The player is loading ...
From Adversity to Authorship A Tale of Tenacity with Rhonda Parker Taylor
Have you ever met someone whose life is a testament to the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? Rhonda Parker Taylor is that person, and her story might just be the dose of inspiration you need right now. Join us as Rhonda, a true embodiment of resilience, opens up about her journey from a young girl in Noblesville, Indiana, grappling with learning disorders and undiagnosed ADHD, to a beacon of hope for many facing similar battles. Her candid recount of the struggles and triumphs through her education and personal life proves that with the right mentorship and a relentless spirit, the sky's the limit.
Writing can be a salve for the soul, and nobody knows that better than Rhonda. She shares how her exploration into literature and writing became her sanctuary and led her through the labyrinth of life's toughest challenges. From her transformative experiences in a writing class to the therapeutic process of penning her novel "Crossroads", Rhonda's evolution from a struggling student to a campus director and mentorship business founder is nothing short of miraculous. Her narrative reminds us of the strength we find when we harness our inner voice and the power of the written word.
In an era where social media often paints a picture of perfection, Rhonda's insights into the raw emotional landscape of the justice system and the reality of societal pressures bring us back to ground. Through her work in the Crime Watch District and her discussions on emotional intelligence, she offers a refreshingly honest perspective on finding contentment and happiness in simplicity. Rhonda's parting words, steeped in gratitude, challenge us all to chase our dreams with tenacity, reminding us that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – and the courage to take it.
Buy Rhonda's Book: Crossoads
Contact Rhonda
Website: RhondaParkerTaylor.com
Facebook: @rhonda.parker.967
Instagram: @rhondaparkertaylor
Have an idea or feedback? Click here to share.
Contact Brad @ Life Changing Challengers
Instagram: @bradaminus
Facebook: @bradaminus
X(Twitter): @bradaminus
YouTube: @lifechangingchallengers
LifeChangingChallengers.com
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.660 --> 00:00:02.080
All right, we're back.
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:10.127
My name is Brad Minus, I'm the host of Life Changing Challengers, and today I am so honored to have Rhonda Parker Taylor.
00:00:10.127 --> 00:00:25.257
She's an author, a researcher, also an entrepreneur, and she's got a really special story about overcoming adversity, learning disorders and some other challenges that she came in through her life, so this is going to be an amazing episode.
00:00:25.257 --> 00:00:26.301
I'm really looking forward to it.
00:00:26.301 --> 00:00:28.466
So, rhonda, how are you tonight?
00:00:28.928 --> 00:00:29.750
I am great.
00:00:29.750 --> 00:00:42.125
It would be better if it would really turn spring in Indiana, but we have the eclipse coming soon, so hopefully it'll all come out in the wash, but right now it's rainy.
00:00:43.109 --> 00:00:44.191
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that.
00:00:44.191 --> 00:00:49.908
I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, so I understand what you're going through.
00:00:49.908 --> 00:00:53.243
The changes are crazy and we're just about to head into winter.
00:00:53.243 --> 00:00:58.185
Well, actually, no, you're heading into spring, so everything's going to be much better, I know for sure.
00:00:59.368 --> 00:01:02.383
Right now you're dressing for all four seasons every day.
00:01:03.265 --> 00:01:05.230
Oh wow, it's that unpredictable, huh.
00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:07.043
Yes, it's very unpredictable.
00:01:07.685 --> 00:01:08.146
Oh, wow.
00:01:08.146 --> 00:01:11.853
So I always ask the same question of everybody.
00:01:11.853 --> 00:01:20.106
So could you tell us a little bit about your childhood, how you grew up, to complement your family and the environment that you grew up in?
00:01:20.608 --> 00:01:25.402
Sure, so I'm originally from Indiana, but I'm not from the Indianapolis area.
00:01:25.402 --> 00:01:32.227
Originally I'm from a small town called Noblesville, which is in the northern part of the Indianapolis suburbs.
00:01:32.227 --> 00:01:51.671
It was a was small, and then I also went to a private school, so that school was only there was only 50 in my graduating class.
00:01:51.671 --> 00:01:52.253
That's how small.
00:01:52.253 --> 00:01:55.064
But it had very high standards.
00:01:55.064 --> 00:02:06.914
And if you wanted to talk about my family, they were a very much traditional patriarch structure loving, but you know you definitely had to perform at your highest level.
00:02:06.914 --> 00:02:20.854
My dad's favorite saying was if it's meant to be, it's up to me, which basically would tell us that all the time Don't compare yourself, don't put yourself in that windmill.
00:02:20.854 --> 00:02:26.623
If you want to do something then you have to be the one to do it, don't expect someone else to do it for you.
00:02:26.623 --> 00:02:31.118
But that was kind of challenging because I was the baby girl.
00:02:31.118 --> 00:02:32.723
There was five of us kids.
00:02:32.723 --> 00:02:36.430
I have a little brother, so I was the second to the youngest.
00:02:36.911 --> 00:02:43.263
I was kind of people would say I was social, but at the same time I was very timid.
00:02:43.263 --> 00:02:48.425
Things would frighten me, make me scared easily.
00:02:48.425 --> 00:02:57.812
So if I were to categorize myself as one of the dogs breeds, it's one of those ones that just hides behind their owners all the time.
00:02:57.812 --> 00:03:01.194
It was a difficult transition for me.
00:03:01.194 --> 00:03:04.056
Sometimes I flunked kindergarten.
00:03:04.056 --> 00:03:05.737
How do you flunk kindergarten?
00:03:06.180 --> 00:03:07.085
That's what I was going to ask.
00:03:07.085 --> 00:03:09.908
That's terrible actually.
00:03:10.762 --> 00:03:13.030
I just wasn't going to be ready, what they said.
00:03:13.030 --> 00:03:28.087
So, for me, socializing became my lifeline, and my older brother, I, considered him the smart one, so I didn't ever want to compete.
00:03:28.087 --> 00:03:34.960
So I just kept navigating towards social and supporting my friends and my family.
00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:45.552
And so, for me personally, I didn't do the self-development that I probably needed to at a younger age.
00:03:45.552 --> 00:04:01.312
And so, you know, instead of worrying about what I needed to learn and my challenges and expressing some of the challenges that I had, I would navigate, helping others and making sure for being successful.
00:04:01.312 --> 00:04:05.189
I would say that I probably had a learning disability.
00:04:05.189 --> 00:04:17.372
If I had to guess you know I've done a lot of studying in my adult years I would say I probably have some ADHD, not diagnosed with it, but just from knowing how I pop around.
00:04:17.372 --> 00:04:19.749
And my dad used to describe me as a butterfly.
00:04:19.749 --> 00:04:21.968
He said you're like a butterfly.
00:04:21.968 --> 00:04:23.065
All you do is go from flower to flower.
00:04:23.065 --> 00:04:25.098
Right, he said you're like a butterfly, all you do is go from flower to flower.
00:04:25.939 --> 00:04:26.120
Right.
00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:48.463
So I think for me, the challenges also became what I used to motivate me to, because I got humiliated in some cases when I was not being successful, like maybe some of my peers or some of my family members.
00:04:48.463 --> 00:05:01.093
So a good example is we had to pass an English proficiency test and to graduate, and I flunked in my junior year and you had to pass it with a C or better.
00:05:01.093 --> 00:05:05.711
So one of the teachers the English teacher her name was Miss Dolly.
00:05:05.711 --> 00:05:07.843
She said you know, I'll tutor you over the summer.
00:05:07.843 --> 00:05:19.452
So I had gone out and gotten a job at Arby's and I was sitting on her floor, you know, in the afternoons and working at night.
00:05:19.452 --> 00:05:26.312
And the summer was over, my senior year was coming and she had really gotten to know me.
00:05:26.312 --> 00:05:33.108
So this is where the power of a mentor really can make a difference, because she changed the whole trajectory of my life.
00:05:33.810 --> 00:05:34.190
Really.
00:05:34.692 --> 00:05:39.509
Yes, Because I passed and I went to pay her.
00:05:39.509 --> 00:05:40.906
I asked her how much I owed her.
00:05:40.906 --> 00:05:42.184
She said you just passed.
00:05:43.848 --> 00:05:44.490
Pay it forward.
00:05:44.920 --> 00:05:45.543
Yeah how much I owed her.
00:05:45.543 --> 00:05:46.791
She said you just pass, pay it forward.
00:05:46.791 --> 00:05:47.495
Yeah, and so so she.
00:05:47.495 --> 00:05:53.151
You know, she was probably only 98 pounds, just a little spitfire of a woman.
00:05:53.151 --> 00:06:10.815
And I found that I could be successful and I could be that business person that I thought I wanted to be and in my I always thought I had to shift and go in a direction that would require the math, the writing, the English and stuff like that.
00:06:10.815 --> 00:06:12.983
So I went, so I got to go to college.
00:06:12.983 --> 00:06:15.430
Because of that, that's amazing.
00:06:15.860 --> 00:06:21.326
And so then, yes, it was more like a junior college at first and it was in fashion.
00:06:21.326 --> 00:06:24.661
So I went to learn to be a buyer and I'm thinking I can in fashion.
00:06:24.661 --> 00:06:25.560
So I went to learn to be a buyer and I'm thinking I can do fashion.
00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:28.649
That was the thing for women.
00:06:28.649 --> 00:06:35.827
I went to the Dallas area, fort Worth, because all the rich and single people were supposed to live in Dallas.
00:06:35.827 --> 00:06:41.165
Old people like me remember the Dallas and the Dynasty shows.
00:06:41.466 --> 00:06:42.790
Oh, yeah, right, right, jr.
00:06:42.790 --> 00:06:44.023
Who shot JR?
00:06:45.841 --> 00:07:18.410
So I went down there and I learned that not only could I be successful, but I learned how to change the way I approach learning, visualization, and I always tried to do it through, you know, the techniques of a person that needs to hear it or see it, and I didn't realize I needed both and I needed to be able to do it with my hands, you know, and really engross myself in it.
00:07:18.410 --> 00:07:23.221
So here I am, you know, as a grown person with a doctorate.
00:07:24.124 --> 00:07:25.045
That's amazing.
00:07:25.305 --> 00:07:29.031
All the way through that just because one person spent the time with me.
00:07:29.031 --> 00:07:31.115
But I had to be prepared.
00:07:31.115 --> 00:07:36.990
And that's the thing that a lot of times that people don't realize you don't get opportunities unless you're prepared.
00:07:36.990 --> 00:07:42.471
It's not luck, it's opportunity and preparation.
00:07:42.471 --> 00:07:45.007
Meeting that's what luck really is.
00:07:45.841 --> 00:07:46.987
And what did your dad always say?
00:07:47.860 --> 00:07:50.045
If it's meant to be, it's up to me.
00:07:50.567 --> 00:07:51.288
There you go.
00:07:51.288 --> 00:07:52.009
That's it.
00:07:52.009 --> 00:07:52.711
You lived it.
00:07:52.711 --> 00:07:53.692
You absolutely lived it.
00:07:53.692 --> 00:08:03.769
I do want to ask a couple of things, because I know that earlier in life I don't know if it was high school or prior to that that you had been gravitated.
00:08:03.769 --> 00:08:07.244
You had gravitated toward writing even then, but you found it difficult.
00:08:07.244 --> 00:08:10.132
Can you tell me how you felt or what that actually looked like?
00:08:10.132 --> 00:08:22.362
Just in case that we've got somebody that's watching or listening, I should say that might have some of those symptoms that you know, to give them some hope and show them hey, there's a way to move past this.
00:08:22.963 --> 00:08:23.685
Oh, definitely.
00:08:23.685 --> 00:08:23.966
So.
00:08:23.966 --> 00:08:28.074
The first thing is when I was taking a writing class.
00:08:28.074 --> 00:08:30.788
Well, when I was younger, I was always carrying a book.
00:08:30.788 --> 00:08:42.613
I didn't realize it, but they were all way over my head, probably intellectually, but it showed that I had a desire to learn about the world.
00:08:42.613 --> 00:08:53.846
Here again, I came from a small town Encyclopedias, karma, you know all these things that you know that are really deep rooted.
00:08:53.846 --> 00:08:59.613
So that's the first sign that wait a minute, where is this coming from?
00:08:59.613 --> 00:09:03.331
But for me, I had to write and they said what's your first memory?
00:09:03.331 --> 00:09:08.407
And it took that first memory and it was in the writing 101 class.
00:09:08.407 --> 00:09:18.937
There again, I couldn't write and once I pulled that one thread out and saw the challenge that I had, it was the destruction of my pink blanket.
00:09:18.937 --> 00:09:20.140
That was my first memory.
00:09:21.062 --> 00:09:22.065
Oh, wow, okay.
00:09:22.346 --> 00:09:29.910
Like when you're a little kid, when you're carrying a little pink blanket around, and it was when my brothers and sisters decided it was time for it to go.
00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:33.868
They had to take your binky away.
00:09:34.241 --> 00:09:35.480
Yes, they did so.
00:09:36.120 --> 00:09:49.884
What it did, though, is when I sat down to write, I realized that not only could it be about your emotions and feelings, but there was a whole world that you can build out there.
00:09:50.365 --> 00:10:24.527
So I wrote about the memory, but then I also made it into a learning lesson about both in self-development because, you know, I was in a writing class, and I found then that I really enjoyed pulling out that emotion, and I think that if anybody ever reads whether it be any of my academic writing or my fiction novel Crossroads, you'll find that I spend a lot of detail more on the people and what their emotions like.
00:10:24.586 --> 00:10:49.971
Crossroads explores the emotions of anger, fury and envy, and so I spend that time navigating the individual and trying to create a bond between the reader and the characters, but it's really also with me, because we've all experienced all of that.
00:10:49.971 --> 00:11:06.270
No matter what your life is, whether it be full of blessings or full of challenges or a little mixed of both, we've all gone through some of those emotions at some point, gone through some of those emotions at some point.
00:11:06.270 --> 00:11:19.062
So the part about writing is it really assists one, whether it be for journaling, for fiction, for, you know, work, whatever it is.
00:11:19.062 --> 00:11:25.832
If you put yourself into it and you create something that you can be proud of, then you've successfully completed that day, and that great day is great.
00:11:26.913 --> 00:11:27.995
Oh, absolutely.
00:11:27.995 --> 00:11:39.669
And just for your information, everybody Crossroads, it's a suspense novel that she wrote and you actually wrote it in 2000, but actually didn't publish it till 2023.
00:11:39.669 --> 00:11:40.772
Oh, there it is.
00:11:41.352 --> 00:11:41.793
Here it is.
00:11:41.793 --> 00:11:47.010
It's Crossroads, and I do want to say that I'm really into the imagery part of things.
00:11:47.010 --> 00:11:51.812
So Indiana is considered the crossroads of America because of the railroad tracks.
00:11:51.812 --> 00:12:01.253
Originally the railroad tracks were here and well, there's still railroad tracks, but everything went through Indiana to get to any part of the United States.
00:12:01.253 --> 00:12:06.966
And Crossroads is about navigating the world and I wrote it in 2000.
00:12:06.966 --> 00:12:12.666
And the blessing of it was it took me.
00:12:12.666 --> 00:12:16.062
I was able to sit down and just write it and it took me about a year to get it all ready.
00:12:16.062 --> 00:12:21.373
I had a publisher ready and then my life started coming in and unraveled.
00:12:21.373 --> 00:12:36.171
I was, I was working at in academics I was also part of, I had just gotten promoted to be a campus director for a local college and then Hold on a second.
00:12:36.291 --> 00:12:37.552
We need to step back here.
00:12:37.552 --> 00:12:38.835
Just one quick second.
00:12:38.835 --> 00:12:40.121
Did you hear this?
00:12:40.121 --> 00:12:45.342
Did you actually hear this this woman was talking about she had to have a mentor to learn to write.
00:12:45.342 --> 00:12:48.570
Now she's a campus director.
00:12:48.570 --> 00:12:53.445
Can we sit there and say what a complete 360 that this woman did?
00:12:53.445 --> 00:12:58.754
She went from borderline learning disorder to an academic.
00:12:58.754 --> 00:13:07.809
That's absolutely, that's amazing how you were able to pull that out, and you did it with belief that you could do it and a lot of hard work, obviously.
00:13:08.100 --> 00:13:18.826
And you're that person and I'm really glad you stopped and made me take a step back, because I think that anybody out there in your audience that's going through a challenge.
00:13:18.826 --> 00:13:32.485
I have a little jingle that I have for you and it comes from Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and it's put one foot in front of the other and so be walking across the floor.
00:13:32.485 --> 00:13:35.869
Any challenge that's out there.
00:13:35.869 --> 00:13:55.865
Yes, you're going to have to take a second to gather your thoughts, practice the positivity to keep yourself from going over the edge, but then, once you start putting those feet and putting a plan in place and staying disciplined and believing in yourself, you can stay in focus.
00:13:55.865 --> 00:14:08.490
It can happen, but you have to realize the true challenges of making it happen and for me, you know, I thought it was going to be that first time when I had the publisher.
00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:10.160
Yeah.
00:14:10.721 --> 00:14:13.607
Then the world fell apart literally in my hands.
00:14:13.607 --> 00:14:18.168
I am sitting in my family room, I'm writing a letter, believe it or not.
00:14:18.168 --> 00:14:30.893
I'm writing a letter to somebody and there's a knock at the door and that knock, when I opened, it was my adopted son's girlfriend and a police officer.
00:14:31.674 --> 00:14:42.681
Oh officer?
00:14:42.701 --> 00:14:43.001
oh, and they had.
00:14:43.001 --> 00:14:47.293
They came to tell me that my adopted son had been shot and killed at work and that literally that's the age group too.
00:14:47.293 --> 00:15:05.510
She was working at a bar as a bouncer and they put somebody out and at when they came out at the last call, the guy shot this whole security team, and in that moment nothing else mattered.
00:15:05.510 --> 00:15:12.480
Of course, that book sat on my desk after that for the longest.
00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:20.803
I always had all the intentions of the world to get it published, but I hadn't found the lesson yet in it.
00:15:20.803 --> 00:15:35.552
I was still reinventing myself, because that challenge took me to a place that I'm like can I really work with college students at that age, the same age as my son?
00:15:35.552 --> 00:15:50.854
And I knew that I could under certain circumstances, but being on a college campus was going to be too difficult, so I stepped back from that and I created my own business, which was mentoring students.
00:15:50.854 --> 00:15:56.210
That had challenges oh well perfect whether it would be.
00:15:56.811 --> 00:16:02.571
they didn't know how to do a resume, they didn't know how to do the career search with the computers.
00:16:02.571 --> 00:16:12.269
And you know, a lot of people were trying to learn during that period about how to even do a job search with a computer, because it used to be do just the resume.
00:16:12.269 --> 00:16:15.570
Now it's this whole new computer age and nobody knew how to do it.
00:16:15.570 --> 00:16:26.855
And then also then eventually I pulled back the academics back into it and started mentoring for the people's masters and theses and dissertations.
00:16:26.855 --> 00:16:33.850
But I had to take the life lesson before I could take all those steps and before I could take all those steps.
00:16:34.611 --> 00:16:59.408
And then one day I had to go in and I had to get something off a floppy disk and it erupted and it had my book on it and I looked at it sitting because I had printed it at one point because I was getting ready to publish it Right right, and I looked at it sitting on my desk.
00:16:59.408 --> 00:17:07.834
It was still sitting in the same place I've been sitting and I had images of me having to retype and edit the whole thing.
00:17:07.834 --> 00:17:11.272
Oh my god, what found in the lessons.
00:17:11.413 --> 00:17:26.459
Oh my God, what we found in the lessons from losing a loved one and then looking like I was going to lose the book was that I had some skills that I needed to work on.
00:17:26.459 --> 00:17:32.372
Still, being a life learner is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
00:17:32.372 --> 00:17:38.192
And I was talking to my sister and she says why haven't you published it?
00:17:38.192 --> 00:17:44.712
And I was like, well, you know I'm busy and that's, and you know, making every excuse.
00:17:44.712 --> 00:17:45.865
She says that's not it.
00:17:45.865 --> 00:17:49.589
She says you're afraid to make yourself vulnerable.
00:17:49.589 --> 00:17:53.164
And I'm like, no, that's not.
00:17:53.164 --> 00:17:55.682
You know, of course I don't care if you know people read you.
00:17:55.682 --> 00:17:57.749
She says you know, I don't care what people think.
00:17:57.749 --> 00:18:01.609
And sure enough, she was right.
00:18:01.609 --> 00:18:24.696
It required me to reevaluate my priorities, and I found that in that season, in that moment, I had to take a step back again and redefine what the lesson was supposed to be for me too.
00:18:25.297 --> 00:18:42.200
In the book I wrote the book as a reason to elevate myself and my skills, and I started hiding behind making others successful.
00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:49.132
I see so when your sister had said, okay, is it you need to make yourself vulnerable or is this going to make you vulnerable?
00:18:49.132 --> 00:18:50.516
Was it strictly about the writing?
00:18:50.516 --> 00:18:55.345
Was it that it was your art, that you'd never put anything out there before, that you needed to get that done?
00:18:55.345 --> 00:19:07.646
Or was there a piece of harris pennington in you that you didn't want the world to see within this masterpiece of fiction?
00:19:08.189 --> 00:19:09.030
I think it's both.
00:19:09.030 --> 00:19:18.512
I think that I didn't I fearful of putting it out there, but also I think, yes, there is a part of every character in there that's me.
00:19:18.512 --> 00:19:25.432
You could say it's Hinton, but you know I'm a people person.
00:19:25.432 --> 00:19:46.087
So even Billy Knuckles, who's the guy that has to debate whether he wants to be a rat against his friend or not, you know, I've never been in that situation, but guess what I could have been, because I was always putting people first, always, putting, you know, excuses for behaviors.
00:19:46.087 --> 00:19:52.714
You know, I was always the more responsible one in the group, you know, so it very easily could have been me.
00:19:52.714 --> 00:19:54.625
How many times have we had someone that's gotten into our car?
00:19:54.625 --> 00:19:55.480
We really don't know what they're talking about, right?
00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:55.866
So you know, so it very easily could have been me.
00:19:55.866 --> 00:19:56.578
How many times have we had someone that's gotten into our car?
00:19:56.578 --> 00:19:57.374
We really don't know what they're talking about, right?
00:19:57.374 --> 00:20:00.467
So you know, I think that it was.
00:20:00.867 --> 00:20:06.288
But Paris Pennington, definitely, people would always say that I always had it together.
00:20:06.288 --> 00:20:18.567
You know, even though most people that you know my story and know me since pre-kindergarten would say I didn't know you had a learning challenge or disability.
00:20:18.567 --> 00:20:24.066
They thought you know, they were like, oh, you were popular, you had this, and it's like they didn't know.
00:20:24.066 --> 00:20:38.951
You know, undertaking the challenge of exposing that, hey, everybody's house is made of glass and it can be easily shattered and might have been shattered many times.
00:20:38.951 --> 00:20:40.643
You know whether it be.
00:20:40.643 --> 00:20:41.788
You know the death.
00:20:41.788 --> 00:20:44.521
I've had several loved ones, we have a.
00:20:44.521 --> 00:20:49.393
I have a date that you know I dread every year because I'm like, ok, who am I going to lose this year?
00:20:49.393 --> 00:20:55.288
Because everybody that I've known and loved just died on September 19th.
00:20:58.953 --> 00:20:59.253
What?
00:20:59.253 --> 00:21:01.425
I'm sorry, that just threw me for a loop.
00:21:02.162 --> 00:21:06.189
But it's the truth, and so it's like that's a whole nother book that.
00:21:06.189 --> 00:21:07.071
I could write Probably.
00:21:07.660 --> 00:21:09.487
Because my mother died on it.
00:21:09.487 --> 00:21:12.068
Four years later my son died on it.
00:21:12.068 --> 00:21:16.148
Then my dad turned around and his was was going to be.
00:21:16.148 --> 00:21:27.525
They were telling us that he wasn't going to make it, and you know that it was a september 19th and and they we told him well, you know he's the same day as mom and she's.
00:21:27.525 --> 00:21:32.124
He said no, let him, let her have her day and do it after midnight.
00:21:32.124 --> 00:21:48.113
And so he died, died on September 20th, and then I have had an uncle, and then you know, it's like everybody, it's like everybody, and I think that what I can hopefully tell people is face those fears.
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:51.506
Crossroads was a fear for me.
00:21:51.506 --> 00:21:55.823
You're right, paris Pennington is a part of me, but isn't me, but it is.
00:21:55.823 --> 00:22:02.068
We all navigate the world with a set of core values.
00:22:02.068 --> 00:22:09.128
My set of core values that was handed down from my father and my family is you must work.
00:22:09.128 --> 00:22:12.236
If you don't work, you don't have value.
00:22:12.236 --> 00:22:17.867
Work, you don't have value, and that's a big Midwest core value.
00:22:17.867 --> 00:22:21.083
And so that was Paris' core value.
00:22:21.103 --> 00:22:28.942
So, yes, there's a lot of Paris that's in it, but I had to realize that the commitment had to be to me also.
00:22:28.942 --> 00:22:36.525
I run around for 20 years pushing people to be the best versions of themselves.
00:22:36.525 --> 00:22:46.090
But I had stopped doing the self-care and I'm not talking about just, you know, fitness self-care.
00:22:46.090 --> 00:22:56.548
I'm talking about the self-care of emotions, self-care of relationships, self-care of mindfulness, self-awareness because I was doing it for other people.
00:22:56.548 --> 00:23:01.595
I was just pushing them forward and pushing them forward, and I don't regret that, trust me.
00:23:01.595 --> 00:23:12.463
I have gotten so much joy out of seeing people break through their own barriers, but it was just time for me to give myself that same chance.
00:23:13.946 --> 00:23:25.295
Yeah, there is a book and you probably know about it because just because of your academia but it's called the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.
00:23:25.295 --> 00:23:26.020
You've heard of it.
00:23:26.020 --> 00:23:39.090
Yes, so she actually defines that person, because I used to be that person too Actually, I still am to a point, but I have come to a point where I've learned that I've got to take care of myself first and then move forward, but that took me a while as well.
00:23:39.090 --> 00:23:53.902
But she decides she defines it as the shadow warrior is the person that's always pushing other people to get to their best right they're the ones in the back, they're the shadow, but that shadow never sees the light right.
00:23:53.922 --> 00:24:01.207
So that's what you were saying is a classic definition of what Julia said was the shadow warrior.
00:24:01.207 --> 00:24:04.170
That doesn't say that there's anything bad about the shadow warrior.
00:24:04.170 --> 00:24:17.648
The shadow warrior is a very, most likely a very good person, but they don't do the things for themselves, they don't seek out the success for themselves, they only see it for other people, which is what you did, which is what I did in the same way.
00:24:17.648 --> 00:24:19.715
So, yeah, I can see that happening.
00:24:19.715 --> 00:24:35.058
I do have a quick question for you Was there any bit of that exposure of vulnerability that you wrote into Crossroads when the judge kind of outs Harris Pennington, when the judge kind of outs Harris Pennington.
00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:36.261
Was there a?
00:24:36.261 --> 00:24:54.173
Yes, because I think that everybody's been in a position whether it be a loved one, whether it be the court system or whether it be, you know even yourself where you've put yourself in a situation and then you're oust, as you would put it.
00:24:54.173 --> 00:25:03.359
But also, during the period of time when I was just before I wrote Crossroads, I had been part of the Crimewatch District.
00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:35.111
I had been part of the Crime Watch District and it wasn't where I lived, it was where my church was located in the Indianapolis area and they gave me a adopt-a-block area that was six blocks of about the worst in Indianapolis, and I learned a lot about the justice system and even though the United States has one of the best justice systems in the world, it's not perfect.
00:25:35.691 --> 00:25:36.372
Not even close.
00:25:37.031 --> 00:25:41.752
Right and there is no winners and losers.
00:25:41.752 --> 00:26:14.901
Everybody's a loser when you end up in the justice system, including the jury foreman, because you're in a vulnerable place and you learn a lot by just being in the room, Because it doesn't matter whether you're a victim, a prosecutor, a defense attorney, a judge, a jury, the family of the victim, the family of the perpetrator, all of them are in the room and now they have to be there for a period of time together.
00:26:14.901 --> 00:26:21.932
And now you have to decide okay, what am I supposed to learn?
00:26:21.932 --> 00:26:24.942
And that's what Paris went through and I went through that many times.
00:26:24.942 --> 00:26:31.094
I can remember this elderly lady that lived in those six blocks and she would call my cell phone.
00:00:00.660 --> 00:00:02.080
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:10.127
00:00:10.127 --> 00:00:25.257
00:00:25.257 --> 00:00:26.301
00:00:26.301 --> 00:00:28.466
00:00:28.928 --> 00:00:29.750
00:00:29.750 --> 00:00:42.125
00:00:43.109 --> 00:00:44.191
00:00:44.191 --> 00:00:49.908
00:00:49.908 --> 00:00:53.243
00:00:53.243 --> 00:00:58.185
00:00:59.368 --> 00:01:02.383
00:01:03.265 --> 00:01:05.230
00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:07.043
00:01:07.685 --> 00:01:08.146
00:01:08.146 --> 00:01:11.853
00:01:11.853 --> 00:01:20.106
00:01:20.608 --> 00:01:25.402
00:01:25.402 --> 00:01:32.227
00:01:32.227 --> 00:01:51.671
00:01:51.671 --> 00:01:52.253
00:01:52.253 --> 00:01:55.064
00:01:55.064 --> 00:02:06.914
00:02:06.914 --> 00:02:20.854
00:02:20.854 --> 00:02:26.623
00:02:26.623 --> 00:02:31.118
00:02:31.118 --> 00:02:32.723
00:02:32.723 --> 00:02:36.430
00:02:36.911 --> 00:02:43.263
00:02:43.263 --> 00:02:48.425
00:02:48.425 --> 00:02:57.812
00:02:57.812 --> 00:03:01.194
00:03:01.194 --> 00:03:04.056
00:03:04.056 --> 00:03:05.737
00:03:06.180 --> 00:03:07.085
00:03:07.085 --> 00:03:09.908
00:03:10.762 --> 00:03:13.030
00:03:13.030 --> 00:03:28.087
00:03:28.087 --> 00:03:34.960
00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:45.552
00:03:45.552 --> 00:04:01.312
00:04:01.312 --> 00:04:05.189
00:04:05.189 --> 00:04:17.372
00:04:17.372 --> 00:04:19.749
00:04:19.749 --> 00:04:21.968
00:04:21.968 --> 00:04:23.065
00:04:23.065 --> 00:04:25.098
00:04:25.939 --> 00:04:26.120
00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:48.463
00:04:48.463 --> 00:05:01.093
00:05:01.093 --> 00:05:05.711
00:05:05.711 --> 00:05:07.843
00:05:07.843 --> 00:05:19.452
00:05:19.452 --> 00:05:26.312
00:05:26.312 --> 00:05:33.108
00:05:33.810 --> 00:05:34.190
00:05:34.692 --> 00:05:39.509
00:05:39.509 --> 00:05:40.906
00:05:40.906 --> 00:05:42.184
00:05:43.848 --> 00:05:44.490
00:05:44.920 --> 00:05:45.543
00:05:45.543 --> 00:05:46.791
00:05:46.791 --> 00:05:47.495
00:05:47.495 --> 00:05:53.151
00:05:53.151 --> 00:06:10.815
00:06:10.815 --> 00:06:12.983
00:06:12.983 --> 00:06:15.430
00:06:15.860 --> 00:06:21.326
00:06:21.326 --> 00:06:24.661
00:06:24.661 --> 00:06:25.560
00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:28.649
00:06:28.649 --> 00:06:35.827
00:06:35.827 --> 00:06:41.165
00:06:41.466 --> 00:06:42.790
00:06:42.790 --> 00:06:44.023
00:06:45.841 --> 00:07:18.410
00:07:18.410 --> 00:07:23.221
00:07:24.124 --> 00:07:25.045
00:07:25.305 --> 00:07:29.031
00:07:29.031 --> 00:07:31.115
00:07:31.115 --> 00:07:36.990
00:07:36.990 --> 00:07:42.471
00:07:42.471 --> 00:07:45.007
00:07:45.841 --> 00:07:46.987
00:07:47.860 --> 00:07:50.045
00:07:50.567 --> 00:07:51.288
00:07:51.288 --> 00:07:52.009
00:07:52.009 --> 00:07:52.711
00:07:52.711 --> 00:07:53.692
00:07:53.692 --> 00:08:03.769
00:08:03.769 --> 00:08:07.244
00:08:07.244 --> 00:08:10.132
00:08:10.132 --> 00:08:22.362
00:08:22.963 --> 00:08:23.685
00:08:23.685 --> 00:08:23.966
00:08:23.966 --> 00:08:28.074
00:08:28.074 --> 00:08:30.788
00:08:30.788 --> 00:08:42.613
00:08:42.613 --> 00:08:53.846
00:08:53.846 --> 00:08:59.613
00:08:59.613 --> 00:09:03.331
00:09:03.331 --> 00:09:08.407
00:09:08.407 --> 00:09:18.937
00:09:18.937 --> 00:09:20.140
00:09:21.062 --> 00:09:22.065
00:09:22.346 --> 00:09:29.910
00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:33.868
00:09:34.241 --> 00:09:35.480
00:09:36.120 --> 00:09:49.884
00:09:50.365 --> 00:10:24.527
00:10:24.586 --> 00:10:49.971
00:10:49.971 --> 00:11:06.270
00:11:06.270 --> 00:11:19.062
00:11:19.062 --> 00:11:25.832
00:11:26.913 --> 00:11:27.995
00:11:27.995 --> 00:11:39.669
00:11:39.669 --> 00:11:40.772
00:11:41.352 --> 00:11:41.793
00:11:41.793 --> 00:11:47.010
00:11:47.010 --> 00:11:51.812
00:11:51.812 --> 00:12:01.253
00:12:01.253 --> 00:12:06.966
00:12:06.966 --> 00:12:12.666
00:12:12.666 --> 00:12:16.062
00:12:16.062 --> 00:12:21.373
00:12:21.373 --> 00:12:36.171
00:12:36.291 --> 00:12:37.552
00:12:37.552 --> 00:12:38.835
00:12:38.835 --> 00:12:40.121
00:12:40.121 --> 00:12:45.342
00:12:45.342 --> 00:12:48.570
00:12:48.570 --> 00:12:53.445
00:12:53.445 --> 00:12:58.754
00:12:58.754 --> 00:13:07.809
00:13:08.100 --> 00:13:18.826
00:13:18.826 --> 00:13:32.485
00:13:32.485 --> 00:13:35.869
00:13:35.869 --> 00:13:55.865
00:13:55.865 --> 00:14:08.490
00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:10.160
00:14:10.721 --> 00:14:13.607
00:14:13.607 --> 00:14:18.168
00:14:18.168 --> 00:14:30.893
00:14:31.674 --> 00:14:42.681
00:14:42.701 --> 00:14:43.001
00:14:43.001 --> 00:14:47.293
00:14:47.293 --> 00:15:05.510
00:15:05.510 --> 00:15:12.480
00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:20.803
00:15:20.803 --> 00:15:35.552
00:15:35.552 --> 00:15:50.854
00:15:50.854 --> 00:15:56.210
00:15:56.811 --> 00:16:02.571
00:16:02.571 --> 00:16:12.269
00:16:12.269 --> 00:16:15.570
00:16:15.570 --> 00:16:26.855
00:16:26.855 --> 00:16:33.850
00:16:34.611 --> 00:16:59.408
00:16:59.408 --> 00:17:07.834
00:17:07.834 --> 00:17:11.272
00:17:11.413 --> 00:17:26.459
00:17:26.459 --> 00:17:32.372
00:17:32.372 --> 00:17:38.192
00:17:38.192 --> 00:17:44.712
00:17:44.712 --> 00:17:45.865
00:17:45.865 --> 00:17:49.589
00:17:49.589 --> 00:17:53.164
00:17:53.164 --> 00:17:55.682
00:17:55.682 --> 00:17:57.749
00:17:57.749 --> 00:18:01.609
00:18:01.609 --> 00:18:24.696
00:18:25.297 --> 00:18:42.200
00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:49.132
00:18:49.132 --> 00:18:50.516
00:18:50.516 --> 00:18:55.345
00:18:55.345 --> 00:19:07.646
00:19:08.189 --> 00:19:09.030
00:19:09.030 --> 00:19:18.512
00:19:18.512 --> 00:19:25.432
00:19:25.432 --> 00:19:46.087
00:19:46.087 --> 00:19:52.714
00:19:52.714 --> 00:19:54.625
00:19:54.625 --> 00:19:55.480
00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:55.866
00:19:55.866 --> 00:19:56.578
00:19:56.578 --> 00:19:57.374
00:19:57.374 --> 00:20:00.467
00:20:00.867 --> 00:20:06.288
00:20:06.288 --> 00:20:18.567
00:20:18.567 --> 00:20:24.066
00:20:24.066 --> 00:20:38.951
00:20:38.951 --> 00:20:40.643
00:20:40.643 --> 00:20:41.788
00:20:41.788 --> 00:20:44.521
00:20:44.521 --> 00:20:49.393
00:20:49.393 --> 00:20:55.288
00:20:58.953 --> 00:20:59.253
00:20:59.253 --> 00:21:01.425
00:21:02.162 --> 00:21:06.189
00:21:06.189 --> 00:21:07.071
00:21:07.660 --> 00:21:09.487
00:21:09.487 --> 00:21:12.068
00:21:12.068 --> 00:21:16.148
00:21:16.148 --> 00:21:27.525
00:21:27.525 --> 00:21:32.124
00:21:32.124 --> 00:21:48.113
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:51.506
00:21:51.506 --> 00:21:55.823
00:21:55.823 --> 00:22:02.068
00:22:02.068 --> 00:22:09.128
00:22:09.128 --> 00:22:12.236
00:22:12.236 --> 00:22:17.867
00:22:17.867 --> 00:22:21.083
00:22:21.103 --> 00:22:28.942
00:22:28.942 --> 00:22:36.525
00:22:36.525 --> 00:22:46.090
00:22:46.090 --> 00:22:56.548
00:22:56.548 --> 00:23:01.595
00:23:01.595 --> 00:23:12.463
00:23:13.946 --> 00:23:25.295
00:23:25.295 --> 00:23:26.020
00:23:26.020 --> 00:23:39.090
00:23:39.090 --> 00:23:53.902
00:23:53.922 --> 00:24:01.207
00:24:01.207 --> 00:24:04.170
00:24:04.170 --> 00:24:17.648
00:24:17.648 --> 00:24:19.715
00:24:19.715 --> 00:24:35.058
00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:36.261
00:24:36.261 --> 00:24:54.173
00:24:54.173 --> 00:25:03.359
00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:35.111
00:25:35.691 --> 00:25:36.372
00:25:37.031 --> 00:25:41.752
00:25:41.752 --> 00:26:14.901
00:26:14.901 --> 00:26:21.932
00:26:21.932 --> 00:26:24.942
00:26:24.942 --> 00:26:31.094