.585
And they were like, oh, don't worry about it, insurance gonna pay and to pay.

00:19:03.585 --> 00:19:07.545
And I'm like, okay, no, they did not.

00:19:08.186 --> 00:19:11.348
Wow, were you able to sell the land.

00:19:12.740 --> 00:19:13.965
Yes, they did.

00:19:13.965 --> 00:19:18.672
Then, right after that, the whole bubble burst and nothing was worth anything anymore.

00:19:18.672 --> 00:19:21.663
And yeah, it was we, my partner and I.

00:19:21.663 --> 00:19:27.188
We dealt with things very differently and, like I said, after the initial shock I was like okay, you know what?

00:19:27.188 --> 00:19:28.269
Let's look at it this way.

00:19:28.269 --> 00:19:29.390
This is exciting.

00:19:29.390 --> 00:19:33.294
We're going to start over, let's do something new, let's tackle a new project.

00:19:33.294 --> 00:19:34.434
We've both done this.

00:19:34.434 --> 00:19:36.136
We both have come from nothing.

00:19:36.136 --> 00:19:38.202
Let's do this.

00:19:38.202 --> 00:19:41.491
And he just looked at me and he's like you're crazy, no way.

00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:49.362
And that was the beginning of the end.

00:19:49.362 --> 00:19:59.369
Yeah, oh, what else were you gonna do, especially you who went from nothing to something and did it while you were in school and just kept going at it, selling businesses coming back being a success, coming back somebody's being a success.

00:19:59.369 --> 00:20:01.502
So what else could you possibly do?

00:20:01.502 --> 00:20:07.942
I'm shocked, actually, that somebody like this, who knew you that this was a yeah, for him it was very.

00:20:08.242 --> 00:20:12.833
There was a lot of shame attached to it of failure, which to me it wasn't.

00:20:12.833 --> 00:20:15.670
It was like, okay, it happened.

00:20:15.670 --> 00:20:28.542
Okay, I'm sure things could have gone different if we had read all the pages of this insurance thing, but we didn't, and most people don't, and there's no, there were kids.

00:20:28.542 --> 00:20:29.224
It was kids who put it on fire.

00:20:29.224 --> 00:20:41.906
They broke in there, they had a party, they smoked and they put the cigarette butts into a big bin where there was like stuff from painting and it caught on fire and it was like a big chimney and it just the whole thing burned down.

00:20:41.906 --> 00:20:44.632
Okay, it, it's life.

00:20:44.632 --> 00:20:50.063
And, yeah, he was, he felt very ashamed for what happened and that we lost it all.

00:20:50.063 --> 00:20:56.041
But I didn't see it that way and I was like, oh, let's do something new, let's find a new project.

00:20:56.041 --> 00:20:59.229
We're good and you know.

00:20:59.910 --> 00:21:03.909
So let's pause right here for a second, let's see if we can get a lesson learned in, because I can feel it, it's like it's here, it's.

00:21:03.909 --> 00:21:08.145
Pause right here for a second and see if we can get a lesson learned, because I can feel it, it's like it's here, it's like right there, I can feel it because that.

00:21:08.145 --> 00:21:20.527
So so I don't know if you read or anything, but I'm an endurance coach and I get people crossing finish lines at marathons and Ironman and 135 mile races and Sahara desert races and all that stuff.

00:21:20.527 --> 00:21:28.760
That's my thing, but there's always that there.

00:21:28.760 --> 00:21:33.090
For me it's an injury, but there's sometimes there's an illness, there's something that's going on and that people take that same reaction that your partner took.

00:21:33.111 --> 00:21:34.653
So here's that lesson.

00:21:34.653 --> 00:21:40.928
It's like so for you, again down to nothing, what have you?

00:21:40.928 --> 00:21:43.152
What kind of lesson can we learn?

00:21:43.152 --> 00:21:47.029
Can we give the folks to sit there and say, hey, you know what this happens, it's life.

00:21:47.029 --> 00:21:51.089
Here's the mindset we need to take to go forward.

00:21:56.881 --> 00:22:04.064
Number one life happens, stuff is going to happen.

00:22:04.064 --> 00:22:10.488
It's going to happen to all of us, whether we're sitting homeless somewhere or broke, or we lose something.

00:22:10.488 --> 00:22:13.053
Life happens and that's just part of it.

00:22:13.053 --> 00:22:16.403
And but there is a.

00:22:16.403 --> 00:22:30.717
For me, there's always this beauty in that, because there's always opportunity, that it's like a rebirth that comes out of that.

00:22:30.717 --> 00:22:31.843
It's like what do you say?

00:22:31.843 --> 00:22:33.469
The phoenix rising from the ashes.

00:22:33.469 --> 00:22:39.708
There's this beautiful opportunity to start something new.

00:22:39.708 --> 00:22:41.549
That is so exciting.

00:22:41.750 --> 00:22:57.922
And I feel like when we can focus on that and which I've always done in my life, always then it fills that void that's inside of us where we're like, oh my God, I don't have this or this thing that we could get hung up about.

00:22:57.922 --> 00:23:12.777
That void of the lack that we feel gets filled with this beautiful feeling, this excitement, this passion for something we can focus on.

00:23:12.777 --> 00:23:21.574
And that's what it feels like to me, and like when I look back with everything I've gone through, I can redirect my focus.

00:23:21.574 --> 00:23:25.671
I take it off of what's missing or what's lacking or what went wrong.

00:23:25.671 --> 00:23:28.526
I'm like, okay, it happens, it happens to everybody.

00:23:28.526 --> 00:23:29.688
That's life.

00:23:29.688 --> 00:23:33.320
And then I shift and I'm like and now what?

00:23:33.320 --> 00:23:43.692
And I get super excited about it and yeah, it's just, it always works out.

00:23:43.692 --> 00:24:00.608
That's the thing Life always goes on, it always works out would be okay.

00:24:01.130 --> 00:24:05.894
Like you said, all right now, what I don't have, what am I going after?

00:24:05.894 --> 00:24:16.242
And you focus there, whereas a lot of people are like, okay, wait a second, I'm not going to pay my next mortgage bill, I'm not going to pay my next rent bill, I'm not going to pay the utilities because I just lost everything.

00:24:16.242 --> 00:24:20.808
And you say, yeah, don't worry about that, focus on the creation.

00:24:21.809 --> 00:24:22.490
I mean, isn't that right?

00:24:22.490 --> 00:24:34.770
Yeah, I think there is worrying about it, which is going to no-transcript and that what's next?

00:24:34.770 --> 00:24:38.513
But then it's real yes, we have to pay those bills.

00:24:38.513 --> 00:24:52.804
And somehow I just always made it like, even after everything burned down in New York, and then I knew we had to sell a house to get out of there and I was ready to go back to Europe.

00:24:52.804 --> 00:25:01.298
But the father of my kids, my ex-partner I, was like no, we're not going back to Europe, we're going back to California, we're going to continue doing, we're going to get back to what we used to do.

00:25:01.298 --> 00:25:05.415
And but in the meantime I was sitting and then he took off.

00:25:05.415 --> 00:25:06.417
I was sitting there with the kids.

00:25:06.417 --> 00:25:07.540
I'm like and now what?

00:25:07.540 --> 00:25:09.183
Like, he's not here, there's no more money.

00:25:09.690 --> 00:25:11.798
So I started selling off stuff.

00:25:11.798 --> 00:25:25.178
I started selling clothes and furniture and whatever else and started I'm like okay, the fat days are over, let's, there's no more lobster, anything let's have.

00:25:25.178 --> 00:25:29.912
I remember we ate a ton of sausages and beans, that's it.

00:25:29.912 --> 00:25:33.576
But you make it through it, it goes on.

00:25:33.576 --> 00:25:35.799
Yeah, it's tough for a while, but okay.

00:25:36.942 --> 00:25:44.701
Yeah, I know, I had lean days too and it was literally it was hamburger helper and potatoes, you know.

00:25:44.701 --> 00:25:46.664
So I get it, I totally get it.

00:25:46.664 --> 00:25:49.476
The hamburger helper at the time was like 69 cents for the box.

00:25:49.476 --> 00:25:51.361
I found a ground beef.

00:25:51.361 --> 00:25:56.054
A pound of ground beef was like three bucks and and a sack of potatoes was three bucks.

00:25:56.054 --> 00:25:57.796
So literally for the week.

00:25:57.796 --> 00:26:00.880
I was good for the week at that point, but so I get it.

00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:01.941
Yeah, I've been there as well.

00:26:01.941 --> 00:26:05.765
All right, so that's our first lesson here.

00:26:05.765 --> 00:26:06.885
So all right.

00:26:06.885 --> 00:26:10.057
So he went to California and you were still in New York.

00:26:10.057 --> 00:26:11.394
You started selling things off.

00:26:11.394 --> 00:26:13.458
Obviously, you were able to take some of that.

00:26:13.458 --> 00:26:15.637
And then what did you do from there?

00:26:21.130 --> 00:26:21.672
And then we sold the house.

00:26:21.672 --> 00:26:32.971
I sold the house and and then I which is funny because it was just when everything was going down on the stock market and everything and one of the people, one of the top executives of lehman brothers, ended up buying a house.

00:26:32.971 --> 00:26:37.376
And, as lehman brothers was like, are they going to be saved, are they not?

00:26:37.376 --> 00:26:38.137
Are they going to be saved?

00:26:38.137 --> 00:26:43.445
Contracts were out to him and every day it was like, okay, I'm going to buy the house.

00:26:43.445 --> 00:26:47.000
And then he was like, I don't think I can buy the house.

00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:48.068
And then he ended up buying the house.

00:26:48.068 --> 00:27:24.670
I'm like, oh my God, he ended up buying the house and we got out of there and whatever else, whatever we had left, we put into a little truck and my ex actually drove it back cross country and the kids and I got on Southwest at Long Beach airport and I remember standing at the airport with my two kids one kid on each hand, and they were like four maybe at the time and I looked at them and I started crying, but crying out of like gratitude.

00:27:24.670 --> 00:27:27.635
I looked at her and I thought this is all I need.

00:27:27.635 --> 00:27:30.602
This is all that is important.

00:27:30.602 --> 00:27:31.943
Nothing else matters.

00:27:31.943 --> 00:27:37.317
Everything else comes and goes and that's fine, but those two kids and they're healthy.

00:27:37.317 --> 00:27:42.483
I won, let's go nice.

00:27:42.703 --> 00:27:54.618
And I got on that plane and we flew back and you know, we crashed at friends houses for a little while until we could get an apartment and it was a tiny little apartment.

00:27:54.618 --> 00:27:57.798
And today somebody asked me the other day it was like, what's your favorite place you ever lived at?

00:27:57.798 --> 00:27:58.451
And I was like, oh my god, it was a tiny little apartment.

00:27:58.451 --> 00:28:00.056
And today somebody asked me the other day it was like what's your favorite place you ever lived at?

00:28:00.056 --> 00:28:02.242
And I was like, oh my God, it was this tiny little apartment right down the beach.

00:28:02.242 --> 00:28:17.538
Yeah, out of all the big houses, the beautiful views, it was that I felt so safe and it was just so, just the kids and I, and it was beautiful.

00:28:22.170 --> 00:28:22.731
It's my favorite place.

00:28:22.751 --> 00:28:44.657
Wow, so just you and the kids at this point, because you said that you're, he was there for a little while and then he was like I can't be with you, and and then he moved out and you know, so you were letting him couch serve no, we at the beginning did this together and then but then, yeah, this wasn't, it was too much negativity and I then tried to get a job.

00:28:45.199 --> 00:28:46.241
That's the second time in my life.

00:28:46.241 --> 00:28:46.911
I tried to get a job.

00:28:46.911 --> 00:28:59.740
I'm like I need to job fast, so like I need to make some money, and I got a job with deutsche bank in downtown la because of my language and my background, my mba and all of that, and I drove home after the interview and it was pretty clear that I got the job.

00:28:59.740 --> 00:29:07.135
And as I got home and then I saw my kids and I'm like no way, I'm not taking the job.

00:29:07.135 --> 00:29:09.938
I will never see my kids again, never.

00:29:09.938 --> 00:29:11.776
They're going to be in daycare.

00:29:11.776 --> 00:29:16.838
I'll drop them off at 6 am so I can drive to downtown LA and I come back and I just feed him and put him to bed.

00:29:16.838 --> 00:29:18.060
This is not it.

00:29:18.060 --> 00:29:19.964
I got it wrong.

00:29:19.964 --> 00:29:27.374
Something else is going to be, it's going to fall into place, something else will happen and that's when I started.

00:29:27.755 --> 00:29:40.221
Coincidentally, I started my next business without even knowing it, and it was jewelry I made for myself, because there was still a lot of lawsuits going on with all the damages and the money we owed on the property and everything.

00:29:40.221 --> 00:29:54.541
And it was so stressful and I made these necklaces for myself and I hand stamped them with words that were meaningful to me and it was a little bit of a lifeline to remind myself that it's okay, it will be fine.

00:29:54.541 --> 00:30:00.094
And I started making those and as I dropped my kids off in school I picked them up.

00:30:00.094 --> 00:30:01.917
People were like, what are you wearing there?

00:30:01.917 --> 00:30:04.753
And I said, oh, it's just something I made for myself.

00:30:04.753 --> 00:30:14.869
And so they asked me and I said it's about celebrating the blessings in our lives, like focusing on that, shifting our focus, and people really, really resonated with people.

00:30:14.910 --> 00:30:16.894
And I got one more person can you make me something?

00:30:16.894 --> 00:30:19.178
I said, sure, what resonates with you?

00:30:19.178 --> 00:30:23.790
And then somebody said to me you should make these like and sell them.

00:30:23.790 --> 00:30:29.362
And I said really, yeah, okay, and that's when Etsy just started.

00:30:29.362 --> 00:30:35.837
So I went on to Etsy like, oh, this is that doesn't cost me anything like 20 cents, just list something.

00:30:35.837 --> 00:30:36.538
Let's do that.

00:30:36.538 --> 00:30:48.811
And that was like 15, 16 years ago and I started doing that and I went from just me doing this while the kids were asleep or they were in school for a little bit.

00:30:48.811 --> 00:30:52.336
And today etsy is big.

00:30:52.336 --> 00:31:04.915
It's publicly traded as 3.8 million vendors and my little company is today is like number 40 in the world of all the vendors of 3.8 million vendors.

00:31:05.817 --> 00:31:08.582
So again, she goes from nothing.

00:31:08.582 --> 00:31:25.446
Someone says that she likes her jewelry that she makes privately for herself, and you turn it into a multimillion dollar business because you make a couture, customized jewelry shop or basically manufacturing.

00:31:26.790 --> 00:31:29.700
So I made it like every piece was handmade by me.

00:31:29.700 --> 00:31:31.517
People would share their stories with me.

00:31:31.517 --> 00:31:34.579
They either knew what they wanted or I would help them figure it out.

00:31:34.579 --> 00:31:38.151
And I said, ok yeah, and I would make that and.

00:31:38.151 --> 00:31:38.936
And then I was like, oh yeah, and I would make that.

00:31:38.936 --> 00:31:38.979
And.

00:31:38.881 --> 00:31:41.492
And then I was like, oh my God, I have a dream.

00:31:41.492 --> 00:31:49.480
I have a dream to create a workplace for women where women can be, follow their passions, do what they love to do and still be moms.

00:31:49.480 --> 00:31:56.799
Because for me, like that whole thing of having to choose between a job and my children, I was like that's horrible, we shouldn't have to do that.

00:31:56.799 --> 00:32:02.135
And so I created a workplace for women for that.

00:32:02.135 --> 00:32:05.943
And then my other thing was I said, and then I want to give back.

00:32:05.943 --> 00:32:15.773
I want to give back to homeless children and here in Long Beach, 30% of all kids that go to college here in Long Beach are homeless.

00:32:15.773 --> 00:32:39.390
So I started to tap into that and I started to give back to different organizations and college students that are homeless, because it was near and dear to my heart and this whole thing became this beautiful love child and I felt like I could and I ended up getting back together with my ex and for like a couple of years.

00:32:39.630 --> 00:32:52.777
But then when I really wanted to focus on this, and because he started to do better, and he was like you don't need to do this anymore, and I said no, but I really want to do this, this, I am very passionate about this, I want to continue this business.

00:32:52.777 --> 00:32:56.346
And he continuously was like why do you want to do this?

00:32:56.346 --> 00:32:56.910
For your ego?

00:32:56.910 --> 00:32:58.316
You want to have a street named after you.

00:32:58.316 --> 00:32:59.757
And I said no, you don't understand.

00:32:59.757 --> 00:33:01.516
Like this is important to me.

00:33:01.516 --> 00:33:08.601
There's a cause in this, like there's a bunch of causes in this and I'm very passionate about so many things about this.

00:33:08.601 --> 00:33:20.270
And when he really didn't get it and he constantly tried to undermine me, I said this is it, I'm done, I need to get out.

00:33:20.270 --> 00:33:34.819
And that time I left and I said I want to focus on that and I also wanted to show my kids that we got to follow our hearts, we got to do the things that are important to us and now to you, you can unpack that, yeah.

00:33:36.310 --> 00:33:37.856
No, I don't know how to unpack that.

00:33:37.856 --> 00:33:40.852
I think you gave it everything that you that we needed from.

00:33:40.852 --> 00:33:44.357
That is just again overcoming the obstacle.

00:33:44.357 --> 00:33:49.291
So, wow, so did you get out of that one that one room apartment.

00:33:49.291 --> 00:33:51.576
After that, it's just yeah.

00:33:51.676 --> 00:34:04.217
So then because it was we did, we did better and we got back together and to like, we moved back into the lifestyle that we were accustomed to and things went well, except the relationship didn't.

00:34:04.217 --> 00:34:16.967
And then when I decided to leave, because we were never married, so any of the businesses we shared, the real estate we shared and so on, I had no right to there's no in California.

00:34:16.967 --> 00:34:18.588
If you're not married, you have no right to that.

00:34:18.588 --> 00:34:24.119
And I walked away and I told them.

00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:26.664
I said I don't care about the money, you can keep it all.

00:34:27.951 --> 00:34:32.873
Yeah, but that was just from the real estate holdings, the real estate and business your business was.

00:34:32.873 --> 00:34:34.038
You still had your business.

00:34:34.409 --> 00:34:35.936
My business was my business.

00:34:35.936 --> 00:34:40.054
California is very expensive and my kids at that point were going to private school.

00:34:40.054 --> 00:34:45.338
Like there was a lot of costs associated with and my business which I wasn't really.

00:34:45.338 --> 00:34:53.762
I couldn't really until then focus a hundred percent on like at that point it was doing well, but it wasn't doing that well to support that entire lifestyle.

00:34:53.762 --> 00:35:05.059
So I walked out and out of the beautiful 4,000 square foot home overlooking the Pacific and a private beach to a one bedroom apartment.

00:35:05.059 --> 00:35:09.594
So I took my kids, the dog and I went back to the one bedroom apartment.

00:35:09.594 --> 00:35:15.094
I'm like, okay, we're starting again, All right, and now we're going to kick some ass.

00:35:15.094 --> 00:35:18.994
And that was like seven, eight years ago and I started again.

00:35:19.014 --> 00:35:23.818
Yeah, and so did you, ramped up what you already had.

00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:24.420
Yes.

00:35:24.420 --> 00:35:34.802
Well, you said yeah, you didn't get number 40, so yeah, so I really kicked some butt and I grew it like in every aspect.

00:35:34.802 --> 00:35:38.137
And, yeah, in the meantime I had some cancer.

00:35:38.137 --> 00:35:39.161
I dealt with that.

00:35:40.030 --> 00:35:42.097
Okay, hold on, that's huge.

00:35:42.097 --> 00:35:45.157
Don't gloss over this stuff.

00:35:45.157 --> 00:35:47.157
This is big right.

00:35:47.157 --> 00:35:50.599
All right, talk to me about the journey through the cancer.

00:35:52.110 --> 00:36:00.699
So one of the things I didn't share was when I was seven years old, my much younger brother, who was three at the time.

00:36:00.699 --> 00:36:10.038
He by accident, swung a construction shovel into my face and it broke my face.

00:36:10.038 --> 00:36:15.418
It broke my nose and my chin, and back then my parents were like stop crying.

00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:16.581
Fucked up.

00:36:17.753 --> 00:36:19.139
Get over yourself, you'll be fine.

00:36:19.139 --> 00:36:23.396
And I remember they used to say by the time you're married you'll be okay.

00:36:23.396 --> 00:36:25.998
I'm like okay.

00:36:25.998 --> 00:36:28.594
So they didn't really do anything about it.

00:36:28.594 --> 00:36:36.815
And then over the years my nose had been broken and it started to really droop and my chin was pushed in.

00:36:36.815 --> 00:36:52.606
And only when I really started to make some serious money, which was about maybe like 10 years ago, I went to a plastic surgeon because I had a little virus in my face and my dermatologist said go to a plastic surgeon.

00:36:52.606 --> 00:36:53.972
I'd never been to a plastic surgeon before.

00:36:53.972 --> 00:36:54.574
I was way down to earth.

00:36:54.574 --> 00:36:55.458
I'm like I go to no plastic surgeon.

00:36:55.458 --> 00:36:58.750
But was way that to like down to earth, like I got into no plastic surgeon.

00:36:58.750 --> 00:37:00.619
But then I went and then he looked at me.

00:37:00.619 --> 00:37:03.431
He's like oh, that in your face is fine, I'll give you some cream.

00:37:03.431 --> 00:37:05.335
But he said, what happened to your face?

00:37:05.335 --> 00:37:12.134
I said, oh, I got a shovel swung into my face and he's like and he's like we can probably fix that.

00:37:12.134 --> 00:37:14.956
And I'm like, oh, okay, ended up.

00:37:14.956 --> 00:37:15.898
He ended up fixing.

00:37:15.978 --> 00:37:21.626
It was the biggest, most challenging health issue I ever had.

00:37:21.626 --> 00:37:26.690
It took me a whole year to overcome that from like they fixed my nose, put it back together.

00:37:26.690 --> 00:37:37.400
They did entire open tracer and took everything out, took all the cartilage out, scraped off all the scar tissue and put it back together the way it originally was meant to be.

00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:44.422
But they couldn't save my chin so they actually ended up putting like a silicone chin in it to fix that.

00:37:44.422 --> 00:38:04.097
So I'm back to the way I originally would have looked, and then like a couple no, probably like I don't know, I get the time like four years later maybe I noticed a spot on my nose and it turned out it was skin cancer and I had dealt with skin cancer before, so I dragged my feet for a little bit.

00:38:04.097 --> 00:38:07.739
It got bigger and bigger and then my daughter was the one who's like mom, you really need to go.

00:38:07.739 --> 00:38:12.961
So I went to get it looked at and they were like, yeah, this is skin cancer, we need to remove this.

00:38:12.961 --> 00:38:32.001
And it turned out they did this mole procedure where they cut and then they freeze it, and then they cut and cut, cut and freeze, and cut and freeze until they have all the margins and they ended up removing this entire side of my nose and I was like, okay, this is way bigger.

00:38:32.001 --> 00:38:34.295
Holy crap, this whole side was missing.

00:38:34.295 --> 00:38:37.298
I'm like I'm going to go back to my friend the plastic surgeon.

00:38:37.298 --> 00:38:38.152
He's going to fix this.

00:38:38.152 --> 00:38:41.177
He fixed my face before he's going to fix this.

00:38:41.177 --> 00:38:43.563
So I went, they covered it.

00:38:44.110 --> 00:38:51.936
I went home, I ate lunch and then I got back in my car and I went to his office and I said I need to show you something, can you fix this?

00:38:51.936 --> 00:39:00.871
And he took it off and he was like, oh, my God, spade.

00:39:00.871 --> 00:39:01.614
I said yeah, they, they had to like.

00:39:01.614 --> 00:39:02.657
I told him and he's like okay, we need to fix this.

00:39:02.657 --> 00:39:04.204
So he ended up taking cartilage out of him in the office right there.

00:39:04.204 --> 00:39:05.510
We never even went to the hospital.

00:39:05.510 --> 00:39:07.135
He did local anesthesia.

00:39:07.135 --> 00:39:10.101
I have never been in so much pain in my life.

00:39:10.101 --> 00:39:20.802
They took the cartilage out of my ear, from the back of my ear, and he rebuilt the cartilage up the side of my nose and then he took skin out of my cheek and flipped it over.

00:39:20.802 --> 00:39:23.679
I still had to keep it attached so it wouldn't die off.

00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:29.402
It took, I think, four surgeries after this to complete this whole thing.

00:39:29.402 --> 00:39:36.478
It's an nightmare, but it looks fine.

00:39:36.849 --> 00:39:43.978
He did an amazing job If you you didn't tell us we wouldn't know no, it, it is a little uneven, but it's nothing.

00:39:44.139 --> 00:39:50.742
And all this, what they had to take out of my cheek and stuff, he's, he's a true artist, he's amazing and yeah.

00:39:50.742 --> 00:39:54.614
So that was a little debilitating for a little while.

00:39:54.614 --> 00:40:02.277
At that time I was was supposed to go onto the home shopping network and sell my stuff and I had to cancel.

00:40:02.277 --> 00:40:05.184
I was like I can't be looking like this, I cannot, yeah.

00:40:05.184 --> 00:40:16.054
So, and it scared me, it really scared me because I was like, oh my God, I got my face back only a few years ago and now this, why?

00:40:16.054 --> 00:40:21.831
And it was a downer, it really it took me with all the surgeries I needed.

00:40:21.831 --> 00:40:22.311
Afterwards.

00:40:22.311 --> 00:40:34.481
It took me a little while to really like get my energy back and, um, go full force again, but I did, and so yeah, that was that.

00:40:35.001 --> 00:40:41.835
So you got through that and at this time you're still doing the jewelry yeah, I was doing the jewelry and that was that.

00:40:41.896 --> 00:40:43.759
So you got through that and at this time you were still doing the jewelry.

00:40:43.759 --> 00:40:44.860
Yeah, I was doing the jewelry, and that was all good.

00:40:44.860 --> 00:40:48.764
And then I want to say, probably a year after that, I got surprised in the middle of the night, sleeping in my home.

00:40:48.764 --> 00:41:03.733
Somebody had broken into my house and attacked me in my sleep and that, emotionally, was the biggest challenge in my life, the biggest one.

00:41:03.733 --> 00:41:14.239
He strangled me and then dragged me out of bed on my throat and beat the crap out of me like badly, and then I thought I got my senses back and I was on the third floor of my house.

00:41:14.239 --> 00:41:26.998
I went downstairs and I thought he was gone, but he was sitting there waiting for me and then he continued to beat me up and then tried to rape me and because it turns out he was intoxicated, I ended up getting away.

00:41:28.141 --> 00:41:34.041
But I lived in a new construction and I was 52 units and it was only two units occupied.

00:41:34.041 --> 00:41:37.994
So while I was screaming my head off, nobody could hear me because there was nobody there.

00:41:37.994 --> 00:41:45.005
And then the other couple that had moved in also saw the other unit that was occupied.

00:41:45.005 --> 00:41:49.077
They did end up hearing me and they came to my rescue.

00:41:49.077 --> 00:41:53.670
As I ran out, they came to my rescue and that was tough.

00:41:53.670 --> 00:41:54.893
That was really tough.

00:41:54.893 --> 00:41:56.476
I had terribletsd.

00:41:56.476 --> 00:42:01.771
I started drinking and it sent me into darkness.

00:42:01.771 --> 00:42:06.239
That was very scary.

00:42:06.780 --> 00:42:07.641
Did they catch the guy?

00:42:08.443 --> 00:42:09.184
yeah, I knew him.

00:42:09.184 --> 00:42:09.925
Actually I knew him.

00:42:09.925 --> 00:42:24.195
And then what came afterwards was actually even harder because the legal system is not on our side and I had to prove that he did what he did.

00:42:24.195 --> 00:42:28.023
And the thing is, once I went to the police, I finally went to.

00:42:28.023 --> 00:42:32.969
It took me a couple of days to go because my head was so I couldn't even think straight.

00:42:32.969 --> 00:42:40.418
And I remember the next morning I woke up curled up in a corner like in fetus position and I was like oh my God.

00:42:40.418 --> 00:42:50.856
And I remember calling my plastic surgeon friend because I was worried, like I couldn't feel anything and I'm like what's wrong with me, like how bad is this?

00:42:50.856 --> 00:42:53.338
And somehow I ended up driving myself.

00:42:53.338 --> 00:42:56.480
I don't remember any of it, but I ended up driving myself to his office.

00:42:56.480 --> 00:42:58.853
It was on a Saturday morning, like 7 am.

00:42:58.853 --> 00:42:59.375
I texted him.

00:42:59.375 --> 00:43:01.137
I said I need help, you need to look at me.

00:43:01.137 --> 00:43:02.139
He said okay.

00:43:02.139 --> 00:43:02.641
He didn't know.

00:43:02.641 --> 00:43:04.583
He said okay, come on in, I always look at you.

00:43:04.583 --> 00:43:07.577
And he was like oh my God.

00:43:07.577 --> 00:43:14.434
But it turns out he looked at me.

00:43:14.434 --> 00:43:21.699
He said I don't, I didn't, not for two days until I was.

00:43:21.820 --> 00:43:29.525
I remember driving my daughter like the next day to a tennis match and she was sitting next to me in the car and she said, mom, what are you going to do about this?

00:43:29.525 --> 00:43:31.146
And I said I don't know.

00:43:31.146 --> 00:43:36.704
I don't know.

00:43:36.704 --> 00:43:43.360
And it still makes me emotional thinking about this, because she then said to me she said, mom, what would you do if this had happened to me?

00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:44.324
I said I would kill the guy.

00:43:44.324 --> 00:43:47.110
And she said no, seriously, what would you do?

00:43:47.110 --> 00:43:50.159
And I said, okay, seriously, I would go to the police.

00:43:50.159 --> 00:43:52.472
I would make sure he pays for what he did to you.

00:43:52.472 --> 00:43:59.985
And she said why don't you love yourself enough to do the same for yourself?

00:43:59.985 --> 00:44:05.880
And then I dropped her off and I ended up going to the police.

00:44:06.030 --> 00:44:22.396
But what came then was at least as tough as everything else, because once they heard who he was, what his family members, who they were, all the evidence disappeared.

00:44:22.396 --> 00:44:25.902
They had taken pictures, everything disappeared, there was no case.

00:44:25.902 --> 00:44:29.759
And I started a horrible struggle trying to get help.

00:44:29.759 --> 00:44:41.052
Nobody wanted to touch this and at the end I found a female attorney who was like we're going to take care of this and we did.

00:44:41.052 --> 00:45:03.012
It never really got what it deserved, but that was okay, because for me it wasn't about revenge, it was about showing my daughter that you need to stand up for yourself, that this is not okay, self, that this is not okay.

00:45:03.012 --> 00:45:03.894
And so, yeah, it was fine.

00:45:03.914 --> 00:45:05.860
It was fine and but it took me a long time to recover from this, emotionally and spiritually.

00:45:05.860 --> 00:45:07.347
I was afraid to go to sleep at night.

00:45:07.347 --> 00:45:12.356
I started drinking and and I didn't know how to get out of this.

00:45:12.356 --> 00:45:16.731
Yeah, and my family wasn't really all that supportive.

00:45:16.731 --> 00:45:19.672
My parents were like I'm sure you deserve this somehow.

00:45:19.672 --> 00:45:21.934
Like I was asleep in my house.

00:45:21.934 --> 00:45:23.695
They're like you should just forget about it.

00:45:23.695 --> 00:45:24.916
And I'm like, forget about it.

00:45:24.916 --> 00:45:27.599
I'm black and blue, my foot is broken.

00:45:27.599 --> 00:45:31.161
Like I can't forget about this.

00:45:31.161 --> 00:45:39.648
No, I was from a place of love, because they were afraid that he was going to come after me and do more damage.

00:45:39.648 --> 00:45:43.902
And but no, so I.

00:45:45.451 --> 00:45:53.960
The way I got out of this and the lesson out of this was I turned it around and it became one of the most beautiful gifts ever.

00:45:53.960 --> 00:45:58.976
I discovered a new lifestyle because of it.

00:45:58.976 --> 00:46:11.632
So where I lived in the front, there was an F45 that opened up, and as they opened it up, they distributed flyers and then one of the guys was walking around.

00:46:11.632 --> 00:46:14.418
He said hey, have you tried this HIIT training?

00:46:14.418 --> 00:46:17.835
And I said no, he said you should come in try it out for free.

00:46:17.835 --> 00:46:39.264
So I ended up going and I realized after the session a that I was about to die because this was so tough but and I was in really bad shape at that point that I, even though this was only a few feet between f45 and my house, I crawled back into my house and I laid down in the entrance and I'm like, oh my God.

00:46:39.264 --> 00:46:41.134
And I had 911 speed dial.

00:46:41.134 --> 00:46:42.677
I was like I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

00:46:42.677 --> 00:46:44.672
Oh my God, this is going to kill me.

00:46:44.711 --> 00:46:46.777
But then what came after that was beautiful.

00:46:46.777 --> 00:46:53.300
I felt better and I realized, oh my God, when I work out, I can actually function.

00:46:53.300 --> 00:46:56.056
And so I started to.

00:46:56.056 --> 00:46:58.487
I got a membership and I started to train every day.

00:46:58.487 --> 00:47:01.079
I went there, sometimes twice, sometimes three times a day.

00:47:01.079 --> 00:47:03.670
I'm like, oh my god, I need to get my head cleared again, I'm gonna go back.

00:47:03.670 --> 00:47:13.193
And then they had a competition, a global competition, and I ended up winning for female highest percentage body fat loss.

00:47:13.193 --> 00:47:22.112
No wonder, because I probably run more than anybody and I lost all this weight to a point where I was like barely 100 pounds.

00:47:22.112 --> 00:47:24.559
I'm 5'5 and I was barely 100 pounds.

00:47:24.679 --> 00:47:28.978
And then covid hit and they shut down and I was like, what am I gonna do?

00:47:28.978 --> 00:47:35.536
And oh, because of the competition, in order to win this, like my competitiveness started to like come out.

00:47:35.536 --> 00:47:37.440
I had to change everything.

00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:42.514
I stopped drinking, I started to eat healthy, I worked out.

00:47:42.514 --> 00:47:43.536
It changed everything.

00:47:44.498 --> 00:47:48.135
And then COVID hit, they closed and I called up a friend of mine.

00:47:48.135 --> 00:47:51.206
I said, oh my God, I need to train somewhere.

00:47:51.206 --> 00:47:52.431
I need to continue this.

00:47:52.431 --> 00:47:53.371
This is my lifeline.

00:47:53.371 --> 00:47:56.237
And he said okay, let me see what I can find for you.

00:47:56.237 --> 00:48:04.798
And he found a friend of his who owned a gym in LA and he said call him and see if he can help you.

00:48:04.798 --> 00:48:08.731
So the guy said come in, I'll look at you.

00:48:08.731 --> 00:48:10.900
And so I went in there.

00:48:10.900 --> 00:48:13.969
He said take off your clothes, I want to see what I'm dealing with.

00:48:13.969 --> 00:48:14.811
And I'm like okay.

00:48:14.811 --> 00:48:17.934
So I took off my clothes and I stood there and he was like I'm dealing with, and I'm like okay.

00:48:17.934 --> 00:48:20.335
So I took over my clothes and I stood there and he was like yeah, we can do something with this.

00:48:20.335 --> 00:48:27.001
And then he said but I'm not going to babysit you Either you want this or we're done.

00:48:27.001 --> 00:48:31.806
I said okay and it was like the movies, it was like Rocky.

00:48:31.806 --> 00:48:38.853
We went in there every day.

00:48:38.853 --> 00:48:50.856
The gym was closed, we couldn't have any lights on, we had all the blinds closed, there was no AC and he worked out with me every day in the dark for like two to three hours every day and I fell in love with bodybuilding, with the lifestyle, with lifting weights.

00:48:50.856 --> 00:48:58.373
Oh my God, it was the best and I never felt better before in my life.

00:48:58.373 --> 00:48:59.596
I never looked better.

00:49:01.141 --> 00:49:10.914
I got into this community where people were so supportive and it turns out everybody was in there, had a story, everybody had a reason why they were there and we all had the same goal.

00:49:10.914 --> 00:49:14.871
We're going to feel amazing and we did Like.

00:49:14.871 --> 00:49:16.396
I went religiously.

00:49:16.396 --> 00:49:18.014
I got up at 4.30 every morning.

00:49:18.014 --> 00:49:19.260
Sometimes I went twice a day.

00:49:19.260 --> 00:49:22.778
I did like fasted cardio in the morning and then go lift in the afternoon.

00:49:22.778 --> 00:49:24.161
I was super strong.

00:49:24.161 --> 00:49:26.577
I leg pressed almost 700 pounds.

00:49:26.577 --> 00:49:33.731
I was one of the strongest women in there and it was amazing and people kept telling me you should compete.

00:49:34.413 --> 00:49:42.958
I ended up going to gold's gym in venice and some of the big people um, big trainers, big names were like you need to compete.

00:49:42.958 --> 00:49:45.050
And I always said, no, I don't want to compete.

00:49:45.050 --> 00:49:46.072
They were like why not?

00:49:46.072 --> 00:49:48.760
And then I thought I did and I.

00:49:48.760 --> 00:49:52.197
And then we got closer and I'm like and then they try to tweak you.

00:49:52.197 --> 00:49:56.181
They're like oh, your traps are too strong, your shoulders aren't wide enough, we need to work on this.

00:49:56.181 --> 00:49:56.851
We need to work on that.

00:49:56.851 --> 00:49:58.554
I'm like ah, no.

00:50:00.119 --> 00:50:01.061
And then I realized it.

00:50:01.081 --> 00:50:12.684
I was like oh my God, this is the only place in my life where I truly do something just for myself, where I don't have to prove anything to anybody.

00:50:19.429 --> 00:50:20.132
I'm not a boss, I don't like.

00:50:20.132 --> 00:50:21.940
I'm not a mom, I'm just doing this for myself and I don't want to pick.

00:50:21.940 --> 00:50:25.251
I don't want people to pick at me and say, oh, we need to change this and we need to change that and this is not perfect.

00:50:25.251 --> 00:50:28.474
No, and I swear to myself, I will never compete.

00:50:28.474 --> 00:50:32.119
And people would always say when are you competing?

00:50:32.119 --> 00:50:33.121
And I'm like I'm not.

00:50:33.121 --> 00:50:39.634
And they're like you're doing this just because I love it and because nobody's judging me.

00:50:39.634 --> 00:51:14.885
And I realized that at some point, I realized that I had this vision of seeing this guy standing on the other side of the river and I realized I made it through this and there was this raging river and in the middle and I realized I can forgive you because you have given me one of my greatest gifts change my life into something even more amazing wow, that now see, that's a story that is, oh, that, you, you're.

00:51:14.945 --> 00:51:18.773
You've gone into my side of my thing about fitness because I've had a lot of.

00:51:18.773 --> 00:51:21.780
I have my model.

00:51:21.780 --> 00:51:25.215
The model that I have is for my business is it's by the race.

00:51:25.215 --> 00:51:30.028
I teach, I, I, I coach endurance athletes, so it's the race.

00:51:30.028 --> 00:51:30.630
You know what I mean.

00:51:30.630 --> 00:51:36.271
Sometimes they go to the race and then they come off the roster and they'll come back later when they decide they want to pick another race again.

00:51:36.271 --> 00:51:53.414
But I do know of a lot of other coaches that have literally have clients behind clients and they're just there, like you said, for themselves, I, I for me, when that's part of what life change, life changing challengers is that challenge and that's part of what life-changing challenges is that challenge?

00:51:53.414 --> 00:52:01.661
You had this, you found the challenge through the process, and a lot of people that I found changed their lives.

00:52:01.661 --> 00:52:14.264
They changed their lives through the goal and the process taught them how to change and both ways work, obviously, obviously, but yeah, but that's incredible.

00:52:14.423 --> 00:52:33.543
You never did compete, ever no uh, good for you, because like a lot, that's a lot of people they'd be like they're at that level and people are telling them they've got a gold's gym on venice beach, that is like that's the mecca of bodybuilders, and you've got those people telling you you should compete.

00:52:34.730 --> 00:52:38.617
Some of the biggest people, like Charles Ross, the god of bodybuilding.

00:52:38.617 --> 00:52:41.063
He would always jump in and say okay, now, when?

00:52:41.063 --> 00:52:45.521
And I'm like no, I don't care to do that.

00:52:45.521 --> 00:52:48.237
And a lot of women would be like what do you mean?

00:52:48.237 --> 00:52:49.081
You don't want to compete?

00:52:49.081 --> 00:52:54.579
Like, imagine standing on that stage and everybody's looking at you, you get your 20 seconds of fame.

00:52:54.579 --> 00:52:59.353
And I said I don't care about that, it's not about that and my ego is not in this.

00:52:59.353 --> 00:53:10.280
No, and it was such a relief when I realized what it was really all about to me and it made me even happier.

00:53:10.501 --> 00:53:15.335
Yeah, yeah, so did you ever seek professional counseling or anything for the incident?

00:53:15.996 --> 00:53:19.036
Yeah, yeah, I did, but it really it didn't.

00:53:19.036 --> 00:53:31.936
I ended up going back to like spiritual mentors and because I've tried, there was other things in my life that happened when I was a kid and I had to deal with that and work through those issues.

00:53:31.936 --> 00:53:39.376
And I did a lot of therapy and I always felt like this is not working for me, this is not.

00:53:39.376 --> 00:53:54.704
And then I discovered spirituality and really more specifically, the science of mind, to really understand how minds work, and to me that was fascinating and it really helped me to understand myself better and really manage myself.

00:53:54.704 --> 00:54:00.682
And yeah, and so continue this journey to get us to where I'm today.

00:54:00.682 --> 00:54:02.456
A lot has changed.

00:54:02.456 --> 00:54:09.317
Again, just before COVID, I realized I don't want to do the business anymore and I wanted to sell it.

00:54:09.317 --> 00:54:26.735
And because I realized I had checked all my boxes, everything I wanted to achieve in life, financially and all of it I had checked and I realized nothing had changed.

00:54:26.735 --> 00:54:28.697
It didn't matter.

00:54:28.697 --> 00:54:31.141
And it really got me depressed.

00:54:31.141 --> 00:54:32.304
I was like you know what?

00:54:32.304 --> 00:54:40.103
Set the bar higher, make more money, drive even nicer cars, live in a bigger house no, I don't care.

00:54:40.103 --> 00:54:45.318
And I got so depressed that I was like so what is there?

00:54:45.318 --> 00:54:47.304
What is this all about?

00:54:47.304 --> 00:55:17.335
And so I wanted to get rid of it all, but then I couldn't because of COVID, and I hung in there and I actually COVID in itself challenged me and I enjoyed that because all of a sudden the business changed and I saw new opportunities and I came back to life for like two years and I built the business, I restructured it and rebuilt it and then a year and a half ago I was like okay, now I can sell it.

00:55:17.335 --> 00:55:22.132
And I ended up putting it on the market and I sold it.

00:55:22.132 --> 00:55:30.385
And last year in June I handed it over and I am still very active in it.

00:55:30.385 --> 00:55:32.295
I'm a consultant to them.

00:55:32.295 --> 00:55:34.737
I do everything that I really enjoy doing.

00:55:34.737 --> 00:55:37.318
Today I don't have to do the day-to-day stuff anymore.

00:55:37.318 --> 00:55:40.597
But then my kids left.

00:55:40.597 --> 00:55:46.677
They graduated high school, both of them went to Switzerland and I was like and now, what am I going to do?

00:55:46.677 --> 00:55:59.177
And again my daughter, who is wise beyond her years, she said to me one night she said, mom, you have worked so hard all your life and now the world's your oyster.

00:55:59.177 --> 00:56:00.594
Do whatever you want to do.

00:56:00.594 --> 00:56:03.896
And I said, okay.

00:56:03.896 --> 00:56:06.956
So the business was sold.

00:56:07.771 --> 00:56:08.795
I went back to Europe.

00:56:08.795 --> 00:56:11.918
I had more skin cancer.

00:56:11.918 --> 00:56:12.831
That was really bad.

00:56:12.831 --> 00:56:18.715
But then I went back to Europe after that was done the end of last year, and I said I'm going to find a place I want to live.

00:56:18.715 --> 00:56:27.240
And I looked all over, I looked in Italy and I was like I don't know, this is a rough start, I don't know enough about it.

00:56:27.240 --> 00:56:29.802
This is a rough start, like I don't know enough about it.

00:56:30.543 --> 00:56:40.974
And at the end I went back to my mountains, I went back to the German Alps and I said why don't I start there?

00:56:40.974 --> 00:56:42.936
So I looked for a place to rent and people were laughing at me.

00:56:42.936 --> 00:56:47.621
They were like nobody finds anything here, let alone a foreigner.

00:56:47.621 --> 00:56:49.384
I said I'm not a foreigner, I'm German.

00:56:49.384 --> 00:56:50.405
What are you talking about?

00:56:50.405 --> 00:56:55.021
They were like, no, somebody dies, somebody needs to die.

00:56:55.021 --> 00:56:59.514
And then there's 10 other people in line to find something to rent and I said, okay, see me do it.

00:56:59.514 --> 00:57:01.380
And a week later I had a place.

00:57:01.380 --> 00:57:02.862
I had permission to call this.

00:57:02.862 --> 00:57:05.139
I had a place and I went.

00:57:05.139 --> 00:57:07.730
I flew back to la and I said now I'm gonna put in my house on the market.

00:57:07.730 --> 00:57:09.255
I sold everything.

00:57:09.255 --> 00:57:18.179
I sold my house, I sold my cars, I sold all my furniture, gave stuff away and december 31st I had two suitcases left.

00:57:19.041 --> 00:57:44.925
I got on the lustanza flight to munich and I left yeah, crazy, so I started over again, not not financially, but emotionally, and I faced my biggest demon, the one that I could not manage throughout all of this, it was loneliness.

00:57:44.925 --> 00:57:52.291
All my life I was so afraid to be alone All my life, all my life, I was so afraid to be alone All my life.

00:57:52.291 --> 00:57:55.155
It's what drove me to drink more than I should have.

00:57:55.155 --> 00:58:03.144
It's, I think, what fueled my dedication to work, spend every waking hour working.

00:58:03.144 --> 00:58:11.469
And I went to Germany and I remember landing on January 1st and I rented a car and I drove to the mountains.

00:58:11.469 --> 00:58:13.652
I couldn't move right away into my place.

00:58:13.652 --> 00:58:18.463
I had to spend 10 days somewhere else and I spent 10 days in a vacation home.

00:58:18.523 --> 00:58:19.431
I got really sick.

00:58:19.431 --> 00:58:22.960
First time in like 10 years Never even had as much as a cold.

00:58:22.960 --> 00:58:27.615
I got really sick and I laid in bed there and I cried my heart out.

00:58:27.615 --> 00:58:29.380
I was like what did I do?

00:58:29.380 --> 00:58:31.123
What did I do?

00:58:31.123 --> 00:58:36.393
I'm so alone and I think it happened for a reason that I got sick.

00:58:36.393 --> 00:58:44.510
My body was like you think you can just continue that life and like you change locations, but you continue that life over here, because I was like I'm gonna find a gym, gonna keep training.

00:58:44.510 --> 00:58:48.496
Would I find something else to do and everything came to a screech.

00:58:48.496 --> 00:58:53.465
For an entire week I was laying in bed, fever and just so painful.

00:58:53.465 --> 00:59:00.023
And then I came back to life and I still try to get my old life back over there.

00:59:00.023 --> 00:59:05.318
And then I realized, actually, my boyfriend, who lives here in the US.

00:59:05.318 --> 00:59:07.764
He said you can, what did he say?

00:59:07.764 --> 00:59:16.385
You can change, you can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl.

00:59:16.385 --> 00:59:22.914
You have a lot of work to do and I did, and it was three months of.

00:59:22.914 --> 00:59:27.481
It was a struggle to face that to.

00:59:27.481 --> 00:59:29.144
Really, I'm like I can't believe I did this.

00:59:29.144 --> 00:59:43.612
I can't believe I put myself into a situation where I'm deep into the mountains, I don't see people for days and I put myself into solitary confinement to deal with this, the biggest challenge.

00:59:43.612 --> 01:00:03.420
And I did, I did, I learned to embrace my solitude and I filled that void of like that painful, and I started drinking again where I was like just a whiskey, make myself feel better.

01:00:05.001 --> 01:00:07.681
And then I realized, oh my god, the band-aids got to stop.

01:00:07.681 --> 01:00:09.682
It's a band-aid to stop.

01:00:09.682 --> 01:00:10.063
It's a band-aid.

01:00:10.063 --> 01:00:15.204
We have band-aids, whether it's shopping, which I'm not a shopper and I wouldn't be able to do that.

01:00:15.204 --> 01:00:17.226
There's no shopping, there's nothing.

01:00:17.226 --> 01:00:18.025
There's no hairdressers.

01:00:18.025 --> 01:00:19.226
There's no shopping, there's nothing.

01:00:19.226 --> 01:00:23.047
And there's what people do drugs.

01:00:23.047 --> 01:00:30.070
I've never done drugs People do.

01:00:30.070 --> 01:00:30.871
They drink or they eat excessively.

01:00:30.871 --> 01:00:31.132
None of that.

01:00:31.132 --> 01:00:32.333
And for me it was always I'm going to drink whiskey.

01:00:32.333 --> 01:00:33.414
It's going to numb the pain.

01:00:33.414 --> 01:00:36.759
And then I realized that one evening and I took the bottle and I poured it all down the drain.

01:00:36.759 --> 01:00:38.440
I'm like, no, this has got to stop.

01:00:38.440 --> 01:00:39.461
You've got to face this.

01:00:39.461 --> 01:00:41.123
There's no running away from this anymore.

01:00:41.123 --> 01:00:42.346
There's no numbing the pain.

01:00:42.346 --> 01:00:46.039
Face it.

01:00:46.039 --> 01:00:47.990
And I did, yeah, I did.

01:00:48.010 --> 01:00:57.494
And then I knew, once I was over this like, and now you can come back to LA and visit your friends and visit my son, my son's back here now.

01:00:57.494 --> 01:01:01.516
And yeah, and I feel like a different woman.

01:01:01.516 --> 01:01:04.139
And I came back here with very mixed feelings.

01:01:04.139 --> 01:01:06.019
I'm like I don't know if I want this anymore.

01:01:06.019 --> 01:01:09.601
I don't know if I and I stopped working out.

01:01:09.601 --> 01:01:11.722
I work out, but I don't train anymore.

01:01:11.722 --> 01:01:13.603
I don't know if I and I stopped working out.

01:01:13.603 --> 01:01:14.623
I work out, but I don't train anymore.

01:01:14.684 --> 01:01:15.503
I canceled I had a membership at a gym.

01:01:15.503 --> 01:01:16.184
I'm like I'm going to cancel this.

01:01:16.184 --> 01:01:23.668
I'm going to find other ways to entertain myself and I ended up renting an E-mountain bike and I'm like, oh, I like that.

01:01:23.668 --> 01:01:32.208
And I ended up buying one and I'm zipping through the mountains now and I have a gym I go to, but only a couple times a week just to just have fun.

01:01:32.208 --> 01:01:33.291
I don't have a plan.

01:01:34.494 --> 01:01:36.617
And that was hard too, because I looked at my body.

01:01:36.617 --> 01:01:38.722
I'm like what the heck happened?

01:01:38.722 --> 01:01:44.855
You went from like super strong and tight to menopause.

01:01:44.855 --> 01:01:48.298
Wow, holy crap.

01:01:48.298 --> 01:01:56.766
So it's been really interesting, really amazing, so amazing.

01:01:56.766 --> 01:02:08.097
And I discovered all the things that along the years I wanted to do and I never did because I was too busy working and focusing on all these other things.

01:02:08.097 --> 01:02:11.072
And I wrote my first book and I published it within.

01:02:11.072 --> 01:02:14.510
I wrote it within, wrote my first book and I published it within a month and I published it.

01:02:14.510 --> 01:02:21.704
And, as you said, I have a podcast that I love, love doing and I coach other people.

01:02:21.704 --> 01:02:29.230
I help other people to change their lives to the way they really want to live their lives.

01:02:29.230 --> 01:02:31.193
They really want to live their life.

01:02:31.213 --> 01:02:41.666
That's powerful, yeah, so her podcast is called the power life podcast, and she drops episodes every Monday.

01:02:41.666 --> 01:02:45.320
So now all of you know what to do.

01:02:45.320 --> 01:02:51.487
You first listen to life changing challengers and then you move over to the power life podcast.

01:02:51.487 --> 01:02:53.172
Okay, listen to Life Changing Challengers and then you move over to the Power Life podcast.

01:02:53.172 --> 01:02:57.961
Okay, and that's how we're going to do this, because Life Changing Challengers drops on Mondays too.

01:02:57.983 --> 01:02:59.467
All right, there you go.

01:02:59.467 --> 01:03:02.074
Your Mondays are safe people.

01:03:02.416 --> 01:03:03.219
You're good.

01:03:03.219 --> 01:03:04.692
You're good On the way in.

01:03:04.692 --> 01:03:06.659
You listen to Life Changing Challenges to work.

01:03:06.659 --> 01:03:09.639
On the way back out, you listen to the Power Life podcast.

01:03:09.639 --> 01:03:11.376
We've got you covered, people.

01:03:13.130 --> 01:03:13.471
Yes, back out.

01:03:13.471 --> 01:03:14.875
You listen to the power life podcast.

01:03:14.875 --> 01:03:15.677
We've got you covered, people.

01:03:15.677 --> 01:03:16.438
Yes, exactly bite size nuggets.

01:03:16.438 --> 01:03:47.262
I usually try to keep it between 10 and 15 minutes, but I'm very raw and I talk about all of this on how and also the stuff that's going on like right now and what I feel and how I work through these things, and it's very it, it's real, it's raw, it's authentic and, yeah, yeah, so that's a perfect, because what we want to do here is we want to highlight people that have done this and given some nuggets on okay, these are some ideas on how you could change it.

01:03:47.409 --> 01:03:51.061
Then you go over to the Power Life podcast and get into the details on how to do it.

01:03:51.061 --> 01:03:54.735
This is a partnership made in heaven.

01:03:54.735 --> 01:03:55.556
It is.

01:03:55.556 --> 01:03:58.943
It's been manifested when I saw your podcast.

01:03:58.963 --> 01:04:00.192
I'm like, oh my god, this is it.

01:04:00.192 --> 01:04:05.324
Yes, yes, yes, we need to talk yeah, no, and I just like it.

01:04:05.523 --> 01:04:17.804
and also we're I think we're about in the same peer group too, and my most of my clients and this podcast is dedicated to that midlife 40s, 50s type of deal.

01:04:17.804 --> 01:04:33.166
Not that all of you in your 20s and 30s can't get something out of it, because there's a lot of life lessons learned in this podcast and in the Power Life podcast that you could learn before you get to a point where you're deciding that, oh, something's got to change.

01:04:33.166 --> 01:04:40.844
Now you'll have all these great lessons ready to go so that, if and when that happens, you're ready to rock.

01:04:40.844 --> 01:04:43.077
So that's amazing.

01:04:43.077 --> 01:04:52.097
And also, sabine's book is the Love Odyssey, right, and the quote there is are you ready to love again?

01:04:52.097 --> 01:04:54.518
So why don't you tell us just a little bit about that one?

01:04:55.769 --> 01:05:08.398
So when I found I was working with a producer for my podcast and I remember going to him and he was referred to me and said talk to him, he can help you with the production.

01:05:08.398 --> 01:05:10.755
And I had a call with him.

01:05:10.755 --> 01:05:11.719
He said so what do you do?

01:05:11.719 --> 01:05:15.902
And I said I'm a life coach and life and business coach.

01:05:15.902 --> 01:05:19.179
And I looked at him and he goes oh, another one.

01:05:19.179 --> 01:05:23.240
I was like, okay, all right.

01:05:23.240 --> 01:05:27.181
And then he said okay, why don't you put something together?

01:05:27.181 --> 01:05:29.077
We'll do a test recording and see how it goes.

01:05:29.077 --> 01:05:29.619
And I said, sure.

01:05:29.619 --> 01:05:31.614
So we met online.

01:05:31.614 --> 01:05:42.094
He hit the record button and I started talking and then I was done and he was sitting there like this, he's like.

01:05:42.094 --> 01:05:46.563
And I was like done and still didn't move.

01:05:46.563 --> 01:05:48.731
I said, okay, I'm done.

01:05:48.731 --> 01:05:49.572
And he stopped it.

01:05:49.572 --> 01:05:51.454
And then he's an older guy and he stopped it.

01:05:51.454 --> 01:05:58.320
And then he's an older guy and he looked at me and he said I don't give compliments.

01:05:58.320 --> 01:06:01.623
I said, okay, I was scared at that point.

01:06:01.623 --> 01:06:03.465
I'm like, oh, this must have been really bad.

01:06:03.465 --> 01:06:05.347
Oh, my God, there goes that dream.

01:06:05.347 --> 01:06:13.012
And he's like this was freaking amazing.

01:06:13.012 --> 01:06:15.496
And I said, oh, okay, he's like, I'm taking you.

01:06:15.496 --> 01:06:17.137
I'm like okay.

01:06:17.137 --> 01:06:22.362
So I did a few and then every time he produced these and then I think it was like three or four episodes in.

01:06:22.702 --> 01:06:24.543
He said to me he said you need to write a book.

01:06:24.543 --> 01:06:30.434
I said I know I always wanted to write a book, but I don't know, like I don't know how to do this.

01:06:30.434 --> 01:06:32.119
He said just start, just write a book.

01:06:32.119 --> 01:06:34.193
And I said, okay.

01:06:34.193 --> 01:06:37.900
So the first thing that came to mind, I thought this is easy.

01:06:37.900 --> 01:06:41.815
How about I write about the notes that I took throughout?

01:06:41.815 --> 01:06:54.125
After my ex and I split up, which I called my dating project, like I made that into a like a research project because I was so terrified to get back out there.

01:06:54.125 --> 01:06:56.539
I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this, this is a nightmare.

01:06:56.539 --> 01:07:04.023
And so I took notes and I was like I could actually finally write this and that was easy.

01:07:04.023 --> 01:07:09.996
And the moment I started writing it just all came out and it's a little book.

01:07:09.996 --> 01:07:12.876
It's like 69 pages.

01:07:12.876 --> 01:07:20.943
It's a really little book but it's written from my heart and soul of midlifers and the dating and it's fun.

01:07:20.943 --> 01:07:27.798
But it has a lot of insightful little nuggets in it and it's interesting the feedback.

01:07:27.798 --> 01:07:39.364
It became a bestseller in, like I think, three or four categories on Amazon and I'm like, wow, and it's one of my new discoveries of how much I love writing.

01:07:39.364 --> 01:07:41.353
I love to write.

01:07:41.434 --> 01:07:57.610
I'm working on my second book right now, even though it's a little bit on the shelves because I had to get through these last three and a half months and it gave me a lot of new insights and I need to get back to that, but it's happening, it's gonna come eventually and, yeah, it's for me and that's.

01:07:57.610 --> 01:07:59.338
I feel like I have come full circle.

01:07:59.338 --> 01:08:09.519
I have discovered something new, something that I really love, love, love to do, which is the writing and the podcasting, which is also writing, and even social media.

01:08:09.519 --> 01:08:13.139
I'm on LinkedIn and I used to hate social media and write.

01:08:13.139 --> 01:08:17.896
I never even did it for my previous business, but with this it's different.

01:08:17.896 --> 01:08:32.979
It's like I can, it just pours out of me and I can write like raw and authentic, the way I am, and it seems to resonate with people and that's and it seems to resonate with people and that's A it's filling.

01:08:32.998 --> 01:08:37.342
I learned to fill that void of what, like the pain from being lonely.

01:08:37.342 --> 01:09:15.194
I realized that the antidote to loneliness is purpose and I, over the last three months really four months now I have discovered my purpose for this part of my life and every time I deal with something where, like, my daughter came to visit me for a weekend and then she left and I was like, oh no, I was crying because I'm like I'm gonna miss her so much, and I'm back to my solitude and I walking up the stairs to my apartment and in the mountains, and by the time I got upstairs I'm like I'm good, all right, let's sit down.

01:09:15.194 --> 01:09:25.981
And there I am and I'm filled with joy and bliss and I'm like this is it, this is it, and that void, I know how.

01:09:25.981 --> 01:09:30.154
Again, like at the beginning we said, I can redirect my focus.

01:09:30.154 --> 01:09:45.832
I have learned to do that with other things now so, with the loneliness which was so dreadful for me, to redirect it to something I am so passionate about and that fills me with so much joy and bliss.

01:09:45.832 --> 01:09:48.817
And that's really.

01:09:49.877 --> 01:10:03.059
I think that's one of the secrets to life to deal with the darkness to really, because we all have darkness and we all deal with things, but the darkness in itself is not dangerous.

01:10:03.059 --> 01:10:04.555
I feel like the darkness is actually.

01:10:04.555 --> 01:10:10.681
It's like it's information, it's like a red guide pole that comes up and it's like wait a second, something needs attention.

01:10:10.681 --> 01:10:16.038
And then, once we put light on that darkness, see okay, what's going on.

01:10:16.038 --> 01:10:17.280
What is it?

01:10:17.280 --> 01:10:21.894
What fear, what pain, what struggle is it?

01:10:21.894 --> 01:10:26.684
And once we put light on it, it actually becomes really beautiful.

01:10:26.684 --> 01:10:30.436
And that's where I'm at today.

01:10:30.436 --> 01:10:36.698
It's like there's no more band-aids, there's no more ignorance, there's no more trying to numb it.

01:10:36.698 --> 01:10:38.716
There's like, okay, what's going on?

01:10:38.716 --> 01:10:49.074
And then fill it, turn it into something beautiful and it's amazing, that's super powerful.

01:10:49.115 --> 01:10:57.055
Sabine, you fill me with light and I'm sure that anybody that gets to watch or listen to this is going to feel the same way.

01:10:57.055 --> 01:11:22.216
Just the fact that you coming being broke and then into businesses, and then broke again, and then have kids, and then your then cancer troubles and then broke again, and then, oh my God, and then broke again, and then, oh my God, and then going through some domestic violence and here you are on top of it, two great kids and you're living in a dream place where you dreamed about since you were a kid.

01:11:22.216 --> 01:11:23.795
I mean full circle.

01:11:23.795 --> 01:11:28.077
I can't say more about how amazing you are.

01:11:28.077 --> 01:11:29.320
You know what I mean.

01:11:29.320 --> 01:11:32.515
So, yeah, jump on the bandwagon.

01:11:32.515 --> 01:11:35.162
Kids, because this woman's got it.

01:11:35.382 --> 01:11:40.798
So again, the her, from her podcast to her book.

01:11:40.798 --> 01:11:43.704
Everything's going to be in the show notes.

01:11:43.704 --> 01:11:45.453
I'm going to have a link directly to the book.

01:11:45.453 --> 01:11:48.159
I will link directly to the to her podcast.

01:11:48.159 --> 01:11:51.189
Um, and she is are.

01:11:51.189 --> 01:11:52.150
Do you follow?

01:11:52.150 --> 01:11:58.931
Are you mostly on Instagram and LinkedIn, so if people want to get in touch with you, oh, linkedin is really my main thing.

01:11:59.032 --> 01:12:02.853
I am on on Instagram also the power life coach.

01:12:02.853 --> 01:12:05.654
I don't post as often, but I'm there.

01:12:05.654 --> 01:12:08.534
I try to get myself to be active.

01:12:09.274 --> 01:12:16.237
Right, but the fact is that you are, you're a big portion of it is not life coaching and you're also a bit of business always grows on its own.

01:12:16.317 --> 01:12:25.800
It always does, and that's the thing I realized over the years too, when it comes to business, when you lean into like I always say, the inner game determines your outer game.

01:12:25.800 --> 01:12:27.119
That's my thing, and it never fails.

01:12:27.119 --> 01:13:13.914
When you put light on the inside and you work on your inside and you get to really authentically lean into what you're doing, it always works.

01:13:13.914 --> 01:13:15.336
You get to really authentically lean into what you're doing.

01:13:15.336 --> 01:13:19.318
It always works, it always thrives, it never fails.

01:13:19.318 --> 01:13:30.905
So it's interesting because, yes, I have a bunch of clients right now I work with and they all came for business advice and then we realized, wait a second, where's the problem here?

01:13:30.905 --> 01:13:31.947
It's really not the business.

01:13:32.186 --> 01:13:33.747
Let's look at this, let's start digging.

01:13:33.747 --> 01:13:42.253
And as we start digging and work on these things, they're like so weird Business is picking up.

01:13:42.253 --> 01:13:44.520
It's not weird, it's all connected.

01:13:44.520 --> 01:13:47.997
You're one person, it's all connected.

01:13:47.997 --> 01:13:54.559
So, yes, I do have the business background, I have the education, I have had seven businesses altogether.

01:13:54.559 --> 01:14:02.157
I know my crap, like I can be very helpful with that, but what's going on in here?

01:14:02.157 --> 01:14:05.104
That's usually top priority.

01:14:05.104 --> 01:14:07.109
And then we look at the other stuff.

01:14:07.109 --> 01:14:08.255
The other stuff is minor.

01:14:12.081 --> 01:14:14.671
It's like yeah, wow, you heard it here folks.

01:14:14.671 --> 01:14:21.583
All right, say it one more time the inner, your inner game determines your outer gain.

01:14:21.583 --> 01:14:23.011
There you go.

01:14:23.011 --> 01:14:26.280
Your inner game determines your outer gain.

01:14:26.280 --> 01:14:30.770
That is words to live by With that.

01:14:30.770 --> 01:14:36.243
I cannot end this podcast on a higher or better note than that.

01:14:36.243 --> 01:14:38.717
Sabine, thank you so much.

01:14:38.717 --> 01:14:40.073
It has been an honor.

01:14:40.876 --> 01:14:41.417
Thank you.

01:14:41.417 --> 01:14:45.158
Thank you, it was such a pleasure hanging out with you and talking to you.

01:14:45.899 --> 01:14:46.502
Thank you again.

01:14:46.502 --> 01:14:50.176
All right, folks, we will see you in the next one.

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Episode image for Overcoming Odds: Jonathan McLernan's Journey Through Trauma, ADHD, and Personal Transformation
Overcoming Odds: Jonathan McLernan's Journey Through Trauma, ADHD, and Personal Transformation